Pirates of The Caribbean: On Jersey Tides


Avast all these negative reviews! The critics are scallywags! Aye, if you’re a swashbuckler yourself then I’ll stake my last swig of rum that you won’t be disappointed in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Grab your wench and make way for the theater!

The fast paced, action packed opening scene includes Captain Jack Sparrow salivating over a pastry. Pirates eat pastries, and wash them down with rum it’s simple as that. They also get advice from Keith Richards, and yes, he’s back! Depp is also back in top form as Captain Jack Sparrow, a character I never get bored of watching. This time the journey involved the fountain of youth, and standing in the way is Blackbeard (Ian McShane). On Stranger Tides allows Sparrow to be funny, heroic, and yet still underhanded because after all, he’s a pirate! I even drew a comparison to Teen Wolf of all films. Sparrow balanced atop moving carriages through a town during the opening sequence just like Styles did on top of Howard’s Hardware van. Styles was a bit of a pirate wasn’t he?

In a twist that I found pretty damn cool, we find out that Captain Jack corrupted a young girl while she was in a convent years back and now she’s out for revenge. Penelope Crews plays the spunky Angelica, a fiery female pirate who was once spoiled by Sparrow. Depp and Crews chemistry was the highlight of the film and I’d like to see more of it in this series. With Depp pushing 50 and Crews pushing 40, both actors look like they went through a real life fountain of youth. Crews was a perfect casting choice to help extend this franchise and I do hope to see her in future installments. HINT: If you wait until after the credits role you’ll see a clip featuring Angelica and who she might set her eyes on in the next film.

As for the 3-D effect, it was not overdone. I forgot I even had the IMAX 3-D glasses on for the majority of the movie. I thought it would be a sword jabbing fest. Like in most 3-D movies that feature swords, they only jutted out toward the audience a few times. The half underwater scenes were superb. You know those scenes when only half the camera is submerged underwater? In this film that effect seemed so real that it made me feel like I was actually underwater. But beware, you will need your sea legs for one scene though. Captain Jack and Barbossa meet inside of Ponce de Leon’s ship which is stuck up on top of a mountain. As they attempt to duel they realize that the ship begins to sway back and forth as they move. This balancing act scene may indeed make you sea sick and they aren’t even in the ocean!

Entertainment Weekly reviewer Owen Gleiberman writes in his review that he had began to wish that “…Russell Brand had been handed the role of Jack Sparrow.” Wow, what a moronic comment. If you want a movie that’s a total mockery then you can get Brand. Swapping Brand for Depp is an insult. Depp is an infinitely skilled actor while Brand is a decent comedian who only half of the U.S can tolerate.

I don’t know what critics are expecting out of these movies. I got everything I expected and more out of the film. They’ll rant and rave about how amazing Toy Story 3 was, yet pan an adventurous and highly entertaining Pirate film with Johnny Depp. Doesn’t make sense. Will the Pirates franchise ever release another film as good as the first one? I doubt it, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be a close second, which is what On Stranger Tides is. And for those critics who complained that it was too much like the other films, I disagree. There were so many aspects of this installment that set it apart from the rest. First off, the mermaids were ridiculously awesome and their scenes will take you by surprise. These are not the Daryl Hannah type of mermaid you’re accustomed to. All the excitement is accented by the outstanding musical score. I didn’t think it was possible to improve upon the rousing musical score of these films, but they did. Hans Zimmer contributes another stellar soundtrack.

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