A drunken Jersey City Councilman Steve Lipski urinated on the audience from the balcony at a Grateful Dead concert in Washington D.C on November 7th. Lipski says he’s going to stop drinking and that he considers what he did “deeply humiliating, very embarrassing” and “troubling.” Click the link above for the amusing story, one that we can add to all the other factual yet defamatory stories involving dumbass politicians from New Jersey.
Motley Crue Fest Review PNC Bank Arts Center 8/23/08
One of the stereotypes about New Jersey is that most of the guys walk around looking and talking like one of the Sopranos. It’s taken my entire life living here to finally admit that it’s not all that far fetched. Fortunately, I’m not at all reinforcing that stigma but for some reason many of the guys at last night’s Motley Crue concert WERE. Cruefest, a rock festival tour, is the creation of Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue. It made it’s stop at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ last night. This is where I finally closed my case.
If you aren’t familiar with Guidos then you can click here and here for an explanation. They are guys who overtan, over spray on their cologne, and oversweat. They also work out (take steroids), sport ridiculous blown out hair cuts, and have lame tattoos. Oh and as you can see here, they usually they dance like idiots. These guys were piss drunk and launching themselves over the rows of chairs. They kept hugging each other and checking their cell phones. It was a living breathing stereotype right before my eyes. Every time they looked at me or my girl it felt like they were raping us with their eyes. I was completely creeped out. It wasn’t just them. They seemed to be in all the rows surrounding us. If zombies ever take over Jersey or New York, they’ll most likely be Guido Zombies.
One of the problems with this shitty venue, PNC Arts Center, is that they have VIP sections that are permanently bought by certain rich folks and companies. The companies might get a string of ten seats and give the tickets away to business partners and employees etc. The real true fans who want to get a hold of these seats can’t because Joey Stugots from Staten Island has a cousin who is doing a construction job for the company who has the VIP seats. The construction guys are more apt to give a better price if they’re schmoozed with some Motley Crue tickets. That’s just a for instance. You could imagine how many different scenarios there are. But that’s how it is living in Jersey. You could even make deals with teachers, cops, and Dunkin’ Donuts employees. Everyone’s corrupt here. So what made me realize that guidos don’t belong at fucking Motley Crue concert is this:
This blazing idiot was doing the tomahawk chop, you know the one fans do at a Braves or Chiefs game? Every time there was a thumping Tommy Lee beat banging or Vince said “I Wanna see those fists” this guy breaks out his tomahawk chop. THE ENTIRE CONCERT! Talk about inappropriate. While we’re all fist pounding this guy is shaking his hips back and forth while chopping the air. Give me devil horns, give me the middle finger, or even spirit fingers…not the friggin’ tomahawk chop!?!?! You’re at a MOTLEY CRUE SHOW not at a RAVE party asshole. What a fool. Go do that dance down the shore, at the capital of guidoville. Believe it or not, we’re not all like this but it really is a shame that all the stereotypes are true. And apparently Tommy Lee was digging us as he commended that “We’re all gangstas.” He sat on the edge of the stage and had a heart to heart with us. He was shocked by the fact that the parking lot was filled with cars and trucks with their trunk opened as everyone tailgated and got bombed. I always thought all people got wasted before a concert, not just in Jersey and especially a 5-five band festival.
OK, believe it or not, now I’ll actually review the concert:
The openers, Trapt, still known for their 2002 hit “Headstrong,” released 2 albums since then and haven’t been able to replicate that success. In comparison to the bands that followed, it looks like Trapt need to find themselves more personality and a more diverse repertoire of music. I won’t discredit them because they are talented and Chris Brown is a likeable front man. They just really come off as completely generic. It’s no wonder though, since they hit the rock scene at a time when new rock bands were pretty generic. They were opening Cruefest for a reason and let’s leave it at that.
Nikki Sixx’s side band Sixx A.M are immensely talented. It’s almost as if they belong at “A Very Special Concert with the Trans Siberian Orchestra” or something. Lead Singer, Michael James is not only a fantastic, engaging, and cool looking front man, but he’s also a well known writer, producer, and musician. Nikki really lucked out when he started working with him and guitarist DJ Ashba (formerly of Beautiful Creatures.) The Sixx AM team is actually responsible for writing and producing Motley Crue’s latest album Saints of Los Angeles. Wouldn’t you think Tommy, Vince, and Mick would want to write some of the songs too? It makes me gain that much more respect for Sixx AM. The songs they performed from the Heroin Diaries are more serious, and introspective than that of the ballistic, sleazy rock Motley Crue is known for. That’s most likely due to the subject matter. The songs are based on chapters from Nikki Sixx’s book The Heroin Diaries. “Pray For Me”(video posted below) and “Life Is Beautiful” were standouts.
Papa Roach won me over. I wasn’t on the bandwagon with much of the rock scene in the late ‘90s and early 2000’s. It seemed as if rap and rock would be forever married and I grew frustrated. I wanted to like “Last Resort” and it was good song, but deep down I still yearned for at least a touch of bombastic hair metal. I wrote off Papa Roach with a lot of other rap-rock and nu-metal bands like Linkin Park. Everyone was so angry and brooding. It was like grunge but without the ripped jeans. What were they still pissed about? Papa Roach has mentioned in interviews that they don’t rap in songs anymore. According to a Wikipedia article that credit’s an interview with the Dallas Music Guide, lead singer Jacoby Shaddix says “I just want to be a rocker.” That’s all I need to hear. It was actually 2004 when I began to appreciate Papa Roach’s music with their single “Getting Away with Murder.” Since then, WWE Raw, a show that I’ve watched since its inception in 1993, named “…To Be Loved” their theme song last year. So that’s a double whammy for me. Jacoby ventured out into the audience for “Time is Running Out” and they finished up with “Last Resort.”
Some girl in the front row tossed Jacoby a pair of little black panties, so he did what a guys usual reflex is when that happens. He put them on his head and covered his mouth and nose with the “good part.” Mid-song he stops, inhales, and proclaims “Hey…these smell good!” If you’re a guy there’s a 99% chance that you’ve done that before and enjoyed it too. He’s entertaining and crazy to say the least.
Buckcherry or “Buckberry” as the PNC Bank Arts Center program refers to them as were up next. We don’t know how to rock out, and apparently we can’t spell either.
You were probably disappointed if you’re a fan from the start like me, material from Buckcherry’s first two albums have gone almost completely abandoned. Most of their performance consisted of songs from their last album 15. Even though they picked up a few new members, they’re still the raw and sexual band they established themselves as. Some highlights were their new track “Too Drunk” from their forthcoming Black Butterfly, “Next to You,” and “Crazy Bitch.” You can check out footage of their performance at our You Tube channel: www.youtube.com/thesexyarmpit.
During Tommy’s amusing Titty Cam segment, to encourage boobs to come out of hiding, he said “C’mon, this ain’t a Bon Jovi concert.” Unlike other bands such as Bon Jovi and Poison who emerged in the ’80s, Motley goes into a concert with a different mindset. They definitely want the audience to have a good time but they do what they’ve always done and that’s fuck shit up with no regard. When you see Poison they show a parental advisory warning on the screens but there’s actually no adult content. At Motley, there’s no warning but tons of explicit content! There’s naked girls on the screens and plenty of sexual situations. Instead of turning the place into a party, they want to destroy the place with their hard rock anarchy. There’s something about their music that remains edgy and dangerous til this day. It’s much like Guns N Roses Appetite for Destruction. There’s music on that album that will always sound like these guys must be wrongdoers. Parents hated Motley. Bon Jovi and Poison on the other hand were less threatening and thus more mom-friendly. Motley seemed like they’d bash through your front door wearing all their demonic gear with smoke pouring in, they’d try to bang your mom, steal all your liquor, beat the shit out of your dad, and then break anything expensive in your house. That’s Motley. If Poison and Bon Jovi came over we’d all probably gather around a bonfire in the yard and sing Kumbaya. That’s not to say that I don’t love them, cause I do! There’s just always been a different vibe running through Motley’s show and they come off as ballsier, and more focused.
Motley was on point, and LOUD! The only minor flaw lies within Vince Neil’s performance. I think Vince sounds better than he did say, 4 years ago, but obviously not as good as he did 20 years ago. There’s many instances where the audience is singing for him and other times he’ll only sing the last few words of each line. Overall though, not much has changed with Motley. Motley blasted through their signature songs with reckless abandon. They played all their classics like Kickstart my heart, Wildside, Shout at the Devil, and Dr. Feelgood. After Mick’s guitar solo, Tommy hopped in with some beats and played a few seconds of Voodoo Chile. During the band’s encore Home Sweet Home, the screens showed a montage of all vintage Crue clips.
Whenever the lights went out I squinted to see the outline of Nikki up there and I felt like it was the ‘80s all over again. He still looks basically the same even with all he’s been through. But this was no nostalgia show because The Crue was out there to prove that their new album rocks. Hearing the tracks from Saints of Los Angeles live sound just as brash and defiant as their classics. Their performances of Motherfucker of the Year and the title track SOLA blew the people (and guidos) in the packed amphitheater right onto the parkway and then gave them the finger.
Poison, Dokken, and Sebastian Bach at The PNC Bank Arts Center Review 8/12/2008
There’s only one band who puts on a live show that successfully transports you back to 1988, and that’s Poison. Their tour has been a summer tradition for years now and they take along other bands of the genre. I wasn’t even planning on going to the Poison show in Holmdel, N.J, because I’ve seen them so many times and their show doesn’t change much. As the date the got closer I knew it was going to be a blast so I caved and wound up getting tickets anyway.
Truthfully, Poison never fails to launch the audience far into the stratosphere. They give us what we expect and it’s both a pro and a con that Poison plays songs that everyone knows. There isn’t one song that people go to the bathroom for. Fallen Angel..check…Ride The Wind…check…etc. It’s worth mentioning that Poison doesn’t have many “bathroom songs” unlike when I’m watching a WWE pay per view and there’s almost always a “bathroom match.” I would like to hear some of the lesser heard songs from their best album “Look What the Cat Dragged In,” but that never happens because Poison wants you to be familiar, on your feet, and rocking out for their entire performance. From my favorite song of theirs “Look What The Cat Dragged In,” all the way to “Unskinny Bop” they rocked the PNC bank Arts Center six ways from Sunday.
What happened to the sleazy, sexual, L.A party rock Poison used to be known for? Well, as they showed last night, they still play it proudly. Unlike most bands from the ’80s hairband era, Poison’s sound hasn’t diminished one bit. Critics have always shit on Poison and other bands from that time, and it’s unfair. Who’s selling out amphitheaters every summer? Who’s gaining new fans young and old every day? “Hey Poison, Nintendo called and they want to use ‘Nothin’ But a Good Time’ for their Wii commercial…how’d ya like several million dollars for that deal?” This band is no joke and the naysayers need to realize it. How long does it take exactly to start respecting a hard working band? Pretty damn long I guess. Kiss has been rocking since 1974 and they still get no respect. It doesn’t matter, snobby critics will kneel to the God of Thunder in due time!
The Arts Center was jammed when Poison hit the stage and ripped into their set. They played all their big songs and even The Romantics “What I like About You” from their their latest album of covers called Poison’d. During the show Bret Michaels dedicated “Something To Believe In” to the troops overseas. After the song, he complimented the crowd on how in sync our hand sways were. At least we’re good for something here in Jersey! And SOLOS, we can’t forget the solos! CC’s a shredder there’s no doubt and his solo proved it, but Rikki Rockett needs to be commended for his incredible drum solo. Rikki began at his kit bashing away and then ended doing a New York street corner style beat fest while sitting on a wooden box that he tapped with his hands. The legion of people were totally into it.
A mark of Poison’s enduring popularity is the fact that Poison packed the house while openers Sebastian Bach and Dokken both played to half of the fans. Sebastian Bach is not only a local guy (who lives literally 5 minutes from the venue) but he’s also a Rock Icon in his own right. Alot of rock fans lost respect for him over the years but I like him because he’s original and he doesn’t give a fuck what people think. Serious metal fans from that time would consider Sebastian Bach more of a formidable rock force than Poison will ever be. With classic songs like “Monkey Business,” and “Youth Gone Wild,” Bach has solidified himself in rock history as one of the greatest frontmen of all rock bands. Trust me, you’d want Baz to be the lead singer of your band! Sure Bret Michaels has a pretty face, but Baz has pipes that will clothesline the shit out of any other singer in existence. Even though years have passed, he still has one of the strongest sets of vocal cords ever. If Sebastian Bach was trying out for American Idol other contestants may as well walk home because he’d annihilate them with his powerful, dominant voice.
I waltzed in and got to hear Bach’s cover of “Back in the Saddle” and kickass rendition of Skid Row’s “Here I Am.” Unfortunately, the Jersey crowd sucked for Bach! What an embarrassment, we’re in Jersey! It’s his home town and the lame crowd isn’t into it. Unless the laymen aren’t hearing the huge hits like 18 and life, and Youth Gone Wild they sit there like humps. “C’mon get your fat asses outta those seats!” Bach yelled. This guy is pouring his heart and lungs out for us to be entertained and these uptight Jersey folks are there because they think Bret Michaels is hot…you know, “That guy from Rock of Love.” (What a shame that he’s now more popular for being on a cheesy reality show on VH1 no less.) One of the highlights of Baz’s performance was “Love is a Bitchslap” from hist latest album Angel Down. Oh yeah, and when gave a big FUCK YOU to all the people who were still in the parking lot!!!
Dokken, who was bestowed with the honor of actually opening for Poison, showed that they need some motivation juice. That Red Bull can that Don Dokken was sipping from didn’t prove to be enough to make Dokken play with the gall that Sebastian Bach did. I was looking forward to Rokken with Dokken, and they didn’t blow me away at all. Don Dokken couldn’t hit those high notes especially in Dream Warriors. Overall though, they were decent. I don’t think people realize just how many great songs Dokken has. They played so many of them last night including “In My Dreams,” “Tooth and Nail,” and “Kiss of Death.” Let’s be fair though, Dokken has been rokken for over 30 years! Give them credit that there still making new material. Or should I say Don Dokken, since he’s the only original member. I’ll definitely tell you that it was fun as hell getting to say Bach and Dokken, Bachen with Dokken, Dokken with Bachen…etc. I find I say all kinds of wacky things when I’m loaded!
You can call it a throwback or nostalgia but Poison still rocks, I just wish they’d release some new music because they’re more than capable of scoring a modern hit. If you ever have the opportunity to see a Poison show and you’re having second thoughts…by all means GO! If you were around since the days of the Glam Slam Metal Jam then you know what I’m talking about!
**Be sure to check out my friend and blogger Hell On High Heels who passionately reports on hairbands, rock shows, and reviews music HERE. Join her on her quest to bring back guitar solos!
Bon Jovi Madison Square Garden Review July 14th 2008
I’ve said before that it doesn’t seem possible for Bon Jovi to top themselves. They won’t leave the arena until they amaze the entire crowd. Throughout one of their concerts you’ll feel nostalgic, get lovey dovey, jump out of your seat, and have your jaw drop open from Richie’s guitar solos.
At MSG last night the set list differed greatly from the Central Park show. The concert was kicked off with “Lost Highway,” the title track from their latest album and a song that Jon Bon Jovi considers one of the best he’s ever written. The band also performed some songs I didn’t expect to hear like “Captain Crash,” and “On Any Other Day” from Lost Highway.
Any critic out there who likes to throw Bon Jovi to the wolves is clearly taking that stance to get a rise out of people. No, not everyone has to like Bon Jovi, but to say that they are untalented or pop fluff isn’t accurate.
An immediate rebuttal exists in a song off of their 1992 album Keep the Faith called “Dry County.” It’s a dramatic, intricate, and often times dark song. It’s definitely an outcast amongst the of Bon Jovi library due to it’s atmosphere and length (9:52). During this track the whole band gets to show off their chops. Here’s some of my shoddy camerawork of this performance. I used my Sony still camera, which I hate, but it’s all that I had with me. It’s also my first time uploading anything to You Tube! After I uploaded I discovered there’s about 30 of the same clips. It was a good first try though!
I knew I would enjoy seeing Bon Jovi at MSG way more than in Central Park. Not only was the sound electrifying but MSG is my favorite venue to see any event especially a concert. The place goes bananas and you can feel the rumbling and shrieks of the crowd. Toward the end of the show they blasted into a hard rocking performance of “Have a Nice Day,” and then a song I renamed “It’s Allright” a.k.a the New Jersey Tourism song “Who Says You Can’t Go Home.” The night ended with their classics: “Wanted Dead or Alive,” and a rousing rendition of “Livin’ on a Prayer.”
I won’t blow smoke up your ass, I don’t understand why Bon Jovi feels the need to cover Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah.” Nothing against Buckley but I’m not going to go along with the crowd who’s just getting into that song because Jon decided he wanted to start covering it. Bon Jovi has so many songs that they could be doing in place of a cover song. What about the stuff that brought them to the party? HEY Bon Jovi…Why do you guys forget that you used to play “hard rock?” Don’t tell me cause the girls don’t want to hear it because that’s a cop out. No matter how much I love the band I still can’t stand the fact that they won’t play songs that myself and many other fans desperately want to hear. Here’s just a few:
I Believe, She Don’t Know Me, Roulette, Breakout, 99 In the shade, In and out of love, King of the Mountain, Only Lonely, Tokyo Road, Something for the Pain, Hey God. I’m sure they’ve done some of these songs throughout the last few years somewhere in the world but I didn’t get to see them.
The All American Rejects opened the show. I’ve always been a fan of AAR and they performed at MSG with ease. They were appreciative of the chance to open for some of their idols and they were excited to be playing MSG for the first time. Along with their hits like “Swing, Swing,” “Dirty little Secret,” and “It Ends Tonight,” they premiered a new song “Mona Lisa,” which sounds like it will be all over the place once the album gets released in September. Appropriately they finished with “Move Along,” and they did just that as they made way for Bon Jovi.
Bon Jovi: Free Concert in Central Park Review
Bon Jovi has done pretty much everything a band can do but they didn’t play Central Park until Saturday July 12th. In honor of the MLB’s all-star week Bon Jovi decided to put on a free concert on the Great Lawn in New York City’s Central Park. It was rumored that there’d be close to 60,000 fans in attendance so I knew we’d have a hell of a time getting into the park. I’m not one who enjoys hassle or complications. I enjoy being laid back rather than rushing from Penn Station to hop on the subway to Central Park. Then from there we had to get checked, scanned, and frisked several times and wait in numerous lines. By the time we got into the audience area there weren’t too many people there but the ones that were there were relaxing on towels they brought. I didn’t think to bring a towel or a blanket and neither did anyone I went with. That was the least of my problems. It was only 3:00 pm, so we had another 5 hours to wait until Bon Jovi took the stage. I was betting on them not starting on time but they were in a public park so the rules were a little bit more tight. Go on at 8 and get off the stage at 10 pm you New Jersey rebel rousers!
Stone Temple Pilots at the PNC Bank Arts Center Review 5/31/08
With all his Jagger-esque strutting, and hair streaked glowing pink, you would never have guessed that Scott Weiland was a high school football player. On the other hand, when you hear him slur incoherent song introductions it’s easy to guess that this man has had and possibly still has a drug problem. Fresh off his ousting as lead singer of Velvet Revolver, Scott Weiland joined his former band mates for a Stone Temple Pilots reunion tour. Tonight, their show stopped here in Holmdel N.J at the PNC Bank Arts Center, a dreaded venue for us locals. Parking is free, although you need to hop on a school bus that takes you all the way up the hill and through the woods to the venue. Want to take a leak? Good luck. Should’ve pissed in the woods while you were tailgating! There’s 2 sets of bathrooms and a couple of porto-johns, and each of the lines are a quarter of a mile long.
Managing to look past all the negatives about the amphitheater, it was sort of a homecoming for brothers Dean DeLeo (guitarist) and Robert DeLeo (bassist) who hail from N.J (Glen Ridge to be exact, which is still about an hour north of the PNC Bank Arts Center.) The crowd was getting anxious after the band took an hour and a half to come on stage and start their set. Trust me, you get a little stir crazy when the only entertainment you have is watching people’s inane text messages scroll across the screens. (“I brought my bong in and didn’t get caught,” “Does anyone have papers?” “Scream if you want Metallica to tour the United States,” “There is water at the bottom of the ocean,” it seemed that one person texted the entire Talking Heads Once in a Lifetime song, “Splitcase,” a band reviewed here at the Sexy Armpit and last but not least “The Sexy Armpit loves you” of course I have no idea who sent that one in…)
The concert seemed to build up steam the longer it went on. I can’t understand why they opened this show with “Big Empty.” It’s one of my favorite tracks, but it’s fairly mellow and not a good way to kick off a show. Maybe it was their plan to start off slow and ease into it. Come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea…I’ll keep that in mind. The band sounded great, albeit a little sluggish perhaps. Ever since their appearance on Jimmy Kimmel it seemed they were playing some of the tracks a bit slower. It’s possible they’re doing it to accommodate Weiland if his singing hasn’t been up to snuff.
Long time fans of STP would not be disappointed with their song choice. They performed all of their hits and a handful of lesser heard tracks. The set list is ever changing since their website is letting fans vote for songs they would like to hear at the specific show they’re attending. We got to hear it all from “Down,” to “Trippin’ on a Hole in a Paper Heart.” I would’ve liked to have heard some of my favorites like “Hollywood Bitch,” and “Silvergun Superman,” but no such luck. Highlights for me included their classic songs like “Vasoline” and “Creep.” Not just because it’s a huge song of theirs but I think “Plush” sounded the tightest and most crisp out of all the songs performed. It was played in the middle of the setlist so it really seemed like the pinnacle of the show. I enjoyed the DeLeo brothers cover of the O’Jays “For the Love of Money.” but only wished Scott would’ve jumped in and started singing. It’s the type of song you wouldn’t expect them to play and that’s exactly why I dug it. All the shows on the tour have been wrapping with “Dead and Bloated.” Another odd choice for their only encore and last song.
Weiland is a dynamic front man but I must say, he seemed way more amped up when he was onstage with Velvet Revolver. He seemed like he was having a blast with Slash and all the rock riffs. Maybe it was the drugs? Now during this STP reunion he’s in some kind of a funk. Aside from a few steps of his Jagger dancing he seemed like he was on ambien.
There’s no question that STP made a big impact on rock music. They’ll always own their chunk of rock history but the amplifications of their reunion haven’t reached the magnitude I thought they might have. There’s a lot of fans out there, myself included, who are still pissed off about Weiland leaving Velvet Revolver. I don’t have much doubt that VR will continue on successfully but will STP? They’re working on a new CD, but shouldn’t they have released a new single to coincide with their reunion tour?