Pilgrimage to the store on the Black Friday before Survivor Series

It’s pretty crazy that Thanksgiving is just about a week away. I know it’s been said a million times before but Thanksgiving is really just an afterthought. I feel bad for the Holiday. When I was a kid there was so much more meaning to Thanksgiving. It stood on its own more than it does now. It had more personality. Nowadays it seems that the capitalism and the Christmas holiday have stole some of Thanksgiving’s thunder. What a shame! I’ve been seeing Christmas commercials for weeks now. The day after Thanksgiving we are officially in the Christmas season, they won’t let you wait til you digest your freakin 20 lb. turkey! I remember the days of making pilgrim hats out of cardboard in school, and learning about crops that Native Americans cultivated, and of course WATCHING SURVIVOR SERIES!!!

Yes, the WWE (then WWF) and Thanksgiving used to go hand in hand. They had a steady relationship for many years when I was growing up. The Survivor Series was known as the “Thanksgiving Tradition.” It was pretty cool because none of the Pay Per View events were associated with a Holiday on a consistent basis. This gave us fans double the reason to look forward to November. To build up the excitement, each week they ran the Survivor Series Report which kept us updated on the card and what new matches would take place. The anticipation was ridiculous especially when you are young kid. It was so much fun to have the WWE event and the big family gathering to look forward to each year. They just don’t do it like they used to. This year Thanksgiving is on Thursday and Survivor Series isn’t until Sunday. I can’t stand that the PPV’s are on Sundays, I’d much rather Friday or Saturday. I guess they figure people are more apt to watch TV then go out on a Sunday night. Regardless, the Thanksgiving Holiday needs to MAN UP! I’m looking forward to the event either way.

Remember people – you have 24 hours on November 23rd to give thanks. Once it hits the 24th your window of opportunity to offer your thanks is done so make it count. If you really want to thank Beyonce for being your inspirational leader then by all means do so but don’t forget that if you keep wasting time thanking people you might not be able to make it to the stores on Black Friday at 3 AM for the crazy insane sales. Don’t be shutout.

I mean these savings are out of this world. Forget 3 AM, be there at midnight. You’ll get $3 DVD players and it’ll come with a free couch. You’ll wait on line for 7 hours and 2 people will get their hands on the coveted PS3 even though everyone on line had a ticket. Somewhere when you lost feeling in your face because of the frigid cold you missed the store associate yelling out that they only had 2 PS3 units to sell. Then of course you need to buy that new ironing board because they’re throwing in a free meat and cheese set and Aunty Helen really loves that shit. At one of the stores you can get an entertainment center with a free surround sound system AND they’ll pay off the rest of your mortgage. I hear even Quick Check and Hess Express are blowing out boxes of cigarettes for half off so you can stuff people’s stockings. This year the bigger stores are even setting up a ring in the middle of the stores so the customers can solve all of their fighting and bickering about who got the last dinosapien. Fran from Old Bridge said she had her pinky on the box before Lee-Ann from Staten Island ripped it from her clutches so little Giacomo can have a swell Christmas this year.
FRAN: “My son loves the robo dinasours, he’s crazy about them.”
Lee-Ann: “Fuck him, yaw a fuckin’ whooore… the DINOSAPIEN IS MINE BITCH, let’s solve this in the ring, matta a fact it’s now the fuckin’ Surviva Series.”
Fuck all these stores and the freaks that go out on Black Friday. Stay home and sleep you idiots!!!