Every day in Hoboken is a big drunkfest, so I bet Hoboken will transform into one big geyser of puke on St. Patrick’s Day. It was that exact reason why I did not attend The St. Patrick’s Parade in Hoboken on March 6th. There’s too many people acting like idiots and I have a feeling I would have wound up getting angry and turning green like The Incredible Hulk. Where do you think we are, Cancun? Join me as I suck the life out of St.Patrick’s Day.
The St. Patty’s day parade in Hoboken and St.Patrick’s Day in general is another excuse to drink heavily and wear my least favorite color. I don’t care if I sound like a party pooper, but the holiday never appealed to me. When I was a kid I was fond of the Main Street Electrical Parade in Disneyland, but, for the most part, I’m not really a fan of parades unless they involve The Joker and free money. Maybe if Lucky the Leprechaun personally knocked on my door with a few of his green string bikini clad leperhoe’s bearing gifts such as a lifetime supply of Lucky Charms awaiting me in an 18 wheeler outside then perhaps I would have more of an affinity towards the 17th of March. By the way, did I mention that a 16 oz. Shamrock Shake at McDonald’s contains 550 calories and 50 milligrams of cholesterol? When they concoct a healthier version maybe I’ll get excited for the perennial frozen treat.
It seems that the St. Patty’s parade in Hoboken is held just so the city can collect money. It’s another occasion for buzzkillers, err, I mean cops to hand out tons of tickets. An NJ.com article, 555 ticketed in Hoboken, 25 arrested St.Pat’s Day, was published a week after the parade took place and details the huge monetary loss from hosting the event. According to the story written by Mark G.Maurer, the cost of the parade “exceeded $125,000.”
Sure, public safety is paramount, but recouping at least a percentage of the wads of cash was also high on the city’s priority list. The entire police force was on duty as they awarded 476 summonses, some for open containers, jaywalking, disorderly house parties, and 41 of the instances were for public urination! Why do I even want to go to a parade where the streets are filled with walking disasters who are puking and pissing all over the streets? No wonder New Jersey gets made fun of all the time.