I sacrificed watching Entourage last night to check out A&E’s The Two Coreys. In sum, Haim is really dysfunctional and Feldman is totally whipped by his raspy voiced, domineering, vegetarian girlfriend. Watching them at a total opposite point in life than they were in the ‘80s actually makes me hope for the best for them. Haim talked to the audience about their “comeback” and sadly their second coming probably isn’t happening anytime soon. Hold on a second though, none of us thought Rocky could come back and stand a chance against Mason The Line Dixon now did we? Stranger things have happened in Hollywood especially from one half of the Frog Brothers and the guy with frosted hair who had a risqué Rob Lowe poster on his wall.
As I watched Transformers in the new AMC theaters in Linden, NJ I couldn’t help but feel like it reminded me of an ’80s movie. Not for any glaring reason but for a subtle vibe running through the film, after all it’s based off of an ’80s toy line. It definitely wasn’t blatant but consider the mainstream schlock that Michael Bay is typically responsible for. When making such generic blockbusters it’s not hard to make a movie that gives the impression that it could have been made in a different decade. The main reason why I got that ’80s vibe was surprisingly Shia LaBeouf’s kick-ass performance. You could pick up on his versatility and his comedic timing was dead on. Here’s where you’re all going to abruptly jerk your steering wheel to the right to dodge the oncoming unexpected comparison to yes…Corey Haim and Corey Feldman: the two guys that the entire world may tie back to. I’m in no way saying that we can compare a rising star like Shia LaBeouf, the guy who’s already starring in Indiana Jones 4, to “washed up” guys like the Two Coreys. What I am saying is that people should think twice before completely lambasting them.
So what, they got caught up with drugs and bad reality shows. They are human, and they just so happen to have been the same guys who probably would have been cast in Transformers if it was made into a live action movie in 1987. It might pain you to think about it, but it’s true. Nothing that LaBeouf did was new. We could have easily taken either of the Coreys circa 1987 and inserted them in that role and they would have been equally as comedic and considering inflation, equally as successful at the box office.
Perhaps they’ve had a run of bad luck, but America is never satisfied with the abundant amount of nostalgia that gets spat back out at them. Once you think you had it to the gills with the Surreal Life, Flavor of Love, and Scott Baio programming it’s time for more! Knock the Coreys all you want but clearly there is a demand for them. You might try to consider the impression that movies like License to Drive and The Lost Boys left on you. Let’s not forget movies like The Goonies, The Burbs, and Dream a little Dream. The Coreys were on magazines and wallpapered every girls bedroom at the time. And to the guys: don’t act like you didn’t think Corey Feldman was friggin‘ hysterical in every movie he did. He was definitely a guy who we could all relate to. Think of him in Friday the 13th part 4. How many of us were exactly like that when we were young? How about Haim in License to Drive? It’s his best role and evokes very similar feelings we all had when we hit 17 and were about to hit the road with our new licenses. All I’m saying is back off already! The Two Coreys contribution to the world has been solidified a long time ago. If producers, advertisers, and public demand deem it necessary to supply us with another dose of the Coreys, then so be it!