The Muthaf—ing Marshmallow Pals Are Back!


Right now it’s a marshmallow world in New Jersey thanks to the mild winter storm that passed through over the last couple of days. Not too long ago, during Halloween, my world was filled with actual marshmallows. I made a few new friends who called themselves Marshmallow pals. These pals were a freaky gang of mooshy ghouls including the likes of Dracula, Frankenstein, a pumpkin, and a witch. Recently while cruising the aisles of Toys R Us I gained a few more pals, but this time they came straight from the North Pole.


This set of Frankford Marshmallow Pals features Santa, Mrs. Claus, Frosty, and Santa’s Elf.

I don’t consider myself a full fledged grinch, but I did what needed to be done to things that are so sickeningly cute and festive.


I commited mass marshmallow murder.

I love how a gnarled hunk of Mrs. Claus’ remaining head remains atop her neck. That’s what she gets for offering me home made gingerbread cookies. bitch.

Merry Christmas!