He’s Dolph Ziggler and He Needs Google Maps

WWE Superstar Dolph Ziggler, who formerly paraded around as a male cheerleader in The Spirit Squad, has proven himself a capable singles competitor on Friday Night Smackdown. Ziggler impressed me so much in such a short time and has soared high above another WWE Superstar who was supposedly destined for mega-success. Who is that other wrestler? Why it’s…(mic drops from rafters)…MISSSTTTEEERRR KENNEDY! Kennedy! Drawing comparisons between these two comes to me as easy as vomit travels up into my mouth whenever I see Vicki Guerrero.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Dolph Ziggler
It would be hard to determine a winner in this bout since both of these WWE Superstars sport bleach blonde hair, elicit strong crowd reactions, and introduce themselves repeatedly. In this competition, Kennedy excels thanks to the experience factor and cemented fan base, while Ziggler edges out Kennedy in mat versatility and ability to draw heat from the crowd. Ziggler’s determination will skyrocket him to the top of the WWE, but not before he pays his dues in matches against jobbers like M.V.P. who’s been riding off the fame of View host Sherri Shepard. Ziggler doesn’t need Joy Behar to get people to notice him, he’ll grab your attention whether you like it or not.

In this clip from WWE Smackdown, Ziggler refers to New York as New Jersey, “…I am gonna win the United States Championship tonight, right here in NEW JERSEY!” This is the ultimate sin to the ears of New Yorkers, especially those in the crowd packed into the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden! May I call that a “Ziggler Zinger?” Oh, but of course we Jersey folks have to suck it up every single time a band or a singer shouts “How you doin’ New York?” when they’re in The Meadowlands in East Rutherford, NJ and when that same band is performing in Atlantic City greeting the crowd with a geographically erroneous “What’s up Philadelphia?” Why does Jersey always get the shaft? Right on Dolph Ziggler, you tell ’em where they’re at! After his “Hi, my name is Dolph Ziggler” intro, he should add a “What’s up New Jersey?” to his gimmick regardless of what state he’s wrestling in. Referring to all the states as New Jersey seems to be the supreme slap in the face. Regardless of good or bad press, thanks for name dropping NJ, Ziggler, we’ll take it!