eBay Has Your NJ Zombie Hunting Permits

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You all better have your zombie hunting permits ready. It’s only a matter of weeks before literally all of New Jersey is taken over by zombies. I’m not kidding. In October we’re gonna have zombies down south in Atlantic City, and zombies up the Parkway in Asbury Park. Even though they are slow, they will begin to permeate neighborhoods. Considering the Guinness World Record for zombies will be broken this year, you better have your shit together. I listed the seller names of each one of these so you can look them up on eBay if you’re are so inclined.

If you’re seriously considering staying in Jersey when zombies roam the state, you might want to start getting prepared now. I’ve got you covered and did all the research for your ass. You’d think a local gun shop or even a town hall might be registering people for zombie hunting licenses, right? Actually no, in a surprising twist, eBay is your one stop shop for New Jersey zombie hunting permits. Once in a great while eBay does come through for something. I can’t guarantee they’re legit, but I can guarantee that you’ll seem either ever so slightly more skilled at killing zombies, or you’ll just look like a total dork with bullets whizzing passed your head. Who cares if they’re counterfeit anyway? What you really need is a badass gun, or enough guns to necessitate a rack if you catch my meaning.

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If you want to seem more official to the oncoming zombies, then you might want to opt for the “State of New Jersey Certified Zombie Hunter embroidered patch.” From at least several feet away this one will make you look like you’re a decorated soldier or P.O.W (Probably Obsessed w/ Walking Dead.) Good luck out there. In the end, the zombies don’t give a crap what kind of patches or permits you have on.

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