There’s an awesome vibe during Christmas time, there’s no question about that. The only thing that could make it better is if Halloween was also in December. Obviously that’s never going to happen (unless someone makes a Facebook page), but the kickoff of a brand new horror convention in Atlantic City is a damn good alternative in the mean time. For those of you who were unable to make it to the BIZARRE A.C EXPO, let me tell you all about it. You want the long winded version or the unfulfilling, super quick version? Just like you might feel like you’ve been swindled after you lose a ton of money in A.C, I could never screw you out of an elaborate, overly detailed account of my trip to the first ever Bizarre Expo.
Just a little point of reference. It will take you 3 1/2 hours to get from the highest point in New Jersey (aptly named High Point) to the lowest (Cape May.) To me, that’s not really that long considering it could take you about 5 1/2 hours to drive across the entire state of Pennsylvania. In sum, I consider myself lucky because even though Atlantic City isn’t in my backyard, it’s still close enough that Miss Sexy Armpit and I sometimes head there a few times per month. Ironically, if there was a Sexy Armpit trading card, gambling would not be an ability listed in my character description on the back. Fortunately, there’s a lot of cool stuff to do down in A.C beyond making deposits.
First, I consider the drive an integral part of my trips there. Often, the ride down the Garden State Parkway is a highlight of the excursion for me. I enjoy driving, especially when the destination isn’t work. I also love playing my music, bullshitting about nonsense, and guzzling a Monster or something caffeinated that will send me soaring way too early and crash before midnight. I need to stop doing that.
This time I rolled out early to make sure I was there roughly on time. We had an impending snowstorm on the way and I didn’t want to get stuck in it. Was it stupid of me to even attempt the drive to A.C with the threat of anywhere from 2 – 6 inches of snow? Probably, but to those who know me, I’m pretty much known for doing ridiculous things.
It was smooth sailing for the first 20 minutes. Some people enjoy actually sailing, like on water. Me, I prefer roads. Where we’re going there always has to be roads. I prefer driving over every other form of transportation.
I had my Christmas tunes on and I got into my zone. It’s possible I was in the actual danger zone, but I’m not 100% sure. Moments later, I confirmed that it was indeed the danger zone when I began to see all the cars ahead of me come to a complete stop. I knew there must’ve been an accident. As I passed the scene, there was literally 3 fire trucks, multiple other safety vehicles, and at least 4 police cars. What I saw wasn’t pretty.
There was a fancy black BMW with black rims crunched up into oblivion upside down and facing the opposite way of traffic. I immediately knew that whoever was in the car has to be dead or very seriously injured. This seemed so eerie considering the nature of the recent auto related death of actor Paul Walker. There’s been many times that I’ve driven passed an accident and never thought a thing of it afterward. This time, I took to Google to check it out, and an article on NJ.com proved to be surreal. It confirmed that the driver was killed. I reassured myself that it was Saturday the 14th, not the day prior.
I bet you you’re saying “Wow, I wasn’t expecting this post to become such a downer.” But, you like reality TV, no? It will get better, trust me. Just take this moment to remember how good you have it. You always hear that life is short, and for this unfortunate person, he won’t be seeing his family or loved ones for the holidays. So make the rest of this month count and spend as much time with your family as you can.
After exiting the danger zone I veered into the introspection zone as I quite often do while driving. Next thing I knew, I was on the Atlantic City Expressway and headed to the Tropicana. To summarize, I didn’t see a lot of people on the Parkway nor on the A.C Expressway. For a Saturday this was strange, but it was still before noon. And the snow was apparently still a thing.
WILL I MAKE IT TO THE TROPICANA FOR THE BIZARRE A.C EXPO? COME BACK TOMORROW TO FIND OUT! SAME SEXY ARMPIT BLOG SAME SEXYARMPIT DOT COM!!!