Classic WWF/WWE Event Cards from New Jersey #5

WWF Summer Sizzler Tour

Have you ever seen an interrogation scene? You know that sort of scene where the hard edged, no nonsense detective won’t let up and shines that excessively bright dangling light down at the suspects face? Well, that would be the serious method of finding out whodunit. The other way to find the culprit would be to hire Leslie Nielsen, no, not Frank Drebin, but the actor who starred in Police Squad, and Naked Gun and about 200 other movies and TV shows. What kind of missing person would warrant a Vince McMahon making a phone call to Leslie Nielsen? The Undertaker, of course! (BTW, Nielsen is also available for finding lost astromech droids)

Back in 1994, one the WWF writers thought it would be cute to have various fans and celebrities claim that they spotted The Undertaker. Taker had been out since the Royal Rumble earlier that year when Yokozuna beat him at his own game, a casket match. After getting sealed into a double wide, double deep casket meant for the the 640 lb. Yokozuna, Taker soared up through the rafters to WWF heaven, or, vacation time as it’s commonly known to the nation’s work force. The Undertaker wound up facing The Undertaker at Summerslam 1994, and it wasn’t as bad as it sounds, and it’s nothing compared the shit the WWE regurgitates nowadays.

The Summer Sizzler Tour made a stop at the Meadowlands Arena on August 27, 1994, a couple of days before the biggest Pay Per View of the summer. Considering the climate in the wrestling world right now, it’s definitely interesting to look back on this card.

Bret “Hitman” Hart, who recently made a return to the WWE, tagged up with Razor Ramon, a.k.a Scott Hall, who is in TNA now, and in desperate need of some of that ICOPRO that they were always promoting back then, even on this list of matches! They took on the late Owen Hart and Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, Bret’s former partner whose daughter Natalya presently manages the Hart Dynasty in WWE. You getting all this so far? This match was set to amp up the interest in the Bret/Owen feud and get the audience to buy the PPV. One of half of the main event at Summerslam 1994 was Bret facing his brother Owen in a steel cage. Hitman won the match and afterward he got beat up by Owen and Anvil.

I missed Two Dudes with Attitudes (Diesel (Kevin Nash) and Shawn Michaels) win the tag titles by one night. The night after this NJ house show they won the tag belts from The Headshrinkers and went into Summerslam with the gold.

Not much has changed in the WWF’s women’s division. It wasn’t as exciting as the Wendi Richter days after they brought it back in 1993. Around this time, WWF pushed the hell out of Alundra Blayze and they threw every female that was willing to compete at her. The freaky and formidable Japanese wrestler Bull Nakano challenged Blayze here. Apparently Nakano is a professional golfer now. It was just a natural progression I suppose.

There’s no question that the WWF pulls some atrocious crap out of their asses and this house show was no exception. Mabel aka Viscera teamed with Doink the Clown to take on Jeff Jarrett and the late great Jersey icon Bam Bam Bigelow. Talk about burying talent! Did they really have to embarrass Jarrett and Bigelow like this? I’ve been trying to erase the memory of Mabel’s purple and gold jumpsuit every since Men on a Mission first debuted in WWF.

As for the other garbage on this card, Bob Holly took on one half of the Quebecers, Pierre, who also wrestled as a pirate named Jean Pierre LaFitte. The only thing that could be said about this match is that The Bushwackers vs. The Heavenly Bodies was more entertaining. The opening match featured Adam Bomb vs. Kwang, the green mist spitting masked ninja or otherwise known as Savio Vega. I’ve said it plenty of times here on The Sexy Armpit, and that is that Adam Bomb was cool. I don’t care. He hailed from Three Mile Island!!! If only I had one of those little bomb squad football missiles he used to throw out to his Bomb Squad Members. That would’ve made The Summer Sizzler Tour a worthwhile outing.                      

Classic WWF/WWE Event Cards from New Jersey #4


Sundays depress me. I know Sunday is a religious day and it’s supposedly reserved for rest and relaxation (lazy Sunday Mr. Pibb & Red Vines=crazy delicious). But, ever since I was a kid, I was never a fan of Sundays because I knew I had to go to school the next day. Even now, Sunday signals the end of an all too short weekend. Of course, I preferred going to wrestling events on a Saturday if possible, but if completely unavoidable, I was game for driving up to the Meadowlands for a WWE event. Oh, who am I kidding? I called in sick to school so I could go with my cousin and our moms to the Wrestlemania 11 press conference in New York City. Every day is a good wrestling day. Today we’ll take a look at the event card from the WWE event that took place on Sunday December 12, 1993 at the Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, NJ.

After his stint as “The Narcissist,” an injury forced Luger to get a metal plate implanted in his forearm. Surgery lead to Luger’s return to the ring, touting a new finisher – the running forearm smash. The WWF shaped Luger into an All-American hero, even slamming the 600 lb Yokozuna on the USS Intrepid. From then on Luger seemed to have been strictly pitted against “foreign” opponents. Much like Smackdown’s Russian monster Vladimir Koslov, Ludvig Borga was a Finnish powerhouse. What do they both have in common? They’re both boring as hell in the ring and lack versatility. Not to say that big, boring guys like them don’t serve a purpose, because they do. There’s always a need for heels, especially international ones!

The Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Crush feud was still raging since Crush’s heel turn. Savage and Crush were to mend their differences on MNR but it lead to Crush turning on Savage and then pressing him over his head and dropping the Macho Man’s face onto the steel barricade. Savage supposedly lacerated his tongue which sparked their heat up big time. Crush joined Mr. Fuji’s stable which also consisted of the late Yokozuna. Crush was also under the tutelage of Fuji during his time as the 3rd member of Demolition. Savage and the late Crush were actually good friends outside of the ring which translated into their great ring chemistry.

R.I.P Bam Bam

Believe it or not, I always liked Adam Bomb even though his “nuclear” gimmick was fairly droll. (Can you tell that I was a member of the “Bomb Squad?”) Bomb was better as a powerful heel, and when compared to guys like Borga, Adam Bomb was a ring impresario (not saying much). You’ll probably kill me for writing it, but I enjoyed NJ native Scott Levy’s work as Johnny Polo more than his persona as Raven. Presently, I yearn for the days of managers with a big personality and Polo was one that recalled the ’80s state of manager greatness. Polo was also funny on the mic when commentating matches. Nowadays, WWE lacks colorful personalities and Polo was exactly that. Ramon (Scott Hall) was unstoppable at the time. Even though he was a veteran in the business, he was basically new to the WWF except for a short run in the ’80s. After the 1-2-3 Kid beat Razor Ramon in a fluke on MNR, they teamed up a few times foreshadowing “The Clique.” It may have seemed like an odd tag team match but at the time, I remember this being really exciting match. The Kid matched up well with Polo while Razor and Bomb was even a decent matchup on it’s own.

A serviceable match, Jannetty vs. IRS held the crowd’s attention. IRS was a master at generating heat with the crowd. He grabbed the mic and started ripping into New Jersey, the swamps the Meadowlands were built on, and how we all evade our taxes. After a career in Michaels’ shadow, it was almost impossible for Jannetty to rise above his former partner. Jannetty was always an excellent performer with superior skills and awesome charisma. It’s a shame that his career didn’t take off like Michaels’ did. It’s also good to see Mike Rotunda making occasional appearances as I.R.S in the last few years since he’s working as a road agent for the WWE.

When M.O.M promos were being shown each week during WWF programming I doubt viewers had any clue they’d show up wearing glittery purple outfits. In video montages, Men on a Mission seemed liked they would have way more of an edge, sort of in the same vein as Cryme Tyme. Prior to their WWF stint they worked as heels, but M.O.M wound up debuting in the WWF as a far different team. With their rapping manager Oscar, Mable, and Mo were a consistent part of WWF TV for a few years. Mabel returned to the WWE and eventually became Viscera and subsequently, Big Daddy V before being released.

Virgil vs. Rick the Model Martel. Not much to say about this one, but I still maintain that Virgil needs to get his ass back into a WWE ring to take revenge on DiBiase by beating his son.

Overall, the WWF was far from experiencing a renaissance, but it remained entertaining. I have so many fond memories of the years prior to the “attitude” era. In the mid to late ‘90s, WWF house shows in NJ had low attendance and on this night, the Meadowlands was only a little more than half filled.