Bubba Shelby made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He proposed a trade, I accepted. He got a few action figures, and I got THIS:
For those who enjoy critiquing art, this brilliant piece depicts me spanking a cute little Jersey girl (and we know that thanks to her panties) with a New Jersey shaped paddle. Having a custom piece of art created for me is infinitely cooler than owning a few action figures that would probably have collected dust otherwise. Eric Stettmeier aka Bubba Shelby used the idea that I had and completely took it to the next level of hilarity. If I had a mantle I would hang it above it and look at it fondly. Since I am unfortunately sans mantle, it’ll find its way into a frame and onto one of my walls where it will be appreciated by all who pass. Take a look at more of Bubba Shelby’s art here at his website, and don’t hesitate to contact him if you need to commission a piece like this for YOUR site!
For those of you who are unaware, Eric also runs one of the most awesome toy blogs: Toyriffic. It’s been a daily click for me for a couple of years now, so head over there for posts about action figures, Hot Wheels, Legos, and more.
This just in… The Eternian Royal Guard has just released new information about another so-called “Master of the Universe” who has come under police scrutiny at the moment. Known previously to the masses as simply Clamp Champ, this dangerous sex offender has been a wanted criminal for 20 years. As if it needs to be said, his calling card is his superior clamping abilities. Through public Eternian documents it’s been discovered that Clamp Champ dropped his first name which was originally “nipple.” Nipple Clamp Champ, as he was known, was regularly found in the seedy sex clubs of Eternia.
His perverse habits of clamping onto Eternian women’s nipples and not letting go gave him a reputation for being quite the ladies man. Here’s where the story goes south. Nipple went off the deep end and began to clamp onto women’s buttcheeks, and even whole entire breasts. His death grip would leave nasty indentations on the women’s private areas which made them extremely perturbed. This landed him in hot water with the Eternian Royal guard. In 1986, they red flagged Nipple and put out an APB for him and since then he’s been wanted by the government. A recent investigation claims Clamp Champ makes replicas of his mechanical clamper and sells them on fetish websites. If you are compelled to buy a nipple clamping mechanism for whatever reason, please think twice as you may be buying from an unsavory fellow.
WARNING: Clamp Champ has also been known as “Nip the clamper”, “Reginald”, and “Silly Bitch.”
WARNING: If he does come in contact with you, he WILL attempt to clamp onto your nipples or put a deathlock on your buttocks with his clamper. If you see this man of hear of his whereabouts please contact your local police.