The Dirty Pearls Record Release Party, May 5th 2012

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebptLYZRiwo?rel=0]

Enchiladas can be eaten all freaking year, so I opted for some Rock and Roll instead. 2012’s Cinco De Mayo, a night usually reserved for chips and salsa and doing tequila shots off muffin tops, will go down as a major milestone for New York City’s prodigious party bringers The Dirty Pearls.

In his writings, Nostradamus once prophesied that there would one day be a mass of people who will experience full-length phonic exhilaration at the hands of five defiled gems. Ages later, actually, as of last night, the prophecy has come true. The five defiled gems Nostradamus spoke of were The Dirty Pearls and the full-length record finally came. Okay so Nostradamus didn’t predict any of that, but lead singer Tommy London has been promising a full length record for quite a long time and now it’s finally available! On Saturday night, the band celebrated the culmination of all their studio work with a huge concert at The Gramercy Theatre. London described the album to the packed house as “…our f*cking Chinese Democracy…but it actually sounds good.” It was a big night for The Dirty Pearls and I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Not only did I try to squelch my insatiable lust for Mexican cuisine all night, but I was also missing Eli Manning hosting Saturday Night Live. See, Rock and Roll is all about sacrifice my friends…and DVR’ing shit. Only the hard working bands were playing out that night, all the others were stuffing their face with quesadillas and mainlining Patron. All the way across the country, The Black Keys were playing a concert in Sacramento. The Red Hot Chili Peppers were playing in Newark at The Prudential Center, (a venue I’d love to see The Dirty Pearls play at, but one step at a time here) but the most monumental show in the entire country was happening on East 23rd Street in NYC.

My ability to really go out and rock hard has decreased exponentially since entering my 30’s. For instance, my tolerance for annoying people is very low, hence I drove rather than took the train. Cinco De Mayo indicated to me there might be a lot of drunken idiots on the train. It turned out to be the right move because the night began with one of the quickest and most stress free rides into Manhattan I’ve ever driven. Emptying the bladder was first on my to do list, as I said, at this advanced age rocking can only happen after all these details are taken care of. Next, I set up Miss Sexy Armpit, our friend Lori, and myself up with a beer. As we caught the tail end of Ariana and The Rose’s last song, we found ourselves in an overwhelming predicament. I stood in a crowd of people and Miss Sexy Armpit’s gaze was fixated on the rows of stadium type seating in the back of the theatre. We were now faced with a huge decision. Do we completely lose our credibility and get our rock licenses revoked by sitting in those seats like a bunch of geriatrics? When the opportunity presents itself, we usually choose seats. Unless it’s Gwen Stefani and she might have her crotch in my face.

Even with all the local bands that I talk to on a regular basis, I had not heard of Liquid Blonde, one of the bands on the bill. They seemed to have characteristics like Powerman 5000 and Orgy. Their look is a little bit futuristic/punk while their sound incorporates electro type beats with heavy rock. Maybe there’s a rap-rock revival on the horizon because a couple of their songs had that vibe. I just Googled them as I write this and see that their tag line is “Electro-Sci-Fi Rock Orgy” so I wasn’t far off. Their drummer is jacked bigger than any of the WWE Superstars and I think they had a topless keyboardist, so there’s that.

The “Super-Moon” was supposedly out on Saturday night, but it was Star Killer that stole its thunder. The band, lead by Jasin Cadic, exploded onto the stage bringing their usual madness. They tore it up with all their tracks from their EP and then some including “As The Sky Is Falling” “Out of Range,” “Too Wrong” and “Picture Perfect.” The winning element to Star Killer’s songs is their ability to transport you to another world. You really get the feeling you’re in some sort of apocalyptic planet when listening to their music. Cadic’s enigmatic style and the aura that the band evokes is almost haunting and resonates in your mind long after their performance is over.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder. It’s not often that you see one guy come out with no band and no crazy lights and merely sing along with a backing track. Whether it’s budgetary or just the way he wants to present himself, Breedlove made a statement. You don’t need all the glitz, you just have to sound great and be original. During his impressive vocal set, the long-haired, bespectacled free spirit Breedlove mentioned that it’s not all the time that he can get a gig as grand as opening for The Dirty Pearls at Gramercy. Pull up his song “I Never Had” and you’ll hear what Breedlove is all about.

As evident on the bill that night, there’s quite a scene going on in the lower parts of Manhattan. A pretty large chunk of credit for that needs to go to The Dirty Pearls who have no problem welcoming fellow bands and singers into their world. During the show, the ‘Pearls frontman Tommy London mentioned that they are all about mutual respect and helping other bands in the scene. Recently, London started up his own label, Rivington Records, which will be spotlighting bands from the New York scene and beyond. 

As far as performances go, I never expect anything less than the best from The Dirty Pearls. They pour with intensity, it’s as if they actually run on “Caffeine and Gasoline” (track 3 on Whether You Like It Or Not, in case you were curious). Marty E., Dougie, Tommy, Sunny and Tommy London ripped through all their staple tracks including “New York City Is a Drug,” “Sucker For a Sequel,” “Static,” “Luvsikluv,” “Whether You Like It Or Not,” and of course “Who’s Coming Back To Who.” After many promises from London about the album having no ballads, they relented and threw in “You Got Me Where You Want Me” at the last minute. As a dude who switches off his brain when bands perform ballads, I was enthralled by how cool this track is. I even fired up my Zippo lighter app on the iPhone. At one point soon after Tommy London thanked everyone for being there and mentioned that he read on his Twitter feed that there were people in the crowd who came from as far as Berlin, Germany and even…NEW JERSEY hahaha!!! Those of us from across the river appreciate the shout out!

For the long time fans they threw in a medley of some old school ‘Pearls tracks like “Rockstarlivin’, “Hollywood La La La,” and one of my all-time favorites “Gimme, Gimme.” After their set was over, fans in the crowd resoundingly chanted “ONE MORE SONG! ONE MORE SONG,” and The ‘Pearls did not disappoint. They indeed came back to give us one more, but it wasn’t theirs. They performed a cover that was indicative of what they were feeling at that moment and that was Aerosmith’s “Sweet Emotion.”

All these paragraphs aren’t enough to express how perfectly The Dirty Pearls capture the raw emotion of rock and roll. If Elvis is The King, Frankie is The Chairman of the Board, Bruce is The Boss, then The Dirty Pearls head up New York City’s Department of Rock and Roll in the 5th Precinct.  

The Dirty Pearls first full-length record Whether You Like It or Not is available HERE