As far as trips to the bathroom go, if you are the in and out type you probably don’t have time to do any extensive reading while on the can. And if that’s the case, you are definitely not aware of the cutthroat business of publishing Bathroom Readers. A bathroom reader is a book which is often made up of random facts and information that provides a temporary diversion to help you relax while you’re on the john. There’s many to choose from, but one of my great Christmas gifts this year was a bathroom reader printed in New Jersey: The Bathroom Trivia Digest: Fascinating Facts for People on the Go by Russ Edwards and Jack Kriesmer. If you’re unloading for less than a few minutes, let’s face it, that’s probably not enough time to memorize the periodic table of elements or the Magna Carta, but just like that little penny holder at the checkout counter, you can take a few nuggets while you leave a few nuggets.
While there may be plenty of other things one can do to help evacuate his or her bowels, such as push, moan, groan, meditate, or pray for a miracle, a bathroom reader is most effective for the type of person who would be easily amused by reading that “Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath once a year.” That info may not seem too pertinent to you, but I’m sure it weighs heavily on the minds of people from Kentucky. And, in case you are ever take a DeLorean back to old timey days, “In New York it is illegal to shoot at a rabbit from a moving trolley car,” I hear the fines for that one are astronomical! While all these tidbits are titillating, no book printed in Saddle River, NJ and intended to be read while dumping is worth a damn unless it has at least a few mentions of our own beloved dump, The Garden State.