All Your Fantasies Can Come True…Now Buy a Jacuzzi you pricks! I need a new car stereo!
There’s no stipulation in AD JERSEUM saying that we can’t discuss fictional ads relating to Jersey, so the 15th installment of Ad Jerseum comes from the 1985 film Desperately Seeking Susan.
During a sleepover when I was a kid, instead of hanging out and pretending we were on secret missions with toy guns and all the usual activities, I once made my best friend watch Desperately Seeking Susan. This was one of the rare times he actually trusted me and agreed to watch a film that I recommended. I was a little kid in love with the Material Girl, what can I say? Most of my friends would’ve told me in more juvenile terms that my sleepover agenda was out of whack, but not Frank, he was a trooper. He actually got into the movie and enjoyed it.
“In our New Jersey showroom we have hundreds of models of whirlpools and hot tubs at the lowest manufacturer-to-you prices…”
Speckled with New Jersey references, Desperately Seeking Susan was less about Madonna and more about Roberta Glass. Roberta desperately wanted to BE like Susan (Madonna). She was unlike the obnoxious women you see on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Roberta lived in a beautiful home in Fort Lee, NJ and had everything she needed because her husband raked in a fortune selling spas and jacuzzis to rich assholes. Her husband, Gary (yes…Gary Glass – possibly the brother or cousin of George Glass, we’re still investigating that), was basically a self centered d-bag played to a tee by actor Mark Blum.
In the film, Glass has a party to view the airing of his latest commercial. The Gary’s Oasis TV spot has a similar production quality as a commercial you might see at 3 AM for a crappy local car dealership. But, it’s the blonde girls in bathing suits volleying the beach ball back and forth as they sit 2 feet away from each other that makes this one AD JERSEUM GOLD!!!