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It’s a sad day in New Jersey. For years we’ve enjoyed tax free shopping through online retail giant Amazon.com, but in July 2013 that will all change.

When I first started shopping on Amazon, the site was still in it’s infancy. People were buying mostly books off Amazon back then, but I was pretty much looking for good deals on movies and CD’s. As time went on, Amazon started gaining popularity. It wasn’t quite the standard it is today, but it was emerging as a force. I relied on Amazon for Christmas shopping and I still buy the majority of gifts through the site. The free shipping is a tremendous savings in addition to the savings they already provide to customers, but that wasn’t the real grabber. The BONUS for shopping on Amazon was that they did not charge tax in many states, New Jersey being one of them.

New Jersey’s 7% sales tax, while not the highest in the nation, is still pretty damn high. Through the nearly 18 years of Amazon’s existence, they have offered their customers lots of savings, especially to me. I don’t mean to sound like a commercial, but in there is a glaring difference between shopping on Amazon and going to an actual store. If I bought a $200 dollar item from a local retailer in New Jersey I’d pay about $14.00 tax. If I visited Amazon.com and merely clicked a few virtual buttons, I’d have to pay…NO TAX!!!

I’ve read about Amazon’s plans to build a facility in New Jersey in the past year or so, but nothing was official. There will be an Amazon warehouse facility built in NJ and because of that they have to start charging sales tax. Unfortunately, this article from NJ.com made the official announcement.

I really feel like Hulking up and getting angry right now, but I’m trying to contain myself. I’ll probably still deal through Amazon since shopping in New Jersey is a total nightmare, especially during the holidays. I am always a huge supporter of local shops and restaurants, but keeping Amazon from saving me a few extra bucks is only going to fill the pockets of crooked, embezzling New Jersey politicians. Screw the state senators for effing us again!

My Amazon wish list is a junkyard of DVDs that nobody wants. I’ve got the weirdest shit on that list. The DVDs just sit there, unbought. For years! I have over five hundred movies on there, enough that 10 people probably couldn’t get through them in their entire lifetimes. But somehow I think I will one day. Or, I just like to pay a minimal amount of attention to the lesser known efforts. Some are B-movies, some are forgotten comedies, most of them are cheesy, but only one of them features Parker Lewis having a run in with Diamond Dallas Page.

Buying this unfortunate film was completely out of the question. So, I did what any B-film curious movie lover would do…I checked Netflix. Sure enough, HIGH HOPES (2006) popped right up as being available for streaming! I started feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and off my wish list.

The plot is pretty standard late night cable comedy fare. A group of guys are attempt to get their movie financed and they bank on their friends movie star girlfriend to star in it and then she breaks up with the guy so they are up the creek. Blah, blah, you could figure out all the wacky hijinks that ensue as they try to accomplish their goal. The cast is made up of actors who will probably charge you an exorbitant amount for an autograph at the next Monster Mania Con.

And no, I wasn’t joking, Corin Nemec does indeed have a run in with former pro wrestler DDP. Geez, doesn’t he know not to refer to DDP as a pimp? I really loved Parker Lewis Can’t Lose when I was a kid. Of course, now it’s trendy to claim that with all the hard- ons out there for ’90s nostalgia. It’s good to see he’s still getting acting jobs. He must still synchronize swatches previous to his auditions. Boy I’ll tell you who this movie could’ve used…TV’s Ferris Bueller CHARLIE SCHLATTER! But perhaps even more of a coup was the decision to cast one half of our local stoner tag team, Jason Mewes. (Check out his awesome New Jersey t-shirt pictured above.) If you’re a Jay and Silent Bob fan, this film won’t be such a stretch for you. There’s many variations on Jason Mewes getting stoned such as the one that will warm your heart: Jason Mewes getting a deaf mute guy stoned. You’ll also see Dany Trejo whose company Trejo 4.0 also co-produced the film which probably explains why his friend from Point Pleasant NJ, DDP had a cameo. Previously, they both appeared together in The Devil’s Rejects.

There are many worse low budget comedies on my wish list than High Hopes. I hope to continue gradually eliminating the crap from it. I gave the film a chance, but for you it just comes down to deciding if you want to part with an hour and a half of your life which will be dedicated to watching a movie which cast includes David Faustino and the kid who played Alex in Head of the Class. You really have to be a lover of the obscure ones, or just completely desperate for something to watch. Here’s my final verdict: Less Dick as in Andy Dick and more of that Lacey stuff…I mean Lacey Chabert.

amazon

Amazon Will Charge Sales Tax in New Jersey in 2013

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 82: High Hopes