Kick Buttowski, Amy Winehouse, and a Snowstorm: Happy Halloween 2011!

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19 inches of snow fell in West Milford, NJ over the weekend. Many people around the state lost power, but that didn’t stop us. It was the weekend I’ve waited for all month long…Halloweekend!

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Despite the unexpected and unwelcome snow storm, October is still without a doubt my favorite month. I know that many of you share that sentiment otherwise you wouldn’t be part of the Countdown to Halloween blogathon that takes place all month long. Every year since I was a kid, I had my costume picked out and prepped well over a month ahead of time. Actually, to the many people who don’t give two shits about Halloween, this post is not for you!

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This year for Halloween I was inspired early on. One of my favorite cartoons for the past couple of years has been Disney’s Kick Buttowski. I watch it any time it’s on so I decided to get a little animated and become him for Halloween! Coincidentally, the little suburban daredevil is voiced by New Jersey’s own CHARLIE SCHLATTER, an actor who is basically a cult icon around The Sexy Armpit. You may remember him from playing Ferris Bueller in the short lived TV show incarnation. No one really knew who I was, which I expected. This one was for me. A ton of people thought I was the race car driver who recently passed away. I never insult the recently deceased like that unless I’m paying homage. Speaking of paying homage, pictured below is Ms. Sexy Armpit paying tribute to Amy Winehouse. She was easily the best Amy Winehouse I’ve seen this season.

Amy Winehouse Costume 

We attended Paranormal Books’ Annual Halloween party at Asbury Lanes on Saturday and yours truly was asked to be one of the guest judges for the costume contest! What an honor! You can see inside the bookstore if you watch The Sexy Armpit Halloween Special on our YouTube page!

I want to thank you as always for stopping by The Sexy Armpit this month, even if it was for a few minutes. Also, a BIGGER thanks if you watched The Sexy Armpit Halloween Special! If you enjoyed it, there’s more shows like that on the way. On behalf of everyone who makes The Sexy Armpit happen, we had a blast all month long. Thanks to you and all the other bloggers out there who entertained us as well with their spooky countdowns! If you have a moment, please leave a comment and let us know what your costume was this year! Happy Halloween…mwahahahahahaaaa!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 82: High Hopes


My Amazon wish list is a junkyard of DVDs that nobody wants. I’ve got the weirdest shit on that list. The DVDs just sit there, unbought. For years! I have over five hundred movies on there, enough that 10 people probably couldn’t get through them in their entire lifetimes. But somehow I think I will one day. Or, I just like to pay a minimal amount of attention to the lesser known efforts. Some are B-movies, some are forgotten comedies, most of them are cheesy, but only one of them features Parker Lewis having a run in with Diamond Dallas Page.


Buying this unfortunate film was completely out of the question. So, I did what any B-film curious movie lover would do…I checked Netflix. Sure enough, HIGH HOPES (2006) popped right up as being available for streaming! I started feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and off my wish list.

The plot is pretty standard late night cable comedy fare. A group of guys are attempt to get their movie financed and they bank on their friends movie star girlfriend to star in it and then she breaks up with the guy so they are up the creek. Blah, blah, you could figure out all the wacky hijinks that ensue as they try to accomplish their goal. The cast is made up of actors who will probably charge you an exorbitant amount for an autograph at the next Monster Mania Con.


And no, I wasn’t joking, Corin Nemec does indeed have a run in with former pro wrestler DDP. Geez, doesn’t he know not to refer to DDP as a pimp? I really loved Parker Lewis Can’t Lose when I was a kid. Of course, now it’s trendy to claim that with all the hard- ons out there for ’90s nostalgia. It’s good to see he’s still getting acting jobs. He must still synchronize swatches previous to his auditions. Boy I’ll tell you who this movie could’ve used…TV’s Ferris Bueller CHARLIE SCHLATTER! But perhaps even more of a coup was the decision to cast one half of our local stoner tag team, Jason Mewes. (Check out his awesome New Jersey t-shirt pictured above.) If you’re a Jay and Silent Bob fan, this film won’t be such a stretch for you. There’s many variations on Jason Mewes getting stoned such as the one that will warm your heart: Jason Mewes getting a deaf mute guy stoned. You’ll also see Dany Trejo whose company Trejo 4.0 also co-produced the film which probably explains why his friend from Point Pleasant NJ, DDP had a cameo. Previously, they both appeared together in The Devil’s Rejects.

There are many worse low budget comedies on my wish list than High Hopes. I hope to continue gradually eliminating the crap from it. I gave the film a chance, but for you it just comes down to deciding if you want to part with an hour and a half of your life which will be dedicated to watching a movie which cast includes David Faustino and the kid who played Alex in Head of the Class. You really have to be a lover of the obscure ones, or just completely desperate for something to watch. Here’s my final verdict: Less Dick as in Andy Dick and more of that Lacey stuff…I mean Lacey Chabert.

Schlatter Claus is Comin’ to Town!

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Can you hear the bells jingling? I sure can. I also hear The Boss singing those iconic lyrics “You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry, you’d better not pout I’m tellin’ you why…Schlatter Claus is Comin’ to Town…Schlatter Claus is Comin’ to Town…Schlatter Claus is Comiiin’ toooo town.”

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During the Christmas season there’s plenty of jaded kids all around the world who are questioning the existence of Schlatter Claus. After the short lived Ferris Bueller TV series left a bad taste in people’s mouths, Schlatter Claus went into hiding. I really don’t know why he was so ashamed of himself, I thought the show was pretty damn good. I remember watching it and that’s where I first saw Jennifer Aniston. When Friends became mega popular I used to say, “Hey isn’t that Jeannie Bueller?” But, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Jennifer Aniston is more popular than Charlie Schlatter because that would be completely untrue. OK, so Jennifer Aniston makes it onto the front cover of People magazine, big deal. Literally billions of kids around the world write letters and fan mail to Schlatter Claus every year, so I’d say Schlatter Claus wins that one hands down. I also had a huge crush on Ami Dolenz at the time, but I should stay focused or I’ll go on a tangent about how funny it would be to have a Monkee for a dad. Alas, I’m here to tell you that Schlatter Claus is 100% f-cking real, and he actually IS coming to town! Well, only if you have a DVD player or Netflix that is.

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My man Schlatter Claus was born in Fairlawn, NJ (Englewood, NJ in IMDB), but he’s not just stopping in Jersey to drop off gifts, he’s making sure he visits all of your homes this Christmas. You don’t even have to rely on him coming only ONE day a year because he’s starred in a enough memorable ’80s TV shows and movies to entertain you, not only during Christmas time, but all year long. His film credits include Bright Lights, Big City, 18 Again (step aside Zack Efron!), Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, The Delinquents, and even Miss Cast Away featuring a cameo by Michael Jackson. Schlatter went on to concentrate on doing voice work in animated shows such as playing The Flash in The Batman and Superman:The Animated Series as well as various other characters in cartoons such as Sonic the Hedgehog, Captain Planet & the Planeteers, Kim Possible, Bratz, Butt Ugly Martians, and Loonatics Unleashed. Schlatter Claus also voiced characters in a slew of video games like Spiderman 3, Metal Gear Solid 3, Everquest 2, and Punisher. Remember kids, Schlatter Claus will only come to visit your house if you’ve been good girls and boys, so you better be good for goodness sake, and that means NOT insulting the Ferris Bueller TV show!