No joke: This shirt was $199 bucks on eBay. The auction offered free shipping though, as if that was any incentive to buy a 20 year old, used t-shirt.
Internet, oh Internet, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways! 1) you make it easier to pay my bills 2) you provide me with an occasionally biased, poorly edited, publicly written encyclopedia that has become the Britannica of the modern age. 3) you’ve made it so simple to find pornography at little or no cost to millions of men around the world (and excessively horny women…you know who you are!) 4) Where would we be without social networking sites? Actually speaking to each other on the phone, or better yet interacting with someone IN PERSON? OK, so the Internet is a blessing, but it’s also a curse because now we rely on it like a drug.
Above all of the aforementioned reasons why I love the Internet, the reason I love most is that we can find cool shit that isn’t for sale in any store, not even a thrift store or a flea market. You see, there are just some things that no one in their right mind would actually sell to you in person. That is where the Internet comes in. Places like eBay, Craigslist, and other auction sites have afforded us the opportunity to buy entire series bootlegs of TV shows that will never have even a minute chance of getting an official release. The Internet, and Google has opened up doors for us that lead to toys from our childhood that mysteriously disappeared from our den when we were young, only for us to find out that our father’s got rid of them so we can grow up and become men. You want Castle Grayskull mint in box? eBay! How the f-ck does someone still have that, you ask? Well, I have no idea because I ask myself that same question.
Where do our old hand-me-downs wind up? Remember that Kiss Animalize tour shirt you wore constantly back in ’84? Well, you can buy it on eBay for upwards of $200! Who would spend that kind of scratch on an old ratty, smelly, shirt that’s probably been soaked in someone elses beer puke once or twice? There’s someone out there who will, I guarantee it! Would you spend it on that Bon Jovi t-shirt that you had from their homecoming concert at Giants Stadium back in June of ’89? Even if it was a special shirt produced and sold that night only?
Even at their height of success, Bon Jovi was never known to have the best concert t-shirts. Proving that statement is the Jovi tee pictured above, created for their ’89 concert in East Rutherford. The graphic on the front of the shirt begs to be discussed. The first noticeable flaw is that Jon Bon Jovi is clearly not “Giant-Man: the all Mighty and Powerful Rock God.” It’s not humanly possible that all 5 foot 5 of Jon Francis could dwarf Giants Stadium! C’mon people! Whoever drew this must’ve been mistakenly drawing Jon Mikl Thor in Rock and Roll Nightmare, because Jon Bon Jovi is not that Herculean. I also had no idea Jon was the Intercontinental Champion, either that or he’s wearing a gold encrusted chastity belt. Dear Jon Bon Jovi, The Sexy Armpit wishes you good luck in defending rock and roll in East Rutherford, New Jersey from all the evil creatures attempting to stop you from playing your concert.
For more vintage, overpriced concert tees check out Power Seller “stormcrow-vintage.”