A Septic Spiel of Spooky Scares, Super Heroes, and Strange Stories from Miles Beneath the Crud of New Jersey!
It’s seriously t-shirt time here at The Sexy Armpit! I figured since the new season of Jersey Shore premiered last week, why not delve into the vast collection of tees offered at The Shore Store in Seaside Heights. This is the store where the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore works when they aren’t getting drunk, smushing, throwing each others belongings onto the deck, fist pumping, or signaling oncoming grenades.
If you scan through their online store, you’ll see that they offer a wide array of t-shirts, some highly offensive and some totally stupid, but the main attractions are the amusing New Jersey tees for sale. As you can see, there’s a good chance that the 4th grade class at your local elementary school came up with the one liners on these t-shirts, not William Shakespeare as you may have thought. In case you hadn’t guessed, Come Smell For Yourself is my favorite.
Mash-ups in pop culture are inevitable no matter how blasphemous. If you grew up watching Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, then there’s a damn good chance you are furious over the mere idea of the Sesame Street gang getting mixed up with the cast of Jersey Shore. It’s like the apostles banding together to create one righteously badass boy band, it’s just something that’s never supposed to happen. But when t-shirt sales are involved, all bets are off!
For some reason I can see Bert and Ernie going tanning and doing laundry, but I doubt I’d catch them at the gym since they seem pretty doughy. Maybe The Situation and Pauly D. have inspired them to tone up for beach season or bathtub season in their case? Oscar seems to fit right in. He’s chillin’ in a trash can that has an “I Heart Jersey” sign on it, and I’m sure he’ll be quite happy since we’ve got a helluva lot of trash here in Jersey. They really should’ve got the Muppets in on this and asked Miss Piggy if she wanted to be Snooki.
In the t-shirt pictured above, It looks like Cookie Monster turned red from too much tanning and had a sex change. I always thought Cookie Monster was male but seeing him as Snooki Monster has me worried. I hope Cookie Monster didn’t go and have any weird Muppet operation. I realize it’s only a play on words but who knows, right? Do you have a direct line into Cookie Monster’s personal affairs? Does he tell you his innermost feelings? Maybe he was never comfortable as himself and he engorges himself with COOOOOOKIES to help alleviate his misery. Until you truly know Cookie Monster then don’t make any assumptions! If he wants to have an operation to become a pudgy, tanned guidette who eats pickles instead of cookies, then so be it. We love you either way Cookie Monster.