NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 110: Great Adventure’s Fright Fest

sixflagsFFGA01
This year’s edition of Six Flags Fright Fest T-Shirt and Hoodie offerings
Amusement Parks and Halloween always make a great combination. Thrill rides in the chilled night air, and goofing around with your friends usually leads me to feel like there’s a horror movie plot being created in there somewhere. Whether there’s a killer lurking in the park or some supernatural entity is haunting one of the attractions, the Halloween season is prime time to head to your nearest amusement park and experience the fun of the season. We’re spoiled in Jersey because every year Six Flags Great Adventure becomes infested with ghosts, zombies, crazy clowns, and vampires for their annual Fright Fest celebration. Just remember to get there early. We didn’t.

Fright Fest is an annual thing for us, but we usually wind up getting on one ride if we’re lucky. The lines are super insane during Fright Fest, and the park is probably even more packed than it would be in the middle of the summer. Difference is, that it’s nicer to wait in lines and get on rides when it’s not a sweltering 97 degrees in the shade and over one hundred percent humidity.

Weather-wise, Saturday night was perfect. I was with a bunch of great people and even though we only made it on one ride, we had a blast. I’m sure it would’ve been more fun if the lines for the actual Fright Fest attractions weren’t as long. Even the average wait time for a roller coaster was an hour. While waiting in excruciatingly long lines, it helps to cling to the hope that the ride actually doesn’t break down before you make it to the last section of the line queue.

Fortunately, the ride we did decide to wait for went smoothly. Skull Mountain didn’t take that long to get through the line, probably because it’s one of the tamer rides, so we were patient. It fit into the Fright Fest theme as well. For an older, less face melting type of ride, this one still holds up after all these years. Think of it as Six Flag’s answer to Space Mountain only with a theme on the exterior that brings to mind The Goonies, King Kong, or a pirate movie.

sixflagsFFGA02 

We were required to buy separate tickets for the haunted attractions, so we did that online at home to save a couple of bucks. Next we had to wait on another long line just to show them our print-outs to get a wristband for the haunts. This was just becoming an abysmal LINE FEST. Then we would have to wait on more laughable lines for each individual haunt. Fed up by this point, I started asking the lady a few questions about the attractions.

I was disappointed to learn that all of the attractions were walk through trails featuring live actors. I wasn’t hoping for dead actors, I was just hoping for a good old fashioned haunted house or dark ride type situation. They should mix it up and offer half walk throughs and at least one or two haunted houses that remind you of an old dark ride. I can’t tell you how many times Six Flags has sent me e-mails asking for feedback regarding my last visit to Fright Fest and I wrote them a hundred times that Fright Fest needs a good old fashioned, boardwalk style haunted house. It shouldn’t only be for Fright Fest either, it should be open year round for all of us psychos to enjoy.

sixflagsGAFF03 
We played the boardwalk and carnival games they have in the Psycho Circus area.
Miss Sexy Armpit won me a Slimer plush! Dinosaur Dracula and Freddy in Space also won
Slimers as well only Dino Drac’s is darker shade of green than this one. I opted for the brighter one since it seemed like it was glowing like the real Slimer. The vintage melted plastic pumpkin decoration has absolutely nothing to do with Six Flags Great Adventure. Slimer is petrified of him though, and he should be, since he’s creepy as hell.

In the late ’70s, Great Adventure’s Haunted Castle was the type of attraction we needed until arsonists supposedly burned it down in ’84, killing eight teenagers trapped inside. Maybe they feel like it’s a curse if they build another one? I can’t say for sure, but maybe they fell that they aren’t experts at subtly, they prefer spending millions to create the fastest, most cheek rippling coasters the world has ever seen. Nothing wrong with that. The thing is, Great Adventure is already fully stocked with thrill rides and there’s a new one on the way for next season. Another thrill ride is superfluous, again, we need a damn haunted DARK RIDE. Attention to detail is preferred.

Keeping with the resoundingly positive note I am on, the graphic on this year’s Six Flags Great Adventure Fright Fest shirts and hoodies are AWESOME. They did get this part of the celebration correct. Apparel graphics are always a big part of the experience. You must be able to properly commemorate your visit and this year Six Flags came up with a couple of really cool looking designs. I couldn’t exit the park without snapping a few shots. America loves zombies…and paying lots of money to wait on never-ending lines apparently.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 109: Dunkin’ Donuts Rebuild NJ

 photo dunkindonutsNJshirt_zps4d0387e5.jpg
RebuilDD NJ T-Shirt available at Dunkin’ Donuts
The weekend shore traffic on the Garden State Parkway is just as busy as it is every summer. It’s apparent that the damage from “superstorm” Sandy hasn’t deterred people flocking from all over to experience their summer excursions to the Jersey Shore. All the stuff you hear that people from Jersey are “resilient,” is not just the news trying to be dramatic – it’s true. Same goes for the tri-state area. You may encounter snobbery in L.A, and southern hospitality in Tennessee, but you will not encounter quite the exact same never say die attitude that we have here.

Between the bumper stickers and the t-shirts it seems that Sandy got a lot more press than it deserved, and it’s STILL happening. The worst part is, not all of the profits from merch sales are going to beneift the victims of the storm. I like to assume that the ones that are on the level are donating at least a percentage of the profits to people who lost everything in the devastating hurricane.

I haven’t been frequenting Dunkin Donuts lately, but the past few times I did happen to stop in before work, I noticed this “Rebuildd NJ” t-shirt for sale. It’s good to see Dunkin’ Donuts is showing their support for NJ, especially since there’s one around every damn corner here. Let’s just hope the profits don’t go to opening the new franchises they have opening up in California soon.

Check out another NJ/Dunkin Donuts related post:

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 108: Toxie’s Almost 30th Anniversary Shirt

 photo toxicavengershirtFR_zps3b08c817.jpg

The always eloquent Darth Vader once said, “It is pointless to resist…” and I’ve proved him right. Early on, there was a time when I tried my very best to look away whenever the horror t-shirt company Fright Rags released a cool new special edition shirt, but within the past few years, they’ve beaten me into submission. There was absolutely no way I could deny some of their amazing limited run shirts, including Friday the 13th, and their KISS inspired KILL tour shirt. Today, I’ll show you one of their most recent tees, an “Almost 30th Anniversary” Toxic Avenger edition.

Fright Rags enlists only the best artists to provide artwork on their t-shirts, but unfortunately I have no idea who the credit goes to for this superb work. This Toxie shirt is a prime example of the high quality and attention to detail that Fright Rags has become synonymous with. I’ve seen and owned so many mediocre shirts with my favorite characters on them through the years and this one blows most of them out of the polluted water.

On the front of the shirt, Toxie stands tall over a river of bubbling chemicals, mop in hand, in front of the American flag and chemical plants in the distance. Two hotties kneel beside him. This is some incredibly dramatic…and smelly stuff. To make it official, the Troma logo is on the back of the tee.

Toxie fans will be delighted and should show their appreciate that Fright Rags paid such an excellent tribute to the Almost 30th anniversary of the FIRST Superhero from New Jersey! At the time of this post, I’ve come to the point where I handed Fright Rags over my bank account information so they can just speed up the process of getting me these masterpieces in the future.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 107: Camp Crystal Lake Day Care

 photo ccldaycare2_zpsf7d3cabc.jpg
Buy this shirt HERE

Is your present babysitter is just not CUTTING it? Well, don’t fret, because there’s help out there. Why leave your kids with an overpriced teenager who ignores your kids so she can watch her phone and wait for texts messages to come in? Your kids deserve better! Why not drive them into the middle of the woods of Northwestern New Jersey and let them breathe in the fresh air and admire the scenic landscapes? What if I added in the bonus that there’s a chance they’ll come back so completely scared shitless that they’ll never make any trouble again? Sounds tempting already, right?

This summer, you have all kinds of things that you wish you and your spouse could do, but, nowadays you just don’t get enough time. The kids have soccer practice and gymnastics every weekend, but in a few weeks there’s that concert you really want to go to, or maybe you feel like having some drinks and acting stupid with your wife. Or perhaps you just want to catch The Conjuring this weekend without having to get roped into seeing Turbo and spending $87 on popcorn and soda. Heck, Monster Mania is coming up next month, but you can’t even afford because those mangy kids need new school clothes.

 photo crystallakedaycare01_zpsf7374ede.jpg
 

Listen, your kids can’t stay in the air conditioning every day of the summer playing video games, they need to start getting in touch with nature and enjoying some recreation that doesn’t involve electronics or cell phones. The answer for you isn’t sending your kids to Young People’s Day Camp, it’s the flexibility and fun of Camp Crystal Lake Day Care.

Your kids will love playing outdoor games, swimming with kids their age, and hearing ghost stories by campfire, all the while under the caring, compassionate, and watchful eye of our experienced counselor, Jason Voorhees. Register your child TODAY!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 106: KILL Tour T-Shirt from Fright Rags

 photo kisshorrortshirtNJ_zps71ceb999.jpg
Often, when something “limited edition” comes down the pike I just have to own it. A prime example is the KILL tour t-shirt that was released as a special edition by Fright Rags recently. Fright Rags is known for printing up genius, one of a kind horror tees, and this may be one of the best they ever conceived. Check it out and you can be the judge of that.

The KILL Tour T-shirt is inspired by the Destroyer album cover art from my favorite band, KISS. Anytime the world of horror combines with KISS, it’s a win-win. The t-shirt art includes Freddy, Chucky, Jason Voorhees, and Leatherface taking the place of KISS. What knocks this baseball style tee right out of the old Roosevelt Stadium is KILL’s tour stops are listed on the back just like an old vintage concert t-shirt! On KILL’s Decades of Destruction Tour, in honor of the release of the original Friday the 13th film, the band’s May 9th, 1980 tour stop was at Crystal Lake…in NEW JERSAAAY!

Previous releases that I also HAD TO HAVE included G.I Jason (the GI Joe/Jason Voorhees mashup) and one of their beautiful Friday the 13th The Final Chapter tees. Artist Jason Edmiston was responsible for the artwork on both the GI Jason tee as well as this KILL tour shirt, but the new one may take the cake. It’s a dead heat for me. What do you think? If you own the regular black t-shirt version of “KILL,” it’s slightly more accurate to the Destroyer cover, but I opted for the larger KILL logo on the baseball tee.

You can now see why I felt so compelled to make this shirt part of my wardrobe. But surprisingly, this shirt wasn’t released without criticism since it’s hard to please everyone. The flack on this shirt was that Michael Myers should’ve been in the artwork instead of Chucky. I’m not sure why that happened, but if Myers was on the shirt instead it would indeed be perfect. I’m not complaining one bit though, I think it was an awesome idea and I’d like to see more cool ideas like this from Fright Rags.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 105: My Chemical Romance

 photo mychemicalshirtNJ02_zps76e20595.jpg
Some cool MCR T-Shirt designs

Wow, it’s been a while since I posted a T-Shirt Tuesday, so here we go! If you’re into the rock music scene you’ve probably heard by now that New Jersey’s My Chemical Romance announced their break-up last week to the dismay of their legion of passionate fans.

Often mislabeled and passed off as merely “emo punks,” MCR were more than just a rock band. Each member of the band became a larger than life comic book character in the same vein of The Beatles and KISS. They also created a vast mythology to go along with their music, storytelling like a goth-glam Springsteen times five. Perhaps they’ll go the way of Green Day and formulate a Welcome to the Black Parade Broadway show? I’d go see it.
Most recently in the world of MCR, and prior to releasing single tracks from an incomplete album, the band unleashed the under appreciated Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, a poppy, upbeat spectacle of rock, one which I admire and rotate on my iPod Classic often.

 photo mychmeicalshirt01NJ_zpsa709dbf6.jpg

After 12 years the band has called it quits, yet I feel that they still have more to accomplish music-wise. I’m hoping we’ll see a HUGE reunion tour in about 5 years. I can definitely see them rising to new heights and selling out stadiums in the future. After all, we need a band to be “thee band,” since there’s a major void in rock music nowadays. Rock in general has languished in the past several years so this split comes at a bad time. The world needs another revolutionary rock album and unfortunately MCR was on the short list of bands who could’ve created the next one.
As far as band t-shirts go, My Chem has always had some of the coolest looking tees. Their shirts are usually wearable in any context (i.e fashionable), meaning that some people may not realize it’s even a band shirt because they just look cool. Keep in mind, there are zillions of MCR shirts floating around, but today I bring you some pics of my favorites and a few that I own as well. Many of the designs of their badass t-shirts incorporate their logos, symbols, and characters from their songs. Here is a link to their official online store which is still open for business: http://store.mychemicalromance.com/?q=shop/featured

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 104: Fatman on Batman

Photobucket

What’s the difference between a Podcast and a Smodcast? There’s one big difference – a Smodcast is featured on NJ icon Kevin Smith’s network of podcasts available on iTunes. One of them happens to be about one of my favorite subjects in the whole world.

You can hear Smith and a Batman related guest discuss all things Caped Crusader on Fatman on Batman. It’s incredibly satisfying to be able to listen to a podcast all about the nuances of my favorite hero hosted by a reputable source such as Jersey’s own Kevin Smith.

Adam West, Arleen Sorkin, and Kevin Conroy have all been guests on the show. I’ve listened to all the episodes so far and the best guest was Mark Hamill. Hamill has been the voice of the Joker since Batman: The Animated Series, and there’s no one more associated with the character than Hamill. This 2-parter was fascinating and if you’re interested in sampling this podcast – I suggest downloading this episode! Smith delves into all kinds of bat-details, so it’s perfect for Batman and Kevin Smith fans alike.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 103: Restore The Shore

Photobucket
TEXT REDCROSS to 90999 on your phone or
 visit The American Red Cross Donation Page to make a donation.

We don’t waste a minute here in Jersey. Well, I sure as hell can waste minutes, but the state as a whole didn’t even wait for Hurricane Sandy to be over to start formulating plans to Restore the Shore. It’s already a well known catchphrase. So many people lost their homes and nearly 30 people lost their lives in New Jersey alone during this colossal storm. The damage along our coast is so extensive that it will take so much time and labor to get it to look remotely like how we are used to seeing it. We’ll need all the help we can get!
  Photobucket 

Immediately several companies jumped in to lend their help. Local independent t-shirt and graphics companies took to the Internet to sell t-shirts featuring original designs that would donate all proceeds to the American Red Cross Hurricane Sandy Disaster Relief effort. Some of the various tees are shown here in this post, but there’s even more floating around. Beware of knockoffs and companies that don’t seem like they are on the level. Some sites are scams capitalizing on this disaster – while many of them are totally legit and up front about where the money is going. Do some research before you buy! The ones listed below are the real deal!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 102: Jersey Girl Witch

Jersey Girl Witch
A Shop-Rite special: Jersey Girl Witch T-Shirt

Are there any references to spells, brooms, or cauldrons in the lyrics of Tom Waits’ 1980 track, “Jersey Girl?” I’m going to say no to that one, but I don’t think it would be wise to go around calling a Jersey girl a witch. She’d probably beat the hell out of you with her broom. If you can survive that one then you can enjoy today’s t-shirt that celebrates Halloween while loosely insinuating that girls from Jersey are indeed witches (not bitches, I swear).

No, most of the girls around here don’t resemble the Wicked Witch of the West, but a lot of them sure have attitudes. This shirt is partly correct in that sense…it’s just completely wrong in a fashion sense. Put it this way, I first saw this t-shirt last Halloween season in Shop-Rite of all places. Surprisingly they always come through with Jersey tees. I’m wondering if they have “Indiana Girl” witch t-shirts? If not, they’re really missing out! Can’t have it all I guess.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 101: Trick or Treat!

Photobucket
Here, have some alliteration: Sam from Trick ‘r’ Treat is cute, cuddly, and a killer, but Sammi Curr from Trick OR Treat is a resurrected, revengeful, rock star. I have a special place in my heart for both of them, but let’s talk about the latter for a moment. Until recently, I was under the impression that the only real ties the 1986 horror film Trick or Treat has to New Jersey are the record company that Sammi Curr is signed to as well as the fact that star Marc “Skippy” Price is a Jersey guy. But as usual, there is another…

Photobucket 

This Trick or Treat t-shirt I got a few years ago was created in the style of a vintage tour t-shirt. More specifically, Sammi Curr’s 1986 “Songs in the Key of Death Tour.” The back reveals all of his fictional tour dates. Most impressive is the fact that he makes a stop at the Meadowlands Arena, which back then was known as Brendan Byrne Arena and presently Izod Center, 2 nights before playing his triumphant concert at Lakeridge High School in North Carolina. Naturally, Sammi took mischief night off to go egg some houses. The man needs to get some rest once in a while!

Trick or Treat has been one of my favorite horror movies since I was young. I watch it religiously every October, usually multiple times. I’ve discussed it several times here at The Sexy Armpit, and although there are only a few minor connections to The Garden State in the film, it’s a film that doesn’t ever get enough credit. This is why I try to bring it up as often as possible at the blog and in my everyday life. If you can’t fathom the appeal of Sammi Curr, you should feel his wrath! Stand up and be counted!

Check out the other Trick or Treat related Posts here at The Sexy Armpit: