At the risk of sounding like a frat boy, I admit I’ve been to Hooters many times. It’s never on the list of “places I want to go” but to appease my best friend I go with him. We order a pitcher of Bud Light and usually check out whatever Yankees or Giants game is on depending on the season. Even with the girls walking around in tight little orange spandex shorts and low cut white tops I’m honestly not paying much attention to them.
Besides savoring the hops in my beer, (yeah right) I do something probably no man does while at Hooters. I look at the pictures on the wall! That’s right I said it! If you’ve ever gone to T.G.I Friday’s or Applebee’s, you may have found yourself looking at the junk they have scattered on the walls. I never really noticed the photos on the walls at Hooters until this visit. We sat down at a table and it wasn’t until possibly 20 minutes into our visit that my eyes bulged out of my sockets like Roger Rabbit. I couldn’t believe that I was sitting to the right of the greatest picture that Hooters has ever taken or will ever be taken in the future. This is a picture that doesn’t only belong on the wall to the Hooters we were in, it belongs in EVERY Hooters location in North America. They need to enclose it in an airtight glass vault in the middle of every Hooters for all to witness and pay their respects to. This picture warrants a dedicated spot in the Smithsonian.
OK, well you may not think so but I did…
It was a photo of the one and only Rob Van Winkle a.k.a Vanilla Ice with a host of Hooters girls from the early ’90s. I couldn’t believe how fortunate I was to be in the same presence as this picture instead of the nowhere near as good “Kathy Ireland Meets the Hooters Girls” and “Dan Marino Meets The Hooters Girls.” Glad I didn’t have to suffer an hour through looking at those worthless photos! They can burn as far as I’m concerned because all other Hooters pictures pale in comparison. There’s an unparalleled amount of class in showcasing a photo of Vanilla Ice with a bunch of Hooters girls. Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel is hack work compared to this masterpiece.