the 4th grade students at JFK Elementary School in Raritan, NJ
The cake depicts all 21 counties and various points of interest in The Garden State
Yep, The Sexy Armpit has been around for 5 years! Recently, Geocities, the birthplace of The Sexy Armpit, was put out of its misery. I don’t think anyone was sad to see it go, but several of my earliest websites were made using Pagebuilder and published on my free Geocities account. I created all the graphics for the original incarnation and it didn’t appear to be your typical shabby free web page. The original Armpit looked like it came out of the intro of You Can’t Do That On Television, one of my favorite shows ever. Once I realized that Blogger was a better platform for me, I began transcribing my writing over to blogger. What you see in the first year of the archive is only a sampling of what was offered at the original Sexy Armpit site. I’ll continue to post some of the classic articles and reviews that appeared on the site. As always, I greatly appreciate you dropping in and reading about all the NJ pop culture minutiae that I delve into. You can be sure that The Sexy Armpit will be around to celebrate many more birthdays! Thanks again!
At the 11th hour, on the 11th day of the 11th month (there’s that number again!) World War 1 came to an end. 11/11 is now celebrated as Veterans Day, and in a completely unrelated coincidence…The Sexy Armpit’s birthday! Woooo-hoooo! The Big 0-4! I’ve taken the liberty to have Chef Allen of the Royal Palace whip up a special treat for all of us to enjoy. I figured it would help us celebrate such a momentous occasion!
Jay: Yo, Chef Allen! Why don’t you have your guys roll that big mofo out here…
King Randor: Um, Jay?
Jay: Yes, King Randor?
King Randor: Don’t you think this ridiculously sized cake is a little much for only a 4 year anniversary?
Jay: Awww yeah! That’s the way we do it sucka! Hey Adora…are you impressed by it’s size? They say the size of a man’s cake is an indication of…
(all of a sudden there’s a blinding flash of light and a cool beaming sound effect)
Holy Shit! What the hell was that? Damn, I was just trying to enjoy The Sexy Armpit’s 4-year anniversary and you had to make it an exploding cake didn’t you Chef Allen? You mutha-
Jay: DID SKELETOR AND HORDAK JUST JUMP OUT OF MY CAKE? Oh man, I can’t think of a better present, thank you all so much! They were my favorites growing up. Hey guys…when’s your little strip dance? You are here for that aren’t you? That’s usually what happens when people pop out of a cake, especially gigantic pink frilly ones! Now I think you’re obligated, you owe it to these fine people. You can’t let them down now! At least Kobra Khan cause he’s probably got some trouser snake…umm, OK…I guess I’ll shut up now…
Hey Hordak, I bet you’re going to spray confetti or party streamers out of that thing right? Maybe bubbles or something to that effect? That’s such a nice gesture, you fellas are tops!
I’ve never celebrated an anniversary for this site so I figured why not indulge in a grand Internet tradition? I’ve prepared a little speech…
The great Paul Stanley of KISS once said that they originally created KISS because they wanted to be a band that they would enjoy watching live themselves. In 2004, I set out to create a website that was original and reflected my personality. It turned out to be more difficult than I imagined. The look was there, but the content wasn’t. I realized that the things that I felt compelled to write about were already written about and even when I came up with new ideas, I would log on to sites like X-E, Progressive Boink, and other sites only to see that it was already written about promptly and gloriously. If there’s a new food or drink, or the return of an old toy line from the ’80s like Masters of the Universe, it’s published on the Internet instantly.
The Sexy Armpit exists not to break the news on popular culture, or even report, it but merely to give it’s perspective. The market for pop culture blogs is already saturated. Hopefully you’ll see that our mission isn’t to be quick on the mark, or the MOST nostalgic…but one that doesn’t follow the crowd.
For me, the desire to keep writing will always be there because I enjoy it. It’s obviously not about the money. The hard part is coming up with ideas that haven’t really been done too much on the Internet. If I were to write a piece on the reasons why I’d want to bang Teela, that might be humorous, but I bet some lonely guy has a running list on some site that’s been on a server since ‘94. (apparently the #1 reason is that “She loves Anal“)