A Septic Spiel of Spooky Scares, Super Heroes, and Strange Stories from Miles Beneath the Crud of New Jersey!
Thank you. Seriously. If you’re reading this post you’re either a reader who stops by occasionally or someone who stumbled onto this site via a Google search for pictures of Elisabeth Shue’s ass. Regardless of why you are here, I thank you. It’s been 8 years since I started this site and what makes it all worth it is that there’s people that stop by to look around. There would be no point in doing it without you!
You’ve probably noticed that I’m more of a casual blogger. In the history of the site I’ve always tried to post at least a few times a week and for the most part, I do. There’s always a stretch of a few days where I’m feeling lazy. Once it starts feeling like I have to post something, that’s where it loses all the fun. So, I try to keep it simple. In trying to make sure that the majority of stuff I post about has some sort of underlying New Jersey theme, it actually alienates many readers, and I’m OK with that. That’s the point of this blog, otherwise it would just be a random blog with a funny name. Would I want to read a blog all about Kalamazoo, Michigan? Probably not. But the power of The Sexy Armpit lies in the fact that people come to this site from all over the United States.
“Anniversary of my blog” posts often tout milestones. I could probably list a bunch of awesome things that have happened because of this blog in the past several years, but honestly in the past year it’s been pretty much business as usual as far the actual blog goes. I’m not looking to reinvent any wheel or try to get picked up to write for other sites. I like doing what I do. Whenever I’ve written for other sites it’s taken away time from posting here. But posting every day isn’t proving anything to anyone and it’s not practical for me.
Plans for the future of the site are more than just writing posts. Putting up more of The Sexy Armpit shows for you to enjoy at our YouTube channel is what I’ll be concentrating on in the coming months. The posts won’t stop though, so please keep coming by!
Until then, follow me on Twitter @sexyarmpit and Subscribe to us on www.YouTube.com/thesexyarmpit
There’s several people I want to thank so I’ll give you a short list and if you’re not listed just know that I greatly appreciate all of your help!
@MissSexyArmpit
@LipsnCigs
@TheDirtyPearls
@NerdLunch
@ExiledinNJ
@RoadsideWonders
@BrianDonohue
Jason Voorhees must totally feel like Samantha Baker in Sixteen Candles. I forgot today is his birthday. There’s just been a lot going on and sometimes, as people get older, things like this pass us by. I’m going to make it up to him with a post of badass birthday cakes in his likeness! Thanks to user zackzander50 for the video above!
There’s also a red velvet Jason cake posted over at I Really Like Food, which isn’t as good as the others, but still cool. So, happy birthday Jason! I really hope we see you on the big screen again soon. Maybe even in IMAX?
After existing for 8 years, many blogs get a million hits a day. I must be doing something severely wrong. Oh yeah…I’m talking about insignificant New Jersey trivia. If you’re an avid visitor to the site or simply a casual reader, I appreciate your support immensely. Most bloggers don’t get paid and they continue because they enjoy it and we’re no different here. We receive no compensation or donations, but you can pay us in recommendations to your friends, spreading links to our posts, and of course, if you haven’t done so already:
“DUKES!” was my answer to everything for a long time when I was a kid. I was talking about Dukes of Hazzard, a show that I was obsessed with as were many other boys my age. My mom would ask me what I was going to ask Santa to bring me for Christmas and I’d reply “DUKES!” super loud. “Yes, but what Dukes thing do you want, Jay?” “A DUKES CAR!” I said to her, strangely in a thick New York type accent. When I was a little kid I had a hard time pronouncing my R’s which lead people to scratch their head when I said words like SMAWF and BAWN which actually meant SMURF and BURN. This is an issue you’ll hear many kids struggle with but usually grow out of. Occasionally that problem comes back when pronouncing the word BREWERY. To me that is the hardest word to say. I don’t remember having issues with the word BIRTHDAY, and what do you know, today is mine!
In this post you are looking at a few photos from a couple of birthdays from when I was a kid. The first one is circa 1982 where you can check out the awesome Dukes of Hazzard cake that was made for me. Back then the world wasn’t as obsessed with the insanely intricate gourmet cake decorating that we are today. Now we have Cake Boss and other shows like it and there’s no cake that can’t be created! Back then this cake was pretty f’n awesome. Through the years I’ve had a bunch of awesome cakes made for me such as Batman cakes, and a Sexy Armpit cake made by my awesome girlfriend.
The above photo was several years later after my I was a full blown WWF addict for a long time. You can see how excited I was to receive the Bobby Heenan action figure. I was so anxious to amass the Heenan Family and without it’s manager they were nothing so I was pumped. Anytime I got a WWF action figure I remember yelling so loud as if it was Silver Banshee’s sonic scream. I still get excited about things but I tend to be more reserved. Nowadays I don’t think I would shriek like that unless I won $47 million dollars. So, times have changed in some respects, but many aspects of my birthday remain exactly the same. For instance, this year I already bought myself a few hot wheels cars (not a General Lee), a couple of action figures, and my birthday weekend will include a TNA Wrestling show in Rahway NJ!
Happy Birthday to one of the greatest actors of our time and Jersey boy Jack Nicholson! Nicholson grew up in Neptune City, New Jersey and attended Manasquan High School. Jack was voted class clown by the class of 1954 which seems even more comical when you think about how 35 years later he would become one of pop culture’s most famous clowns, The Clown Prince of Crime, THE JOKER! Sure Heath Ledger gave a one of a kind performance in The Dark Knight, but Jack revolutionized the role in 1989’s Batman. If you mix Jack’s performance in one of my favorite films of all time, The Shining, with his turn as The Joker, you will likely arrive at something very close to Heath Ledger’s approach to The Joker character. Thank you Jack for all the superb, over the top, and ridiculously entertaining performances throughout your career!
Yep, The Sexy Armpit has been around for 5 years! Recently, Geocities, the birthplace of The Sexy Armpit, was put out of its misery. I don’t think anyone was sad to see it go, but several of my earliest websites were made using Pagebuilder and published on my free Geocities account. I created all the graphics for the original incarnation and it didn’t appear to be your typical shabby free web page. The original Armpit looked like it came out of the intro of You Can’t Do That On Television, one of my favorite shows ever. Once I realized that Blogger was a better platform for me, I began transcribing my writing over to blogger. What you see in the first year of the archive is only a sampling of what was offered at the original Sexy Armpit site. I’ll continue to post some of the classic articles and reviews that appeared on the site. As always, I greatly appreciate you dropping in and reading about all the NJ pop culture minutiae that I delve into. You can be sure that The Sexy Armpit will be around to celebrate many more birthdays! Thanks again!
At the 11th hour, on the 11th day of the 11th month (there’s that number again!) World War 1 came to an end. 11/11 is now celebrated as Veterans Day, and in a completely unrelated coincidence…The Sexy Armpit’s birthday! Woooo-hoooo! The Big 0-4! I’ve taken the liberty to have Chef Allen of the Royal Palace whip up a special treat for all of us to enjoy. I figured it would help us celebrate such a momentous occasion!
It’s July 13th which means The Dark Knight is only a short 5 days away! It will actually be shorter for those of you seeing sneak previews on Wednesday and Thursday. You lucky bastards! I’m trying to torture myself even more by waiting until noon on Friday, but that’s how I’ve done it since Batman Returns. For the Batman premiere in ’89 I had to wait until my parents could bring me so I couldn’t go until a packed evening showing. I’ll never forget that night because it was so unbelievable to me. Even before the movie started there was this feeling of excitement going through the theater. The theater we went to in town had lines wrapped around the building to buy tickets and each showing was sold out. Several years later the the theater turned into an Office Max. Apparently now it’s going to become an Irish Pub. Damn real estate! That building should be listed on the historic registry as “THE BUILDING WHERE JAY SAW BATMAN ON OPENING NIGHT IN 1989.”
As Casey Kasem used to say….”And now…On with the Countdown…”
I already covered Batman birthday cakes so far in the Dark Knight Countdown so now let me backtrack to the invitation. This is a Batman party invitation from 1989 which I kept as part of my collection. This is the comic book version of Batman who I grew up with. I always loved this version of Batman the best especially since I was introduced to him way before the Tim Burton version was even thought of. All throughout Batmania of the late ’80s and early ’90s this was still the “go-to” Batman who appeared on everything from t-shirts to party plates to puffy stickers. Forget about continuity, Batman wore gray and blue in the comics and black whenever he was on the big screen.
Birthday cakes have always been a bit of a sore subject for me. Every year since I could remember I wanted Cookie Puss for my birthday. It took about 8 years or so but I finally got him and he was the most enjoyable puss I ever had. For some reason, I never got big birthday shindigs or elaborate specialty birthday cakes. I guess it wasn’t in the cards for me. Dionne Warwick told me that when I called her up as a kid. She said almost exactly that: “Jay you’ll never have a great big party or a personalized character cake for your birthday.” I used to ask my mother why I didn’t (“How come ma?”) and it seemed there was no reason. “How come ma?”
Birthdays, especially in March, (like mine) seem to just creep up on people and then disappear like they never happened. In like a lion, out like a lamb as they say. Even though that doesn’t really pertain to this scenario, it sounded good. So I never really had a kickass cake until cookie Puss and that only happened once. About a year later my mother pulled a few slick moves and got Batman put on my cake. My father and I have birthdays that fall within 2 days of each other so both of our names were on the cake. I didn’t mind that at all since I was reasonable. I’ll share the sugary icing of a spotlight with my dad as long as Bats is on my cake. That definitely surprised me because it showed that someone was finally listening! A small part of me really wanted some little Batman and Robin figurines running on the icing backdrop of Gotham City, bat-signal and all, but I would take what I could get at that point! More than 10 years later, my girlfriend at the time created an amazing Batman cake for my 20th birthday. Cutting it up and eating it was the hardest part. Who would want to cut up Batman? Besides, The Joker!
I think birthdays in general should be fun and different than any other day. If your own birthday isn’t somewhat different from the norm that would suck. I’m not the type to ask for people to make a fuss over me but it’s sure nice when they do it on their own! I know if I was a kid right now, I’d be begging to have Batman parties, Pirates of the Caribbean parties, Hulk parties etc. When I was a kid I had everything from Super Friends plates (pictured) to WWF napkins but ne’er a Hulkster cake.
I think Birthday cakes should be personalized, although I understand the painstaking work that goes into them. A couple of years ago I took a crack at it and made my girl a Marvin the Martian birthday cake. For a guy who’s the opposite of Julia Childs I think I did a pretty damn good job. For a look at another cool cake related post check out Geektarded who has a really cool look at a MOTU birthday he had when he was a kid. How many bat-cakes have you guys had? Did you have any other cool cakes we should know about?
