Recreating Harley Quinn’s PINK’ PUDDIN’ from Magnolia Bakery!

Posted on by Jay

People pursue different things. Off the top of my head, I can think of the pursuit of happiness, the American dream, a higher salary, you know all those things. I pursue promotional tie-ins. Yesterday on a drive down the Garden State Parkway, I was reflecting on this and thinking how basically my entire existence has been defined by this chase. It’s something that’s always been in me. Baseball ignites passion in a lot of guys, while others love hunting and fishing, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s just not in me. Driving to Manhattan like a maniac at 10:00pm on a weeknight in a torrential rainstorm merely to nab a couple of cardboard Birds of Prey crowns at a select Burger King location that’s jazzed up to promote the film – now THAT is my shit. The level of motivation you have to have for that kind of thing is pretty intense. That fire lead me to do something I wouldn’t ordinarily do: BAKE! And that baking lead me to document it on my website, something that I rarely get motivated to do. So here it is, please marvel at my madness for minutia.

Looking back, Birds of Prey had a proper theatrical run before this current quarantine climate. While it wasn’t as lucrative as it should have been, it received a ton of positivity from fans and critics. I saw it twice in theaters and it was easily in my top 3 DC movies thus far. I’ve obviously got a huge soft spot for Harley Quinn, so there’s that, but it’s still a bombastic, colorful, and frenetically fun film and that can’t be denied. No complaints from me in that area, especially since it was released early to digital an VOD. I was ecstatic to be watching it at home way sooner that I thought I’d be. Although, there was one missing piece for me in the promotional machine for the movie.

A quite legendary bakery in New York City, Magnolia, renowned for their cupcakes, was quietly offering an officially endorsed Harley Quinn themed dessert. I found out about this news late as I watched Margot Robbie get presented with it on a late night talk show that I DVR’d and watched a few days too late. SON OF A B! By the time I called Magnolia to see if any of their locations were still offering this delight, I was outright denied. The promotion seemed to have lasted maybe 2 weeks or possibly even less than that.

Their specialty banana pudding recipe was altered ever so slightly and branded with the Birds of Prey logo. In honor of Joker’s ex-squeeze, they even renamed it PINK PUDDIN’! Once I heard the lady on the phone from Magnolia tell me “NO, we stopped serving that,” it was naturally my mission in life to right the wrong that has clearly occurred. How could I have missed out on this? ME…the guy with Harley Quinn on his website header! My mission in life since early February became even clearer and not even the world shutting down could stop me from accomplishing it.

To qualify me as a “baker” would be an absolute farce. Truthfully, I do know my way around a kitchen, although I rarely put those skills into practice. In this case, I called myself on the Batphone and I sprang into action. If you saw me during this blitz of baking, the control and chutzpah on display was pretty remarkable considering I used my stove maybe 5 times in 15 years. My plan was to recreate Magnolia’s specialty banana “Pink Pudding’.” Banana pudding + pink cake crumbles + other nonsense = heaven? I didn’t even bother researching a copycat recipe which is what I’ve done for certain meals in the past. I felt compelled to just guess and wing it and whip this up myself using only THE FORCE a.k.a my intuition. How hard could it be to make banana pudding?

WARNING: I try my best to eat as healthy as I can in any situation, but in this case I went with all the standard ingredients. Ordinarily, I would opt for the healthier options. It’s probably super easy to make a vegan version or just a version that health conscious people don’t mind eating. This right here is a sugar coma waiting to happen, so be warned!

WHAT YOU NEED: Milk, Eggs, Butter (or oil), bananas, cake mix, sprinkles, a couple of colors of icing, instant pudding, measuring cup, large mixing bowls, electric mixer, cake pan, paper dessert cups with lid.

STEP 1:

I picked up banana cream instant pudding. It’s absurdly easy to make. To be honest, I haven’t made pudding since I was a kid with my mom in the kitchen. You throw the mix into a bowl with milk and whisk it for a few minutes and your pudding magically appears in the bowl. If all things in life were as easy as making pudding, we’d live in constant euphoria.

STEP 2:

I’m 99% sure there’s actual bananas in this dessert and it was important to me that I had at least some semblance of fruit in this otherwise it would be literally 100% garbage for you. I bought some of those monster bananas you see in the produce section that were clearly injected with BANE venom. I sliced these babies up real nice and threw them directly into the pudding. Mixed it up, covered the bowl in plastic wrap and threw it in the fridge while I worked on the other stuff.

STEP 3:

Bake a cake! First, pre-heat your oven to the temp. that the box tells you to and then move onto the cake mix. I bought the pink cake because PINK is in the title and the colors are important. The Harley “caution tape” costume in Birds of Prey is the inspiration here in my view, so the more vibrant the better. In this case, I started to add my own spin. If the cake mix you buy calls for oil, that’s fine, but if it calls for butter, make sure the butter is softened and not hard as a rock. That is a key so your cake isn’t lumpy. Nobody wants lumpy cake. In a mixing bowl, throw in some water, your cake mix, eggs, and butter (or oil). This is where you blend it all together until it’s smooth with an electric mixer. Some of you have fancy Kitchen-Aid contraptions, but an electric hand mixer is all you need.

STEP 4:

Once your cake mix is all nice and blended, ensure your pan is greased and floured and then pour the pink goo evenly into the pan (I used a 13×9 pan.) I tried to make sure that the pink sludge (SLIME – it’s a river of slime!) covered all the real estate on the bottom of the pan. Get this baby into the oven. Follow the suggested time range on the back of the box. My cake cooked a little over 30 minutes which was slightly longer than directed. When you remove the cake, stick a knife or toothpick into the cake and when you take it out, if there’s batter lingering on it, it needs more time. If it comes out clean, remove the cake and place it somewhere to completely cool off (away from the hot oven.)

STEP 5:

When the cake is fully cooled off (I left it overnight) you can begin the icing process. To replicate the vibrant, multicolored Harley costume with pinks and blues and yellows etc, I suggest picking up at least 3 colors of icing and fun sprinkles. Pink and yellow were my main colors, but I also used cream cheese icing since I read somewhere that Magnolia uses that in their banana pudding. Next, I separated the cake into 3 sections and iced them accordingly. If the cake crumbles at any point, it’s fine, you’re going to need it to do that anyway. When you are all good and iced, pretend you’re Tinkerbell and sprinkle the Pixie Dust all over the cake.

STEP 6:

Take one of your paper dessert cups and begin to form your PINK PUDDIN’. This is not a science by any means, especially since I have absolutely no clue how this is actually made. To me, that’s what makes this great, each dessert cup is a work of art, it’s like Joker fixing the paintings in the Flugelheim Art Museum. Throw a little puddin’ in to start at the bottom, and then throw in a small piece of cake over in this corner, and on that corner make sure there’s some more pudding but ensure there’s an actual banana included, then take a small chunk from another section of the cake to get that multicolored appearance. While you are forming this, use a spoon to mash it together a little bit, all while attempting to keep the colors separated. Once you are reaching the top of the cup, use a spatula or any similar utensil to flatten off the excess and then close it up with the lid and into the fridge it goes until you are ready to enjoy it.

WRAP-UP

I went to the next level to try to make this as accurate as possible, even going to the extent of printing out the actual labels Magnolia used. I used a graphics program to isolate the sticker from a picture I found on Instagram. Then I had to order printer ink because I never use my printer. It was covered in dust! Printed those babies out and taped them right onto the top of the container.  I have to say, this dessert was ridiculously delicious. I know a lot of people hate bananas and anything remotely banana-flavored, but this is a must try. The standout for me was the cake, once the cake sits in the container in the fridge it starts to absorb the flavors of the icing and the pudding and it’s just all so wonderful. It’s a very sweet and rich dessert and I have a feeling it was a pretty close stand-in for the real thing, even though I have no backing to say that. Even if it wasn’t close, getting shut out of a Birds of Prey promotional food tie-in motivated me enough to “do a thing.” I will always have this experience to carry with me now and I was able to share it with you. It’s amazing how getting told NO can make you do some absolutely WILD shit…like turning on your oven!

PURPLE STUFF PODCAST: ICE CREAM EDITION

Posted on by Jay

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!

Pursuit of maintaining childlike wonder requires excitement, even for the simplest things. Submitted for your approval: ICE CREAM.

The newest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is a big one. It’s all about some of the most outstanding ice cream and frozen treats. You need not be an expert on every single offering in your grocer’s freezer or every single Good Humor variation displayed on the side of your neighborhood ice cream truck to enjoy this one. Once you start thinking about your favorite frozen treats from throughout your life, the floodgates open. This is what happened to Matt and I in this episode. There were so many great ones that we had to try to squeeze them all in!

There’s a brain freezing treat awaiting everyone who listens to this one. Maybe you dig Italian ices? Maybe you are a soft serve type of person? Or you may be a fan of one of the more obscure ice pops that was only sold in one section of the world in 1991? No matter what, it’s pretty safe to say that everyone has a special spot for some kind of frozen treat so this one celebrates that. Memories of hot summer days chasing down the ice cream truck will rush back into your mind. Remember when you would eat a colored ice cream pop and your mouth, lips, and tongue all turned that color? Fortunate for us, the summer is almost here so we are celebrating that feeling by digging deep into our memories and telling you all about a slew of our ultimate Ice Cream entries.

In this episode we will touch on everything from shark pops to alien cakes to great balls of ice cream. It’s a creamy and delicious audio compendium of our favorite frozen treats. Please subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music or Podbean, OR you can check it out at the link above!

Sick To Be Square: Reuniting with Entenmann’s Almond Squares

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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Strep throat sucks. I’m not presently afflicted with it right now, but I’ll never forget the first time that I had it. I was about 12 or 13 and it felt like the absolute worst kind of sickness I ever had up to that point in my life. Mostly because for that week or so, eating became an activity that I dreaded.

A chef I am not. A food reviewer? Far from it. But, like most of you, I’m a devourer of food. I enjoy the eating experience. Some people I know like to get it over with as quickly as possible. They’d rather open a compartment in their stomach and just place the food right inside than sit for an hour laboring over a delicious home cooked meal. Not me, I think eating is one of life’s greatest pleasures. To be so familiar with that kind of indulgence and then to have it randomly ripped away from you by a stupid sore throat is not cool. Do I sound over dramatic? Well, it was a severe sore throat, OK?

This might have been the first time that I realized that I was taking food for granted. Not only was I used to savoring my mom’s home cooking on an almost nightly basis, but, after dinner I usually liked to have something sweet. I was never a huge cake person, but if there was a box of anything Entenmann’s in the house, that shit wouldn’t last more than a couple of days. The variety pack of donuts (the one they’ve been selling forever) would be dead meat if it came within a few feet of my radar. Nowadays I don’t crave sweets anywhere near as much, but back then, an Entenmann’s box knew that its days were numbered as soon as it was removed from the plastic A&P bag and set off to the side on the kitchen counter. It was saying Hail Marys and making last minute alterations to its living will. What do you pass down to your niece, the sweet cheese danish?

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The “Ultimate” Almond Squares – now with a layer of Raspberry filling

So, that bout of strep throat brought my appreciation of eating to an abrupt halt. Rather than savoring the delicious dinner that my mother slaved over that evening, I was swallowing what could only be described as a meal of razorblades chased with a tall glass of Everclear. Damn strep throat. Consider yourself very lucky if you’ve never had to deal with this illness. An irritated and throbbing throat is never a welcome feeling, but strangely, it didn’t effect everything I ate.

Obviously, you don’t want to be eating hot buffalo wings with strep throat. Of course, chicken soup and tea with honey and lemon soothes your throat, but not many other meals can be considered good strep throat foods. It was that night that I inadvertently discovered that I was still able to eat and thoroughly enjoy a certain dessert.

My mom went grocery shopping earlier that day. She picked me up some throat lozenges and a few other things to make dinner. She also bought a dessert that she thought I’d like.

The classy white and blue Entenmann’s box was such a tease. The box sat on a slim stretch of counter between the stove and the wall, it couldn’t have been more than a foot wide, and the box nestled into it’s home quite perfectly. For the rest of the day, and through dinner time, my mouth watered desperately for the contents of the Entemann’s box. Why would I even bother indulging in dessert when I could barely eat or drink anything?

These Almond Squares looked so damn good that it was worth risking the most intense throat pain for them. I’m not talking about Hollywood Squares, or Quaker Oatmeal Squares, these were Entenmann’s f’n Almond Squares. Their mystique was legendary. While not as mainstream as their “Crumb Coffee Cake” or their “All Butter Loaf Cake,” I would not be denying myself these evenly cut squares of moist cake, doused in almond flavoring with powdered sugar on top, even if they were considered a mid-card offering.

I was in need of some comfort food. Besides, there was no rule in the house that said because I was sick that I couldn’t eat these. They were fair game and somehow I had it in my head that these wouldn’t annihilate my throat like the rest of the stuff I was ingesting like chicken parm. In fact, a part of me (the batshit insane part of me) thought they might actually heal my throat.

After dinner, I waited until my shows were on, and I switched the black and white TV on that we had in the kitchen, grabbed the box and plopped my sick ass down at the table. I started going to town on these delectably moist and heavenly squares of powdered perfection and all seemed right in the universe. I had almost forgotten that I was even sick. In fact, several squares into my session, I forgot I even had a sore throat!

Could it be? Could these Almond Squares have powers beyond my knowledge that weren’t listed in the ingredients? Shouldn’t Entenmann’s be required by the FDA to list that type of thing on the box? “Enjoy this delicious treat…also, our Almond Squares WILL CURE STREP THROAT.”

Several years later I recalled how much I loved these Almond Squares. It wasn’t just because I was sick and they provided me with some temporary relief. It was because they were actually awesome. I couldn’t imagine a world without them. Every single time my mom went food shopping I asked her to pick them up for me. I guess it wasn’t meant to be though, because the Squares and I never reunited. My mom broke it to me that she was never able to find them again after that.

Not too long after I got my license I was able to drive around on my own to several local grocery stores and even the Entenmanns outlet store in Edison, NJ to see if they had them. Of course, they were nowhere to be found. At that time, the Internet wasn’t even a valuable enough tool to even consider trying to get a straight answer about them, so I just called Entenmanns. The first rep told me they had no idea what I was referring to. The next rep I spoke to later put me on hold and when she returned she explained to me that they haven’t been made in nearly 4 or 5 years and there were no plans for them to return any time soon.

I never gave up my quest. Every time I passed the Entenmann’s display in the grocery store I would check for those tasty little square bastards. Never found them. Then, back in 2007, I decided to give it another shot. I called and e-mailed Entenmann’s. Again the rep told me they no longer made them, which was a piece of info which I had already known for many years. My last hope was the e-mail I sent to them. I waited several weeks, but never received a reply.

On one random day, I checked my mailbox and noticed a letter from Entenmanns. I felt like Clark Griswold in anticipation of opening up the envelope with his Christmas bonus. Would it be a certificate telling me that they were giving me a lifetime supply of Almond Squares for my undying support of their products? Was it an official Entenmann’s Almond Squares Ribbon that I could wear proudly on my jacket lapel? Was it the secret recipe from their vault so I can make them at home? WHAT WAS IT? I tore it open to find out.

What kind of witchcraft was this? A mysterious letter? I actually held it in my hands, it wasn’t an e-mail. It was made if paper and the coupons they slipped into the envelope were obviously made from pure rhodium. The coupons were worth well more than the savings it leads you to believe. Each one weighs 3 lbs.

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What do we got for ’em Johnny? Parting gifts include two Rhodium encrusted limited edition Entenmann’s coupons for $0.40 cents off any of their products. Expires 6/30/08

I could’ve easily expressed my thoughts about this back in 2007, but if I felt like it would be a waste of time because there was no way anyone else would have the same passion as I did to make this into an actual thing. I’m not saying I was going to be orchestrating a campaign or picketing outside Entenmann’s Headquarters to get these squares back on store shelves, but I was absolutely making more noise about these damn Almond Squares than anyone else on the freaking planet, especially nearly 15 years since the last time I remember eating them.

Now, it’s been over 20 years, and as a goof, I figured I’d do a Google search for them. What do you know? A new “Ultimate” version of the squares are available miraculously and nobody from Entenmann’s notified me. I checked the product locator on their site and immediately drove to the nearest store they listed. I picked up 2 packs.

I’m about to eat one now.

They are little different. I can’t officially say for sure, but I don’t remember the original having a layer of raspberry filling in them, but these are now referred to as “Ultimate Almond Squares.” The word Ultimate is possibly there to indicate the inclusion of the raspberry. The almond flavor and the moist consistency is all I remember though. They are still good, but I’m thinking this raspberry filling is an added feature to appeal to the newer, edgier dessert buying crowd. I’m just thankful they’re not Red Velvet Almond Squares. That would be a major sellout.

I have to say that this is the euphoric culmination of a 20 year chase that I had hoped for. Naturally, compared to when I was 13, I’m now able to deal with getting a sore throat better than when I was a kid. I’m forever thankful to Entenmanns Almond Squares for being there by my side to make my first battle with strep throat slightly less torturous.

Check out two other Entenmann’s posts here at The Sexy Armpit:

* Entenamnn’s has been a tradition in the Northeast since 1898 and is now owned by Bimbo Bakeries, USA, the American arm of Mexico’s Grupo Bimbo. http://www.entenmanns.com/

www.SexyArmpit.com

Entenmann’s Pumpkin and Cider Donuts

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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In hopes of finding the annual delicacy of Entenmann’s Halloween Cupcakes at the local Quick Check, I struck out, but found other suitable treats. Listen, I said suitable, not exactly worthy of replacing those delicious cupcakes that even Shawn from Branded in the ’80s lusts after, but still a good find! Entenmann’s Pumpkin and Cider Donuts made their way into my radar and I went for them. There’s 16 donuts here…no way in hell I’ll eat even half of these, but I wanted to taste them. 2 boxes for $6 bucks wasn’t bad.

Taste test time. Poured a mug of milk. Pumpkin was first. Nothing too mind blowing, mild pumpkin flavor, though not as distinct as I was expecting. They sort of remind me of a regular glazed Entenmann’s donunt or Frosted Pop’em, but with cinnamon and pumpkin flavor. Still very good, and more moist and enjoyable than Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Donut.

Cider was next. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, these were actually slightly better than the Pumpkin donuts. Both feature the same type of glaze and softness. It may be because I wasn’t expecting much, but they really surprised me. Usually the apple flavor in other Cider donuts is sickeningly sweet, but here it was just right. These were really friggin’ good and I’d like to inhale another one, but I’m stopping myself.

The problem with Entenmann’s is that everything they make is addicting. Their chocolate chip cookies are my most favorite chocolate chip cookies ever. I can eat a box without even thinking. That’s dangerous because their products aren’t really healthy for ya. Moderation folks. But with these sitting on my counter…it’s too much of a tease. Want to share them with me? By the end of Halloween I’ll probably have gained 10 pounds.

www.SexyArmpit.com

I Actually Baked Betty Crocker Pumpkin Bars!

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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It’s not very often that I get motivated enough to cook or bake. In fact, I don’t think I’ve baked a real dessert in the entire time I’ve lived on my own. My stove collects dust and my oven sometimes opens it’s door to let out cries for attention like “Pleeeease slip a casserole in me,” “C’mon Jay, shove that oiled up pan inside me,” and the very cutting standby “bake some damn cookies you lazy bastard!” Since it’s Pumpkin-mania everywhere it’s too enticing to pass up some of the great desserts while browsing the grocery aisles. On a recent shopping excursion I picked up 2 of possibly the simplest pumpkin flavored desserts to make in history that will serve as a nice treat during the Halloween Countdown.

Betty Crocker’s always been known to help a brother out in the kitchen…and a sister. I really would invest more time into cooking, if I had it, but these powdery concoctions can be made in almost no time at all. By the time I get home from work, cooking is the last thing I want to do. Crap, why would I want to slave over a meal that I’m going to devour in 4 minutes when there’s important programming to enjoy on my DVR?

So, it’s not as rare as Halley’s Comet, but once in a while I do actually cook/bake. This time I decided to bake. Out of the two that I picked up, Betty Crocker’s Pumpkin Bars and Pumpkin Spice Cookies, I obviously opted for the easier to make of the two. Making the dough and then forming the actual cookies out of the dough would’ve been an extra step that I couldn’t be fooling around with. I had other important duties to tend this weekend like watching The Loved Ones and Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Pumpkin Bars it is!

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The directions recommend butter, or a spread that is 65% vegetable oil, so I opted for the slightly healthier option of Smart Balance instead. Melted that up, and threw it in a bowl with the powder mix. Here’s where the hard labor comes in: I mixed that shit up all by myself. My arm was getting sore that’s how serious I was when mixing it. The dough became like a big ball and then I formed it into the baking dish (or pan, whichever you are using). I used a dish since that’s all I had in the condo. Sprayed the dish with fat-free canola oil before throwing in the dough. After about 25 minutes in the oven, I took it out and it looked and smelled excellent.

I was surprised because I was sure it was going to come out looking like a ridiculous globby mess, but it looked really good. Directions said to let it cool completely, so I went back to my movie watching and came back to ice it. The directions also recommend using Betty Crocker Cream Cheese icing, but the store I was in didn’t carry that so I got Pillsbury Cream Cheese icing. The icing job wasn’t stellar, but originally I wasn’t even going to put icing on it so I’m cutting myself some slack.

On my first taste test with a glass of milk, the bars actually came out delicious. When my family jokes around about who really made them, I’ll be honest – Betty Crocker only did half the work. I churned that dough up like I was a friggin’ machine. And I slathered that icing on like I was my 8 year old nephew. These pumpkin bars won’t be sticking around very long, but luckily those cookies will last me through the majority of the Halloween Countdown! 

www.SexyArmpit.com

Today Is Jason’s Birthday…

Posted on by sexyarmpit
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2aMsp3FBcM?rel=0]
Jason Voorhees Birthday is June 13th, 1946

Jason Voorhees must totally feel like Samantha Baker in Sixteen Candles. I forgot today is his birthday. There’s just been a lot going on and sometimes, as people get older, things like this pass us by. I’m going to make it up to him with a post of badass birthday cakes in his likeness! Thanks to user zackzander50 for the video above!

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Take a look at another awesome Jason Cake over at Your Happy Baker. 
Looks like the folks over at that blog won’t be getting hacked up anytime soon!

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I found this one on Tumblr but there was no credit given, so if it’s yours please let me know! 
AWESOME JOB! Jason and his mom will be quite pleased. 

There’s also a red velvet Jason cake posted over at I Really Like Food, which isn’t as good as the others, but still cool. So, happy birthday Jason! I really hope we see you on the big screen again soon. Maybe even in IMAX?

www.SexyArmpit.com

Shamrock Shakedown Giveaway!

Posted on by sexyarmpit

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2 FREE Shamrock Shake cards that have been provided by McDonald’s will go out to 2 Random winners!
TO ENTER:
subject: SHAMROCK
If you are chosen we will reach out to you for your mailing address
WINNERS ANNOUNCED ON 3/7/12

Many folks in New Jersey are pissed off that the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Hoboken is cancelled this year. Things usually get pretty out of hand so the city is taking a break from it. I don’t get involved in parades because they bore the shit out of me. Drinking tons of beer is of course fun, but not with thousands of other drunken boozers roaming the streets and getting behind the wheel. Aside from eating a bowl of me Lucky Charms, I have other plans this St.Patrick’s Day.

I don’t really participate in the yearly resurgence of corned beef and cabbage, but I need MINT in my life constantly. Usually the one time of year that everything becomes MINT is in March because St. Patrick’s Day turns everything green and green often means MINT! There’s no better mint offering than mint ice cream! And since I’m obsessed with using straws, The Shamrock Shake is like a magic pot of gold for me.

In addition to consistently bringing back the McRib, McDonald’s has been keeping it real with their classic Shamrock Shake as well. The best part: they are now available nationwide, not just in select mystery locations. Just as I write this, as the Irish say, I’m really gummin’ for a Shamrock Shake. The only thing that would make the shake experience even better is if McD’s was offering this green delicacy in  Uncle O’Grimacey collector cups! Now, REMEMBER, you only have until MARCH 25th before the Shamrock Shakes disappear, so get your arses to McD’s to enjoy one!

www.SexyArmpit.com

I’ve Got Cookies Out The Ass!!!

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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The Official Cookie of The Sexy Armpit

The holidays usually bring about an unusual amount of pie. Do you like PIE? Well call me a savage, but I actually prefer cookies…home baked if I have the choice. Well what do you know, just in time for Thanksgiving, Miss Sexy Armpit surprised me and put a little twist on my favorite cookies of all time and incorporated The Sexy Armpit color scheme into them! My family has always called them Venetian cookies, but they are also referred to as seven layer cookies, and making them is a pretty laborious task. The Sexy Armpit colors gave these cookies that added rush of flavor, even if it was just in my mind. There’s nothing like the official cookie of The Sexy Armpit for the finale of a huge delicious home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

Here are a few different links with recipes for these cookies:

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Also on the cookie front, a while back on Twitter my good ol’ pal Darius Whiteplume of one of my favorite blogs, Adventures of Nerdliness, tweeted about some Smurf Animal Crackers that he picked up in the store. Even though they are called crackers, they will always be cookies to me. The Smurf movie has since came and went and I think I may have been one of 12 people who actually kind of enjoyed it. My niece and nephew even seemed pretty bored by it when I took them to see it. Meanwhile Darius kept in mind that I mentioned I wanted to try these gimmick animal crackers, but I had a hard time finding them so he sent me a box of both the strawberry and Smurfberry varieties of the cookies. They are actually pretty damn tasty. I’m thinking of crushing them up and putting them in a bowl of milk to try to recreate Smurfberry Crunch. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Thanks to Darius and Miss Sexy Armpit for the surprise treats!

www.SexyArmpit.com

Pumpkin Spice Milk and The F.M.A.O.A

Posted on by sexyarmpit

Pumpkin Spice MilkAs the blogosphere’s resident flavored milk reviewer, I felt it was necessary to issue a statement regarding my opinion on Upstate Farm’s Fall treat, Pumpkin Spice milk.

Bloggers usually go through their experimental phase early on. They get it out of their system and go back to what has brought them success. As a note to rookie bloggers out there: writing about flavored milk WILL NOT GET YOU HITS. This is just what I do. It’s not a one-shot. By understanding that, it will help you gain insight into my burning passion for flavored milk. There are at least 12 – 13 people around the country that actually are interested in trying one of the flavored milks that I’ve reviewed, but they are a little on the apprehensive side. Now they now have a frame of reference.

I know what the few flavored milk maniacs want. I’m tuned in to the flavored milk community. We have a bi-annual board meeting in California and the FMAOA have asked me to be the keynote speaker again. If you are unsure what that acronym stands for, it’s the Flavored Milk Aficionados of America. I’ll be leaking some info here, but I’ll bend the rules abit. I wasn’t supposed to reveal my thoughts on this Pumpkin Spice milk yet, but since you’re reading, I’ll get a little crazy. At first, I’ll admit I was disappointed with the taste because I failed to read the label properly and was under the impression it was merely just Pumpkin flavored. Boy did I screw that one up! Failing to read the full description fouled up my entire tasting experience.

Once I realized that I was drinking PUMPKIN PIE flavored milk, it was an entirely different beast. Plain old artificial pumpkin flavoring would be amateur stuff. Once the pumpkin spice kicked in my mouth it immediately felt like I was drinking liquid pumpkin pie. The flavor is very accurate and the texture is smooth and velvety without being too thick. There’s nothing worse than trying to drink pancake batter although it may not be a bad idea for a flavored milk. My only complaint is that there was a bit of a vanilla note that distracted a bit from the pumpkin. As I’ve written in previous posts, I prefer drinking my desserts, it’s just less work. Not sure if Pumpkin Spice milk will appeal to any of you, but it came just in time for my month long Halloween celebration and I recommend it to those of you who occasionally like to pass on the brew and enjoy a cold flavored milk now and then.

Read my reviews of other flavored milks:
www.SexyArmpit.com

Entenmann’s Halloween Cupcakes

Posted on by sexyarmpit
Entenmann's Halloween Cupcakes

Halloween time brings annual traditions that I look forward to all year. Although some of my traditions get tossed so far back in my memory banks that they only pop into my head once October rolls around. The last day of September already reminded me of the greatest Halloween treat known to mankind, Entenmann’s Halloween Cupcakes. I could just picture Sam from Trick r’ Treat devouring these luscious little things.

If I wanted to let myself go and negate all the times I’ve forced myself to go to the gym, I would eat Entenmann’s cakes, cookies, and pastries 4-6 times a day. But I’d say I eat them twice a year. Once a year I get the burning desire for their soft chocolate chip cookies which are the best cookies of all time, and during Halloween time, if they can be found in stores, their Halloween cupcakes! I’ve been eating these for many years and each year they seem to get more popular because they vanish from shelves so quickly.

What’s so great about these cupcakes is that they are just jam packed with Halloween goodness. Think back to when you were young. How many products had Halloween gimmicks? I remember there being a lot more than there is now. There were cereals, desserts, sodas, and of course candy with Halloween or monster themes. Now the Halloween gimmicks are scarce in grocery stores. The box art and the visibility of the actual cupcakes through top of the box makes them eye catching, especially for those of us who are always on the lookout for cool Halloween finds.

Represented in the cupcakes are many facets of the Halloween season. Most noticeable is the orange colored icing in honor of Halloween which is NOT flavored orange, it’s just colored that way. Then, what really seals the deal and gives them the extra Halloween kick is the few candy corns sprinkled on top. The candy corn flavor puts them over the top. It was criminal to see that one cupcake in my box lacked candy corn completely, a glaring flaw that would’ve made me put them down and take another box. Unfortunately, I was in possession of the only box left in Quick Chek. Back to the subtle levels of the cupcake. Much like how The Dude’s rug really brought the room together, hiding secretively underneath the icing is a layer of rich, soft chocolate frosting that is so damn delicious. You don’t expect there to be a coating of chocolate underneath the icing, but when you chomp down on one you’ll be in heaven. The chocolate smothers a moist, golden cupcake that isn’t lost underneath the sweet mound of sugary joy.

Like I said, these won’t help if you’re on a diet or on a strict workout regimen, but they will help keep your sanity. Entenmann’s Halloween cupcakes are one of life’s great pleasures so you don’t have to feel guilty if you only indulge a few times a year! The fact that they only come out during October makes their yearly appearance that much more of an event.

www.SexyArmpit.com