The 10 Best Pics of Rowdy Roddy Piper and Jay From Monster Mania Con 28!

With the summer installment of Monster Mania in the history books, the countdown to Halloween is fast-approaching. Although it’s a horror convention, my mind never associates it with the onset of the Halloween season. Not sure why, but when you think about it, in merely a matter of days, Dinosaur Dracula will be signaling to all that the countdown is on. Halloween is right around the corner, yet this is still a summer event, one that’s ripe for escorting the sweltering season directly out the door without passing go. Good riddance to you summer, I say. Oh, I suppose you want to know more about Monster Mania? OK, I’ll give you all I can remember.

Let me get this out from the get-go: we didn’t get drunk with the Joker and Freddy Krueger like we did that other time, but once again, the forces of Dinosaur Dracula, Freddy in Space, and The Sexy Armpit came together and had quite an interesting time to say the least. It’s a scene not for the faint of heart. You’d probably like to know all about our sordid Monster Mania tales from this time around, but we’ve got to keep some decorum here, plus, details are fuzzy. Put it this way, there was a lot of liquor and VHS tapes involved. And Tom Bryce’s pretzels. It was a veritable Shit Pretzel Fest.

As I mentioned, it’s a little foggy, but the bits of this event that I do remember include buying a Princess Bride poster AND more monumentally, meeting Rowdy Roddy Piper. With the Hot Rod in New Jersey, how could I miss the chance to meet one of my favorite WWE Legends of all time?

I think I must’ve gained a lifetime membership to the club. You know that club, Those Who’ve Met Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper Within a Matter of Days From Each Other Club. It’s not the kind of braggable anecdote as say, being in the mile high club, but it’s a tidbit that’ll most certainly be engraved in my headstone.

While waiting on line I noticed Piper was smiling and taking his time to talk with every one of his fans. Fortunately, Matt (@DinosaurDracula) arrived, grabbed my phone and snapped over 20 photos to make damn sure we commemorated this historic meeting of the minds. It was a nearly impossible task to narrow it down, but here are the top 10 best photos of Hot Rod and I from our impromptu photo shoot. Some of the shots are different, yet so completely the same.

As they were swiping through these photos on my phone, a few of my friends and family members asked what I talked to Piper about. Seeing 20+ photos of he and I prompted one of my friends to ask “how long was he talking to you for?” No joke, it had to be at least 35 minutes. There were “BULLSHIT” chants coming from the people in line behind me. To be clear, we didn’t talk wrestling, we didn’t talk They Live, and we damn sure didn’t talk politics. But he did offer me a recipe. It’s just like good old Hot Rod, recipes are so typical of him. You can see how good he is with a blender in that episode of Legends House. Piper vs. The Blender, a feud that can only be rivaled by Hogan/Piper.

The blur was actually present in the room. It eventually dissipated, but, at first, it was like The Mist.

“Hey Hot Rod! How exciting it is to meet you!”

“Hey, thank you man, what’s your name?” 

“I’m Jay.”

“Jay, I love that shirt!” 
(I’m wearing the Panther shirt that Roddy wore to the ring in the early ’80s.)
“It’s classic! I’m about 6 tequilas in, so excuse me if I sound like it.”

“Ohhhohoo, so you want to be a big shot don’t ya?”
“Well, not really, I just wanted to get drunk with my friends.”

“Now that you mention it, you are lookin’ a little bit under the weather, You know what, I know exactly what you need. It’s what I used to make when I was oh, knee high to a grasshopper.”

“Specifically, what kind of concoction are you going to supply me with the recipe for, Roddy? Not that raw egg in the blender gimmick that Hulk gave Mean Gene I hope!”
(Just when he thought he had all the answers, I obviously changed the questions.) 
“Now, don’t insult me kid or I’ll crack your head with a coconut, trust me you’ll want to listen to the information I’m about to lay out for you.”

“I’m all ears, Hot Rod.”
“Do you remember once upon a time when that little meatball Rachel Ray’s cooking show was a hot commodity? Well it can’t touch Mixology with Rowdy Roddy!
“I’m confused, are you saying you’re changing the name of Piper’s Pit?”
“Listen up, stop your lips from yapping for one minute. If you want to be big time, you’re gonna have one of these with me”
Piper proceeds to instruct me on how to concoct a Hot Roddy.
“Ever hear your grandmother talk about drinking a Hot Toddy when she was sick? Well, this is what I call a Hot Roddy.”
“I assume it can cure what ails ya…or ails me. After all the drinking and partying at Monster Mania so far, this is just what I needed. Some kind of an elixir to rejuvenate me.”
“You’re damn right, and remember Jay, this drink ain’t FOR EVERYBODY, but if you want a banana have a banana, us, we gonna have ourselves a Hot Roddy.”

Oh no…
Oh no, what?

Oh no…who is that taking our picture? Please don’t tell me it’s that damn motherf*ckin’ Dino Drac, that sonofabitch! OK, OK, that’s enough pictures, you know where you can stick those VHS tapes! This is the last picture and then get that photographer the hell out of here!

I have come here to show you at least 10 photos and kick ass, and I’m all out of photos.

Blue, Blue Wine!

F*ck politics. The Sexy Armpit is no place for politics, although it’s appropriate that I mention that New Jersey is a blue state. We’re not just a blue state because of our democratic leanings, but also because we’re known for our blueberries. In the song “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant,” Billy Joel sings about “a bottle of red, a bottle of white,” but what if Billy was feeling patriotic and wanted to cap off his bender with a bottle of blue? Jersey Wine can make that happen with their Blueberry wine which I picked up the other day and tried it with Miss Sexy Armpit.


I’m far from a wine drinker, but I’m totally a sucker for gimmicks. For those of us who aren’t into wine, Chianti or Pinot Noir doesn’t mean a damn thing, but show me a variety of fruit flavors and I might just fall for it. The liquor store at the local Wegman’s had a display of Jersey Wine which is made from Jersey grown grapes, or in this case blueberries. Out of the various flavors and varieties staring back at me, I went for the blueberry since it was a flavor of wine that I’ve never tasted. I’ve had cherry and several others, but they’re all too sweet for me nowadays. Not sure why I thought blueberry would be any different, but I wanted to support the local wine company.

After bringing the bottle home, we let it chill in the fridge for a few days since that’s what the label instructs. Last night it was time for the taste test. In the back of my mind I knew it wasn’t going to be a life changing experience, but I figured it was worth a shot. It was merely a coincidence that Miss Sexy Armpit had a new glass that she wanted to christen. What better way for her to taste this fruity concoction than in this hand painted Jersey Girl wine glass by Lolita that her mom found at Macy’s!


On my first sip, the blueberry flavor was prominent, but so was the sweetness. The taste wasn’t overly sweet, but it was still a few levels too sweet for my liking. It lacked any bite which was nice, but drinking one small glass was quite enough for me. The fruit flavor would be good for a mixed drink, but the problem is that blueberry is a novelty flavor and isn’t used much in mixed drinks, or elsewhere, so I don’t see it taking the world by storm. It’s probably best used as an after dinner drink. If you enjoy blueberry and prefer your wine sweet, then I recommend this, but otherwise I’d pick up one of their more mainstream varieties. If you want something with more kick, another alternative is to buy the Jersey Wine Chianti and make the Jersey Girls drink that’s painted on the bottom of the wine glass:


The Jersey Girl Wine Glass is available at this link via Designs by Lolita 
(A Martini glass is also available.)

I’ve Got Cookies Out The Ass!!!

The Official Cookie of The Sexy Armpit

The holidays usually bring about an unusual amount of pie. Do you like PIE? Well call me a savage, but I actually prefer cookies…home baked if I have the choice. Well what do you know, just in time for Thanksgiving, Miss Sexy Armpit surprised me and put a little twist on my favorite cookies of all time and incorporated The Sexy Armpit color scheme into them! My family has always called them Venetian cookies, but they are also referred to as seven layer cookies, and making them is a pretty laborious task. The Sexy Armpit colors gave these cookies that added rush of flavor, even if it was just in my mind. There’s nothing like the official cookie of The Sexy Armpit for the finale of a huge delicious home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

Here are a few different links with recipes for these cookies:


Also on the cookie front, a while back on Twitter my good ol’ pal Darius Whiteplume of one of my favorite blogs, Adventures of Nerdliness, tweeted about some Smurf Animal Crackers that he picked up in the store. Even though they are called crackers, they will always be cookies to me. The Smurf movie has since came and went and I think I may have been one of 12 people who actually kind of enjoyed it. My niece and nephew even seemed pretty bored by it when I took them to see it. Meanwhile Darius kept in mind that I mentioned I wanted to try these gimmick animal crackers, but I had a hard time finding them so he sent me a box of both the strawberry and Smurfberry varieties of the cookies. They are actually pretty damn tasty. I’m thinking of crushing them up and putting them in a bowl of milk to try to recreate Smurfberry Crunch. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Thanks to Darius and Miss Sexy Armpit for the surprise treats!

Get Tanked This Weekend…SHARK Tanked!

Selected from the Drink Menu
If you’re in Atlantic City and you are looking for a place to eat but you aren’t interested in paying $50 dollars a plate, head over to The Reflections Cafe at Harrah’s. It’s a pretty swank moderately priced restaurant that also features a noodle bar that serves all kinds of Asian dishes. The decor amused me, especially the cool and furry cow skin chairs and booths tucked into coves with slate walls . Whoever decorated the place needs to come and redo my condo. Out of the several times I have eaten there, the food has been delicious. They also managed to supply me with an entry for Shark Month. The drink menu has the Shark Bite which you can try mixing up at home when you’re getting hammered this weekend. The drink provides a cool visual effect of “blood in the water” when you drop in the final ingredient.
Shark Bite
Captain Morgan 
Bacardi Rum
Blue Curacao
Sweet and Sour Mix
Small Splash of Grenadine

Jersey Girl Cocktail

beverage,jersey girl,new jersey
from the menu of Windansea in Highlands, NJ

After having dinner at Windansea in Highlands, NJ recently, I noticed The Jersey Girl was the first specialty drink listed on the menu. If you’re feeling creative, here’s the ingredients to make your very own Jersey Girl drink. Keep in mind, this sounds super sweet so it will most likely cause hangovers galore.
Laird’s Applejack

Triple Sec

Pineapple Juice

Cranberry Juice

Lemon-Lime Soda