KISS Slot Machines Now In Atlantic City, NJ!

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For a while Miss Sexy Armpit and I thought that we’d have to go back to Vegas to play the new KISS slot machines, but this weekend we were proven wrong! It was a big surprise to see them at Harrah’s resort which was awesome.

Visually the machines look badass. The game play itself isn’t anything out of the ordinary, but naturally, it’s KISS-ified. There are a few different bonus games, but after playing 2 different machines, none of them popped up! BOO! One of the neighboring machines had a few bonuses so we were able to check them out. They were pretty cool and showed some concert footage and had you choose from various album covers to unlock more credits or another bonus game. The game plays a few KISS songs. The ones we heard included “Detroit Rock City,” and “I Was Made For Loving You.”
I’m happy that KISS is finally represented in Atlantic City. So far we’ve got Batman, Ghostbusters, The Phantom, Playboy, and now KISS. Not too many more left – I’m pretty happy with the selection!

Great Geek Gorge #1

Geeks need their gratification. Just as the wise men brought baby Jesus gifts, and ancient peeps sacrificed stuff up to the Gods, in the case of geeks the world over, they also need to be indulged or they get a little cranky. Here’s a little rundown of stuff that has satisfied my voracious geek appetite. In this first installment you’ll read about things I’ve added to my collection lately, things I’d like to add to my collection, things I’ve recently received as gifts, food I’ve chowed down on, and events I’m planning to attend.


1. My 2nd favorite film of the Marvel franchise is Thor. My future mom-in-law got me this awesome Thor Pez dispenser! I have a small collection of Pez dispensers and this one fits in nicely beside Captain Jack Sparrow, Darth Vader, and The Incredible Hulk.

2. For my birthday my Dad got me the entire collection of The Muppet Show on DVD! Watching these shows is going to bring back so many memories!


3. Who doesn’t like stuffing their face once in a while? The absolute BEST place to do that in New Jersey is at Harrah’s Resort Waterfront buffet in Atlantic City. That is where you will find The Absolute Greatest Brownies of All Time (among other delicious offerings.)

4. This might fall into the “why the hell did you buy that” category, but I’ve actually been following the production of The Witches of Oz for a long time. I tried watching it and it really isn’t that good, but as a fan of Wizard of Oz and Return to Oz, I thought I might like this. Until the upcoming 3-D production of Dorothy of Oz comes out in a few years, I’ll take what I can get. Clearly it shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same paragraph as those previous films since it’s on the level of The Asylum productions, but alas, I took a chance on it anyway. If you’re thinking of checking this out, take into consideration that I saw Wicked on Broadway and didn’t enjoy that either.

5. The Batman Files. When this ultimate book of Batman first came out it was priced at upwards of $100 dollars at some book stores. I’ve splurged more cash on sillier things, but for some reason I was hesitant on picking this book up. It was wise to wait because, as always, there was a pretty hefty price drop on the book. I got the book at less than half price. If you’re interested – type it into Google shopping. Well worth it for hardcore Batman fans.


6. You know how people say “There’s no such thing as bad pizza?” Well, I feel the same way about Doritos. Even the lamest gimmick Doritos, like the mystery flavor a few years back, were fine by me. I can’t really get behind Doritos Jacked though. The whole idea behind them negates what Doritos are all about. They made these chips harder to create more of a crunch, but I’d rather not break my teeth, thank you. And even though they amped up the amount of Dorito dust on these suckers, the actual chip is twice the size of a normal Dorito chip. They are more like the size of a restaurant style Tortilla chip. You need to take a few bites of one chip rather than stuff a whole chip in your mouth. Bah. Whatever. If you’re going to try them, I suggest the Smoky Chipotle BBQ flavor if you’re into that type of thing.

7. Mighty Man and Yukk. One of my favorite cartoons of my childhood. The concept is completely insane. This dudes dog is so ugly that the dog has to wear a doghouse on his head and the the dude shrinks down to a super tiny size and becomes a superhero. Totally ridiculous, but I love it and have been looking for it literally forever. Found a collection of every episode on DVD taped off of Boomerang. I’ll take what I can get considering there hasn’t been an official release.

8. Finally my friends in one of my favorite bands The Dirty Pearls are celebrating the release of their debut full length album at the Gramercy Theatre in New York City on May 5th! The Dirty Pearls will be performing along with Star Killer and other special guests! If you don’t have plans for Cinco De Mayo or you are tired of the typically mobbed parties at the local Jose Tejas. GET YOUR TICKETS HERE:

Straight No Chaser “Surfer Girl” Jersey Style


If there’s ever a point where I admit something, I go all the way. Have you ever had a hard time admitting you were wrong and delivered one of those very weak, lame apologies? Well, I’m not like that at all, I go big with it.

Even though I had not seen the a cappella group STRAIGHT NO CHASER until this post, I was convinced that I A) Wouldn’t have a good time at an a Capella concert 2) There was no way these guys were anywhere near as amazing as their glowing reviews that I was being bombarded by. After seeing them at Harrah’s in Atlantic City, I was so blown away that I told everyone who urged me to see them how wrong I was and how it was probably in the top 10 best musical performances I’ve ever seen live in a concert setting. That’s a serious statement since the number of live concerts, cover bands, and other groups I’ve seen is probably in the thousands by now…seriously.

One aspects of Straight No Chaser’s performance that I thought was cool is how they discuss places and times in history, and basically how they effected the music they are performing. As they moved into Beach Boys territory it brought to mind the shores of California, but they turned it on it’s head! Sure, hopping in your woody and running down to the beach with your long board was popular in the ’60s on the WEST COAST, but what shore is most popular right now? That’s right…THE JERSEY SHORE! Somehow, even though they are a bunch of guys from Indiana, their supreme creativity and harmonization skills managed to incorporate a New Jersey theme into The Beach Boys classic “Surfer Girl.” The clip is posted above so you can see for yourself. I took my own video but I was further away so YouTube user DaisyKary came through with the video.

Check out Straight No Chaser’s official site where you can get CD’s, Merch, Tour Dates at

Thanks to Christine on Twitter (@LovedeAcappela) for keeping on my ass about getting this follow up post published!

Straight No Chaser at Harrah’s in Atlantic City


Rock, metal, pop, new wave, I enjoy it all, except for a capella. It’s not like I loathe a capella music, it’s more of the fact that I’d rather just hear songs the way they were originally recorded. So, it was ironic that for the past couple of years there’s been an ongoing joke I’ve had with Miss Sexy Armpit about the a capella band Straight No Chaser. I knew nothing about these guys except for the fact that they were appearing every damn place I went. If I was walking down a hallway, leaning up against a wall, or surfing the net, I would somehow encounter Straight No Chaser, without fail, especially while in Atlantic City.

You can’t really go anywhere in A.C without hearing this group mentioned. I grew so sick of hearing about them that I started working them into everything I said to point out how ludicrous their name sounded. Soon I met up with one of my best friends for pizza (Sciortino’s if you’re wondering) and he started gushing about how amazing this singing group was who he saw perform in Atlantic City a few weeks prior. Of course, it was Straight No Chaser which made me laugh. I couldn’t escape these guys! I still wasn’t sold. 
On top of all that, Miss Armpit informed me that she got us a couple of tickets to their Back To The Shore concert at Harrah’s during Labor Day weekend. I appeased her and said “I’ll go,” even though I was less than enthusiastic about it. Fast forward a day or two later and even my parents came home from a weekend trip to A.C totally raving about the time they had at a recent Straight No Chaser show. I needed to check these guys out to see what all the fuss was about.

SNC are an all dude a capella group from Indiana who have tremendous voices and harmonize flawlessly. They perform a wide range of cover songs, all of which you are familiar with, from pop songs to TV theme songs. The band recreates all the vocals, background music, and sounds you hear in the original song purely using their voices. Now I’m trusting all the high praise that I’ve heard about them and looking forward to the show! Tickets are available at the link above.

Here’s SNC live in A.C with medley’s of BRUCE and Bon Jovi courtesy of YouTuber DaisyKary:


Get Tanked This Weekend…SHARK Tanked!

Selected from the Drink Menu
If you’re in Atlantic City and you are looking for a place to eat but you aren’t interested in paying $50 dollars a plate, head over to The Reflections Cafe at Harrah’s. It’s a pretty swank moderately priced restaurant that also features a noodle bar that serves all kinds of Asian dishes. The decor amused me, especially the cool and furry cow skin chairs and booths tucked into coves with slate walls . Whoever decorated the place needs to come and redo my condo. Out of the several times I have eaten there, the food has been delicious. They also managed to supply me with an entry for Shark Month. The drink menu has the Shark Bite which you can try mixing up at home when you’re getting hammered this weekend. The drink provides a cool visual effect of “blood in the water” when you drop in the final ingredient.
Shark Bite
Captain Morgan 
Bacardi Rum
Blue Curacao
Sweet and Sour Mix
Small Splash of Grenadine

The Atlantic City Food & Wine Festival

Atlantic City Food & Wine Festival 2009

Do you enjoy watching Guy Fieri, Tom Colicchio, and Ingrid Hoffman? Then you should have been at the Atlantic City Food and Wine Festival that took place all weekend at Harrah’s, Bally’s, Showboat, and Caesar’s. If you couldn’t make it, The Sexy Armpit was there to experience it for you. Oh and some guy named Emeril Lagasse was there too. Now, I’m no Tommy Salami (he’s my Guy Fieri), but allow me to recount the trip, from breakfast through dinner.

Our attempt at a nights sleep at Harrah’s was interrupted by some maniac screaming at his girlfriend in a nearby room at 2 a.m and trying to break a door down, while we were also graced by having a troop of guidos staying in the connecting room who never learned how to speak at normal decibel levels. By some miracle, my girlfriend and I did manage to get some rest in between all the Riff Raff. If only Riff Raff was in an adjacent room maybe we’d actually be invited to get up in the middle of the night to do the time warp with him again.

I was opposed to eating breakfast because I knew we’d be in for a day of engorging ourselves with a variety of different kinds of food and liquor. My girlfriend convinced me that we would need some breakfast because we wouldn’t be eating for a while. I caved in. We went downstairs to the Sack O’ Subs in Harrah’s and placed our order for breakfast. I was excited to find out that they offer wheat wraps as an alternative to regular sub rolls. It’s become a standing joke with my friends at work that I ask if they have “wheat wraps,” everywhere we go, as in “Yo, you got wheat wraps?” in my best, albeit unintentional, Nick Moore from Family Ties impression. “Ay, yo Mallory, you got some wheat wraps?” Roasted peppers and eggs on a wheat wrap was my breakfast of choice and damn it was delicious. It was cooked up perfectly, and I dabbed on what tasted like hot pepper relish that was in little clear containers stacked by the pickup counter. Sack O’Subs’ lineage can be traced back to the legendary White House Sub Shop in A.C which opened in 1947.

It was on to Bally’s where Sunday’s chapter of the Food and Wine Festival was happening. The line to get in was intimidating at first, but it went quickly. Before we knew it we had our wristbands and wine glasses and we were about to wreck house. An interesting tidbit about me is that when I go into these trade show type events, I tend to pretend that I’m in a first person shooter. I want to annihilate each table and leave dust in my path. I have no time for dilly dallying. If mofos want to linger around and ask silly questions then I’m taking my sample and moving on! To make the whole event go quicker, why don’t they just sit me down somewhere and bring me all the samples? That would be a cool overload, which is rare.

From Pinot Noir samples to Magic Hat brews, I downed it. I don’t even drink that much, but we were there and it was free. As I walked through the aisles I wondered how it was possible that people weren’t aware of some of these brands. For instance, does Blue Moon beer really need to advertise and give out free samples? It doesn’t seem like they’re hurting considering every girl and every girly man I know LOVES sipping it. To me, I don’t care if your drinking gourmet beer, strawberry flavored beer, milk stout, or Mr. Fancy Pants Oatmeal Brew…it’s still f–king beer. Beer’s been around for an eon without having all these exotic additives, so let’s cut the crap OK? Of course, I’m joking if you love Blue Moon, you’re NOT a girly man, but on the other hand, I may very well be. Perhaps the best drink I tasted all day was a Pina Colada from Bally’s Bikini Beach bar which was graciously served to me by a young girl in a teenie weenie bikini. Those are the best kind. It was possibly the greatest Pina Colada I’ve ever had.


As for the actual food, there were only a few products that left a big impression on me. All you need to do to get my attention is put “Jersey” in your ad or sign and I’ll stop in my tracks and squint my eyes like Batman does in the intro to Batman the Animated Series after targeting some thugs. And coincidentally, “weed” is also a grabber, so when I saw the sign that said “Get Your WEED at the Jersey Shore” I naturally stopped in my tracks for a taste test of southern style Jeremiah Weed’s Flavored Iced Tea Vodka on the rocks (nothin’ to do with the pigtailed cowgirl with the bare midriff, of course). The flavor I tasted combined two of my favorite drinks, Iced Tea and Bourbon. Scarily easy to drink, it’ll probably sneak up on you and make you sick without even realizing it because it tastes so good. Go easy on it!


The award for best chili ever goes to Pistol Pete’s Steakhouse and Saloon in Pleasantville, NJ. I gulped down a sample cup of chili that the guys at the their table handed to me, and I was immediately sold. Just by that tiny portion I was able to savor the chunkiness and intense flavors their Chili had. Literally amazing. The next time I’m in A.C, that’s where I’m going for dinner.


Unfortunately we weren’t able to get into the show Guy Fieri was running, but we were able to sit in on Aaron Song’s demo. I’m like a 5 year old, aside from cartoons and pro wrestling, I actually don’t watch much TV, so I had no idea who “The Asian Guy” from Hell’s Kitchen was. Sweating profusely, Song was entertaining as he cooked, when he wasn’t being buried by fellow chef Guy Mitchell who was clearly trying to live out his dreams of being the next David Letterman. Regardless of his culinary accomplishments, Mitchell had no business with a microphone, especially considering the extremely racist Chinese and Japanese jabs he continuously took at Song (he didn’t even know the difference between Chinese and Japanese). Damn Emeril for making these cooks think they’re all entertaining! This wacky chef routine is getting old! Next thing you know we’ll be heading to the Stress Factory where they feature Stand-Up Chefs. Instead of one liners, he’ll throw appetizers at you. In between his shtick, Song whipped up macadamia encrusted scallops drizzled with wasabi verblanc sauce and asparagus rolled in Italian pancetta. Champagne was also handed out like it was gatorade on the sidelines of a New York Giants game.


Ketchup has always been my favorite condiment, even to the extent of finding it in my stocking on Christmas morning, but barbecue sauce is in my top 3. You can’t really lose when it comes to barbecue sauce because they all have strong points. There aren’t many BAD barbecue sauces out there, some are serviceable and do the trick, while others bowl your mouth over and make you want to jump into the bottle and bathe in the sauce. Upon sampling two pieces of meat dunked in the sweet and spicy versions of Funni Bonz barbecue sauce, it made me want to grab a basting brush and start lathering myself up with it. The only thing that comes close to comparing the feeling I got when I came in contact with this sauce is when Saul first introduces Dale to the Pineapple Express weed in Pineapple Express. Saul hands Dale the bag of bud and tells him to smell it:

DALE: Ohhhhh!
SAUL: what do you want to bathe in it?
DALE: I just want to live in here
SAUL: Yes, you want to BE it?
DALE: Oh my God! I just want to shove it up my nose and have that smell all day! That’s amazing…
SAUL: Shove it anywhere you’d like.

Later, after trudging through torrential downpours on our drive home, we dunked some delicious breaded chicken in both the spicy and sweet sauces that I bought. I was literally licking the spoon as if we had just made chocolate chip cookies. Do your damndest to get your hands on several jars of Funni Bonz BBQ sauce! The company was founded by 2 best friends from New Jersey. For more visit or

I left this event with one complaint. If you’re an exhibitor or salesman for a company at this festival, you need to step up your game. When it comes to food and alcohol, you need to be smooth. People want free stuff when they go to these events, not to be given the hard sell. When they get samples and free swag, they’re more apt to recommend your product to friends. So if I hear you utter the phrase “You want to buy some?” it’s probable that I won’t. I want to hear information as to why I want your product in or around my mouth. Fill my ear with the subtle nuances that make your product better than its competitors. Does it have natural ingredients? Damn, do I have to do your jobs for ya?

The Atlantic City Food and Wine Festival has been going on since 2007, and judging by this years expansive event, it will only get bigger. If you find yourself watching Food Network constantly and you have an appreciation for fine cuisine and liquor, then make it a point to be a part of it next year!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 11: Atlantic City

Let’s take a look at 3 different Atlantic City shirts for this weeks installment of NJ T-Shirt Tuesday. It’s being said that Atlantic City is hurting and people aren’t gambling as much due to the economy, but every time I’m down there it doesn’t look that way to me! The casino’s are typically jam packed, especially on the weekend or when there’s a great concert going on at The Borgata. If you don’t believe me, jump on the parkway and head down there yourself!

The first shirt I found is a vintage ’70s black T-shirt that says “Atlantic City Board Walk Where the Stars Come Out.” It looks as if it was sold in one of those cheesy stores on the boardwalk that sells a bunch of crap and uses a hermit crab display as it’s way to sucker you into the store. Ahh, the Jersey Shore…classy. This one is available at Bonanzle. Oh, and don’t bother looking for the stars that supposedly come out to the A.C Boardwalk because no celebrity in their right mind would be roaming around the boardwalk, they’d be playing craps or in the lush suites at Harrah’s and The Borgata.

The next 2 offerings come from Retro Duck. I was pleased to see the unique designs on these old school decals as well as the various styles of shirts you can choose from.

The orange long sleeve tee matched with this sunny A.C decal. Available here.

The A.C Monkey is smokin’, drinkin’ and chillin’ and is available here.
RetroDuck has some cool designs for sure, but the unfortunate part about their site is that most of their shirt are created with custom ironed on decals. If you’re a t-shirt connoisseur like me, I’m sure you know all about the inevitable fate of these decals after several washings. Even with proper care and air drying, these babies are bound to deteriorate, but the decal is part of the appeal. I give credit to Retro Duck for selling these obscure vintage looking A.C shirts!

Brooke Hogan’s 21st Birthday in New Jersey


Is Atlantic City hurting that bad? They’ve stooped to dropping the atomic leg drop on Brooke Hogan in order to convince her to celebrate her 21st birthday at Harrah’s Resort. How many people dropping nickels into machines in Atlantic City are interested in VH1’s Brooke Knows Best? How many of their kids are even interested in that show? VH1 is a station that prides themselves on Bret Michaels being their golden boy. Are young girls watching Daisy of Love and Charm School with their 40-something moms? I hope not or this country has gone down the tubes completely.

I don’t think I’m out of line in saying that Brooke Hogan is NOT a draw in any way. Now, Paris Hilton on the other hand, despite her bevy of haters, IS a traditional draw in Atlantic City. Hmm, let’s weigh in: Brooke is the uninteresting daughter of the O.J Simpson co-conspirator Hulk Hogan and Paris Hilton is best known for being a media whore and a lame sex tape actress. Just based on the sex tape alone I’d have to go with hosting Paris’ bday instead. Somehow I think Brooke would be more successful if she just broke down and decided to become a WWE Diva. It’s her destiny. Or she could just make a lame sex tape.

Let’s hope Brooke’s brother Nick isn’t driving her to Harrah’s from the airport or else everyone on the Garden State Parkway is in big trouble. Oh and BTW, please keep her whack job mother Linda faaarrrr away from NJ.

May 9th at Harrah’s Casino & Resort
With a bargain basement admission price of a mere $25 bucks!!!