New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 25: Q The Winged Commuter

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The 1982 thriller, Q the Winged Serpent, is among the best blogger fodder of all time. David Carradine, Richard Roundtree, and Michael Moriarty star in this epic feature about a giant flying lizard who’s just trying to get his eat on around New York City. With a plot like that it’s just too easy to make fun of.

If you can look passed the awful special effects, there is a truly amusing scene in the beginning of the film. An unassuming woman is clearly trying to relax on a lawn chair and catch some rays on the roof of her apartment building. Just like any typical NYC sun worshipper, she is lathering suntan lotion onto her bare breasts when she suddenly gets ripped from her chair and hoisted away into the sky by the frigging buzzkiller Q. It sucks because I was really getting into that scene too. The actress, Bobbi Burns, was emoting big time. I don’t think I’ve witnessed such a dramatic application of suntan lotion on breasts ever. She showed such a beautifully subtle and gentle massage technique. Wonderful.

So, let’s see, the effects are terrible, the plot is pretty lame, and the acting is mediocre at best, so what is Q’s redeeming quality? I’ll tell you:

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As detectives assigned to what is assumed to be a case of ritual killings, Shepard (Carradine) and Powell (Roundtree), treat this monstrous winged creature like an average New York City criminal. It’s when they meet with Captain Fletcher that the buffoonery begins. Fletcher offers his opinion on how Q gets to Manhattan:
“You know it can take us weeks to find where this thing’s holed up. I mean, it could be in the woods, away from the city someplace, it could be over in Jersey someplace. My God, with a wing span like you’re talking about here that thing could fly miles into New York City every day, and it would do that of course you know because New York is famous for good eating.”
Yeah that’s it Fletcher. Q likes to eat at all the gourmet restaurants in midtown. That’s one thing about Q, he always likes to use silverware and napkins.
SERGIO: “Oh well, isn’t this a surprise! Good Afternoon Q! I’m Sergio and I’ll be your waiter today. Do you see anything on the menu that you like?”
Q THE WINGED SERPENT: “Umm, yes as a matter of fact, I’ll take one shirtless human female, basted in suntan lotion.”
SERGIO: “Mmm, that’s one of my personal favorites. I’ll bring her out right away!”
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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 22: The Home of Happiness

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rocky horror picture show
If you want something visual, that’s not too abysmal,
we could take in another NJ T-Shirt Tuesday!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is performed in unison with the film for audiences all over the world, and New Jersey is no exception. Sure, we have the highest car insurance rates and the most toxic waste in the country, but bet your ass that we’ve also got our very own company of actors who passionately personify the characters from the most legendary midnight movie. Based out of northern New Jersey, the troupe has been strutting through theaters performing Rocky Horror since 1998! If you’re in the area and you’re looking to do something different in honor of Halloween this month, this is definitely it.

I’d have to say that if I were to play any role in the film, it would have to be Riff Raff. Don’t think for a second that it’s because I’m opposed to dressing up like Dr. Frank-N-Furter either, but Riff Raff is so much cooler. Did anyone get to see Sebastian Bach play the role of Riff Raff when RHPS was on Broadway? He tore it up!
Their next show is October 17th at the Bellevue Theatre in Montclair, NJ. For more info check out:
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Michael Jackson at Costume Shop in Wyckoff, NJ

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click this picture for the video report from CNN & News 12 NJ

On Halloween ’07, various news outlets reported that Michael Jackson was seen shopping in a costume shop at Boulder Run Shopping Center in affluent Wyckoff, NJ. It was later discovered that Jackson had been living with friends of his, the Cascio family, in Franklin Lakes, NJ, for nearly 3 months. According to the NY Daily News, “…the most recognizable star in showbiz kept a low profile in the Jersey suburbs.”

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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 21: New Jersey Zombie Walk

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Here’s the official T-Shirt of the NJ Zombie Walk that took over the streets of Asbury Park last weekend. The illustration on the front of the tee depicts a zombie ripping through the outline of New Jersey with green slime splattered in the background. If you missed out this year, make sure you get there next year! Within the next few days, the official site will feature pics of the event: www.njzombiewalk.com
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The House Where Charlie Lived by Clint Miller Jr.

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I’m the slowest reader of all time. My “to read” list is backed up with books, blogs, magazines, and of course, comic books. There’s no way I’d ever make it through a Stephen King novel. Fortunately, Clint Miller Jrs., The House Where Charlie Lived, is a quite manageable 222 pages.

This month for the Halloween Countdown, I’ll be recommending and reviewing books that involve horror, ghosts, or the Jersey Devil and are also inspired by New Jersey or written by an author from The Garden State. It doesn’t sound like there would be many books that fall into the previously described category, but many of them do actually exist. The first one that I DUG UP, (ahh I’m a sucker for lame Halloween jokes – call me the male version of Elvira) is by NJ native Clint Miller Jr. Inspired by true events, The House Where Charlie Lived is available now and seems like it will be a great read for me during this Halloween season.
I had the chance to meet Clint Miller Jr. at a book signing at my new favorite store that is not Amazon: Paranormal Books and Curiosities in Asbury Park, NJ. Miller was ego free and seemed like a regular dude, not some snobby writer. That’s the way it is here in New Jersey. Our new state slogan: “Snobby writer free in Jerzee.” Miller was breezy as he discussed the book with me, as well as his Jersey roots.

The eerie cover of Miller’s book intrigued me as the gravitational pull magnetized me to it. Just a glance at the cover art will send chills down your spine. Visit the book’s official website and read the teaser, I guarantee you’ll ask when the movie version is coming out.

In 1963, a quiet seashore community becomes the focus of an intense police dragnet when Thomas Lepp gunned down three New Jersey state troopers. Artis Weyland, inspector with the High Crimes Division, leads the manhunt for Thomas Lepp, a psychopathic man suspected of brutally killing his wife, Emma, and her son Charlie.

The police have a hard time identifying Emma – her body has been chopped to pieces. They never find her head. Her young son, Charlie, is never found at all.

Nearly 40 years later, Allen and Jennifer Cherones, along with their son, Carl, have purchased a two-story house through their good friend and realtor, Ronald Avery. To help fix it up, Allen turns to his brother, Doug, and together the three set out to turn it into a dream home.

What seems like a deal to good to be true turns into a real nightmare for the family. They seek the help of their new neighbors, Dorothy and Roger Faustine, who help them unravel the home’s bloody past.

When the ghostly threat becomes all too deadly, the family realizes the former residents of this house have never left and are now looking to reclaim it. Now the Cherones’ young boy, Carl, is placed in imminent danger as Thomas Lepp returns to finish his dark deed.
Looks like I have another one to add to my list…
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eXXXotica 2009 at The NJ Expo Hall in Edison, NJ

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In case you weren’t able to be at Exxxotica this year I’ve captured my experience and edited it into a montage for you. Much of the footage was taken hours before the place became mobbed.

The 2nd annual Exxxotica convention took place on Friday September 25th and The Sexy Armpit was lucky enough to be there sandwiched between all the vibrators, ceramic dongs, and of course tons of adult film stars! It was my first Exxxotica convention and I was honestly impressed with the reverence it paid to an industry constantly faced with adversity. Censorship in the United States relegates anything, even semi explicit material, into the taboo category. You could imagaine the crusade that it took the organizers of the Exxxotica convention to actually bring it to the public. After getting ousted from Secaucus, New Jersey, whether they liked it or not, Edison, New Jersey became home to Exxxotica 2009. Now for my blow by blow account.

Whether you’re into Comic Books, Star Wars, Buffy, or even Twilight, there’s an expo hall somewhere in the country hosting a convention for your pastime. If your pastime is sex and adult films, don’t you feel left out? It’s not so bad if you live on the west coast, especially Los Angeles and Vegas since running into a porn star is way more likely there. Exxxotica also brings their show to Miami so it’s only logical to hold another leg of the convention only miles away from New York City. It’s about damn time that a sexpo not just for industry folk came to the Northeast. The opportunity to rub implants or elbows with girls (or guys) you’ve only fantasized about on the computer or in magazines is pretty special regardless your views on sex. If people can dress up as a Klingon, go to a Trek convention, and stand on line for Nimoys autograph, then why the hell not have a sex convention where you meet tons of your favorite porn stars and have the chance to preview and purchase the latest sex products?

You don’t have to be a sex addict to enjoy this convention. The NJ Expo Hall transformed into a pink playground of sexual fantasies. The eye candy sent me into overload. Girls dressed in sexy pink and black lingerie roamed the floor posing for pictures and flirting with the attendees. It was no different than taking pictures with a guy in a Captain America costume at the Marvel comics kiosk at the NY Comic Con. When I wasn’t distracted by all the hot ass, I was scoping out the scene for my favorite porn stars. From Jenna Haze to the girls from Burning Angel, everyone was at Exxxotica.

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Next year make sure you get 2 tickets, and bring your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s the best time you’ll ever have in Edison, New Jersey.

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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 19: Paranormal Books in Asbury Park

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“Back from the Dead” a vampiric Tillie T-Shirt found just in time for Halloween at
Paranormal Books in reanimated Asbury Park, NJ

Remember Ray Stantz’s book store Ray’s Occult in Ghostbusters 2? Ever since that movie came out I wished a store like that actually existed in my area, and now THERE IS ONE! Last year Kathy Kelly opened Paranormal Books & Curiosities on Cookman Ave. in Asbury Park. The store sign even gives off a creepy vibe as you walk passed it on the sidewalk.

Books detailing ghostly encounters, urban legends, ESP, and paranormal investigations fill the shelves of this awesome shop. Paranormal Books also carries an extensive array of books on ghosts in the Garden State as well as tomes on The Jersey Devil. Coming Soon at the shop is an exhibit on The Jersey Devil which I was able to get some dirt from proprietor Kathy Kelly herself. From hearing her teasers, this is sure to be a truly chilling, must-see exhibit!

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Zombie Tillie, Asburied Park, NJ

Paranormal Books is on its way to becoming New Jersey’s spectral hotbed. Books aren’t the only thing Kathy offers up, in addition to T-SHIRTS, action figures, and other oddities, they also host events including paranormal lectures, classes, psychic readings, book signings, ghost walks and exhibits.

If you’re an Armpit reader who has never been to Asbury Park, then start planning a day trip! Now is the best time to visit Asbury Park thanks to the city’s resurgence. Asbury Park is a perfect example of how eclectic New Jersey is. We need more places like this in NJ that evoke personality and benefit from having owner who is as inspired and passionate about what they love as Kathy Kelly. (*cough*…*cough*…comic book store?)

Click here to visit the Paranomal Books & Curiosities website and online store

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