eXXXotica 2014 Video Review

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKMApgvMnjg?rel=0]

The video posted above took a lot longer than expected. It took a couple of weeks to compile the footage for my eXXXotica review and edit it all up with the voice over and now it’s finally done. It felt like it took forever because I wound up sitting at my computer editing every night and dozing off! That’s what happens when you have to work a day job and wake up super early to begin the long commute. Things have been pretty busy around here and may only get busier in the next month or so, but I will always return and begin posting again. It may take me a few extra days to churn stuff like this out, but I’m usually always working on something for the site in one way or another. I hope you enjoy the video especially if you’ve never been to an eXXXotica expo, this will hopefully give you some insight to what it’s like to be at one. I appreciate you stopping by! Follow us on Twitter @sexyarmpit

Friends With Benefits (2011) Review

Dylan and his father, pants-less, eating in Newark Liberty Int’l Airport

Friends With Benefits was just an excuse to maximize Timberlake’s on-screen butt time. Will Gluck really sold out. I expected a lot more out of him. Many of you are probably thinking, “Who the hell is Will Gluck?” and rightfully so. Unless you are film fanatic or someone who pays close attention to film director’s resumes, that name probably passed you by.

Sold out sounds so cliche, but it’s what Gluck did to a degree. The director was hired to make a larger budget movie with big name stars. Too many writers spoil the script and in the case of Friends With Benefits, it took 3 people to write the story, and Gluck and 2 other writers to write the screenplay. Seriously? And even with all those writers, it was all just a bunch of romps in the sack.

If a movie company was throwing obscene amounts of cash at me to make a movie exactly the way they wanted it, I’d do it too. Gotta make a living, right? Gotta pay for that new hot tub. Gotta buy that hot new Acura NSX. Gotta build that reputation in order to make more Hollywood crap. You go Gluck! I genuinely loved Fired Up, his cheerleading comedy, and Easy A with Emma Stone, but in terms of freshness I give this an Easy F. His previous films were creative and current, yet Friends is exactly what you’d expect from a romantic comedy…not much.

Friends really wants to mean something to the teens and twenty-somethings of this generation, but it’s ultimately just corporate garbage. It’s another “insert hot young star here,” and “insert another sex scene there.” Why was there 2 flash mob scenes? TWO!!! The film’s finale desperately wanted to be poignant and as memorable as when Lloyd Dobler held up his boom box in Say Anything. There’s a reason why you know that scene even though you may never have seen the movie and that’s because because it was a meaningful scene that reflected the time and has since been parodied to death. Is wooing a girl via flash mob going to be looked at the same way 20 years down the road?

Mila Kunis is certainly hot and Timberlake is truly talented but commingling them didn’t ignite any spark. Much like the embarrassing Love and Other Drugs, if you watch Friends With Benefits in mega high speed it would just look like a series of awkward sex scenes. If your Grandparents saw this movie they’d say “What are ya watchin’, porno ya pervert?!?!” It’s the typical Hollywood formula featuring a hot male actor to grab the girl moviegoers and a sexy young female star to lure in dopey guys like me. They had me at Jackie from That ’70s Show. Boy did I fall for it.

It wasn’t all boner pissing though, Friends with Benefits did deal with some serious issues. Although I had a barf bag next to me the whole time, I appreciate how the Alzheimer’s angle was handled. Unfortunately, it seemed conveniently shoehorned into the script in order to give some human qualities to its characters. The best scene of the movie is when Timberlake takes his pants off and joins his father (who’s afflicted with Alzheimer’s and has his pants off) at a restaurant for a steak dinner in Newark Liberty International Airport. I can watch Mila Kunis stare blankly into space and be content for an hour, but this scene actually had some depth.

DYLAN: “You have a boat?!?!”
TOMMY: “I live in Jersey and I ain’t takin’ no ferry…unless it’s out to dinner and a show!”

I always enjoy Woody Harrelson and this time around was no exception. He excels in random supporting roles and here he played a gay online sports journalist who constantly advertised his love of men’s genitalia. He also takes his boat across the river back to New Jersey where he lives which kicks ass because he doesn’t have to sit in traffic.

Friends with Benefits should be a sequel to The Breakup where Vaughn and Aniston really do just become friends after their breakup and one thing leads to another and they each lose their jobs at different times while the other is still working and since they aren’t dating anyone they have to angle to get put onto the others health benefits. Listen, it may sound ridiculous now, but when Universal green-lights it in 2 years you’ll be having deja-vu. But, in all seriousness, I spent the whole movie wishing that it turned into the kooky love story of Andy Samberg and Emma Stone who actually appeared in the beginning of the film. It would’ve been so much more Glucking awesome.

Naturi Naughton is September’s Garden State Playmate!


Who’s known for being naked in the movie Notorious? Naturi Naughton that’s who! The native of East Orange, NJ and former political science student at Seton Hall University has come a long way since being a member of the R&B group 3LW.


Naughton’s role as Lil Kim in the film Notorious about the life of late rapper Notorious B.I.G included several nude scenes. Showing skin is usually the easiest way for actresses to gain attention in Hollywood and it seemed to work for Naughton. Following her portrayal as Lil Kim, roles in the remake of Fame, in which she recorded her own version of the title song, and the comedy Lottery Ticket followed.

An appearance as a Playboy Bunny on an episode of Mad Men foreshadowed her role in the new fall season on NBC. Premiering tonight, you can catch Naughton starring in NBC’s The Playboy Club as, Brenda, a bunny with aspirations of being the first African American centerfold. The show takes place in 1963 at The Playboy Club in Chicago.

EXXXOTICA NY comes to The NJ Expo Center 9/25 – 9/27!!!

exxxotica ny
EXXXOTICA, the biggest and best adult event and consumer show will be coming to the New Jersey Expo Center in Edison, NJ. Last year the people of Secaucus wouldn’t allow such a “smutty” event in their fair city. Yep, the Meadowlands Expo Center dropped the butt plugs on this one. Luckily, Edison picked up the butt plugs and will be ramming them into the NJ Expo Center in just a few weeks. The Sexy Armpit.com will be in attendance at the 2nd annual EXXXOTICA expo and so should you!
Over 100 of your favorite Porn stars, Suicide Girls, Burning Angel Girls, and more will be at EXXXOTICA. It’s a who’s who of the adult entertainment industry and there’s much fun to be had. To add to your spontaneous combustion after you read the list of appearances, there will be adult products featured, stage shows, seminars, meet and greets, live performances, and Q&A panels. I’m sure by Saturday night, you’ll be ready to POP THAT COOCHIE because 2 Live Crew will be in the house performing 2 sets for all in attendance! If you miss out on 2 Live Crew, don’t worry because there’s also going to be DJ’s spinning music, the Ms. Exxxotica competition, fashion shows, sexy game shows, and tons more.

exxxotica ny
Unlike the intimate experiences you share with your laptop, EXXXOTICA gives you the opportunity to meet the girls you lust after face to face, and in the flesh! Here’s a SMALL sample of the stars appearing at EXXXOTICA: Tera Patrick, Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze, Joanna Angel, Bree Olson, Eva Angelina, Teagen Presley, Kayden Kross, Ron Jeremy, Sean Michaels, Seka, and Tabitha Stevens. There’s so many more so check out the complete list at the official site.
For ticket information click here. Oh and FREE F’N PARKING!!! WOOO-HOOO!!!
eXXXotica NY
September 25th – 27th
NJ Expo Center
97 Sunfield Avenue
Edison, NJ 08837

atom-bomb Bikini, the lurid art of Robert Ullman


Sure, reading is fundamental, but it makes me doze off, so finishing an entire book is usually a challenge, unless it’s a book of full color art by Robert Ullman. Atom-Bomb Bikini, The Lurid Art of Robert Ullman compiles Ullman’s fun, retro styled eye candy into a nice, compact hardcover that may as well be a Little Golden Book for the adult admirer of humorous, and occasionally perverse “cute girl” art.

Ullman, who’s been reviewed on BoingBoing.com, maintains a blog here on Blogger. I discovered Ullman’s art through a Google search about 2 years ago. I felt I hit the jackpot when I clicked over to his blog since his art style is right up my alley. His site showcases his art as well as personal appearances and other exploits.

Robert Ullman
If any of the following appeals to you, then you’ll appreciate Ullman’s work: comic book style pinup girls, superhero chicks, girls in sports jerseys, boobies, and of course…BIKINIS!!! If you’re against nudity for some reason, don’t worry, it’s done so tastefully that it’s hard not to love it.

Robert Ullman
Ullman has an extensive body of work, much of which is collected in book form and for sale in his online store. I chose this book as the first to add to my collection because of it’s high quality. It’s hard cover and glossy pages make this book well worth the money, not to mention the content inside. Throughout the book, you’ll find everything from Star Wars characters to Batman and Robin, sandwiched in between tons of cute girls not wearing much at all. There are a few black and white pages but they’re still quite amusing so it’s not a big deal. If you can make it to the back of the book without drooling too much, you’ll be treated to several pages of truly phenomenal and sexy sketches. I was never a huge fan of sketches because I always felt, why look at a sketch if you can look at the finished product, but Ullman’s sketches obliterated that idea.
For more on Robert Ullman and to buy his books go to http://rkullman.blogspot.com/

I figured this one was highly appropriate for The Sexy Armpit