garden state playmates Archives

Laura Prepon is August’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on August 22, 2013 by sexyarmpit

“Pardon me, would you have any Grey Prepon?” What are the chances that actress Laura Prepon got that about once a day as a kid living in Watchung, NJ? You might say the chances are extremely low that someone would say something that supremely lame, even a kid. Although, you might think differently when you find out that Watchung is a pretty well-to-do town and it’s very common for inhabitants of those types of places to have an affinity for gourmet mustard puns. Fortunately, it seems that the condiment related harassment that quite possibly ruined her childhood didn’t have any effect on her acting career. Or did it? Prepon is still working so that’s a good sign.

Apparently there’s a small group of Prepon detractors out there who like to make their passionate hatred for the actress abundantly clear. One of those guys is “parlance-263-43691,” who, in an IMDB review, felt strongly enough to rant about her performance in the short lived Chelsea Handler (former Garden State Playmate) inspired show, Are You There, Chelsea?

She may not be the most versatile actress, but I don’t think she’s as awful at comedy as this guy claims: “Where do I begin? Laura Prepon couldn’t act her way out of a box; the timing and delivery of whatever comedic value there is in the writing is completely lost when it falls limply out of her mouth.”

Even if she was the worst actress of all time, would you ever would go out of your way to write and post a review on how miserable of an actress she is on IMDB? It’s true that actors put themselves out there and become vulnerable to online punishment, but I don’t think Laura Prepon is so bad that she deserves to be ruined on IMDB. That said, people should have a little bit of sympathy for her considering the lifetime of heartache she went through with that damn mustard joke. It drove her straight into Scientology.

At 5’10” she’s a tall drink of water and I wouldn’t recommend messing with her in a woman’s prison, if you’re ever in one with her that is, or if you’re near a TV when she’s on it and in prison. I’ve never seen Orange is the New Black and even though I’ve heard it’s getting good reviews I probably won’t be investing my time in it since my viewing schedule is booked up through my death. In the Netflix original series, Prepon plays Alex Vause, a lesbian and fomer drug dealer. Recent news stories covering her possible departure from the show have caused quite a stir. The rumors range from monetary disputes to the possibility that her character may get killed off and the producers want to keep it under wraps.

Pictured here in a 3-way kiss as Reanna in the 2002 comedy Slackers. I remember seeing this in the theater and the best parts included Prepon trying to have some “alone time” and of course Jason Schwartzman being highly entertaining as Cool Ethan.

Prepon also appeared on a few short lived TV shows, one off roles, and also landed a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother. In addition to her on-screen roles, she voiced characters in the animated series American Dad and the video game Halo 2. None of that can come close to the character I first saw her play. She will ALWAYS be Eric’s girlfriend Donna Pinciotti from That ’70s Show. That show was a huge part of my life for its entire run, except for a few episodes toward the end. You may remember her as Hot Donna. How about some pricey mustard to slather on that Hot Donna of yours?

Vera Farmiga Is March’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on March 19, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Ukranian-American beauty and Oscar nominated actress Vera Farmiga is our Garden State Playmate for March 2013! She was born in Passaic County, NJ and graduated from Hunterdon Central Regional High School. If by chance you aren’t familiar with this talented actress, you will be soon since there’s sure to be a buzz about her upcoming role on A&E’s Bates Motel.

Vera Farmiga photo verafarmigagspNJ02_zps731db007.jpg

It was brilliant casting her as Norma (Norman’s mother) in the Psycho prequel series set in the modern day. The premiere episode was outstanding, mostly due to Farmiga’s ability to easily sink into a role so perverse and brutal. She was a perfect choice for such an iconic role. After I viewed the first episode I have a feeling she’s going to give Olivia Hussey (Norman in Psycho IV) a run for her money!

Before Bates Motel you may have seen Farmiga in movies like Autum in New York, 15 Minutes, Orphan, Up in the Air (in which she was nominated for Best Supporting Actress), and Safe House.

A few interesting facts about Vera:

– Farmiga’s parents are Ukranian immigrants and according to IMDB she is the second of seven children.
– She didn’t speak English until she was 6 years old

– She plays the piano

– She owns pet angora goats.

– Had her first child at age 35 and her second at 37

Judith Light is February’s Garden State Playmate

Posted on February 13, 2013 by sexyarmpit

“ANGELA!” In my head I can hear Tony Danza’s rough voice ascend into a higher register as he replies to his boss with some mildly comedic response. I grew up watching Who’s The Boss and Judith Light played the uptight, ’80s yuppie Angela Bower to perfection. There were times when I lost a dream or two, but I found the trail and at the end was February’s Garden State Playmate, Judith Light!

Born in Trenton, NJ, Judith Light was starring in TV shows well before she broke out with Who’s the Boss. In fact, all throughout the late ’70s and ’80s you could catch her on TV pretty much any day of the week. She appeared on One Life to Live, St. Elsewhere, Remington Steele, Kojak, and Family Ties.

One of her most well received performances was in the 1989 made-for-TV movie The Ryan White Story, about a 13 year old hemophiliac who contracted AIDS. In 1999, Light bravely took on the role in the off-Broadway show Wit where she shaved her head completely as she played a “literary academic dying of ovarian cancer” according to IMDB.

More recently, Light has appeared on Law and Order SVU, Ugly Betty, Nurse Jackie, and now you can catch her on one of my favorites…DALLAS! In the TNT reboot of the long running show, she plays Judith Ryland, the rotten and controlling mother (mother? really?) of the 2nd season’s villain.

*She attended St. Mary’s Hall in Burlington, NJ. (IMDB)

Amy Locane is November’s Garden State Playmate uhh I mean Cellmate!

Posted on November 28, 2012 by sexyarmpit

Ohhh boy have I been keeping this one on the back burner for about 2 years. I’ve wanted to bestow the honor of GSP to Jersey girl Amy Locane for a while now, but there’s no more appropriate time to dub her the first ever Garden State Cellmate than the day she got convicted of vehicular homicide.

While the quality control department here at The Sexy Armpit strives to maintain the proper policies and procedures, sometimes we have to just throw the rule book out the window. I’m in no way commending the blonde actress, a once up and coming star who never rose above supporting roles, for driving drunk and killing a 60 year old woman in a car in front of her. In fact, she probably should serve more than the 5-10 year sentence she will be receiving. But I’m not a judge, I’m a blogger, and I will give her my own sentencing.

Clearly this woman is an idiot. Obviously, Amy is not too bright when it comes to decision making. After drinking at a cast party and then some more at a family barbecue, she got into her S.U.V to drive herself home and eventually crashed into a couple of cars. According to this story at The Daily Record, her blood alcohol level was nearly 3 times the legal limit. If she was at a family BBQ, why didn’t someone offer to bring her home? I’m sure alcohol is never in short supply in that family since Locane’s husband, Mark Bovenizer, owns a liquor store in Princeton.

Regardless of it being an accident or not, the real tragedy here is that an innocent mother and wife was killed. The accomplishments of Locane’s glamorous former career were quickly washed away thanks to her poor judgement. With that said, this post recalls Amy’s glory days one last time before she serves her time in prison.

To me, the pinnacle of Locane’s career and perhaps the role that guys of my generation remember her for the most, is her role in Airheads as Chaz’s annoying, but hot girlfriend Kayla. Years earlier, the glimpses I caught of Locane as Sandy in the previews for the first season of the original Melrose Place were the only reason I tuned in. If I could get the time back that I spent watching those episodes when I was a kid, I would spend them more wisely. What can I say, I was easily distracted by blondes back then.

Vital info from IMDB tells us that Locane was born in Trenton, NJ. She lives in Hopewell, NJ with her husband and 3 children. Some of her other film credits include School Ties, Cry Baby, Going All The Way, and Bongwater among others. Her birthday is coming up in December and she’ll be blowing out her candles in the slammer.

Christina Ricci Is October’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on October 19, 2012 by sexyarmpit

Christina Ricci is October’s Garden State Playmate. She was born in California, but moved to New Jersey with her family. She grew up in Montclair, NJ and starred in plays at a very young age. Ricci has played a wide variety of characters, but it’s the dark ones she’s best known for. I’ll use this month’s column to defend some of her macabre roles in honor of the Halloween countdown.

Most notably is Ricci’s wicked portrayal of Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family and it’s sequel, Addams Family Values. Coming off the success of those films, Ricci went on to 1995’s Casper. I’m not afraid to admit that I remember seeing this the night it opened with my cousin Danielle. When it came out it had a fairly big buzz surrounding it and the trailers looked awesome. It looked a few steps above a kids movie, but it only turned out to be decent, nothing extraordinary. IMDB reminded me that this was the first feature film with a fully computer animated title character – take that Phantom Menace! Oh yeah…and Ghostbuster Ray Stantz makes a funny cameo in this as well!

1999’s Sleepy Hollow is often criticized for being style over substance. Regardless, this interpretation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, one of my favorite short stories by Washington Irving, is hard to beat. To say it’s definitive may not be the opinion of everyone, and I tend to go with the Disney animated version in Ichabod and Mr. Toad, but Christopher Walken was so damn terrifying in this movie! Previously known for her role in The Addams Family movies, this was a great opportunity for Ricci to show off her acting ability while also maintaining the gothic vibe. Directed by Tim Burton, and alongside Johnny Depp, Ricci was perfectly cast.

10 years after Casper, Ricci starred as Ellie, a girl who’s in love with a werewolf in 2005’s Cursed. This one gets such a bad rap. Surprisingly it’s one of Wes Craven’s later films that is not underwhelming. It took 7 years, but this fun horror film actually has gained a cult following. A film like this is relevant now more than ever thanks to the world’s obsession with the Twilight saga. Cursed beats that any day.

The effects are pretty damn good in Cursed. It was cool to see Derek Mears in an actual werewolf costume. Of course there was a fair share of CGI, but there was an equal amount of practical effects which was welcome. You’ll also see Jesse Eisenberg in an early role. Next time someone accuses him of being a poor man’s Michael Cera, tell them Jesse Eisenberg is an f’n WEREWOLF and he lived in East Brunswick, NJ for 20 years! Scott Baio actually plays himself, a total slimeball actor who tries to hit on Ellie as they discuss his appearance on…get this…The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn! (seriously)!

OK, so Cursed is dated in some aspects. The songs used in the soundtrack (not the score) are pretty lame by today’s standards and the Craig Kilborn thing is just atrocious. He’s just a dick. Does anyone even know what happened to that guy? He was good on SportsCenter and it pretty much ended there. Back on track though. Finally, the film has numerous scenes inside a club that has a Hollywood wax museum theme to it and lots of classic monster references too! Perfect movie for you and your significant other to enjoy during Halloween! Ricci is the star of the film and although it wasn’t her best performance, I still found myself rooting for her. I’d like to see Ricci get back to doing more films in the horror/thriller genre. What do you think?

Wednesday: “Please end this post…”
Morticia: “What do we say?”
Wednesday: “NOW!”

*I didn’t see 2003’s The Gathering, but if you did let me know how it is!

Katrina Bowden is August’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on August 8, 2012 by sexyarmpit

We don’t look at the gross side of things here at The Sexy Armpit nearly enough. That’s why I wanted to change it up a bit for this month’s Garden State Playmate. Wealthy/snobby town Wyckoff, NJ not only spawned the Jonas Brothers, but also actress Katrina Bowden. She may have been voted Esquire Magazine’s 2011’s sexiest woman alive, but is she really? Before we go ahead and crown her Garden State Playmate take a look at the picture below, does she look sexy there? Haha, well that’s just from a movie where she projectile vomits (sexy!) in 3-D, Piranha 3DD, which was completely ridiculous…ridiculously awesome that is. It’s got David Hasselhoff and David Koechner (you know him as Champ Kind from Anchorman), and piranhas escaping from Katrina Bowden’s crotch. So maybe it’s the ambitious roles that Bowden chooses that makes her sexy, or is it the fact that she’s a spoiled Jersey girl with a snotty attitude? Does she make you want to puke or feel kinda funny? You tell us!

Bowden looks like a cross between the girl next door and an emaciated blonde model type. Eat some White Castles will ya? She’s got the lock on roles that require her to be as dumb as a rock like her character Cerie on 30 Rock in which she accentuates her great comedic timing, among other things. Recently, she’s starred in the latest installment of the American Pie franchise, American Reunion and the TV series New Girl. Out of all her roles I recommend checking her out as Allison in 2010’s Tucker and Dale vs. Evil a kickass horror/comedy, which, aside from 30 Rock, is her best work thus far. Don’t get your hopes up fellas, she’s engaged to NJ musician Ben Jorgensen of the band Armor for Sleep.

Katrina Bowden Cameltoe from Piranha 3DD…just sayin’

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq8WVBc3ac8?rel=0]

Anne Hathaway is July’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on July 9, 2012 by sexyarmpit

Call me sentimental, but I consider it a big honor to star in a Batman film. It’s an even bigger honor to step into the skin tight leather Catwoman costume. Anne Hathaway is bestowed this honor in The Dark Knight Rises and we’ll soon see how she matches up to her predecessors. In many ways, playing Selina Kyle/Catwoman is as tough as playing Batman since there were several actors who previously defined the role. It doesn’t matter if you enjoy the 60’s Batman TV series or not, Julie Newmar was the first and best on-screen Catwoman. Lee Meriwether did a pretty bang-up job also, but Michelle Pfeiffer brought a whole new perverse sexuality to the character. Will Anne Hathaway bring a new aspect to Batman’s feline foe?

It’s not fair to compare Hathaway to Newmar or Pfeiffer without seeing The Dark Knight Rises yet, but one thing Hathaway’s got going for her is that she grew up in New Jersey. Her bio on IMDB mentions that she was born in Brooklyn and her family moved to Millburn, NJ when she was 6 years old. The actress graduated Millburn High School and also starred in several productions at The Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn and Seton Hall Prep in West Orange, NJ.

Hathaway is known for being in tons of chick flicks. Until I was coerced by Miss Sexy Armpit to watch 2010’s Valentine’s Day I never watched any of her films. Although some of my friends freely admit to having an affinity for The Devil Wears Prada, I definitely draw the line there. Soon after The Princess Diaries, it’s sequel, and Ella Enchanted, Hathaway switched gears and went on to shed her clothes and her squeaky clean image in 2005’s Havoc.

Looking closer at her resume I can’t really say I’ve seen more than 1 1/2 of her films. I fell asleep within the first 10 minutes of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland so I missed her as the White Queen and, as I mentioned, I watched Valentine’s Day in it’s ludicrous entirety and fast forwarded through most of Love and Other Drugs. If they wanted me to watch the whole thing they should’ve hired a hot female actress in place of Jake Gyllenhaal and made it a lesbian love story. 80% of the film is made up of mostly forced and awkward sex scenes between the two actors. *Here’s just a few of Hathaway’s other films that I have absolutely zero interest in ever watching: Brokeback Mountain, Rachel Getting Married, and Bride Wars.

If you’re a guy and a Hathaway fan, you’re in luck because there’s no shortage of ways to see her naked. Even though Hathaway is now known to her male fans for her frequent nude scenes, she doesn’t evoke the same naturally commanding sex appeal that Julie Newmar and Michelle Pfeiffer did in the Catwoman role. Chances are, Christopher Nolan will tap into a whole new Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises. We already know that The Dark Knight will rise, but does Anne Hathaway make YOU rise?

Mary McCormack is May’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on May 4, 2012 by sexyarmpit

She may have been one of the reasons why Howard Stern and his first wife were separated. I feel so damn old saying this, but, back in the late ’90s, during the making of Private Parts, Howard constantly proclaimed on his show that if he wasn’t married he would love to be with actress Mary McCormack. He called her his “movie wife,” as she portrayed Alison Stern in the 1997 film based on his best selling book.

Any guy who has seen Private Parts remembers the screen shot I grabbed on the right

Since starring as Howard’s movie wife, McCormack appeared in a steady stream of films and TV shows. Some of her credits include Deep Impact, the underrated comedy Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (Nuckin’ Futs!), K-Pax…yes K-PAX, and TV shows ER and The West Wing. McCormack also had a main role in 2007’s 1408, a pretty decent little thriller based off a Stephen King story.

Most recently the Plainfield, NJ-born actress starred in USA Network’s In Plain Sight. The series premiere in 2008 grabbed over 5 millions viewers. Despite its initial success, In Plain Sight’s five season run will be coming to an end with tonight’s episode.

IMDB provides some trivia on McCormack: She is friends with fellow New Jerseyan Chelsea Handler, she graduated Wardlaw-Hartridge School in Edison, NJ, and she obviously has milf qualities but settle down dudes…she’s married with children!

Elizabeth Gillies is December’s Garden State Playmate

Posted on December 19, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Santa Claus informed me that he has too many good girls and boys to deliver to this year so he won’t have time to visit The Sexy Armpit. The good news is that he’s dropping off our present early this year. It’s New Jersey native Elizabeth Gillies, one of the stars of Nickelodeon’s Victorious. Don’t get all up in arms…she’s 18.

Looks-wise, Gillies is reminiscent of a young Lindsay Lohan before the skankiness and the drugs. Lohan starred in the film Mean Girls while Gillies just plays one on TV, but the similarities end there. As bitchy Jade West on Victorious, her goth punk stylings would’ve made me putty in her hand if I was a kid. Jade certainly has an attitude problem, but those blue-green eyes give her a pass. Those colored streaks in her hair, her piercings, tattoos, ohhh…and her fixation for scissors – be still my beating heart!

If you ever catch Victorious, you’ll see that Gillies is cast perfectly in her role and it’s obvious she’s going to become a big star. Gillies also appeared in the 2008 film Harold and some of her other TV credits include The Black Donnellys and White Collar. She grew up in Haworth, NJ and attended Northern Valley Regional High School in Demarest, NJ.

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:video:nick.com:1045180

Victorious: “A Christmas Tori: It’s Not Christmas Without You”
Get More: Victorious Episodes,Victorious,Victorious Games

April “AJ” Lee Is November’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on November 21, 2011 by sexyarmpit

“Growing up this New Jersey native faced multiple hardships, overcoming extreme poverty and even homelessness. But through it all, she never lost sight of her lifelong goal to thrive as a Diva in WWE.”

– AJ’s bio on WWE.com

In a strange twist, November’s Garden State Playmate was actually once known as Miss April early in her career. Some personalities in pro wrestling wind up changing their names more than they change their ring attire, but in AJ Lee’s case it has only signified her ascent to stardom. For those WWE fans out there you know her simply as A.J, the cute and energetic diva from Union City, New Jersey.

Unlike many of the WWE Divas who have won contests or were simply models plucked off a magazine page, AJ has worked hard to climb the pro wrestling ladder. As Miss April she started out in New Jersey’s female indy promotion, WSU. Not too long after that she signed with Florida Championship Wrestling, WWE’s developmental company. From there, now known as A.J, she made it to WWE’s NXT show and presently she can be seen on Friday Night Smackdown in tag team action as The Chickbusters with fellow Diva, Kaitlyn.

AJ, a Pisces, is constantly described as a comic book and video game lover. She was trained by her ex boyfriend, a Sexy Armpit favorite, New Jersey’s own Jay Lethal! Her fast, high flying style is “inspired by the likes of Rey Mysterio, Macho Man Randy Savage, and WWE Hall of Famer Ricky The Dragon Steamboat…” according to her bio on WWE.com. I’m sure you’ll be seeing and hearing a lot more from AJ as WWE seems to be working her into bigger storylines. On a recent episode of Smackdown it was hinted that her character may have a thing for another indy favorite who made it big, Daniel Bryan.