Katrina Bowden is August’s Garden State Playmate!

We don’t look at the gross side of things here at The Sexy Armpit nearly enough. That’s why I wanted to change it up a bit for this month’s Garden State Playmate. Wealthy/snobby town Wyckoff, NJ not only spawned the Jonas Brothers, but also actress Katrina Bowden. She may have been voted Esquire Magazine’s 2011’s sexiest woman alive, but is she really? Before we go ahead and crown her Garden State Playmate take a look at the picture below, does she look sexy there? Haha, well that’s just from a movie where she projectile vomits (sexy!) in 3-D, Piranha 3DD, which was completely ridiculous…ridiculously awesome that is. It’s got David Hasselhoff and David Koechner (you know him as Champ Kind from Anchorman), and piranhas escaping from Katrina Bowden’s crotch. So maybe it’s the ambitious roles that Bowden chooses that makes her sexy, or is it the fact that she’s a spoiled Jersey girl with a snotty attitude? Does she make you want to puke or feel kinda funny? You tell us!

Bowden looks like a cross between the girl next door and an emaciated blonde model type. Eat some White Castles will ya? She’s got the lock on roles that require her to be as dumb as a rock like her character Cerie on 30 Rock in which she accentuates her great comedic timing, among other things. Recently, she’s starred in the latest installment of the American Pie franchise, American Reunion and the TV series New Girl. Out of all her roles I recommend checking her out as Allison in 2010’s Tucker and Dale vs. Evil a kickass horror/comedy, which, aside from 30 Rock, is her best work thus far. Don’t get your hopes up fellas, she’s engaged to NJ musician Ben Jorgensen of the band Armor for Sleep.

Katrina Bowden Cameltoe from Piranha 3DD…just sayin’

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq8WVBc3ac8?rel=0]

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.66: Piranha (2010)


Oh shit SHARK WEEK starts next week! To prepare for one of the highlights of the summer, let’s take take a look at a movie based on another scary creature that lives underwater – PIRANHA! The 2010 remake of the film was lightweight, but a surprisingly refreshing horror comedy. And what’s a horror comedy without references to the great state of New Jersey?

Before we get into the Jersey name drop, I’ll tell you about another Jersey connection. The cast of Piranha was like a who’s who. As unpopular as this next sentence is going to sound, I’m a big fan of Jerry O’Connell, and he’s perfect as the obnoxious “Girls Gone Wild” knockoff producer Derrick Jones. And GREAT SCOTT! It’s Adam Scott and Doc Brown himself, Christopher Lloyd. The film also features Richard Dreyfuss in a cameo nod to his role in Jaws. As for hotties, Riley Steele and Kelly Brooke provide some eye candy, and on a milfier note, scoring one of the main roles is Elisabeth Shue who grew up in New Jersey.

In the scene pictured above, Sheriff Julie Forrester (Shue) is on a mission to find out why the local lake is being infested by Piranha. She stops over to see Mr. Goodman (Lloyd), a local fish store owner who knows all about different species, and luckily a lot about Piranha. As she and Novak (Adam Scott) bring a bucket with a Piranha over to an empty tank, Mr. Goodman’s wife deduces what must have happened:

“You know I’ve heard of this happening, it’s like those baby alligators in New Jersey, someone leaves them and then they breed…” – Mrs. Goodman (Devra Korwin)

I didn’t get to see the film in 3-D while it was in theaters, but it was still fun to watch. Piranha is silly, mildly scary, and still pretty awesome, much like the 1970s original. With a running time of 88 minutes you won’t have a chance to get bored. Even though it’s sequel, Piranha 3DD, is schlockier than it’s predecessor, it has David Hasselhoff as himself basically reprising his role as Mitch from Baywatch, but it doesn’t offer Riley Steele and Kelly Brooke swimming naked to the euphoric sounds of Lakme: Flower Duet by Delibes…in 3-D, but both films offer vomiting and castration…in 3-D.

The Subpar Seaport Aquarium in Wildwood, NJ

Seaport Aquarium, Wildwood NJ

Last time I visited the Wildwood Boardwalk I had no interest in going inside the Seaport Aquarium, but I did feel compelled to snap some photos of the Shark hanging out underneath their sign. Various reviews from around the net claim that the Seaport Aquarium on the Wildwood Boardwalk is the biggest scam going.

Lori D. from Blackwood, NJ reported that they have a Piranha tank where you could purchase a goldfish for $3.99 and watch it get eaten by the little spiky toothed punk. She went on to say that there are 2 nurse sharks that you can touch, but they are too big for their small tanks. Other reviews claimed that the aquarium looked more like a pet store, their reptiles were sick, and there was a lack of animal supervision on the part of the staff. Next time you take the gang to the boardwalk you may want to say no to your kid who is pulling your arm out of your socket in hopes of going in there. Click here to read the other reviews at Insider Pages and this one from Yelp.

I think Aquarium W. from Manchester Township NJ sums it up real nice for us all: “Holy Balls This Place Sucked.” Cool sign though…