CM Punk Rescued at Jersey Shore: A Sexy Armpit News Brief

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If the wrestling news and rumor sites are accurate, it’s been reported that CM Punk is now officially a “former WWE Superstar.” I still have a slight amount of hope that it’s all part of storyline though. Whether Punk ever returns to the ring or not, he still deserves a vacation. His woman, WWE Diva AJ Lee, begged him to go to Wildwood this summer, and becoming a softy in his old age, Punk gave in. Ordinarily he wouldn’t be caught dead in Jersey, but the irony is that he WAS almost caught dead there. Watch the Sexy Armpit news brief above for all the details on this near fatal occurrence. Later in the news brief is a video montage of The Sexy Armpit and Dinosaur Dracula’s trip to the Wildwood boardwalk! Music by The Brigantines. See them live playing shows this summer! Listen to a Free track at their official site: www.thebrigantines.com

Wrestlemania Week Begins!

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I came up with the ad for how a New Jersey Wrestlemania should look!
We’ve been waiting a whole year since the announcement that Wrestlemania 29 would emanate from Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. Finally, the time is upon us! LIVE from the home of the Giants and the Jets, Wrestlemania 29 all goes down on Sunday April 7th, 2013 live on Pay-Per-View.

It’s been a long standing battle as to why the Giants and the Jets are referred to as New York teams when they actually play in New Jersey. The same thing is happening with Wrestlemania 29. All of the official logos and advertisements feature a NY/NJ combo rather than just NJ where the venue clearly is. I can understand the fact that the venue and the teams that play in it are shared by NY and NJ, but in wrestling terms there should be no debate.
I took it upon myself to bury this nonsense by fixing the official Wrestlemania ad. Rather than show The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena, like the original, I replaced them all with wrestlers from New Jersey. Featured in The Sexy Armpit version of the Wrestlemania ad is the late Bam Bam Bigelow, the walking condominium King Kong Bundy, Diamond Dallas Page, one of my favorite indie wrestlers Jay Lethal, and present WWE Superstar A.J Lee. Notice A.J is proudly wearing her Sexy Armpit C.M Punk style t-shirt.
It doesn’t stop there for the Jersey-fied ad. Not only is the Jersey City skyline pictured in the distance, but there’s also a special attraction match!
This grudge match will settle the score for who is more Jersey. Jersey Shore inspired wrestler Robbie E. of TNA Wrestling facing off against Randy “The Ram” Robinson who lives in New Jersey in one of my favorite films, The Wrestler. Considering Robbie E. was mentioned in the movie, this would be a cool match to see. Randy “The Ram” feels that Robbie E. is making a mockery of his home state and Robbie E. feels that The Ram is all washed up. *We’ve confirmed that Randy survived his last match against the Ayatollah and he has clearance from his doctor to wrestle.

WWE’s No Way Out From East Rutherford, NJ!

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WWE’s next Pay-Per-View, No Way Out is emanating from the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, NJ on Father’s Day, June 17th 2012. The print ads and TV commercials for the event are done in an old-timey style and feature Daniel Bryan and his now ex-onscreen girlfriend, A.J. It will be a homecoming for A.J who is one of our past Garden State Playmates and hails from Union City, NJ. The poster pictured above is available from the WWE Shop via this link. The matches are listed below – as always, the card is subject to change.

C.M Punk vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. The Big Show in a Steel Cage
Shaemus vs. Dolph Ziggler for the World Heavyweight Championship
Christian vs. Cody Rhodes for the Intercontinental Championship
Brodus Clay vs. David Otunga (Pre-Show)

April “AJ” Lee Is November’s Garden State Playmate!

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“Growing up this New Jersey native faced multiple hardships, overcoming extreme poverty and even homelessness. But through it all, she never lost sight of her lifelong goal to thrive as a Diva in WWE.” 

In a strange twist, November’s Garden State Playmate was actually once known as Miss April early in her career. Some personalities in pro wrestling wind up changing their names more than they change their ring attire, but in AJ Lee’s case it has only signified her ascent to stardom. For those WWE fans out there you know her simply as A.J, the cute and energetic diva from Union City, New Jersey.

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Unlike many of the WWE Divas who have won contests or were simply models plucked off a magazine page, AJ has worked hard to climb the pro wrestling ladder. As Miss April she started out in New Jersey’s female indy promotion, WSU. Not too long after that she signed with Florida Championship Wrestling, WWE’s developmental company. From there, now known as A.J, she made it to WWE’s NXT show and presently she can be seen on Friday Night Smackdown in tag team action as The Chickbusters with fellow Diva, Kaitlyn.

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AJ, a Pisces, is constantly described as a comic book and video game lover. She was trained by her ex boyfriend, a Sexy Armpit favorite, New Jersey’s own Jay Lethal! Her fast, high flying style is “inspired by the likes of Rey Mysterio, Macho Man Randy Savage, and WWE Hall of Famer Ricky The Dragon Steamboat…” according to her bio on WWE.com. I’m sure you’ll be seeing and hearing a lot more from AJ as WWE seems to be working her into bigger storylines. On a recent episode of Smackdown it was hinted that her character may have a thing for another indy favorite who made it big, Daniel Bryan.