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Purple Stuff Podcast: WrestleMania Minutiae!

Posted on March 30, 2018March 30, 2018 by Jay

It’s that time of the year again! The weather starts cutting out the below zero temps and gives us that Spring feeling of being alive again. Although the Fall is by far my favorite season, Spring is second, but not because of blooming flowers…because of booming bodyslams! That’s right, its time to celebrate the WWE’s grandest event of the year, WrestleMania! Even if the last time you watched WWE was when Stone Cold Steve Austin was still the champ, you can still hop back on board at any time. Right now is the best time because WrestleMania is always a fun time. Hardcore fans dissect every event and suck the goodness out of everything, but this is one block of 4 hours each year that I dive completely into the pro-wrestling zone and enjoy it as if I were 5 years old again. It’s actually pretty refreshing, and maybe even more-so if you are not super into the WWE world. If you aren’t jaded to all of it you may even have more of a blast than many of us critical bastards! Regardless, here are 6 tips on maximizing your WrestleMania day:

Eliminate interruptions. You may be tempted to hop on Twitter or scroll through your Instagram feed during any lulls, but trust me, it can wait. You’ll have time during the Kid Rock promo so plan the social media breaks strategically. Many bands have banned cell phones at their concerts, so take a cue from The Misfits and enjoy WrestleMania as if it was the ’80s and early ’90s when you weren’t bogged down by the damn phone. I’m sure I will get texts during the show, but unless it’s an emergency, it can wait! When The Goddess is on TV, everything else gets put on hold.

2. Drink. Doesn’t have to be liquor. If you aren’t into that, get a lot of Root Beer or Mountain Dew on ice. You will need to have an excuse to run to the bathroom if a match starts to bore you out of your smoking skull. (that’s a Stone Cold reference if you didn’t catch it!)

3. Set up a comfortable viewing area, but not too comfortable! You want the pillows and blankets, but don’t accidentally promote a sleeping environment for you and your squad. This is a mistake. There’s plenty of time for that later on. If this is your first WWE event in a while, it will feel like it’s 17 hours.

4. Food! You can actually get winded just by living vicariously through watching these super athletes do what they do best so you will need nourishment. My advice is to balance out the crap with some good healthy stuff. Sounds boring, but you’ll thank me afterward! If you’re eating nothing but garbage all day and night, by the end of the event you’ll want to bust. You’ll feel like an alien is ripping out of your stomach. It’s worthwhile to cut up some fruits and veggies and drink water here and there. You have to pace yourself between all the Doritos and buffalo wings.

5. Treat the day like it’s a holiday. For me, WrestleMania has always been a holiday. To some, The Super Bowl is the big day, but for me this is monumental. Even if it winds up sucking, there’ so much excitement and enthusiasm on this day. The memories of Mania’s past come rushing back and you can enjoy them all day long if you have the WWE Network. With all great holidays, reminiscing is a major part of them and this is no different. You might wear an ugly sweater to a Christmas party, so be sure to wear your favorite Wrestler’s t-shirt or hat. I can’t forget this one, the music! We listen to Christmas carols during Christmas and spooky music during Halloween, so get your bluetooth speaker out and stream WWE music all day long, heck, all weekend long! And since you’re going to be up late and all pumped, think about taking the next day off. They won’t kill you.

6. LISTEN TO THE NEWEST EPISODE OF THE PURPLE STUFF PODCAST! The newest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is all about inconsequential aspects of all the WrestleManias so far. Matt from Dinosaur Dracula and I have compiled 10 pieces of minutiae that we find interesting enough to talk about for an hour. Topics include, The Undertaker’s outrageous act, A whacked out Piper’s Pit, The Mistress of the Dark, and the greatest pro wrestling entrance of all time! Check it out on iTunes, Stitcher, Podbean, and the Google Play store! Thanks for tuning in.

Now, let’s take you down to our broadcasting team of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura…

Wrestlemania Week Begins!

Posted on April 1, 2013 by sexyarmpit

I came up with the ad for how a New Jersey Wrestlemania should look!

We’ve been waiting a whole year since the announcement that Wrestlemania 29 would emanate from Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. Finally, the time is upon us! LIVE from the home of the Giants and the Jets, Wrestlemania 29 all goes down on Sunday April 7th, 2013 live on Pay-Per-View.

It’s been a long standing battle as to why the Giants and the Jets are referred to as New York teams when they actually play in New Jersey. The same thing is happening with Wrestlemania 29. All of the official logos and advertisements feature a NY/NJ combo rather than just NJ where the venue clearly is. I can understand the fact that the venue and the teams that play in it are shared by NY and NJ, but in wrestling terms there should be no debate.

I took it upon myself to bury this nonsense by fixing the official Wrestlemania ad. Rather than show The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena, like the original, I replaced them all with wrestlers from New Jersey. Featured in The Sexy Armpit version of the Wrestlemania ad is the late Bam Bam Bigelow, the walking condominium King Kong Bundy, Diamond Dallas Page, one of my favorite indie wrestlers Jay Lethal, and present WWE Superstar A.J Lee. Notice A.J is proudly wearing her Sexy Armpit C.M Punk style t-shirt.

It doesn’t stop there for the Jersey-fied ad. Not only is the Jersey City skyline pictured in the distance, but there’s also a special attraction match!

This grudge match will settle the score for who is more Jersey. Jersey Shore inspired wrestler Robbie E. of TNA Wrestling facing off against Randy “The Ram” Robinson who lives in New Jersey in one of my favorite films, The Wrestler. Considering Robbie E. was mentioned in the movie, this would be a cool match to see. Randy “The Ram” feels that Robbie E. is making a mockery of his home state and Robbie E. feels that The Ram is all washed up. *We’ve confirmed that Randy survived his last match against the Ayatollah and he has clearance from his doctor to wrestle.

Nerd Lunch Episode 34: Wrestlemania Memories

Posted on April 25, 2012 by sexyarmpit

Listen to episode 34 of the Nerd Lunch Podcast! Join Jeeg, Pax from Cavalcade of Awesome, Downs from Atomic Geeks and myself on a trip down to the squared circle. We get a little rowdy as we cut promos, and discuss our favorite Wrestlemania matches and moments.

http://player.wizzard.tv/player/o/i/x/133522942140/config/k-28fb6c171299270f/uuid/null/episode/k-51a5cf1530c81239

Wrestlemania 29: IT’S IN JERSEY THIS TIME!!!

Posted on February 16, 2012 by sexyarmpit

Vince McMahon’s goal in bringing Wrestlemania to MetLife Stadium was to beat the NFL to the punch by a year. In 2014 The Super Bowl will be taking place at MetLife Stadium, though it’s still referred to by most people in the Tri-State area as GIANTS STADIUM. Tomorrow, Vince and his crew of superstars will join Governor Chris Christie in East Rutherford NJ for the official announcement that WWE’s grandest event will emanate from MetLife Stadium on April 7th, 2013.

Rumors about this have been surging the past couple of months, so this wasn’t a surprise. To say I can’t contain my excitement is an understatement. Pro Wrestling sites, Twitter, and even real live actual people are buzzing about this. Considering that the New York Giants just won the Super Bowl, that makes this announcement even more monumental. There’s no telling how the G-Men will do next year, but either way, WWE chose the right venue.

But wait! The infant MetLife Stadium has no roof! As you may know, the weather in Jersey is whacked out. The first week of April will either be freaky freezies weather, torrential downpours, or swamp-ass city 90 degree heat. We rarely enjoy a happy medium as far as weather goes. I’m not complaining, WWE obviously has a plan for inclement weather. Either way, it’s revenue and publicity for New Jersey and that’s positive.

Now if we can get WWE to stop saying Wrestlemania is coming to New York/New Jersey. If WWE was holding Wrestlemania in Madison Square Garden, that would be New York. Of course it’s still too early to tell, but the fact that Wrestlemania 30 won’t be held in MSG boggles my mind. Since the major turn to stadiums for Wrestlemania, it would seem more appropriate to have the 30th Wrestlemania at MetLife Stadium rather than the 29th, but who knows, I’m sure they have a secret master plan.

This could very well be a once in a lifetime opportunity. As a hardcore WWF/E fan since 1984, I never thought there would be a Wrestlemania held so close to where I live. Now that there finally will be, it may not happen again for a very long time so I’m definitely going to do everything in my power to be a part of it. I have the memory burned into my brain of watching Hulk vs. Andre at the Pontiac Silverdome live on pay per view with my friends and fast forward 25 years later and now it’s blowing my mind that I might be in the audience of an event of a similar scale just mere miles away from home. It’s all come full circle for me. Now if only we can assure that Steve Austin returns for one last match against C.M Punk!

Classic WWF/WWE Event Cards From New Jersey #8

Posted on August 13, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Damn, the WWE just doesn’t put on shows like they used to. Take note that Summerslam 1989 featured NINE matches on the card which included basically all their big stars. Of course, this wasn’t as much of a spectacle as Wrestlemania was back then, but still a lot of bang for your buck. Tomorrow, Summerlam 2011 will feature a mere 5 matches. And I don’t want to hear about how much better the wrestling quality is now, because at the end of the show, all that matters is how much was I entertained. I could care less if Daniel Bryan pulled off a near perfect surfboard maneuver. Hell yeah I want to see action, but moreover, I want to see controversy. I want Summerslam 2011 to be so damn good that it will make me want to call up my friends and actually converse with them over the phone – something I try my damnedest never to do. I’m hoping CM Punk pushes the boundaries even further this time.

As a kid I remember being so surprised that Wrestlemania 4 was going to be live from Atlantic City New Jersey. The following year, Wrestlemania returned to A.C! You could imagine how much more shocked and pumped up I was to hear the announcement that Summerslam ’89 would be emanating live from The Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, NJ. That was back in the days when it was actually called The Meadowlands. Selling the name of an arena to make millions of extra dollars in revenue is obviously a smart way to monetize an establishment but The Meadowlands Arena is what it still is to many of us in Jersey, not Izod Center. Shit, I’d prefer Brendan Byrne Arena, after all, that’s the guy who had his name plastered on the arena for the majority of my childhood.

I worshipped Coliseum Video as a kid.

Their P.O Box was in Fairfield NJ!

Regardless of what the former home of the New Jersey Devils is now called, back then, having Summerslam take place live merely 20 miles away from me was a real kick. Seeing Hogan and Beefcake tag up was awesome, but actually, Summerslam 89 was just OK. Even back then when I was a kid who loved every bit of it, I didn’t think 89’s Summerslam surpassed the original previous year’s edition fittingly held at MSG. Although, lots of these young punk “smarks” as they are referred to, think Summerslam ’88 sucked. Well, this old school wrestling fan says they don’t know shit. And yes, I’m drawing the heat. See you at Summerslam?

Mourning The Macho Man Randy Savage: My Macho Memories

Posted on May 21, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Sexy Armpit & Miss Sexy Armpit (top) Macho Man (bottom)

I’M IN MACHO MISERY RIGHT NOW. The news of the passing of Macho Man Randy Savage has wrestling fans and the entire world buzzing right now. Savage was not only an icon of sports entertainment but a fixture in popular culture for many years. Describing Savage as a hero of mine is an understatement. I’m sure there will be an outpouring of tweets, blog posts, and YouTube tributes, and rightfully so, but this post will serve as a collection of my own Macho Memories.

Many of my Macho Man memories involve Miss Elizabeth. She was such a huge part of his mystique after he hired her as his manager. It was a controversial move to hire a sexy female valet who many thought had no mastery of the wrestling business. As we all know, they were a match made in heaven and hopefully they’ve met up so Savage could hoist her up on his shoulders once again for old time sake.

I had been into wrestling for about 2 years at that point. During that period in the WWF I remember everyone buzzing about Macho Man and Elizabeth. They were a hot topic and the couple grabbed the attention of everyone, not only wrestling fans. When the Miss Elizabeth LJN action figure first came out I remember wanting it so bad. I waited and waited and finally I got a special opportunity from my parents on Christmas Eve that year. They let my sister and I open each others gifts. After ripping open the paper I was so excited to see that my sister got me the Miss Elizabeth figure! Now Macho Man would walk the aisle with some arm candy.

Some people look back fondly on the greatest moments of their life. Some cite winning a high school football championship, getting married, or winning a huge sum in the lottery as random memorable life moments. Believe it or not, some of the greatest moments of my life involve WWF and Macho Man Randy Savage. His heel win to become I-C Champ, Savages feud with George the Animal Steele who was in love with Elizabeth, Savage vs. Steamboat at Wrestlemania 3, all the events that lead to the formation of The Mega Powers, The Wrestlemania 4 tournament which concluded with Savage winning his first WWF World Championship and sharing the greatest moment of all time in the WWF with Miss Elizabeth and The Hulkster in Atlantic City NJ. Then the Mega Powers exploded in the same venue at the next Wrestlemania. Years later he was in memorable feuds with Jake The Snake and Undertaker, Flair, and Ultimate Warrior.

Life was so simple back then. Who cares if I sound old! On sunny and hot summer days I would walk down the local Rite Aid or ask my Dad to bring me to Quick Check and scan the magazine racks for the official WWF Magazine. A couple in particular made me literally explode with excitement. My sister dropped by while I was at a neighbors house to bring me the July 1988 issue with Savage on the cover. I nearly went into convulsions. I don’t think kids get this excited anymore over a magazine, but it made my month back then. I’d worship the pages and read the same articles over and over. It sounds incredible, but I can remember the exact moment I got most of them. I still have those magazines too.

Growing up, my best friend Frank and I were immensely influenced by Macho Man. It was easy for two best friends to call themselves The Mega Powers, but it was another to start filming themselves wrestle at a time when taping yourself wrestling wasn’t en vogue at all. At least in my neck of New Jersey, taping backyard wrestling matches wasn’t something that people we knew ever did. Leave it to us to spend our Friday and Saturday nights recording promos and matches while our friends went and “socialized” with each other. In our first match ever, we chose to explode the Mega Powers yet again just for the hell of it.

I know a lot of people claim that their parents are the greatest, but My Dad is seriously in the Dad Hall of Fame. He’s always been a fan of WWF right along with me. The fact that he interacted in my little obsession with me meant more than anyone could ever imagine. Through the big wrestling boom in the ’80s and then through the times when WWF fans got made fun of for still liking it well after it’s popularity surge was over – it was so cool to be able to share those moments with him. Of course he used to watch Saturday Night’s Main Event with me and bring me upstairs after I fell asleep on the couch, but there was one time in particular years later that will always stick out in my mind.

After Monday Night Raw premiered in 1993 I made it a big TV event. It was the highlight of my week. I set up my TV chair and grabbed my drink and snacks. Occasionally my Dad would watch with me, but other times if he was busy he would tell me to let him know if something good happens and he’ll come watch. That’s the kind of thing that meant a lot to me. I didn’t toss the baseball around much, I didn’t have much interest in sports or fixing cars, my world was all about WWF. He was a big fan of Macho Man and Razor Ramon at that time.

In 1994, prior to Wrestlemania 10, Randy Savage and Crush began a feud that was pretty hardcore in WWF at that time. My father and I were shocked as we witnessed Crush turn on Savage. Crush pressed Savage up over his head and dropped him onto the steel barricade, lacerating his tongue. We were both in awe of how this played out in a very realistic way. Since that was just before the computer era really took off, there were no spoilers or dirt sheets to ruin the storylines, so it was a vivid and surprising night on Raw. The feud culminated at Wrestlemania 10 in a falls count anywhere match, just over the river at Madison Square Garden in NYC. It was Savage’s last appearance at a Wrestlemania.

In recent times, Savage has kept a low profile but I’ve kept his spirit alive as much as I could. I’ve dressed up as Macho Man twice in the last couple of years. The first time was for a Halloween Costume Party at Asbury Lanes and my girlfriend dressed up as Miss Elizabeth. You can read more about that in this post. The next time I went with the classic lavender Macho Man T-Shirt and matching bandanna for my friend Jane’s surprise ’80s style birthday party. Each time it was a big hit and everyone was complimenting me on how good I pulled off the look. I even won runner up in the costume contest at Asbury Lanes.

I will miss you so much Macho Man, you were larger than life to me and no one will ever come close to having your unique blend of electric charisma and ring skills of a king. I hope the Fink announced you into heaven with Pomp and Circumstance echoing throughout the universe. “We’re gonna climb that mountain together and we are together forever Oooooh Yeah!” Elizabeth…DOWN THAT AISLE!

Santino Sunday Morning!

Posted on April 3, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Santino Saturday Night!

Posted on April 2, 2011 by sexyarmpit

From The WWE Fall Preview 2007: “From Paterson, NJ”

“Wrestlemahnia” as Santino Marella pronounces it, is upon us! Whether you’re a wrestling fan or not, it’s the Super Bowl of sports entertainment. That isn’t some cliched pop culture analogy either, it’s true. No matter how many cringe worthy moments there usually are at Wrestlemania, I still get excited for the event after all these years. And I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Snooki from Jersey Shore will attempt to channel her fiery cat fighting skills as well as her horrific fake tan to help John Morrison and Trish Stratus subdue Dolph Ziggler and Lay-Cool at Wrestlemania 27.

In honor of the funniest man in WWE, Santino Marella, I’ve dubbed tonight Santino Saturday Night. I’m sure you can guess what tomorrow morning is! Why would I dedicate an entire post to The Tortellini of Temptation? Aside from constantly making me laugh, when Santino was first introduced in WWE he hailed from Paterson New Jersey, which is spelled with one T contrary to it’s spelling in the picture above. Nowadays, he’s announced as being from Calabria, Italy, but he was actually born in Canada. No matter what, I still fondly recall the days that the WWE writers got a kick out of claiming he was from New Jersey. Tomorrow, Santino will team up with his partner Vladimir Kozlov, The Big Show, and Kane to take on I-C Champ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, and Justin Gabriel.

Tammy Lynn Sytch “Sunny” is March’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on March 23, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Boy, was I a horny little kid! Both sides of an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper isn’t nearly enough space to list all the crushes I had on famous women back when my age was in the single digits. Let me see, there was Yvonne Craig aka Batgirl, She-Ra, Marcia Brady, Nicole Eggert, Alyssa Milano Stephanie Zinone (Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2), Victoria Principal, Madonna, The Sagal twins, Miss Elizabeth…the list would literally take up 5-7 extremely long blog posts.

Eventually Playboy models would replace the aforementioned bevy of women and fictional characters on my list. Having an affinity for a pre-boob job Pamela Anderson and a fresh faced Jenny McCarthy helped create a new, more mature me. I felt that it was time to graduate from She-Ra to women who were more tangible with a greater ability to “satisfy me” in a roundabout sort of way. During the time I discovered those fine ladies, most of my friends were unaware of the beautiful women that lived within the pages of Playboy Magazine. Even though it was only a short time that I was able to brag to my circle of friends about “discovering” these sexy women, I still felt distinguished. In my mind I was sleeking around in a smoking jacket toking on a pipe like Hef.

My cavalcade of hot crushes were in their own exclusive world. Never for a minute could I imagine they would converge into my own little far off planet of comic books, music, and pro-wrestling. To my supreme excitement, it actually happened when Pamela Anderson walked Big Daddy Cool Diesel down to the ring while Jenny McCarthy escorted The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 11. It was a surreal moment considering it made me feel like my passion for these girls willed it to happen. It was that, or the fact that Vince McMahon has been wire tapping my phone since I was 6 years old. (The CIA refuses to entertain my suspicions despite my constant complaints.) Regardless of how it happened, these ladies weren’t marks for the business. I knew they were only appearing at Wrestlemania because of the big pay day. This large check gave them the option to enlarge or deflate their breasts at their every whim.

So…yeah…Playboy models are great but they’re so one dimensional, aren’t they? In 1995, a woman was about to enter my radar and totally obliterate all other sexy blips on it like she was the laser cannon in Space Invaders. The only difference? She wasn’t just made up of pixels, she was for real, she was from New Jersey, and she didn’t take anyone’s shit.

She is Tammy Lynn Sytch, aka Sunny: the first true WWE Diva. After working for Smoky Mountain Wrestling, Sunny entered the WWF as an on-air anchor promoting house shows. She eventually grabbed the attention of all the WWF fans as manager of the Bodydonnas. From then on, Vince and the WWF became bent on creating female superstars referring to them as “Divas.” Unfortunately for Divas past and present, none of them can or will ever hold a candle to Sunny.

Truly “making it” in pro wrestling takes guts, personality, and some severe delusions. Sunny had a perfect melange of all these ingredients. She was unabashed on the mic, a natural at generating heat with the crowd, and simply a born entertainer. Just like Sensational Sherri before her, Sunny wouldn’t think twice about interfering in a bout, distracting the ref, or getting caught up in a melee, as long as her men won the match. The fact that she was so good at being a “WWF Superstar” made her even more sexy in my eyes as well as in the minds of the millions of other wrestling fans who relentlessly downloaded her swimsuit pics on America Online. (Keep in mind, back then it took 5 minutes to download one low quality .jpg!)

To all the negative, idiotic, and obsessive freaks out there on the Internet who give wrestling fans a bad name: Sunny paved the way for all the Divas who came after her. You know the ones – the ones with non existent mic skills, the ones who can’t deliver their lines let alone remember them, the ones who look awkward in the ring, the ones who are in it not for the love of wrestling, but because they won a friggin’ contest. Sunny “brought it” all the time with that special factor that only few had. If Sable didn’t have gigantic fake boobs and never posed for Playboy, she would scarcely be remembered at this point. Unlike Sable, Sunny wasn’t just a pretty face, she knew the business. She can take her spot right next to the Bobby Heenans, Mr. Fujis, Jim Cornettes, and all the rest of them. There’s no doubt that Miss Elizabeth will always hold a special place in my heart, but she wasn’t much more than a valet and eye candy, while Sunny served both those purposes and more. Sunny owned her star quality which catapulted her to the forefront of storylines. She single handedly made the tag team scene in the WWF infinitely more interesting.

Sunny, was a sex symbol with actual talent for the business, a rare discovery. Sunny was the girl I didn’t think existed. A hot girl with a killer bod who was also into pro wrestling at a time when it had somehow become reserved exclusively for geeks. Was she for real, or did I create her in the garage with power tools? I began to move on from the Pams and Jennys as I realized that there would soon be an epic crossover as hot women surged into pro wrestling. Thank you Sunny for uniting these two worlds, and making us feel less geeky for being pro wrestling fans.

For other wrestling related articles check out the Classic WWE/WWF Event Cards from NJ !!!

Wrestlemania 4 & 5 @ Trump Plaza in Atlantic City!

Posted on February 27, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Here’s a recap of Wrestlemania’s 4 and 5 – the only Wrestlemania events to take place at the same venue back to back: Trump Plaza in Atlantic City. These events showcase 2 of my favorite wrestlers of all time, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. Even if you despise wrestling, give it a scan just for some Jersey nostalgia, and to check out Trump’s hairstyle that had it’s own VIP seat in the audience. With Wrestlemania 25 coming April 5th, the countdown is on!