Wrestlemania Week Begins!

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I came up with the ad for how a New Jersey Wrestlemania should look!
We’ve been waiting a whole year since the announcement that Wrestlemania 29 would emanate from Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. Finally, the time is upon us! LIVE from the home of the Giants and the Jets, Wrestlemania 29 all goes down on Sunday April 7th, 2013 live on Pay-Per-View.

It’s been a long standing battle as to why the Giants and the Jets are referred to as New York teams when they actually play in New Jersey. The same thing is happening with Wrestlemania 29. All of the official logos and advertisements feature a NY/NJ combo rather than just NJ where the venue clearly is. I can understand the fact that the venue and the teams that play in it are shared by NY and NJ, but in wrestling terms there should be no debate.
I took it upon myself to bury this nonsense by fixing the official Wrestlemania ad. Rather than show The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena, like the original, I replaced them all with wrestlers from New Jersey. Featured in The Sexy Armpit version of the Wrestlemania ad is the late Bam Bam Bigelow, the walking condominium King Kong Bundy, Diamond Dallas Page, one of my favorite indie wrestlers Jay Lethal, and present WWE Superstar A.J Lee. Notice A.J is proudly wearing her Sexy Armpit C.M Punk style t-shirt.
It doesn’t stop there for the Jersey-fied ad. Not only is the Jersey City skyline pictured in the distance, but there’s also a special attraction match!
This grudge match will settle the score for who is more Jersey. Jersey Shore inspired wrestler Robbie E. of TNA Wrestling facing off against Randy “The Ram” Robinson who lives in New Jersey in one of my favorite films, The Wrestler. Considering Robbie E. was mentioned in the movie, this would be a cool match to see. Randy “The Ram” feels that Robbie E. is making a mockery of his home state and Robbie E. feels that The Ram is all washed up. *We’ve confirmed that Randy survived his last match against the Ayatollah and he has clearance from his doctor to wrestle.



It’s A Living
If you’re a movie freak like me you probably have a fantasy list of movies that you wish were properly released on DVD. Sure, lots of movies and shows can be attained by buying bootleg versions on the Internet, but most of them have questionable quality and simply lack the sheen of an official release. As silly as it may sound, numero uno on my list is ’80s TV series It’s A Living starring Ann Jillian. At some point during the rest of my life, I want to be able to own the complete series on DVD. As mentioned by Gail Edwards, one of the shows stars on her website, the DVD may never come out because there are around 300+ songs used that the release company would have to pay to use. So, it looks like I won’t be getting my fill of my favorite waitresses unless people miraculously read this and start clamoring for the DVD, which is highly unlikely. Oh well, I still have the memories. Play it for me Sonny!

Doritos Dinamita Nacho Picoso and Wheat Thins Spicy Buffalo
In the first edition of GGG I mentioned how I wasn’t impressed at all by the new Doritos Jacked chips. Over the summer I did find a new version of Doritos called Dinamita at Walmart that made up for them a little bit. The chip is rolled up like a taquito and is a few levels spicier and packs a bit more heat than usual. The question I find myself asking – why can’t they just keep making the few flavors of traditional Doritos? Why keep screwing with a good thing? What I enjoyed more than both of these Doritos versions were Wheat Thins Spicy Buffalo. I love these so much. Definitely try them if you are a fan of both Wheat Thins and buffalo flavor.

Monster High Skull Shores
Frankie Stein Doll

Monster High Skull Shores
My shall we say fondness for Monster High dolls is about as well kept a secret as our former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy being gay. Hiding the fact that I love these macabre looking dolls is futile. I was immediately drawn to them when they came out 2 years ago. They are a perfect way to slyly incorporate the Universal Monsters into a kids toy line. They were released at the most perfect time too – I was actually thinking of starting to buy a few Living Dead Dolls at Monster Mania and Chiller to add to the collection, but luckily these came along. At first I tried to get my niece into them, but she didn’t seem too crazy about them. At this point I don’t own more than a few, but the latest one I picked up a few months back is my absolute favorite. In fact, if I had to part with the others that I have, this black and white Frankie Stein Skull Shores edition is quite enough for me.

Certain things make people geek out. For me, it’s usually the little things that make me flip. As a kid all that needed to happen for me to go ballistic was getting an action figure that I always wanted and couldn’t seem to find. Back then it was a $3 dollar piece of plastic or rubber and I was a happy camper. Now my elation is even cheaper – it’s FREE! It comes in the form of a simple re-tweet or reply on Twitter from people I have basically idolized or have had a crushes on. Sure I’ve had retweets/replies from a ton of cool people, but over the summer 2 retweets managed to make my whole year. 

Audrey Landers
Probably one of the longest crushes I’ve had on a celebrity is with Audrey Landers of Dallas fame and the film version of A Chorus Line. Ever since I was a kid I’ve been crazy about her. She replied to me after I sent her out a tweet saying that the new Dallas on TNT should have her back on the show. After a nice “thank you” reply I asked her if she would ever consider appearing at Chiller Theatre con in NJ and well what do you know? She and her sister will be at Chiller in October! Hopefully I’ll make it to her table without having my heart beat right out of my chest.


King Kong Bundy
Getting retweeted by the walking condominium himself King Kong Bundy was a real avalanche into the turnbuckle. The legendary wrestling heel, Bundy, hails from Atlantic City, NJ. As a little wrestling fan in the ’80s, Bundy was one scary mofo in my eyes. He had a huge dominant presence and was one of the few guys who could legitimately scare people. After headlining Wrestlemania 2 and popping up in a memorable mixed tag match in Wrestlemania 3, Bundy returned to WWE in ’94. I was always a big fan of his and a retweet from him is something I’d love to go back in time and tell my young self about. Bundy retweeted the Instagram of me posted above in my King Kong Bundy T-Shirt standing on the Atlantic City boardwalk, the site of Wrestlemanias 4 and 5.

Bam Bam vs. Bundy: The Battle For New Jersey!

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It doesn’t get more JERSEY than this classic WWF match-up! Asbury Park vs. Atlantic City! The Beast from the East vs. The Walking Condominium! Listen for Jesse “The Body” Ventura on commentary talking about how both of these guys hail from New Jersey early on in the match. It’s amazing that The Garden State is responsible for two of the most popular big men the business has ever seen. I remember watching this on TV when I was a kid and thinking it should’ve been on a Pay Per View. Even then I was a critic! I remember being excited for Bam Bam stealing the win even though it might have been the fastest count ever. Thanks to YouTube user VinceThePinch for posting the match!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 35: Moving

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Somehow everything in my life reverts back to Batman, KISS, and Pro Wrestling. In this instance, wrestling motivated me to want to see Moving back in 1988. If not for the pre-release coverage in WWF magazine, I would not have been as remotely interested in seeing the Richard Pryor comedy. Thanks to New Jersey’s “Walking Condominium,” King Kong Bundy’s role in the film, I suddenly became unusually geared up to see it. At that time I was just a kid and it would be a long time before I started obsessively writing little globs of inconsequential New Jersey drivel on the Internet. A private goes through boot camp to advance in the ranks of the Army, while other people let WWF Magazine be the handbook of their life.

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In Moving, Richard Pryor stars as Arlo, an engineer living in New Jersey who loses his job and has to take a new one in Boise, Idaho. There’s one tiny stipulation though, his family has to move with him. Throughout the film, there’s appearances by Rodney Dangerfield, Dana Carvey, and Jay and Silent Bob’s favorite lead singer…Morris Day! Terrorizing Arlo is his neighbor, Frank, played by Randy Quaid, who is a little more sadistic than his trademark role of Cousin Eddie. This time Quaid plays a creep with a brain tumor instead of a metal plate in his head. There’s wacky hijinks galore as Arlo attempts to relocate his family and start his new job.

After noticing that Richard Pryor has starred in 2 films set in New Jersey, it lead me to coin the term Pryor Points. Feel free to use the term to commend an actor, singer, band, writer, etc. who involves themselves in a Jersey related project, for example, “Writer Robert Siegel and director Darren Aronofsky scored major Pryor Points for setting their film, The Wrestler, in New Jersey.” Moving was unabashed about it’s Jersey setting as you can tell by it’s tagline: On the New Jersey Turnpike, no one can hear you scream. I’ll attest to that, but only if you are driving with your windows closed and nobody is in the car with you.

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I’m positive I’ll draw some flack for this, but Moving beats Brewster’s Millions any day. Sure, Moving might be accused of being sillier fare than Brewster’s Millions, but it’s a comedy dammit! Did I mention that motherf-ckin’ King Kong Bundy has a role in the film? It was worth bringing up again because knowing is half the battle, and awareness might save you from being smashed by an unexpected Bundy Avalanche. How could such a big cuddly Hawaiian-shirted teddy bear do such a thing?

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Ohhh…that’s how. 
You know the shit’s gonna hit the fan when Bundy makes his angry face.

 I suppose offering him up a Pupu platter would be a futile maneuver

See how everything relates to wrestling? All it takes is a 445 lb. ginormous badass from Atlantic City to get you to see it my way regardless of the Hawaiian shirt. Wait…what’s that you say? You still aren’t convinced that Moving is better than Brewster’s Millions? What if I throw in a young Stacey Dash, bound and tied in a suburban New Jersey basement? Ding ding, ding! WINNER!
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