A Septic Spiel of Spooky Scares, Super Heroes, and Strange Stories from Miles Beneath the Crud of New Jersey!
I’m not going to sit and pretend to be too cool for school. I know what a meme is, I’m just a little foggy on the details. I’ve never taken part in a meme before since it seems like some elitist blogger thing! Just joking…calm down you! Actually, I was under the impression that much like a Vampire comes into your home, I thought I had to be invited to do a meme. Heck, even if I wasn’t invited…I’m CRASHING! Meanwhile, over at Eclectorama’s blog, Chunky B wanted to show off just how geeky he was with certain pieces from his Batman collection. Toyriffic and others have joined the meme (gee, I don’t know what’s geekier, the stuff I’m about to show you or the fact that I keep referencing the word “meme” in this paragraph. I LOVE BEING A FREAKIN‘ NERD! MEME MEME MEME. It’s been my dream to do a meme.
Several blogs out there have mentioned that even though we’ve had such a high dosage of Batman within the past few months, we still can’t get enough. I never get tired of looking at other people’s Bat-collectibles and memorabilia. And now from my personal Batman collection I unveil to you items that would most classify me as a total geek.
Solely by definition alone, this piece of my Batman collection is solidified as the most technically geeky. I’ve had this Batman bookmark since I was a little punk like Jason Todd. The manufacturer is One Stop Posters 1987.
Here we have 2 sets of bat cuffs which I HAVEN’T used in a sexual manner…YET. I’m always waiting to pull these out of my utility belt along with a latex prophylactic. In this little scenario that’s going on in my mind right now, I smirk at the camera, then I proceed to get out of my bat suit, leaving the cape and cowl on of course. Women love the mystique! Then we’re doing the Batusi all night, OHH! Seriously though, it’s a sin to know that they aren’t being put to proper use. I’d much rather see them clutching the wrists of a frisky Selina Kyle or a playful Barbara Gordon. As for Nocturna well…she can put me in the damn things, lose the key, and have her way with me.
One of the headliners in my collection that I consider special is my limited edition Batman Lighted sculpture by Headlites. It’s been in my room since ’92 and it’s even followed me to my bedroom in my own condo. Even though I’m not a kid anymore, Batman is still a major part of my life and always will be. When I was young my dad used to ask me “Jay, do you think you’ll still like Batman when you get older?” I’d rebut the question with a resoundingly positive response as if he put me on trial. Once you’re a Batman fan then you’re one for life! How’s that for geek cred, huh?
Believe it or not, there’s so much more random Batman stuff to be brought into the spotlight here at The Sexy Armpit. I’m not going to blow it all out right now though. Remember, we’ve got The Dark Knight DVD release that will surely bring more Batman posts your way! For now please take a look at these other Bat-related posts that are just as super geeky:
Yeah, I knew you would like that one! The illustration above shows the awe and anticipation most of us felt for the Batman movies! This piece was done by friend and fellow blogger extraordinaire Bubba Shelby. He maintains several blogs such as my personal favorite, Toyriffic! and he also displays his art at bubbashelby.blogspot.com. His sketches and illustrations are bright, fun to look at, and filled with personality. Go there and you’ll see his Supergirl/Batgirl hybrid, his take on the ’60s Batmobile, and even Zatanna! If you’re not much of a fanboy then don’t worry! His subject matter doesn’t only include superheroes, you’ll also see some of his original characters and sketches as well. In the last couple of years he’s posted so many awesome illustrations that you’ll want to go through his entire archive! So pay him a visit Sexy Armpit style! Here’s 2 of my favorites:
Skipper was the younger, more experimental sister of Barbie. She was certainly trendy but not as mature as Barbie was in terms of her chest region. Skipper was just discovering the world right along with me. Her and I had alot of chemistry. We both loved the beach and doing other cool stuff like well…going to the beach. You see, when I was 4 years old, it was much more appealing to be involved with an energetic, fresh faced, blue-eyed blonde with spunk than a twenty-something skank who’s been around the block more times than an ice cream truck. She was right up my alley because she was young, petite, and had blonde hair. She was everything I looked for in a girl. Skipper’s appearance changed numerous times throughout the years but the cute, blonde skipper is the one I remember.
Skipper seemed filled with a lust for life that Barbie seemed to have lost. The thought of Skipper being closer to me in age really grabbed me. I felt like I had more of a chance with her. Barbie was off in her Dream House with Ken biting her pillow while the vulnerable, impressionable, and parentless Skipper didn’t have much to do. I felt like even though I was younger than her I could sort of rescue her from her older sisters neglect and out of control cocaine habit. Remember, it was the ‘80s.
She wasn’t a promiscuous teenager either. She liked the chase. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be with her. When Barbie was babysitting Skipper, I would come and hang out with both of the hotties. And naturally, my chances were a lot better with Skipper, although if Ken was at work who knew what types of debauchery could take place in the DREAM HOUSE! OK so, nothing really badass happened like that but I did get to “explore” quite a bit.
I remember being very distressed over the fact that Skipper shared the same name as a character on Gilligan’s Island, a show I watched relentlessly as a kid. Lets face it, Skipper wasn’t really nautical in any way but who said Barbie dolls made any sense? I can’t provide a good reason as to why Skipper had numerous other ludicrous nicknames. Let’s take a look at some: Hot Stuff Skipper, Horse Loving Skipper, (that‘s just wrong, why didn‘t they just name her Bestiality Skipper?) Super Teen Skipper, (what a coincidence, something just popped up on my computer screen that said Super Teen Stripper) And finally, talk about overlap, there was Sun Lovin’ Malibu Skipper and Sunsational Malibu Skipper!
While I was very young I was attracted to Skipper but as I started to get a little older I began to appreciate the finer things in life. As a few years past, Jem and the Holograms opened new doors for me. What could I say, I liked the rock chicks with big hair. Not only in cartoons but in real life I was digging rocker chicks also. From Lita Ford to Vixen they had the spotlight when I was a kid.
So, my taste in women matured when Barbie suddenly decided she wanted to be a rock star. It was 1985 and Barbie wouldn’t let Jem and the Holograms steal her thunder: “No way bitch I’ve been around for 25 years and I could rock out too.” Hence Barbie and the Rockers were born. What 7 year old boy wasn’t at least a little turned on by Barbie and Rockers? Okay probably NONE of you. But they did have their own stage and instruments!
Chicks with multicolored hair have always been a huge turn on for me. Chances are, if you have any type of neon color running through your hair I’ll think it’s cool. I’m easily sold. Perhaps this was a residual effect from the Jem period of my youth?
This article doesn’t mean I have some kind of weird doll fetish but DAMN people have fetishes for everything nowadays. There’s porn of cartoon characters which baffles me. How anyone can get off to that is beyond me. I seriously wouldn’t doubt there’s a niche for doll erotica. This article is merely about the shock that came over me when I realized, “Holy Shit, Barbie is f’n HOT!” Old school Barbie dolls were pretty generic looking dolls. They’ve gotten more glamorous and detailed over the years but they haven’t been closer to resembling an ACTUAL HOT CHICK than they do NOW! And Supergirl? Fughetabout it! Cosplay Barbies? Wowee. Who doesn’t love a girl dressed as Supergirl, Batgirl, or Wonder Woman? All of us geeky superhero obsessed dudes would take that any day. Ahem..If she wasn’t made of plastic that is.
The other day I had a revelation. I realized that since I was a kid I always enjoyed watching the transformation of a character in TV or movies. I can’t say for sure which transformation I witnessed the earliest but I know that it’s all derived from the Jekyll & Hyde theme. There’s always been cartoons like Looney Tunes, O.G Readmore, and others that have featured characters transforming into and evil one. In other instances a hero would transform from a normal everyday person into a Superhero like Clark Kent running into a phone booth to come out as Superman. Those montages always had great appeal to me so I searched You Tube to feature some of the best transformations right here. There’s many more so feel free to leave a comment with some of your favorites!
Probably one of the most memorable transformations belongs to the Incredible Hulk:
Here’s what happens when Barbara Gordon opens her secret revolving wall…
I can’t leave out Michael J. Fox’s “changes” in Teen Wolf. Also, Michael Jackson’s transformation into the werewolf in Thriller is classic.
The forming of Voltron!
Prince Adam becomes He-Man:
Mumm-Ra, The EVER LIVING!