TNA’s Hardcore Justice Reunites Original ECW Crew


I keep hearing “F*ck You Vince” chants linger in my head. The ferocity and passion of ECW fans fueled that anti-Vince McMahon chant, even though he IS the father of modern day professional wrestling. Why was the crowd audibly burying the Vin-man during the finale of TNA’s Hardcore Justice pay per view on Sunday night? Because Vince refused to give ECW the proper send off they deserved. After WWE consumed ECW they downgraded it into another secondary show. Do you think ECW was going to give up and die that easily? It turns out they didn’t need the name recognition of WWE Superstars, they didn’t need their own ring names or company name, and they didn’t even need their leader Paul Heyman to reign supreme.

Former co-host of The Sexy Armpit Radio Show, The F.B.I’s Big Sal E. Graziano 
makes his summer residence at The Jersey Shore in Snooki’s pool house

Most of the guys who were called to appear at the TNA event were enthusiastic to relive a night of glory, and you know what? They deserve it. After Vince McMahon made ECW into a generic, stripped down WWE show, it ended the ECW legacy on a strange note. Do you even remember that Ezekial Jackson went out as the last ECW champion? The Abraham Washington Show? WWE Diva Tiffany as GM? It was definitely NOT a fitting send off. Regardless of what some “critics” are saying, Hardcore Justice succeeded. Aside from not hearing Joey Styles call the matches and the absence of Paul Heyman, for fans of ECW, this was a proper reunion.

TNA wrestler Matt Morgan talked about how he used to be a bouncer at Bar A in Belmar, NJ when they held an ECW show in their volleyball sandpit. “People came by the drones,” Morgan said. Did you mean droves, Matt?

Although playing second fiddle to WWE is not TNA’s mission statement, it’s a title they have been living with for several years now. Dedicating an entire pay per view to ECW was a risky manuever by owner of TNA, Dixie Carter. It was a chance to say “Hey, we’re not only a wrestling company, but we are fans of wrestling history as well.” Even the most superficial fan has to respect that the company handed over the booking for an entire pay per view to Tommy Dreamer and told the rest of their roster to take the night off. Or is it just that TNA was in a paralyzing submission hold desperately reaching for the ratings rope? Whatever their reasoning, I had fun watching the event.

“Kahoneys” aka Balls Mahoney hails from NUTley, New Jersey

The fact that the ECW guys were reuniting on a show run by a company who is hungry to finally establish themselves lent a more genuine feel as opposed to having Vince throw tons of money at the ECW alums just to have an artificial moment and higher buy rates. In fact, this was almost too genuine. Some of the competitors haven’t missed a step. Seeing The F.B.I cut a rug…I mean a ring mat, hearing that Simon STILL has a problem, Kid Kash’s spring board off the top rope, and the extreme drama of Raven and Tommy Dreamer’s final showdown showed that these guys are still as entertaining and bookable today.

Raven was born in Short Hills, NJ

Gross Observations #2: Holiday Edition ’07

Why is it that only kids from 1 to 92 get the simple phrase ? What about the rest of them? Do they get a more complex phrase?

What’s all this talk of lighting up trees?

I’m awarding the late, great Karen Carpenter with a Golden Armpit Award for coining the word “Christmasing” in The Carpenter’s Merry Christmas Darling. Heck, even if she didn’t coin it, she still won for best use of the word.

Why is it that Christmas cards are so important? They could make you or break you! If you don’t buy a certain person in your family a nice enough card they’ll totally trash you.

The best part of the cold weather is going outside and getting that first whiff of neighbors using their fireplace. It’s such a great smell.

I wonder how the gay community feels this time of year about the fact that we’re donning all their apparel?

In North Carolina, do they let Heaven and Nature Boy sing? Whoooo!

For some reason I have a fear that one of these days some “genius” Hollywood producer is going to greenlight a remake of Home Alone. Not a sequel…a remake. This will be an abominable mistake. The original is a classic and I still get a kick out of it ’til this day. Much like A Christmas Story it conjures up all those excellent feelings you got during the holidays when you’re a kid.

Why do we write “Xmas” with an X? Wouldn’t that be Crossmas? Maybe even “Multiplied By-mas” It has nothing to do with the number 10 and it’s definitely not “Mark the Spotmas” Who came up with that one?

Wasn’t Last Christmas a much different song when you heard it for the first time AFTER you found out that George Michael was gay? And who is the moron who let Ashley Tisdale murder that song? Holy Crap! William Hung would’ve done a better job!

Forgive me if it sounds perverse but 8 maids a milking actually sounds kinda hot. How that gift was not opened earlier than the 8th day is beyond me. I’m hoping that on the 9th day I get a digi-cam to record that shit. You Tube here I come!

One year I saw mommy kissing Tiny Tim. It wasn’t the ill Cratchit boy though, it was actually Tiny Tim the ’60s ukelele sensation. I’ll never forget that Christmas.

How come no one has harped on the fact that there’s a song that exists called “Back Door Santa“??

I realized the other day as I was completing a holiday purchase at a department store that I left the counter and said Merry Christmas! I don’t give a fuck. Christmas seems to have become a non denominational holiday. So all of that PC crap we’ve been hearing about the past few years, like how you can’t say Merry Christmas – that’s all gone to shit. You can say it to anyone now. That’s the rule…I just made it! Merry F–king Christmas!

Choke on this:

Some crazy fat woman in the audience on RAW just yelled “I hope you choke on your own asshole” to Carlito after he annihilated Ric Flair. How does one choke on his or her own asshole? She must’ve felt very passionate about Ric Flair not getting his ass kicked. McMahon should just let this crazy fat woman fight Carlito in the next PPV. I think that would be way better than the stuff they’ve been doing. It’s pretty sad when getting a peek at Mickie James’ thong that’s 3 sizes too small is the highlight of their show. Hey, Melina’s thong ain’t so bad either! They’ve come a long way from Bertha Faye vs. Bull Nakano. On the other hand, not much has changed since Cena beat Khali at Judgement day on Sunday in a very similar manner to his win against Umaga a few months ago. You know what would be a great match? The Great Khali vs. Giant Gonzalez and you might as well throw Bastion Booger into the fray come to think of it. He could be the special guest referee.