NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 94: Eastbound & Down

An I LOVE NJ T-Shirt appears in Chapter 18 of Eastbound & Down

Kenny f’n Powers! Just when I thought his antics couldn’t get any more offensive, deplorable, and insanely hysterical, he sinks to new depths in the 3rd and final season of Eastbound & Down on HBO.

As Kenny deals with April deserting him and the challenges of being a father, his quest to get back to the major league still consumes him. Filming took place in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina where Kenny plays on the Myrtle Beach Mermen.

The end of Chapter 18, which aired last Sunday, gave us a sample of what kind of loony performance we can expect from Lily Tomlin who is playing Kenny’s mother. I’m sad to see the show come to an end, but I’m anxious to see Danny McBride show up in other movie and TV roles.

Batman Broadcast on WWOR Channel 9

Batman WWOR 9 TV Guide Ad

Constantly claiming that things were always better 15-20 years ago is a habit that I never wanted to get into. While it’s not true in some cases, everything always does seem better in hindsight. The music sounded better, movies were more entertaining, and in this case, there was more to watch on TV – even though I only had 6 channels. Nowadays, with a copious amount of programming options, like 800 channels worth, it’s no cliche to say that I still can’t find anything to watch.

When I was a kid I remember the period of time when we did not have cable TV. Although cable was gaining popularity, we held out. At that time, we secretly lusted for channels like HBO, MTV, and Nickelodeon. We eventually convinced my Dad to let us get cable, but I remember being fine with the typical broadcast channels. WPIX 11 was one of my favorites because they always showed cool reruns and great afternoon movies, but I was also loyal to WWOR 9. Channel 9 relocated to Secaucus NJ in the early ’80s and my family and I would pass the building all the time on our way to visit with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins.

If you aren’t from Jersey then it’s difficult to fully understand how slighted we are media wise. We are a state so jammed with people and yet if you live in the northern and central regions of the eastern part of the state,we have to watch New York stations and those to the south and west watch Philadelphia stations. What the hell is that about? The minute you drive down to southwest Jersey everyone is in love with the Philadelphia Eagles and watches Philly TV news broadcasts. Never made sense to me.

Channel 9 had the same annoying problem that the old Giants Stadium and New Meadowlands Stadium have. People always refer to them as being in New York. Why do we even have MAPS!?! Talk about being a state that gets crapped on. Can’t we just have our own things? New Jersey is the Peter Brady of the United States.

The above ad is just an example of how great channel 9 was. Not only did they offer quality programming but also created amusing ads for the TV Guide! It goes to show how cool the ad was since I kept in for over 20 years now. I used to get so excited when The 1966 Batman movie was on TV. Several years later channel 9 became even more awesome to me when The Howard Stern Show premiered. And people who weren’t aware or didn’t care still thought Secaucus was in New York City.

Monster Mini Golf vs. Monster Cable Lawsuit Dropped

Monster Cable, the company that’s quite possibly responsible for manufacturing the HDMI cable running to your flatscreen in your living room, has dropped it’s ridiculous lawsuit against Monster Mini Golf. I had such a fun time at Monster Mini Golf that I uploaded some video I shot when I was there, did a write up, and they sent me some passes for a giveaway here on the Armpit. I know it seems like they’re paying me, but they aren’t!
This was a dispute where Monster Cable felt that the name “Monster Mini Golf” was infringing on their trademark. Check out the Engadget post about it here. What strikes me about this whole dispute is that they never went after Monster Beverages who manufactures energy drinks. Anyone who isn’t high off his ass from a speedball right now can realize that Monster Mini Golf would NEVER be confused with a company that makes super high priced audio/visual cables. Why didn’t they also pick on Monster Ballads while they were at it? For anyone interested, Monster Mini Golf locations can be found all over the country. For a list of them, go here. Meanwhile, if you still have no idea what they are all about, then check out my little Monster montage:

Should Layla Kayleigh Play The Clone Wars’ Ahsoka Tano?


I must seriously question your midichlorian count if you aren’t a fan of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Although, surprisingly, the film and TV series have a large sand barge full of detractors. For some reason, many online folks have focused their feelings of disgust and hatred toward Anakin’s padawan, Ahsoka Tano. Actually, I can’t find anything about her character that I DON’T enjoy. She’s not annoying unlike some of the propaganda circulating on the Internet will tell you. Ahsoka proves to be a young, strong, female character who girls can look up to. When their friends or brothers are emulating Anakin or Obi-Wan, girls need a hero too! Thankfully, Ahsoka wasn’t given a stereotypical accent much like some of the other characters in the prequels (i.e Watto, Jar Jar, and Nute Gunray, to name a few). Ashley Eckstein flawlessly provides Ahsoka’s voice, but what if Ahsoka were to appear in the live action TV show? Who would be best for the role? 

Keep in mind that Ahsoka is merely 14 years old, but I think we can stretch the age limit a little bit here. If Gabrielle Carteris and the rest of the cast of the original 90210 did it, then so can George Lucas! I choose Layla Kayleigh, a natural beauty who hosts The Feed on G4’s Attack of the Show and America’s Best Dance Crew on MTV among other TV credits. She’s only 24 and in addition to modeling, Layla has starred in a film and runs her own video blog. I find her physical features and diverse ethnic background to be prime reasons why she would be perfect for the role of Ahsoka. According to Wikipedia, Kayleigh has “African, European, and Middle Eastern ancestry.” What do you say Layla? Are you up for the Jedi training? How do the readers of The Sexy Armpit feel about it? 


Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein at The Union County Arts Center 1998

I’m definitely on board with the whole nostalgia fascination, but I have to say…it’s making me feel so damn old! Digging back into The Sexy Archives has really made me start to think that I need to reserve my space at the senior citizens home. I guess that’s what I get for keeping old stuff.


Here’s my ticket to a special Halloween showing of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein on October 29th, 1998 at the Union County Arts Center in Rahway, NJ.  The Union County Arts Center is the former Rahway Theater which was an old silent movie palace built in 1928 that has been fully restored. The theater is listed on the National and State Registers of Historic Places. 

It was free to get in to see the film since it was sponsored by AMC’s Monsterfest House of Horrors.  Every year AMC is known for showing a shitload of great horror movies during the month of October. Earlier today during an exciting fun filled weekend of doing laundry, I was lucky enough to catch AMC’s marathon of Halloween films! When a movie is airing on TV, I’m more inclined to watch than if I have to dig into the vast abyss of my DVD collection to find the specific film. For this year’s lineup you can check out AMC’s Fear Fest schedule.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) has always been a favorite film of mine, especially as a kid during Halloween. My father showed me a bunch of the Abbott and Costello films and I always enjoyed their brand of humor. This film was the ultimate meeting of humor and horror. The universal horror icons, Dracula, Frankenstein, and Wolfman (and perhaps another special guest!) were all weaved into the plot in an ingenious way. What makes the film stand out as a classic film, not just a horror film or comedy, was its atmosphere. There were some genuinely spooky parts of the film that always attracted me to watching it, but there were also a slew of really funny moments. The typical Abbott and Costello hijinks are present and the “funny” seems to be intensified since they were both experts at acting scared out of their minds.
From Wikipedia:
– In 2001, the United States Library of Congress deemed this film “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry

– In September 2007, Reader’s Digest selected the movie as one of the top 100 funniest films of all time. 
I’m glad I got a chance to see Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein in a classic movie house. It’s disappointing because there aren’t too many opportunities in the NY/NJ area to get to see classic films on the big screen. It’s a treat to visit The Landmark Loews Jersey Theater when they have film festivals, and it’s rare but Radio City Music Hall has them once in a while as well. I wish there was a theater that was dedicated to showing only horror movies old and new. That’s an idea that would rake in the dough. I know I’d be there at least once a week! 



Check out Denizens of Darkness who has a great original piece of artwork inspired by a scene from the film.

Well isn’t that just f—ing Comcastic!

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to connect a friggin‘ cable box. Why is that when you want to get a brand new cable subscription they want a cable guy to come to your house and hook it up for you? The installation charges, $9.95, were minimal and didn’t bother me. What I find ridiculous is that they shouldn’t make it mandatory that someone comes to your home. It should be a service that’s offered if you’re a total doofus when it comes to anything even remotely technical. I thought they had self install kits but after asking about it, they claim they only offer that for High Speed Internet and not cable.
When you schedule the cable guy to come to your home they’re nice enough to give you a window of time that he’s supposed to come. That estimate is about as accurate as saying “Well sir, he possibly might come at some point during the day.” “He’ll be there between 1 and 3 PM” said the woman on the other end of the phone at Comcast. As the time neared 2:30 I was on the phone in no time asking where this motherf’er is. I had to be in my condo at 1 and stay until 3, and when it was 3 he was nowhere to be found. I get a call at around 3:30 from the cable guy who will be coming. He’s completely lost and he barely speaks English. I gathered from my keen observation skills that he was asking me to help him get to my condo so I needed to stay on the phone. Well wasn’t he a little lost, pushy bastard! There I was waiting in the empty condo trying to explain to this guy who had marbles in his mouth how to get to my condo from a neighboring town less than 2 miles away. As I clearly explained what route to take he still asked me to stay on the phone with him. Shouldn’t DIRECTIONS be something that these guys leave their building with? Perhaps a brain might come in handy as well. How are these guys going to get their jobs done without a Mapquest printout or a freakin‘ GPS system in their truck? What if they send Fedex guys out to drop off packages without giving them the addresses of the places they need to go?
The guy finally gets to the condo at 4:30 pm and obviously goes to the wrong building as I stand in my window and throw my forehead into my hand in disgust. I call him to tell him he’s going into the wrong building. (Numbers are blatantly marked on the windows of the building lobbies.) Once he comes in he hands me the cable box and asks ME if I knew how to hook it up! I felt like telling him, we could have avoided this mess if they would have just let me do it on my own. That’s why I asked if I could do it on my own to begin with. After he basically asked if I could do his job for him and still pay Comcast $9.95, I began hooking it up in mere seconds while he went outside to make sure the switch to my unit was turned on. When he came back he asked me if I had a drink for him. I said “Sure what would you like, I have soda, water, iced tea?”” He asked if I had Sprite. Well aren’t we picky now! He should have been thankful that I was so agreeable with his request. I said “I have Mountain Dew.” He said he wanted that and he gulped it down like his body depended on this dew to keep him alive. What’s wrong with these guys? They have no drinks for them either? A vending machine? Once he started on the internet he had to call in my mac address because I have my own modem. His call on his cell phone kept dropping and he had to keep calling back in. (He called back in 3 times because every time he read the mac address she couldn’t hear it.)
And the moral of the story: I was impatient. If I had waited just a few days after this fiasco I saw a Comcast commercial on TV advertising their latest promotion: Cable self install kits. FUUUCK!