Valentine’s Eve Starring Jason Voorhees?


Many people say Valentine’s Day is lame and stupid, but they’re mostly single people. Even though it is a pretty hokey holiday (if you want to call it a holiday), I usually just embrace it as I do most other holidays. If you have even the slightest degree of appreciation for your loved ones, I’m sure you’ve scanned the selection of Valentine’s Day cards at the local grocery or convenience store and found a bunch of generic B.S. That’s why I looked to Zazzle this year. It’s where I found one of the coolest Valentine’s Day cards ever.

*Spoiler Alert – I probably should’ve given this to Miss Sexy Armpit last night, but I hadn’t finished writing the message inside of it yet. Maybe she can act surprised when she opens it! This is a perfect V-day card for horror fanatics out there, especially fans of Friday the 13th!  It’s a little late now, but order it for next year and you’ll be prepared. Keep in mind, you won’t find this Happy Valentine’s Eve card in stores. Click over to Zazzle where you can get this card or its graphic on a t-shirt as well.

A New Jersey Christmas Card by David Price

Mother Armpit found these cards for me when she was out shopping. Don’t moms always find the best stuff? These limited edition cards are 100% sustainable and made in the USA by Allport Cards in Oregon. A portion of the profits from the cards go to charitable causes. In case you were getting jealous, several other states are available as well as other variations such as wine lovers, Shakespeare lovers, etc, but the NJ card is a best seller according to the Allport site. The art by David Price was done with pen and ink on paper and you can check out his other work that appears on cards and towels here.

Atlantic City Card Sharks


If trivia was a possible area of study in college I would’ve excelled rapidly to a master’s degree in it. To prove it, I offer a bit of trivia for you in honor of Shark Week. Not to be confused with the classic game show involving those supersized playing cards, Card Sharks, The Atlantic City Card Sharks were a team in the NIFL for only one season. Unfamiliar with the NIFL? Don’t worry, I polled the entire universe and even parallel universes and there were only 26 people who remembered the NIFL. The National Indoor Football League was completely separate from the Arena Football League (The AFL), but according to it’s official website, “high quality entertainment” was the goal of the team in it’s first and only season.


The Card Sharks were coached by former Oakland Raider Mike Siani. They played home games at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City and after a record of 9-5, the team folded in 2004. Perhaps the only greater accomplishment than gaining a winning record in the NIFL was the fact that Trump Plaza issued a commemorative limited edition $10 dollar casino chip in the Card Sharks honor.


I say they should’ve kept those dancers around, and even the mascot! I wouldn’t mind watching them put on a little show while walking down the A.C boardwalk. Hell, why don’t they just have the Card Shark mascot run rampant on the A.C beach? He could weave in and out of the crowds of people suntanning while making lewd hand gestures, stealing people’s drinks, and sprinting into the ocean yelling “SHARK!” at the top of his lungs…now that’s high quality entertainment!

Batman Playing Cards

In my Christmas stocking for a few years I found sets of Batman playing cards. I used to think that since I wasn’t a big card player except for my big win in the “Go Fish Tournament of Champions” in ’86 that these cards were pretty useless to me. Considering almost every other thing in my room is Batman related these playing cards probably felt terribly neglected. You would think because these were such badass card sets that It would’ve made me want to play more cards, right? Well, that wasn’t the case. Recently I came to terms with these cards and realized that they are merely an addition to my Batman collection. If I were to play cards, let’s say, on my converting gaming bar that I never use, I highly doubt I’d whip these babies out for everyone to get their slimy hands on. Yeah right! Don’t underestimate my analness! I’m much more paranoid about my collectibles than that. Of course I have a regular set to play with that are NOT Batman, so relax!

For some reason it seems that every set of Batman playing cards was top quality. The cards were glossy and weren’t thin and flimsy like alot of card sets. The Animated Series set was by far the best because all of the cards featured almost the entire cast of characters in the show. The more recent “The Batman” card set runs a close second since every card has artwork from the show, but not enough of Batman’s rogue’s gallery! The Batman Returns set only featured photos on the face cards so that was a bummer. The Joker card in the Batman Returns set wasn’t even Joker since he wasn’t in the movie, so they slapped one of the skeletal members of the Red Circus Gang on the front of it. I don’t own the card sets for the other films but judging by these cards, I’m sure they were well done also. My dream playing card set would include Ace the Bat Hound on the ACE card, Matches Malone on the JACK card, King Tut on the KING card, and Marcia Queen of Diamonds on the Queen card. Who would you pick to be featured on your set?