WIN A Klondike Bar and Michael Ian Black’s Book My Custom Van!

Michael Ian Black and Klondike Giveaway

In this post we hope you’ll learn a few life lessons like how to double knot your shoelaces, how to unscrew a cap from a 2-liter soda bottle, and how to enter to win a Klondike Bar, and as if that wasn’t sweet enough, we’ll throw in a copy of Michael Ian Black’s book, My Custom Van And 52 other Mind-Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face!!! Michael Ian Black grew up in New Jersey and isn’t afraid to admit it:

My Custom Van
page 223 of My Custom Van as Black discusses Doritos

Here at The Sexy Armpit, the esteemed humorist Michael Ian Black is held in very high regard, and so are Klondike Bars. Smooshing the two of them together might be heavenly, yet kind of weird when you think about it. Black would probably get really cold and fairly sticky, not to mention that he probably won’t taste anywhere near as good as the thicker, chocolaty Klondike Bar does, (sorry ’bout that Michael). Plus, we’d have to shrink Black down so he wouldn’t be inordinately larger than the ice cream filled Klondike Bar.

The good people at Klondike have not only provided us with a coupon for a FREE Klondike Bar product but also a fine collection of entertaining “man on the street” sketches starring Michael Ian Black! What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike Bar? It turns out, you don’t have to do all that much! Who needs an overly complicated giveaway anyhow? All you have to do to enter is view the set of 5 videos and tell us which one you like the best. The winner will be chosen at random and announced right here at The Sexy Armpit. Deadline to enter is 9/1/09.

To watch the videos go here: and click on the TV set, then e-mail which one you like the best.

While serving as Klondike’s man on the street, Black resides in “the library of treats” where he concocts cold, delicious Klontinis while being waited on by cute snack girls. It’s a life we can all envy. In case you haven’t heard about it, you can watch Michael Ian Black’s latest comedic exploits in Michael and Michael Have Issues, Wednesdays on Comedy Central.

As for Klondike Bars, they’re still cold chillin’ in the freezer section of the supermarket, but I wasn’t aware of the various flavors they’re now offering. My upcoming mission is to try the Oreo Cookies and Cream, Dark Chocolate, and Reese’s varieties of the Klondike Bar. If you’re trying to watch your girlish figure, then I suggest you pick up a pack of the no sugar added or 100 calorie versions. You can follow @The_Klondikebar on Twitter.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.22: The State

The entire series of MTV’s The State was released on DVD last week, and as Chris Gore of AOTS says: this one is a definite BUY!!! If you feel at all compelled to get the collection but you don’t have the money right now, then get a second f–king job! Everyone should own one of the most pants pissingly hilarious shows ever. The State’s fresh, offbeat humor remains considerably different than other sketch comedy shows such as SNL. As I watch these episodes nearly 15 years after they first aired, I wonder what kind of anachronism occurred in this world that The State isn’t still in production.

In the first season of The State, former Hillsborough, NJ resident Michael Ian Black provides us with valuable insight on how to get laid at a Youth Conference in the sketch “On-Air Personality”:

“A couple of pointers for when you’re looking to dip your wick. First off…drink up, everybody looks alot better after a couple of cocktails. And nothin’ works better for loosening up lips or legs than a few well timed Harvey Wallbangers.”
“…And finally, afterwards, when she’s done telling you off, don’t give her your real phone number, I like to use the number of an Arby’s in New Jersey. You don’t have to use an Arby’s, it’s just something I like to do.”
I’m laughing just typing this.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 6: Wet Hot American Summer

You get a F for today if you’ve never seen Wet Hot American Summer. Shame on you! It’s an f’n classic! The summer camp comedy set in 1981, is chock full of comedians you love. You actually get an F-minus if you’ve only caught bits and pieces on Comedy Central at 3am once because you were bombed out of your mind, and the TV was already tuned to Comedy Central when you flipped the TV on. That’s even more feeble than completely not having seen it at all. With that said, if you are from Jersey you’ll greatly appreciate the NJ references, specifically the T-Shirts!

McKinley (Michael Ian Black) dons an awesome Clifton High School Track ringer T-Shirt throughout the film, while Gary (A.D Miles) rocks a Betty Jane Tavern Tee, which used to be an actual bar that existed in Lake Hopatcong, NJ. Both of these shirts are available at Found Item Clothing.

Pictured above is Caped Boy, a possible precursor to Augie in Role Models. This is his studly attempt at enticing the girls at camp: “Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Millburn, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard, I am recently a crowned class B dungeon master. So, if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Here’s a few more reasons why NJ is so prevalent in a film that’s supposed to take place in Maine:
Paul Rudd = born in Passaic, NJ
Janeane Garofalo = born in Newton, NJ
Michael Showalter = born in Princeton, NJ
and one of my all time favorites,

Michael Ian Black = moved to Hillsborough, NJ when he was young!
If you enjoyed Role Models, then you’ll definitely laugh your ass off at this one. Also look out for one of Bradley Cooper’s early roles, you know…that guy from Wedding Crashers…and that other one you may have heard of…The Hangover.
For an awesome blog dedicated to the coolest T-Shirts head over to

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 3: Wedding Daze


In the criminally overlooked movie Wedding Daze, aka The Pleasure of Your Company, 2006 Ted (Michael Weston) is damn proud to wear his “I Lost My Ass in Atlantic City” shirt. I know what you’re saying right now “But Jay, he’s wearing a 3/4 sleeve, how could you possibly include this in a column that strictly spotlights T-Shirts?” And to that I say, very eloquently, “Give me a f–king break! The title of the column would sound stupid if it were just NJ Shirt Tuesday.” Boy, alliteration is really special, isn’t it?


Wedding Daze is written and directed by Michael Ian Black, who also played a major part in this evening’s Reaper finale. SAVE REAPER! (I’m going to need some alone time, I’m in mourning). I’m a big fan of Michael Ian Black’s writing and stand up, and I’m surprised it’s taken so long for me to finally see this film. I remembered to add it to my Amazon shopping cart and I’m glad I did. Daze stars Jersey boy Jason Biggs, the adorable Borat wife Isla Fisher, Rob Corddry, Hoboken, NJ native Joe Pantoliano (Joey Pants if you’re from Jersey), and Toxic Avenger: The Musical alumni Audra Blaser.

If you haven’t seen it, this is one of those films that flies under the radar but is eons better than any romatic comedy released in the past couple of years. This is one that you AND your girl will enjoy. As an added bonus, some scenes in the movie were were filmed in Atlantic City, NJ.

If you’re still skeptical about seeing it, I’ve got 3 words for ya: The Jewla Hoop!

Answer the Batphone, it’s for you!

I’ve been fortunate to have met many idols of mine throughout my life. One of the most fun and memorable of those times was when I met Adam West at a convention. I’m pretty sure this photo was taken in 1995 and my dad secretly snapped a picture of me. The best part about meeting Adam West was that he is still Bruce Wayne/Batman. As a kid I always related Batman to Adam West so it was that much more exciting to get to meet him.

Adam West is a friendly guy and he loves to converse with his fans unlike many TV and movie stars who feel they are too good for us plebians. When I walked up to Mr. West he started pretending he could hear the batphone ringing and he said it was for me! Adam West aka BATMAN was telling me that Commissioner Gordon was on the Batphone and he wanted to talk to me! ME!?!? What could he possibly want with me? In a moment of utter nirvana, Adam West handed ME the Batphone. What a moment. It’s one of those moments that if Vh1 did a “I Love Jay’s Life” special then they would definitely riff on this moment. I bet Michael Ian Black and Hal Sparks would have a ball with it.

**Remember to click on the Dark Knight countdown button on the right side of the page to win a copy of Batman on Blu-Ray!