Futurama’s Got Jokes!

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Before cable TV shows made it fashionable to live in New Jersey, The Garden State was categorized right beside fart jokes on the humor scale. A New Jersey joke still never fails. 
Why can’t we laugh at ourselves? There’s all this nonsense going around about “defending New Jersey,” and it’s totally lame. Since when are we New Jerseyans the type of people not to find humor in stereotypes? I know I’ve never been one to take it seriously when there’s a joke about us in a movie or a comedian starts ripping on Jersey because it’s all in the name of humor. Plus, a lot of the jokes are based on absolute truth. Have you ever heard someone making fun of how bad it reeks on the New Jersey Turnpike? Well, they aren’t exaggerating because it f*cking stinks to high heaven every time I’m driving on it! Stinks is putting it mildly because it usually gets to the point where I have to pull my t-shirt up over my nose and mouth. In the picture below you can see why.

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Futurama’s depiction of New Jersey
So, yeah – that brings us to Season 1, Episode 8 of Futurama entitled “A Big Piece of Garbage” which originally aired on May 11, 1999. Parts of the episode parody the film Armageddon and as you can probably surmise, instead of an asteroid, earth is in danger of being hit by a humongous piece of garbage. During his demonstration of his new invention The Smelloscope, which allows its user to smell planets, Professor Farnsworth shows a historical video he found on the Internet called The Great Garbage Crisis of 2000 which explained what a dump New York City used to be and how it became that way. Here is the voice over from that video:
“…New York City. The year: 2000. The most wasteful society in the history of the galaxy,
and it was running out of places to bury its neverending output of garbage.
The landfills were full…New Jersey was full…”
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See Sweet Fix Perform!

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Sweet Fix is Tommy Walker, Ivan Anderson, Marco Santini, Wil Sapanaro

Sweet Fix is performing their infectious brand of pop infused rock tonight at Irving Plaza in NYC at 7:30 PM. They will be giving out FREE copies of their latest single “FM RADIO/Make a Move.” Originally formed in Bergen County, NJ, and now based out of NYC, Sweet Fix’s songs have a fun energy that will make you want to jump around and sing along with their memorable choruses. If their upcoming CD is anywhere near as good as their previously released EP “Sparks in the Dark,” then we’re in for a hell of a treat. Merely listening to their songs doesn’t do them justice, you have to experience their ultra sugarbuzzed live performance. But, if you can’t make tonight’s show, make it a point to check them out on iTunes, Amazon, or CDBaby!

www.SweetFixMusic.com
http://www.reverbnation.com/thesweetfix
Twitter.com/sweetfix

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The Dirty Pearls Video Premiere Party – THIS THURSDAY!

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This Thursday the wait is finally over! The Bowery Ballroom in NYC is the place to be on 6/30 when The Dirty Pearls not only perform, but also premiere their brand new video for their new single “Who’s Coming Back to Who.” Also performing live will be the best rock bands New York City has to offer including Star Killer, whose lead singer is NJ-born Jasin Cadic, Panzie, and Sweet Fix. Below you can watch my exclusive interviews with all the bands appearing. See you at the Bowery Ballroom this Thursday! Don’t have tickets? Get them HERE!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-t-XQB_YoM?rel=0]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg101wFZ1C8?rel=0]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KysevVnbaA?rel=0]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzCj3zVDcdI?rel=0]
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Who’s Going To The Dirty Pearls Video Premiere Party?

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After receiving a record amount of entries for any contest ever held here at The Sexy Armpit, one lucky winner will be receiving tickets to see The Dirty Pearls video premiere party at the Bowery Ballroom in NYC! The winning entry was determined by its creative merit, and if it offered that extra oddball flavor that appeals to The Sexy Armpit so much. If you did not win, that doesn’t mean that your entry wasn’t a good one, it just means that the winner went above and beyond to create an extremely insane and dirty entry. The winning entry was coherent and was based on real life events as well.
CONGRATULATIONS TO BRITTANY FROM QUEENS VILLAGE N.Y!
Her entry managed to incorporate Jizzy Pearl, RATT, Faster Pussycat, Six Flags Great Adventure, a couple of lewd sexual situations, and a big stuffed zebra. Although I can’t reprint the whole entry here, it was highly amusing and deserving of the WIN! We’ll see you at the show Brittany! And thanks to all of the participants!
THE DIRTY PEARLS VIDEO PREMIERE PARTY!
JUNE 30th BOWERY BALLROOM, NEW YORK CITY
– The Dirty Pearls Performing Live and premiering 2 brand new music videos!
– Also Stark Killer, Panize, and Sweet Fix in concert
– Hosted by Penthouse Pet Justine Joli
– Other Special Guests
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Baby It’s You on Broadway – Review

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PhotobucketThe Sexy Armpit does get ribbed for going to Broadway shows occasionally. Reactions I’ve gotten after telling people I bought tickets to see Baby It’s You on Broadway ranged from “Oh, you’re going to love it!” to “What? YOU bought tickets to see that??” Baby It’s You is not as boisterous as Rock of Ages, or as sensational as Phantom of the Opera, but after seeing on Sunday, June 12th, I found it to be a lively journey through the course of The Shirelles stardom led by record executive Florence Greenberg.

Even though Greenberg hailed from Passaic New Jersey, she was nothing like the women you see on The Housewives of New Jersey.  She was a typical doting housewife who served her husband like a robot. Eventually Greenberg sought out something more from her life and decided she wanted to work in the music business. In the process of starting her own record label she left her husband and disregarded her children while dealing with her new found passion. Tony Award Winner Beth Leavel’s performance as Greenberg is first rate as we watch her ascend from the doldrums of her wifely duties in the late ’50s to prominence as a record exec.

Originally, the success of Greenberg’s second label, Scepter Records, was largely based on the New Jersey girl group The Shirelles. They were the first girl group to have a number one hit on the Billboard Hot 100, and they were even covered by The Beatles…twice! Not bad for four graduates of Passaic High School. Baby It’s You is unique because it’s telling a story that isn’t widely known, especially to a younger audience. Essentially it’s the more obscure, female version of Jersey Boys. The show unearths the tale of a frustrated Jewish housewife from New Jersey who with a little creativity and chutzpah radically changed her life and made her dreams as well as The Shirelles dreams come true.

Personally, I knew almost all of the songs in the performed in the play, but I had no idea who Florence Greenberg was or that The Shirelles were such an influential group. The pace of the plot is boosted by the sound of several familiar songs that you may not even realize were originally performed by The Shirelles. The whole production is a deserving tribute to a group that predated The Supremes, and whose influences are even seen in more recent acts like Destiny’s Child. No matter your age, chances are, you’ll know at least half of the songs in the play and they’ll all wind up sticking in your head. Here’s just a few that are featured by The Shirelles: “Met Him on a Sunday,” “Dedicated to the One I Love,” “Will You Love Me Tomorrow,” “Soldier Boy,” and of course “Baby It’s You.”

Unfortunately the amount of songs crammed into the play is one of my only real gripes with it. The previous list of songs is only about one quarter of the songs featured. Not only will you hear The Shirelles, but also songs by Leslie Gore (played by former Rock of Ages star Kelli Barrett), Dionne Warwick, The Kingsmen, The Monotones, and Gene Chandler among many others. Over stuffing the production with song and dance numbers actually made it go on a little too long.

If you’re one of those people who are worried about what people will say if you decide to go to a show on Broadway, cut the crap and GO! Whatever music you’re into, it doesn’t matter. The Shirelles were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1996, so if you consider yourself a serious fan of American music, that’s reason enough to see it. Baby It’s You will take you for a fun and nostalgic spin through the rock and roll landscape of the late ’50s and early ’60s.

Official Site
Broadhurst Theater
235 West 44th Street
New York NY 10036

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgRyxuGZvcs?rel=0]
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TICKET GIVEAWAY: Get Dirty with The Dirty Pearls!

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There’s been many famous PEARLS throughout history, but how many of them would you actually want to get DIRTY with? Starting today right here at The Sexy Armpit we have your chance to score two tickets to experience The Dirty Pearls live in concert at their huge “Who’s Coming Back to Who” Video Premiere Party at the Bowery Ballroom on JUNE 30th, also featuring the finest rock bands NYC has to offer Star Killer, Panzie, and Sweet Fix. You’ll not only see all these bands rock out, but you’ll also witness special guests AND the premiere of The Dirty Pearls epic video for their latest single “Who’s Coming Back To Who?”

Below is a list of famous Pearls throughout history. All you need to do is choose who you would like to get down and dirty with and email us a sentence stating why you chose that person. Example: “I’d like to get DIRTY with Jizzy Pearl because I wanted to f*ck him when I was 12″ or if you don’t swing that way then, “I’d like to get Dirty with Pearl S. Buck because her last name rhymes with —-” You catch my drift. The funniest or most creative answer wins! Feel free to come up with your own. HAVE FUN!
SEND YOUR SUBMISSION TO: SEXYARMPIT@COMCAST.NET
SUBJECT LINE: THE DIRTY PEARLS
Here are your options:
1. Minnie Pearl – Country comedienne known for always wearing a hat with a price tag hanging from it and starring in the TV show Hee Haw. Her pickup line to a young “feller” was “How-w-w-DEE-E-E-E.”
2. Jizzy Pearl – Rock Singer best known as the front man of Love/Hate, and formerly of RATT, L.A Guns, and Adler’s Appetite. Pretty sure his nickname says it all.
3. Pearl S. Buck – Pulitzer Prize winning author of the sleep inducing The Good Earth. The First women to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. If “descriptions of peasant life in China” turn you on, then Pearl S. Buck will blow your mind.
4. Earl “The Pearl” Monroe – A true basketball pioneer, Monroe is a Hall of Fame Point Guard who played for the New York Knicks and the Baltimore Bullets. He was great at handling balls if that helps sway your decision in any way.
5. Pearl Gallagher – The 3rd maid on Diff’rent Strokes played by Mary Jo Catlett. Pearl was sort of like a mix of Mrs. Garrett and Julia Child. After the crushing departures of Edna and Adelaide, Pearl sure knew how to fill the void if you know what I mean.
CONTEST WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED 6/20. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BYPASS THIS CRAZY CONTEST THEN PURCHASE TICKETS HERE!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF9MPf6BP90?rel=0]
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The Cars at Roseland Ballroom in NYC

Posted on by sexyarmpit
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLG9P7VTlak?rel=0]
Not even the best salesman could’ve convinced me to buy into “The New Cars.” Do you even remember them? From 2005-2007 Todd Rundgren, Prarie Prince, and Kasim Sulton joined Greg Hawkes and Elliot Easton to form this offshoot band. I’m glad I held out because the original band reformed last year. Except for the late Ben Orr, The Cars are back with a new album, Move Like This, which they have been promoting through a ten city tour of the U.S and Canada. On May 25th, 2011 The Cars revved their engines over to a SOLD OUT Roseland Ballroom in New York City. Are The Cars rusty? You Might Think that, but I found them to be just as pristine as when I first heard them.
After reading reviews of the first few dates of The Cars tour, I was pleased to know that they are a no nonsense band. They didn’t have an opening band, they didn’t wait for 2 hours to go on stage, and they didn’t B.S about politics and who we should vote for in the next presidential election in between songs; all they did was delight the crowd with their new wave brand of rock and roll.
After stating a reunion would never happen, Ric Ocasek was finally back on stage with his band mates where he belongs. Front and center with his signature black hair and big sunglasses, Ocasek looked so comfortable up on stage that I’m pretty sure they could play another 10 – 15 years. I didn’t expect Ocasek to sound exactly like he did back in the day, but he sounded right on point. There were some moments when he backed away from the mic to play his guitar and his vocals trailed off and a couple of times where he seemed a little off key, but aside from that it was like listening to the studio versions. No one was there to hear him do vocal calisthenics anyway. All the electronic bleeps and bloops sounded perfect and the background vocals in the choruses provided that key element that helps make the songs so catchy.
It was really a trip getting to see a band whose songs and videos mesmerized me as a kid. I never saw The Cars live and it was amazing to finally get to experience their show. The setlist was a good mix of old, new, and rare. They played hits like “Good Times Roll” and “You Might Think,” but their new material really brought them alive. They seemed to have a blast with songs like “Blue Tip” and the hard rocking must download “Keep on Knocking.” The revitalized Cars showed that extra jolt when kicking into new tunes like “Sad Song” and “Free.”
A concert on a Wednesday night is tough so The Cars took pity on us and made it an early night for the sold out crowd at Roseland. The audience wasn’t obnoxious and people weren’t pushing and shoving, at least in my area of the floor. The band didn’t make us wait long for their encore either. The three song encore included “Just What I Needed,” “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight,” and my favorite, “Moving In Stereo.” With the vitality of the material on Move Like This, I hope The Cars continue to make new music because judging by their concert in New York City, they haven’t missed a beat.
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Lady GaGa Likes THE BOSS

Posted on by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zz5wxYj7RY?rel=0]
Lady GaGa’s enthralling Monster Ball Tour stopped at the Prudential Center in Newark on April 22nd, 2011 and The Sexy Armpit was there to witness the spectacle. Since I previously saw GaGa in Atlantic City, I wasn’t surprised when I saw her dramatic Monster Ballads type performance of “You and I,” during which she pounded away on the keys of her flaming piano, even occasionally foregoing her fingers to use her stiletto heel. She usually dedicates “You and I” to someone and this night it went out to her grandfather, a New Jersey native. I’m glad that YouTube member music4life324 captured GaGa’s intro to this song because here GaGa elaborates on her other associations with New Jersey. GaGa always makes it well known that she’s from New York, but it’s interesting to see how many New Yorkers have plenty Jersey connections as well.
Even several years after her debut, GaGa is still winning fans over. Recently, HBO premiered their presentation of The Monster Ball Tour taped at Madison Square Garden. Even the queen of glam rock on the Internet, Allyson from Bring Back Glam recently described GaGa’s latest video for “Judas” as “Metal,” and I fully agree. Of course there was a barrage of comments left on her post, many of which took exception to putting the pop icon in this category. Unfortunately, there aren’t many rock or metal bands who are badass enough to be called METAL nowadays! Isn’t it sad when our pop icons have more metal attitude in their petite 5’1 firecracker of a body than most actual metal bands today? I’ll take GaGa’s stiletto heels, pyro, and exposed butt cheeks any day.
It’s also pretty cool to know that GaGa knows who the BOSS is and I’m not talking about Judith Light. Many of the tracks on GaGa’s latest album “Born This Way” (available today) are influenced by Bruce Springsteen. She even had “The Big Man” Clarence Clemons do a guest spot on “Edge of Glory.” The following GaGa quote from an article on Billboard.com is taken from an upcoming MTV documentary, Inside the Outside, airing 5/26:

“Springsteen had such an influence on our home,” she says. “My father gave me, I believe it was for Christmas, a Bruce Springsteen songbook for the piano and on it was ‘Thunder Road,’ which is my favorite Bruce Springsteen song. My dad said, ‘If you learn how to play this song we will take out a loan for a grand piano, a baby grand.’ So I remember it was the hardest thing for me. I was playing these huge (classical) pieces, like 15 pages long, … and then there was this Bruce Springsteen song. I opened up the book and there was like chords, guitar chords. I was so confused. I didn’t understand it, so I just started to read it and eventually, eventually I got it down.” – Lady Gaga Reflects on Springsteen Influence for ‘Inside the Outside’ Doc by Phil Gallo 5/18/2011 Billboard.com

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Jersey Shore Gone Wilde

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhk5Rjz7xk0?rel=0]

Even though you may have seen it already, I couldn’t resist posting this video mash up of Jersey Shore and Broadway’s The Importance of Being Earnest courtesy of The Roundabout Theatre Company. This is the first part of a multi part series created for Playbill by The Importance of Being Earnest stars Santino Fontana and David Furr.

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“Walk This Way” NY Style: The Dirty Pearls and DMC

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FtDIIvMwY4?rel=0]

Occasionally The Sexy Armpit visits New Jersey’s wise ass older brother, New York. I went to check out The Dirty Pearls concert at Webster Hall which was also broadcast live on New York’s Rock station 101.9 WRXP. New York City is not only The Dirty Pearls home, but it’s aura gets them high as they immortalized in their last single “New York City is a Drug.” (They love New York as much as The Sexy Armpit loves Jersey.) That track ended their abbreviated set, but they also ripped through songs from their forthcoming album Whether You Like It or Not including their new single “Who’s Coming Back to Who?” and closed the set with a seismic rendition of The Ramones’ “Do You Remember Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio?”

No question, the highlight of the night came when they invited their much buzzed about “special guest” up on stage to perform with them. Lead singer Tommy London introduced none other than Darryl McDaniels, aka DMC from RUN f’n DMC!!! The crowd went ballistic when they heard the familiar guitar riff from “Walk This Way” as The Dirty Pearls mixed it up and shuffled back and forth on stage with the hip hop legend.

And for those of you who are contending that this post is not related to Jersey in any way – one of RXP’s DJs and hosts of the concert last night was New Jersey native Matt Pinfield, so that counts for something! Oh, and according to the omniscient Wikipedia, DMC currently resides in Wayne, NJ. Maybe The Dirty Pearls could sing “New Jersey is a Drug” for The Sexy Armpit next time they come to Jersey?

www.SexyArmpit.com