Monica Keena is October’s Garden State Playmate!

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I first saw Monica Keena on Dawson’s Creek. Ah crap, I guess that means that I actually watched that show. Yup, I did, but only the first few seasons, I swear! A few years later she also starred in one of my favorite shows ever, Judd Apatow’s Undeclared. Undeclared was another show that suffered from low ratings, but I was a staunch believer and was sad to see it go. Luckily, Keena didn’t disappear with the cancellation of Undeclared. The girl who would soon be known for chopping Freddy Krueger’s head off was born in New Jersey and raised in Brooklyn, NY.
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Keena also has another Jersey connection. She provided the voice of Trishelle in The Sopranos: Road to Respect video game. The game was released for PS2 in 2006. Several people have told me that the game sucked, but I’ve yet to play it. I’ve also yet to play with Keenas boobs but that’s a whole other post. I can see it now “The Sexy Armpit: Road to Monica Keena’s Boobies.”
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For a while, before she apparently had a botched plastic surgery, I thought Keena was stunning in every film or TV show I saw her in. Dammit! I even sat through the abysmal Man of the House because of her! On the other hand, Fifty Pills is still an underrated film. I also can’t forget her hot little stint on Entourage either. Unless she has some sort of miraculous resurgence, or Tarantino tweezes her ass out of Hollywood limbo, it seems like Monica Keena’s most memorable role will always be as Lori Campbell in 2003’s Freddy vs. Jason. Next up, Keena will star in the remake of Night of the Demons along with Shannon Elizabeth, Eddie Furlong, and Diora Baird.

This is one of many Keena quotes printed on her IMDB page:

“I’ve only seen two horror movies in my life, and one of them was Nightmare on Elm Street, when I was about eight years old. And it scared me so much that I couldn’t sleep for two or three months. So I always swore I would never do a horror movie. It was very cathartic to be working with Freddy and to realize he’s not a real person. Robert Englund is a really sweet guy under all the make-up.”
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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 24: The Fiend Club

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On Tuesday October 27th, 2009, The Misfits will premiere their new single “Land of the Dead” exclusively on Sirius-XM radio. In addition to the satellite radio premiere, The Misfits will perform 2 new tracks live at The Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ on mischief night October 30th! Tracks from the new album, Land of the Dead, are available through iTunes, Amazon, Misfits.com, etc. The Land of the Dead T-Shirt is available at the Fiend Store. The albums cover art (and the art on this t-shirt) was drawn by Arthur Suydam (Marvel Zombies).

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The legion of KISS fans are known as THE KISS ARMY, while fans of The Misfits are The Fiend Club. This weeks 2nd offering for NJ T-Shirt Tuesday is the official Fiend Club T-Shirt available at 80stees.com.

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All month long I’ve been playing the Misfits on my iPod in honor of Halloween. The Misfits have never been embarrassed to admit that they are from New Jersey, and that’s awesome.
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TMNT’s Jersey Devil

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Naturally the JERSEY DEVIL would be found
in the back of a DINER, another thing Jersey is famous for!
Nickelodeon’s recent purchase of the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has excited me quite a bit. I’m hoping to see the Turtles return to their fun, pizza eating ways again. The heroes in a half shell provided the best entertainment when they were all about “duuude” and “cowabunga.” I understand that the Turtles were originally conceived to be darker and edgier, but I was introduced to them in cartoon form in 1987. I’ll take Shredder, Krang, and Bebop and Rocksteady any day. F-ck it, give me Venus De Milo too. I’m cheesy, I know.

Even though I’m a sucker for animation and rubber costumes, 2007’s TMNT offered three things that the other Turtles films didn’t. One of my favorite actresses, Sarah Michelle Gellar, as April O’Neil, as well as cameos by Kevin Smith and the Jersey Devil! My only complaint is that Corey Feldman didn’t voice Donatello!
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When Raphael goes out on the town as the Nightwatcher, he winds up in a pier 6 brawl with the Jersey Devil in the back of a diner. The Jersey Devil happens to be one of the 13 monsters unleashed by Max Winters in the film. As they wrestle around the kitchen, Big City Rock’s version of “Black Betty” blares in the background.

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Leave it to a pint sized, excitable creature from New Jersey to start a fight with a mutant turtle that’s 3 times his size. During the scuffle, Raph referred to JD as a “hermit crab,” which is an accurate description of this interpretation of the legendary monster from the Pine Barrens. Although it is likely the tiny creature you see in this film is intended to be the same Jersey Devil who hangs out in the woods of southern New Jersey, there is no official reference to it in the movie.

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Before TMNT was released, I thought it was destined to be one of my future favorites. After seeing it in the theater on opening night, I left wishing it was less serious and more like the ’80s cartoon series. It seemed like a huge win for fans of the original comic book with its grittier action and dose of drama. The film looks visually outstanding but lacks the ‘toonish charm of the ’80s TV series. Back when the cartoon first aired, I was embarrassed to admit that I liked it since I felt that I was not only passed the appropriate age for being a Turtles fan, but also that I was a staunch Bat-fan. Teenaged turtles who knew martial arts, skateboarded, and ate pizza seemed like a lampoon in comparison to a dark, serious, brooding detective. Regardless, I watched the show every day, especially in the mornings when I ate my cereal.
The recent animated TV incarnation of the Turtles left me unfulfilled. Instead, the ’80s cartoon style of the Turtles appealed to me more. Aside from its excellent aspects, the 2007 TMNT film did a fantastic job of capturing a nice mix of the various character styles, but in film form I still prefer the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films.
*Check out Thomas Perkins blog, the man who originally designed the character of the Jersey Devil for the TMNT film!
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Haunted House “Illustration”

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Illustration is in quotes because I don’t think this poorly drawn picture that I made when I was 9 years old deserves that description. Drawing was never one of my strong points, but what this haunted house lacks in technical accuracy it excels in spirit. My passion for horror began at a young age and when October rolled around, there were many assignments in school that involved Halloween and all things spooky. This haunted house was the result of an assignment my teacher gave us: Draw a haunted house and then write a story describing the house using similies.
I ate assigments like this up. I remember that I couldn’t wait to get down to business. I also figured that I had an “A” in the bag since I was one of the few kids in my class obsessed with watching horror movies, not to mention that I was one of the only ones who had parents that allowed me to. (Thanks Mom and Dad!)
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I jam packed every creature that might be associated with a haunted house. This drawing included ghosts, spiders, candles, 8-bit mini Frankensteins, bats, talking pumpkins, Jason and Freddy, and of course…that other thing you have NO IDEA about. The thing standing to the left of Jason is actually supposed to be Chucky from Child’s Play. The other conundrum is standing outside the house perched on top of a coffin. Yes folks, that’s supposed to be a werewolf who, poor thing, has no arms. I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure I left Dracula out because he was still chilling in his coffin. Since the moon is clearly visible on the top left, it’s high time he got his blood sucking ass outta there.

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New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 25: Q The Winged Commuter

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The 1982 thriller, Q the Winged Serpent, is among the best blogger fodder of all time. David Carradine, Richard Roundtree, and Michael Moriarty star in this epic feature about a giant flying lizard who’s just trying to get his eat on around New York City. With a plot like that it’s just too easy to make fun of.

If you can look passed the awful special effects, there is a truly amusing scene in the beginning of the film. An unassuming woman is clearly trying to relax on a lawn chair and catch some rays on the roof of her apartment building. Just like any typical NYC sun worshipper, she is lathering suntan lotion onto her bare breasts when she suddenly gets ripped from her chair and hoisted away into the sky by the frigging buzzkiller Q. It sucks because I was really getting into that scene too. The actress, Bobbi Burns, was emoting big time. I don’t think I’ve witnessed such a dramatic application of suntan lotion on breasts ever. She showed such a beautifully subtle and gentle massage technique. Wonderful.

So, let’s see, the effects are terrible, the plot is pretty lame, and the acting is mediocre at best, so what is Q’s redeeming quality? I’ll tell you:

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As detectives assigned to what is assumed to be a case of ritual killings, Shepard (Carradine) and Powell (Roundtree), treat this monstrous winged creature like an average New York City criminal. It’s when they meet with Captain Fletcher that the buffoonery begins. Fletcher offers his opinion on how Q gets to Manhattan:
“You know it can take us weeks to find where this thing’s holed up. I mean, it could be in the woods, away from the city someplace, it could be over in Jersey someplace. My God, with a wing span like you’re talking about here that thing could fly miles into New York City every day, and it would do that of course you know because New York is famous for good eating.”
Yeah that’s it Fletcher. Q likes to eat at all the gourmet restaurants in midtown. That’s one thing about Q, he always likes to use silverware and napkins.
SERGIO: “Oh well, isn’t this a surprise! Good Afternoon Q! I’m Sergio and I’ll be your waiter today. Do you see anything on the menu that you like?”
Q THE WINGED SERPENT: “Umm, yes as a matter of fact, I’ll take one shirtless human female, basted in suntan lotion.”
SERGIO: “Mmm, that’s one of my personal favorites. I’ll bring her out right away!”
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Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink!

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pac-man power up energy drink
For the last 2 years, my apartment has been haunted.

I’ve tried everything from contracting a couple of local paranormal investigators, to calling in a family friend who is a priest at the church in town to attempt to exorcise the apartment. I am getting desperate now. Everyone I tell about this thinks I’m out of my frigging mind, and I probably am. Ahh, well, I need to get out of this room, out of the apartment, and enjoy the day. There’s no sense in becoming more exasperated. I’ll figure out how to get rid of this thing. **Note to self, I got rid of my Kenner Proton Pack years ago, so don’t think for a second that I’m going to spend hundreds of bucks on eBay to buy a hollow piece of plastic that has no actual ghost catching abilities.** (My future self will thank me for not draining my Paypal account to relive my youth.)

While on an unplanned trip to Jersey Gardens Mall in Elizabeth, NJ, I found this Pac-Man energy drink at the F.Y.E store. I didn’t expect it to taste very good, I had a feeling it would be a generic citrus flavor since Pac-Man is yellow. It turned out that Ben was f-cking WRONG and my insight DID NOT serve me well!

Even though my hopes weren’t high about its flavor, I held off on drinking this sucker until it was properly chilled. After a few hours, I opened my refrigerator door and there were creatures writhing around and they were growling and snarling, and there were flames and I heard a voice say Zuul! OK, so that was Dana Barrett, not me, but there is no Dana Barrett only Zuul.
After exhausting my Ghostbusters quote quota for the day, I actually got around to trying this energy drink. Upon pouring it, I was surprised that the moderately bubbly liquid was a dark pink color and not the Mountain Dewey yellow I’d imagined. My initial sip informed me that the drink was raspberry flavored and only tasted average. It was very sweet, but different enough to set it apart from other typical energy drinks. If you enjoy raspberry or some sort of generic “berry” flavor that the scientists came up with, then you may really dig this.
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Pac-Man energy drink is only worth a buy for the novelty factor. The can offers a cool package featuring a graphic of Pac-Man and two ghosts in front of the video games screen. So if you’re one of those people who still has all of their Pac-Man collectibles, cereal box, and bedsheets, then I suggest you hover your round yellow ass over to an F.Y.E store.
Oh and BTW, the Pac-Man energy drink IS actually good for one thing…I just ate a shitload of ghosts that were hanging around my apartment!
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Loew’s Jersey Theatre: Horror on the BIG Screen!

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Originally opened in 1929, the Loew’s Jersey Theatre located in Journal Square in Jersey City, was a venerable movie palace. Going to the movies in the ’30s and ’40s was not only cheaper (*tickets for their first film and musical performances were $0.35 each), but more of a grand experience than going to your local modern multiplex. After showing its final film, Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, the Loew’s Jersey was officially closed in 1986. Eventually, the theatre was sold to Jersey City and through volunteering and donations the ornate theatre was finally restored.

When the theatre reopened in 2002, I went with my father to see a showing of 1931’s Frankenstein. My dad used to go to see movies there as a kid and it was awesome to see that the landmark was saved and didn’t get demolished to make way for condominiums. If you’re in the NY/NJ area, you NEED to experience the Loew’s Jersey. When you’re watching a classic film there, it makes you feel like you’re traveling back in time.
Take my word for it and make a trip to see this majestic movie house for yourself. The Loew’s Jersey Theatre holds various seasonal and holiday themed movie marathons and events. This year for Halloween, they’ll feature 3 horror classics: Carrie, The Wolf Man, and Rosemary’s Baby. The best part is, the tickets are only $6!

For more info visit The Landmark Loew’s Jersey here: http://loewsjersey.org

*info grabbed from Wikipedia’s article here

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Wonder Woman Day IV: 10/25/09 in Flemington, NJ

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Sunday October 25th, 2009
12:00 PM – 5:00 PM
FREE!
Special guest artist signings:
Joe Sinnott, Chris Muller, Ken Haeser, Rob Kramer, Buz Hasson

42 Main Street
Flemington, NJ
908-788-0599

Wonder Woman fans should also check out these sites:
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American Dragon: Jake Long – “The Lost Weekend”

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American Dragon: Jake Long features one of the coolest animated appearances of The Jersey Devil. Season 1 Episode 12 “The Lost Weekend,”aired in 2005. Unfortunately, The Disney Channel cancelled American Dragon: Jake Long in 2007, but the episodes are available on iTunes. The animated Jersey Devil looked less threatening than usual, but still as ominous as it can get for a cartoon geared toward young kids.

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Jake is a teenage skater kid from New York City who has the ability to turn into a dragon to fight evil creatures. I’ve seen the show before on Toon Disney, but never watched a complete episode until now. I was surprised by how much fun ‘The Lost Weekend” was. It brought me back to the days of watching cartoons on Saturday mornings as a kid. Much of the dialogue was cheesy, but I can’t expect Tarantino here.

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Jakes dad Jonathan was a leader of the Cougar Cubs, and he wants to relive some of those times by bringing Jake and his 2 friends camping in the woods of New Jersey. Punning it up with word play like tents and tense, Jonathan was the classic goofy dad who has no idea that he’s in a family of dragons.

There are some moments where the show is clever and other times its totally cliche. For instance, in a joke that was probably lost on the youthful demographic, Jake tells his dad that he doesn’t want to take part in singing during the car trip because “public domain songs make me nauseous.” Jake fears he’d embarrass his friends if he did, but they joined in and belted out the songs with Jakes dad. Jake’s friend Spud is basically the Jeff Spicoli of the crew. In a most stonerrific scene, we see Spud trying his best to muster up the will power to deny himself another S’more, but he gives up and shoves it down the hatch anyway.

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“…cannot…resist…marshmallow…”
Their other friend, Trixie, is completely annoying. Her whiny voice grated on me the entire show, especially when she attempted rapping. It didn’t help that she uttered stereotypical lines like “home girls don’t hold it” after finding out there is no bathroom in the woods.
A bunch of fairies summon Jake in hopes he can help defend their village. Once every hundred years “a great evil” appears from the woods and terrorizes their land for 7 straight nights. That great evil they referred to was The Jersey Devil! The stars also tell them that a great hero will show up to defeat the great evil.

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The face off between The Jersey Devil vs. Jake Long ruins Jakes fathers camping trip that he was so excited about. Jake and the fairies fortify the village with traps Kevin McCallister style, while Trixie and Spud actually get the true camping experience with Jakes dad. Even after hearing Trixie deliver antiquated phrases like “this breakfast is OFF THE CHAIN,” I still enjoyed it. I’ll go so far as to say that I was even moderately entertained by the ridiculous subplot involving Jakes mom and sister mistakenly going to a weight loss camp rather than a spa. There are worse ways to spend time with the Jersey Devil, and we’ll be taking a look at them in future posts!
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