NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 22: The Home of Happiness

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If you want something visual, that’s not too abysmal,
we could take in another NJ T-Shirt Tuesday!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is performed in unison with the film for audiences all over the world, and New Jersey is no exception. Sure, we have the highest car insurance rates and the most toxic waste in the country, but bet your ass that we’ve also got our very own company of actors who passionately personify the characters from the most legendary midnight movie. Based out of northern New Jersey, the troupe has been strutting through theaters performing Rocky Horror since 1998! If you’re in the area and you’re looking to do something different in honor of Halloween this month, this is definitely it.

I’d have to say that if I were to play any role in the film, it would have to be Riff Raff. Don’t think for a second that it’s because I’m opposed to dressing up like Dr. Frank-N-Furter either, but Riff Raff is so much cooler. Did anyone get to see Sebastian Bach play the role of Riff Raff when RHPS was on Broadway? He tore it up!
Their next show is October 17th at the Bellevue Theatre in Montclair, NJ. For more info check out:

Nocturna Mission #5: Casting Call

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To me, Edwige Fenech IS Nocturna, but in this installment of Jay’s Nocturna Mission, I’ll be choosing the best present day actresses for the role of the ghastly Batman villain. In case the big wigs at DC Entertainment are reading, then I’ll surely provide them with enough choices for a perfect Nocturna in a future installment of the Batman saga.
In choosing the best Nocturna, jotting down any actress with dark hair simply won’t cut it. For instance, appearance wise, Alina Vacariu would make a fantastic Talia, but casting Nocturna is far trickier. Having the right look is of supreme importance, because we wouldn’t even have a list if I based all my choices on acting talent. F-ck the Hollywood Foreign Press!!!
Since we’re deep into the Halloween Countdown, and there were a few ladies I just couldn’t bear to leave off, I narrowed my list down to 13. As you’re reading, keep in mind that these ladies will be made up to look super pale with blueish/black hair.
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Please feel free to leave a comment with your favorite from the list. Are there any actresses who you think were left off this list? Thank you for reading!

Michael Jackson at Costume Shop in Wyckoff, NJ

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click this picture for the video report from CNN & News 12 NJ

On Halloween ’07, various news outlets reported that Michael Jackson was seen shopping in a costume shop at Boulder Run Shopping Center in affluent Wyckoff, NJ. It was later discovered that Jackson had been living with friends of his, the Cascio family, in Franklin Lakes, NJ, for nearly 3 months. According to the NY Daily News, “…the most recognizable star in showbiz kept a low profile in the Jersey suburbs.”

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The Misfits Captcha’d

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The Misfits mean different things to different people. Classic film buffs know that it stars Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable, fans of animated chick rock bands know them as the dirty whorish rival band of JEM & The Holograms, but they had no devilock, and no dong either. To fans of horror punk, The Misfits are the KINGS. Although, as it stands, The Misfits never seem to get the credit they deserve. Perhaps they’ll be recognized 10 years down the road, in a similar way that KISS has just been nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Until that point, it’s the little things that indicate the greatness of The Misfits. The ghoulish band from NJ may not appear on on condoms or caskets, but bet your ass the Misfits have their own CAPTCHA!!!

Forget waiting 20 years, The Captchas were immediately inducted the hall of fame of annoying. Unfortunately, most of us have had a run in with THE CAPTCHAS at one time or another. It’s usually never a pleasant experience. After graduating college with honors, I thought I was moderately intelligent until I had to figure out what the hell these dumb little words said. Some programmer came up with these outlandish combinations and they rarely make sense. You can try to decode them, but most times you just get gibberish. Occasionally, the words are so hard to make out that I had a party when I realized there was a “try another” feature. Why even have a “try another” feature? You should be able to figure out what the words say in the first place. These code words are supposed to beef up security for a transaction but they actually waste our time and make me cross eyed.

The secret words are intended to make cracking security more difficult. It merely results in pissing off the end user who’s just trying to by some f’n Steel Panther tickets. Wasting precious seconds when trying to procure tickets to a venue that only holds 350 people is not a feature any ticket retailer should offer. I remember physically waiting on line for tickets and I never once had to whisper a secret password to the bouncer before he let us through the rope to the ticket window? I especially don’t recall being able to tap the bouncer on the shoulder so he could feed me the secret password in case I forgot it. That would have defeated the purpose of the password to begin with.

Formed in Lodi, NJ, The Misfits will be returning to perform a special miscief night concert in New Jersey at the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville NJ. You can also catch Danzig and Gorgeous Frankenstein there in December.
The Misfits – 10/30/09
Danzig and Gorgeous Frankenstein – 12/26/09
Starland Ballroom
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KISS: Sonic Boom & Aquarian Cover

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KISS is fresh off performing on David Letterman and they’re gearing up for tonight’s Jimmy Kimmel show. I figured it’s a perfect time to throw my 2 cents in about KISS’ new album SONIC BOOM. Aside from “Modern Day Delilah,” the two strongest tracks on the album are Tommy Thayer’s “When Lightning Strikes” and the anthem “Say Yeah.” There’s no denying that the mass of the album was created in the image of classic KISS songs, but these 3 tracks are definitive KISS. If you are unsure whether to buy the new SONIC BOOM or not, I say it’s an absolute YES. I have not been paid in any way to write that, nor have I received the album to review.

In addition to the aforementioned tracks, the album ranks much higher than their last studio album, 1998’s Psycho Circus. After one or two listens you’ll be singing along to the tracks and headbanging to the big drums and loud guitars. The band also made buying this album a no brainer because you’ll get a concert DVD plus the re-recorded greatest hits which was released in Japan a couple of years ago. Forget about buying the import version because it can fetch up to $80 bucks on various online stores and eBay.

If you don’t have in your monstrous hands yet, then head out to Wal-Mart tonight and pick it up. KISS is one of those bands who literally do what their fans want because they know they are the ones to keep the money rolling in. That’s smart and more bands and artists should do that. Look at Bon Jovi, they haven’t made an album tailored to their fans taste since 2000. On the contrary, our wish is KISS’ command.
Pictured above is the cover of the latest issue of The Aquarian. Pick up a copy or read Tim Louie’s awesome interview with The Demon, Gene Simmons, at this link:
http://www.kissonline.com/stream/article/display/id/19240

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 21: New Jersey Zombie Walk

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Here’s the official T-Shirt of the NJ Zombie Walk that took over the streets of Asbury Park last weekend. The illustration on the front of the tee depicts a zombie ripping through the outline of New Jersey with green slime splattered in the background. If you missed out this year, make sure you get there next year! Within the next few days, the official site will feature pics of the event: www.njzombiewalk.com

The House Where Charlie Lived by Clint Miller Jr.

I’m the slowest reader of all time. My “to read” list is backed up with books, blogs, magazines, and of course, comic books. There’s no way I’d ever make it through a Stephen King novel. Fortunately, Clint Miller Jrs., The House Where Charlie Lived, is a quite manageable 222 pages.

This month for the Halloween Countdown, I’ll be recommending and reviewing books that involve horror, ghosts, or the Jersey Devil and are also inspired by New Jersey or written by an author from The Garden State. It doesn’t sound like there would be many books that fall into the previously described category, but many of them do actually exist. The first one that I DUG UP, (ahh I’m a sucker for lame Halloween jokes – call me the male version of Elvira) is by NJ native Clint Miller Jr. Inspired by true events, The House Where Charlie Lived is available now and seems like it will be a great read for me during this Halloween season.
I had the chance to meet Clint Miller Jr. at a book signing at my new favorite store that is not Amazon: Paranormal Books and Curiosities in Asbury Park, NJ. Miller was ego free and seemed like a regular dude, not some snobby writer. That’s the way it is here in New Jersey. Our new state slogan: “Snobby writer free in Jerzee.” Miller was breezy as he discussed the book with me, as well as his Jersey roots.

The eerie cover of Miller’s book intrigued me as the gravitational pull magnetized me to it. Just a glance at the cover art will send chills down your spine. Visit the book’s official website and read the teaser, I guarantee you’ll ask when the movie version is coming out.

In 1963, a quiet seashore community becomes the focus of an intense police dragnet when Thomas Lepp gunned down three New Jersey state troopers. Artis Weyland, inspector with the High Crimes Division, leads the manhunt for Thomas Lepp, a psychopathic man suspected of brutally killing his wife, Emma, and her son Charlie.

The police have a hard time identifying Emma – her body has been chopped to pieces. They never find her head. Her young son, Charlie, is never found at all.

Nearly 40 years later, Allen and Jennifer Cherones, along with their son, Carl, have purchased a two-story house through their good friend and realtor, Ronald Avery. To help fix it up, Allen turns to his brother, Doug, and together the three set out to turn it into a dream home.

What seems like a deal to good to be true turns into a real nightmare for the family. They seek the help of their new neighbors, Dorothy and Roger Faustine, who help them unravel the home’s bloody past.

When the ghostly threat becomes all too deadly, the family realizes the former residents of this house have never left and are now looking to reclaim it. Now the Cherones’ young boy, Carl, is placed in imminent danger as Thomas Lepp returns to finish his dark deed.
Looks like I have another one to add to my list…

The Jersey Devil Goes Down to Argila

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As far as I know, The Jersey Devil hasn’t left the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, but it’s esteem as a cryptid has made references to the mythical creature just as widespread as Bigfoot and The Loch Ness Monster. This month, The Sexy Armpit will take a look at several occasions when The Jersey Devil escaped the Pine Barrens and penetrated pop culture.

Released in 2008 for the Nintendo DS, Castlevania Order of Ecclesia, features a cameo appearance by none other than JD himself. You get to play as the character Shanoa who’s a hot little pixelated number in her own right.

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York’s Batty Peppermint Patties!

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I’ve always been a major proponent of anything in a “pattie” formation. Whether it’s a buger, a breakfast sausage, or a delicious and refreshing mint chocolate treat. York Peppermint Patties really give me the cool sensation of skiing in the Swiss Alps…or being a vampire and turning into a bat. York Peppermint Patties are like crack for me because I could just keep eating them until my shit smells like mint. That doesn’t happen, but a man can dream. Until that dream comes to fruition, I really enjoyed eating these new York Peppermint Patties that are now in Batty Pattie shape for the Halloween season!
Your Trick or Treat pail or bag will not be disappointed if these Halloween York Batty Patties drop in. Unlike the foil wrapped individual patties, these are tailor made for Halloween because the wrapper is not as easy to tamper with. That menacing bat is not too shabby either! And parents will be pleased they are low in fat and made with dark chocolate. That still doesn’t give me an excuse to eat 8 of them after lunch. There’s never an excuse for that. That’s just wrong. Again, hoping for a farty mint miracle. Silly me.
For some reason any type of mint candy was never popular with my group of friends. Their taste always veered toward the more whacky, in your face type of candy. The more sour, sugary, and atomic the better it seemed. Not me. Give me mint any day and if its soft, irresistible, and in batty pattie form, well I just hit the jackpot!