9) Misa Campo
It’s nearly impossible to keep track of the sizzling love affair between Batman and the Mistress of the Night, Nocturna. Seriously people! In our last post they were just fighting over a Robin costume at a Halloween store! And now these two crazy kids are passionately sucking face on the cover of Detective Comics #556 from way back in November of 1985!
All I know is, if DC Comics ever released one of those Fabio type romance novels, then the cover would be exactly the same as the one on this issue! The cover art is truly fantastic with a very detailed version of the quintiessential ’80s Batman sticking his tongue down this goth bitch Nocturna’s throat. Makes me want to do it too. Good for him. Every guy has a fetish. At the time Batman was into thieving, underhanded goth chicks.
Whoa, wait a minute…was this Detective Comics or an episode of Passions? How does Batman even put up with her absurd rhetoric? Nocturna’s clearly only good for one thing: making out!
Tonight, The Sexy Armpit will take a look at Detective Comics #543 which features “The Battle of the Century! Nocturna vs. Batman…and the prize is ROBIN!” The cover of this issue is colorful and awesome. Nocturna’s ghostly skin and blueish/black hair really stands out. The Batman logo underneath the Detective Comics header has always been my favorite. To be real for a second, it looks like Batman and Nocturna are about to go at it for the LAST Robin costume at a local Gotham Halloween store before closing time on October 30th! Maybe there’s a kids in their extended families who really wanted to dress up as Robin this year?
NOCTURNA: “That’s my Robin costume Batman! Get your gloves off!”
BATMAN: “Nocturna, you’re unwillingness to let this Robin costume go will only get you further
into trouble. Stealing is a crime! You’ll spend the rest of your life in the Gotham State Penitentiary!
NOCTURNA: Your cowl has apparently stopped the oxygen flow to your brain because ain’t NO WAY IN HELL you’re getting this vintage Jason Todd era Robin costume. I’m calling Halloween store security.
BATMAN: Don’t bother, you won’t know which one is the real security guard or the store employee modeling their security guard costume, which is new this year. I’ve taken the liberty of ensuring that both of them were walking around at precisely this moment because I knew you and I might’ve had a run in. I’ve also taken the precaution of ingesting a special super strong bat-antidote pill just for the heck of it.
NOCTURNA: Do you know why we don’t have sex anymore? Cause you’re truly a bore, do you know that? Now give me this damn costume!
BATMAN: Possession is 9/10ths of the law Nocturna! Don’t make me call Chief O’Hara!
NOCTURNA: I will have anything I want, even if I have to steal it!
…the real store security comes running over to the scuffle…
SECURITY: Unhand that costume Nocturna! It belongs to Batman! You’re under arrest
for stealing store merchandise!
BATMAN: You see Nocturna, I obviously didn’t need another Robin costume, especially since I have about 75 extra ones in the Batcave that Alfred made up. This is just a little thing I like to call entrapment.
NOCTURNA: YOU SCOUNDREL!
BATMAN: Now maybe if you would’ve opened up those long cadaverous legs of yours for some bat-action once in a while then this wouldn’t have happened, you bloodless bitch!
There’s not enough Nocturna on the Internet! I’ve expressed my passion for Nocturna and my desire to see her appear in the next Batman film on this site before, even though my efforts will no doubt be futile.
Now that Autumn is here, the sun has started to go down earlier each day. What better way to greet the night than with the sensual and gothic Batman villain and sexpot, Nocturna, Mistress of the Night? While she’s not the comedic sort like Elvira, they definitely evoke similar qualities in appearance. I’d imagine Nocturna is lighter on her feet than Elvira because she doesn’t have big hair. They’re both ultra pale. Elvira just likes to cake on the makeup, but Nocturna has a legitimate lack of skin pigment. I can’t really say if Nocturna ever wears nipple tassels that she spins around when flailing her boobs during dance numbers, but she does carry herself with quite a Dark Shadows type flair.
Noctura’s sexier than Poison Ivy, especially if you don’t like when Pam makes vines grow up your legs and then tries to hold you captive in her room full of killer cactus and Venus flytraps. (Not that she’s tried that kind of kinky thing on me or anything…) Now, goth chicks on the other hand are a lot of fun and unlike Poison Ivy, they don’t need to shoot you with darts full of love serum to turn you on. All it takes is some pale cleavage and jet black hair, and they’ve got you hooked…much like Bruce Wayne was when in the presence of Nocturna!
Today The Sexy Armpit will take a look at the covers and some panels from Detective Comics #530 and Batman #363. Please, all of you creatures of the night, join me in my Nocturna Mission! We’ll have more Nocturna to follow within the Halloween Countdown!