NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 46: Scarlet Carson

rock band,scarlet carson,new jersey,t-shirt

It’s been 2 years since NJ rockers Scarlet Carson made their debut and they’ve been gaining huge momentum ever since. This month they have quite a schedule lined up for themselves. On April 17th, they’ll be playing the legendary Stone Pony for The Break Contest for the chance to play at this year’s Bamboozle Festival, and the day after on April 18th, they’ll be opening up for Papa Roach at Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ. As if that weren’t huge enough, they also have the opening slot for Saliva in New York City’s Highline Ballroom on 4/27.

scarlet carson,new jersey,rock band,t-shirt

Instead of letting Los Angeles get all the glory, Scarlet Carson label their style of rock “Dirty Jersey Rock n Roll.” Their latest album Burn It All is available now, so go check out a few tracks at their Myspace page! Reviews of both of Scarlet Carson’s albums are forthcoming here at The Sexy Armpit, so stay tuned! Go to www.scarletcarson.ning.com for more.

Chicago’s the Last Vegas Steals the Show in Atlantic City!

Chad Cherry of The Last Vegas
Chad Cherry, lead singer of the Last Vegas

On Friday Night March 6th, at the Borgata in Atlantic City NJ, the Last Vegas from Chicago easily upstaged Theory of a Deadman and Hinder. I could’ve left after the Last Vegas, that’s how good their performance was. I felt so revved up and satisfied; it was exactly how one should feel after seeing a kickass rock band live. The headliners, Motley Crue, were still to come! Waiting through the next two bands wasn’t easy. 

Tyler Connolly from Theory of a Deadman
Tyler Connolly, lead singer from Theory of a Deadman

With only a few above average songs, Theory of a Deadman was passable. They seem to play by the book with no shenanigans. I always considered them a much cooler version of Nickleback. No offense to the legions of Nickleback fans, but perhaps you should make the switch? You went from Starbucks to Dunkin’ Donuts, Myspace to Facebook, so how about Nickleback to Theory of a Deadman?

The climate in rock music for the past few years seems to be fueled by ’80s rock, which makes sense. Considering the rock music that was immensely popular when these newer bands moving up the ranks were growing up, they most likely were listening to stuff like Warrant and Slaughter. **Rob Mason has hopefully saved Warrant from Jani Lane’s tarnished rep. I don’t care what you say, “Down Boys” is phenomenal.
When Austin Winkler asked the audience to yell “Up All Night” I was certain that a cover of Slaughter’s “Up All Night” was to follow. I’m sure there’s 50 other songs in existence with the same title, but when I hear it, I think of Slaughter’s. Unfortunately, Hinder’s song “Up All Night,” is completely unrelated to Slaughter’s and not a quarter as good. 
Hinder’s heart is in the right place, but their attempt at capturing the party rock type atmosphere of the ’80s era ultimately fails, for me at least. For fraternities around the country, Hinder’s a huge WIN. To say that I don’t like their music wouldn’t be totally accurate, since they did perform one or two songs that I thoroughly enjoyed. But judging by their lax performance, they seem to show signs that they’ve already been bestowed a “best band award.” These guys scored a hit, had Emanuele Chriqui in their video, and now they’ve feel like they’ve “made it?” Give me a break! You’re still FNG’s as far as I’m concerned. Take some pointers from the Last Vegas and Buckcherry. If I ever have kids, will they reach their 30s and be going to see opening acts who were inspired by bands like Fall Out Boy and Tokio Hotel? Oh that’s so sad. 
And now for an exlusive peek into the contents of my personal letter to Austin Winkler, lead singer of Hinder:

Austin Winkler of Hinder
Dear Mr. Winkler,
You’re clearly seeing the effects of the rock and roll lifestyle. Singing all those mindless songs about drinking, and getting stoned (i.e “Get Stoned”) will take it’s toll. Life imitates art as they say. Unless you’re in the gym constantly “working on your fitness,” then you’re going to get a nice big beer gut. Oh what do you know, you already have one! oops. I couldn’t stop thinking that if Peter Delouise played a washed up, drunken rock star, who sported a bob haircut in a real life biopic on the Lifetime channel, it might be about you. Put the beer down, step away from the Nascar race on your 70 inch LCD, and get your ass to the gym.
You need to work hard to connect with the audience. Humble yourself. Remember, you are opening for MOTLEY CRUE. You are eons away from ever being as big as the legendary Motley Crue. Be mindful that many of the people in the audience have no idea who you are. Plenty of fans of ’80s rock swore off listening to new music when grunge rolled around. It’s your job to win them back! Stop writing generic, ’80s style music. Show us why you’re not just a bunch of guys who “thought it would be cool to be in a band.”
Lucky for us, there’s bands out there like the Last Vegas who really “get it.” They grabbed my attention forcefully and didn’t let go their entire set. The Last Vegas was rocking our buts off way before they won the Guitar Center On Stage contest. After seeing them live it’s obvious why they’ve captured the opening spot on Crue Fest this year. The band plays energized, dirty, old school rock and roll. They’ve got some ACDC thump, and a little GNR swagger. 

Adam Arling of the Last Vegas
Guitarist Adam Arling of the Last Vegas
Frontman Chad Cherry is the real deal. He exudes rock and roll and never for a moment looks like a wannabe as he struts and jumps all over the stage. Cherry’s strong voice is the center of attention. There were moments when his voice recalled Tom Kiefer’s of Cinderella. 
check them out at TheLastVegas.com

Nikki Sixx
Bassist Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue

Motley seemed to be having sound problems during their performance. Nikki and Vince kept looking over to the sound guys and giving the “UP” signs. It was basically the same set as their show at PNC Bank Arts Center in the summer. You can watch 2 videos I shot from that show on The Sexy Armpit Youtube page. Motley added “Jailhouse Rock” and “White Trash Circus” into their set. 

Conspicuous by it’s absence was Tommy’s Titty Cam. Instead, he handed out his bottle of Jaeger, and told everyone to take a sip and pass it back. Nice of you to share Tommy, but who the hell wants to drink out of a bottle that 10 people have already taken swigs from? That’s nasty. I don’t even drink the wine in church! The bottle got confiscated by security anyway, probably so the guard could bring the bottle home and sell it on ebay…douchebag. At that point Tommy went into how thankful he was for some stuff, and how we should all be thankful and blah blah, and then stepped back over to his kit. Where did Motley go? 
There’s always a bunch of young kids in the audience at recent Crue shows. Damn Guitar Hero and Rock Band for making raunchy rock and roll a family affair. Did the people at the Borgata warn the band ahead of time that they couldn’t do the Titty cam? Most likely, but that was the least of my worries. I was more amused by Vince Neil who thinks that Crue song lyrics are interchangeable and should be sang anywhere from 1-5 seconds later than they are supposed to be. Ahh, it was still Crue, and it still rocked, so the rest doesn’t really matter now does it?

Nikki Sixx Loves Barack Obama
Nikki Sixx was “Baracking out”
One band, Endeverafter, would’ve been perfect for this show. They’re definitely one of my favorite rock bands so check them out if you’ve never heard of them! Endeverafter.com

The Sexy Armpit Has Joined The WWE Fan Nation!

Sunday was the 20th edition of WWE’s Summerslam Pay Per View. I can’t believe that the first ever Summerslam event is already 20 years old! Damn, I may as well check myself into an old age home! Summerslam ’88 was an awesome event packed with classic WWE moments. Most notably, when Miss Elizabeth ripped away her skirt to leave Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, and everyone else in the arena stunned. This made way for the Mega Powers to score the victory at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The Mega Powers, the greatest force known to man, paired “The Madness with The Mania.” When Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage were together on-screen sparks always flew. They always put on great matches together and cut even better promos. ‘Til this day, no WWE superstar has come close to exuding the outrageous amount of charisma that these two superstars did.

20 years later, after watching Summerslam ’08, I can’t say that the WWE talent quality is at the exact same level but the WWE is still putting on top notch entertainment. The enthralling and dramatic montages WWE creates grab you right off of your couch and suck you right into the story lines. Today’s WWE climate is different, it’s less of a traveling carnival and more of an actual late night soap for guys AND girls, but mostly for kids. The themes WWE hits on are bold, topical, and often times…actually groundbreaking. For example, Chris Jericho is really gonna get his ass beat after accidentally popping Shawn Michaels’ pretty wife right in the mouth. But Shawn didn’t retaliate!?!?!? Now we’re dealing with psyche and morals, not just piledrivers and atomic drops. You might go through your days thinking “Damn, I forgot to pay the electric bill!” while I go through my day thinking “I can’t wait to see Shawn lose his shit and go ballistic on Jericho!” I’m pretty sure that means they’re doing a great job.

You won’t hear many TV critics or pop culture gurus giving any props to Vince McMahon and the WWE. It’ll probably continue like that until Vince McMahon kicks the bucket, and I mean for real this time! Not like the time he got into his limo and it exploded. They struck that from the record, so you should too! Just go with it, don’t ask too many questions. Let yourself be entertained. Stop being so pretentious. We’re all very similar in our makeup and WWE puts on a show that everyone can enjoy. Well, maybe not through the entire RAW broadcast, but at least when Santino Marella is out there. And Cody Rhodes! And if you can’t enjoy the hot looking WWE Divas, you’re out of your mind.

WWE has had some exciting developments. Recently they welcomed actor Freddie Prinze Jr. to their writing staff and they also unveiled their new social networking site called THE WWE FAN NATION. For a few months I’ve been hearing about this site during RAW and SMACKDOWN. Like all new Internet gimmicks my first instinct was to ignore it, but like the thought of Miss Elizabeth tearing away her skirt for my 8 year old eyes to see, it enticed me. If you’re a WWE fan, F–K Twitter, why not join the WWE Fan Nation? It’s basically WWE’s answer to MySpace. Click here to check out The Sexy Armpit’s slice of it.

Don’t feel like joining the Fan Nation? Well then, here’s a choose your own Sexy Armpit Adventure:

My “coverage” of last year’s Summerslam blogging from my cell phone live from the Continental Airlines Arena (now the Izod Center) in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

Here’s the Main Event from Summerslam ’88 which I found on You Tube. For all of you impatient, horny Miss Elizabeth fans out there, fast forward to 6:42!

The State of the Armpit

Promises, Promises. I’m usually the kind of guy who won’t make a promise unless I can keep it. In this case it’s about the website “TheSexyArmpit.com”. I kept saying I would update and throw up some new podcasts. Alot of you are probably wondering what the hell happened to all of that. Well – here it is: I don’t have the time. I know it sounds lame but I really don’t. It’s unfortunate but the “real world” has kinda snuck up on me. I’m still the whacked out guy I’ve always been, but now I just have lots of bills to pay. So unless I get my next 400 paychecks by tomorrow afternoon the website form of “TheSexyArmpit.com” will cease to exist.

I know you’re all bummed. But think about it, what’s more friggin’ hip than a blog? lol. I don’t know about you but I’m so sick of MySpace so this is the way I’ll be doing it from now on. At least until some huge company comes to me and says we want to sponsor your site and make it the most visited sight on the internet. Well that ain’t happening any time soon so I decided to go with a blog. It’s nice and easy and it’ll concentrate on any warped thoughts that I have that desperately need to escape from my brain.

As for the podcast – I’d still like to do it and I haven’t counted it out. But it seems that I won’t have a way to present it without a website unless I use ITunes. SO that’s not impossible.

Another thing stacked against the site was the fact that we (Steve and Myself) couldn’t get any loyal staff members to be part of the team. It was like we were the black plague. I see plenty of sites that have staff of 11 or 12 people who take on different jobs such as reviewer/advertiser. We couldn’t get ANYONE let alone someone who could take on a specific job. Even Steve crapped out. I guess life just gets in the way. But I’m still committed to having something up on the internet. So that’s where I’m at now. The lone blogger. Fuck off…I carry silver bullets.



Here’s some of that pre-blog…the stuff that the clinic warns you about so you better rubber up now…
First- is Myspace a province of Cyberspace? Or are they totally different territories? Is it fair to say that if The Sexy Armpit invaded Myspace that they invaded your space, and his space, and even her space? Or did we just invade our own space? What about that crawl space? I think we missed that one. Now there’s a fucking mind boggler. Does the information superhighway run through Myspace and Cyberspace? I hope it’s nothing like 287.
If you watched Dancing with the Stars last night: Who does the mambo to a weak rendition of a Kriss Kross song?? That was beyond awful. And it’s obvious Shanna is banging her dancer partner and that is why Travis left her. He found condoms from her bang-tango session with her friggin dance partner. Good for Travis…he’s a killer drummer and now he was caught making out with Paris Hilton. Good for him. At least we know what happened when they went back to the hotel room. They practiced calculus equations just cause she felt like brushing up….
The good people here at The Sexy Armpit.com have uncovered a mystery of sorts. Do you know how much of the population is not familiar with Silent Ball? Fucking SILENT BALL!! We’re not talking about the friggin’ Necronomicon or Sal’s pet Cthulu here…we’re friggin talking about SILENT BALL. After an extensive poll of a cross section of male and female participants whose ages ranged from 20 – 27, we have deduced that a large percentage of people, some legal citizens, some not….have not had the pleasure of playing in a game of SILENT BALL nor are they acquainted with the joys of what this stellar game is all about. C’MON PEOPLE!
After this extensive poll we were told that SILENT BALL was only for losers from Central Jersey. To them I say F-OFF! These are probably the same people who didn’t take part in hacky sack or quarter basketball/hockey during lunch. What about making a football out of folded paper and doing the old field goal kicking practice? Not down with that either? Bumper pool? What did you people do? 7up? Red Rover?
And now, the grand finale: PUNCH BALL KICK BALL. IF you never played that you are out of your f’n minds and I don’t want to talk to any of you anymore. Excuse me ….I’m going to listen to Cinderella…