Everyone I know seems to be candy crazy. I was never obsessed with sweets and I rarely go on sugar frenzies. Although I must say I do enjoy Reese’s cups, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, and peppermint patties every now and then. I definitely opt for a chocolate bar over a sugary candy like sweet tarts or airheads. I also have a disdain for anything too chewy or with a “gummy” prefix although the gummy raspberries and blackberries with the crunchies on the outside are highly enjoyable.
Throughout my life, Pez weren’t the most accessible candy out there. I couldn’t go to the nearest convenience store and pick up Pez. In my area of N.J they were readily available at toy stores and rarely anywhere else unless it was a holiday. Christmas and Valentine’s day brings Pez out to many stores in full force.
Pez were always a candy that I discovered every few months as a kid. I remember that I would keep my pez dispensers in a mini drawer in my closet. Whenever I broke out all my toys I’d open up my mini drawer and get my Pez paraphenalia ready to rock. In there I had stockpiled unwrapped pez candy that were waiting to be loaded into one of my many dispensers.
You can imagine how odd Pez tasted after a year or two even if they were still wrapped in their original package. I don’t think I realized that they probably went bad after a while. Regardless, I’d load the Pez candy into the Hulk head or the Snoopy head and then start popping them into my mouth like mad. I then realized how stale they were. They were fairly hard, I’m lying…they were break your teeth hard. They were also a bit hollow for some reason. But they still tasted like classic Pez pellets and aside from their stale state, they still had their unmistakable classic Pez flavor. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the actual candy but I still have many of my original dispensers.
Here are the Batman dispensers I’ve gathered throughout the years. They go in order of when I got them. The oldest on the left I got when I was about 8 years old! You can see the changes to the mold and the color modifications. The blue color changes slightly from the 1st dispenser to the 2nd and it’s not just old age, they actually have slightly different blue tones. The first one is probably my favorite because it’s classic but if the last two were combined! Holy Nightmare! The last one’s head sculpt is reminiscent of the comic book Batman. Switching the last dispenser’s navy blue for black would make one heck of a perfect Bat-Pez dispenser!
**After scanning Bat-Blog, I noticed there’s a new set of Batman Pez dispensers that have been released that include Joker, Riddler, Two-Face, and a Batman with a gray body and the same head as the last dispenser pictured here. These are such nice sculpts and are a Bat-fans wet dream!
Nod if you’ve ever experienced Malt-Mouth which is the burning sensation you get inside your mouth after sucking on balls…not just any balls though…Malted Milk Balls. It’s a rare occasion that I actually partake in any malted milk balls, but when I do it’s usually the most popular brand, Whoppers.
If you’re going for it you may as well enjoy the best in it’s class. Think about it, what other malted milk ball comes in a carton? Anything that isn’t milk that comes in a milk carton must be awesome. A candy needs to have a very positive self image and cannot be self conscious in any way in order to display itself on store shelves in a carton. People won’t know what the hell it is. Is it a liquid candy? No silly it’s a carton full of brown balls that you can suck on!
The candy world has been on a rampage lately with debuting new varieties of classic candies. I always think this is a mistake because the new varieties are never as good. Let’s face it peanut butter M&M’s are pretty bad and why do we need them when we can have the original Reese’s pieces? They were good enough for E.T, right?
Whopper Strawberry Milkshake balls came out a few months back. Unfortunately these are light pink and sickeningly sweet. The flavor is pretty accurate but not only did I find that they had an aftertaste, but there were also too many “dud” balls. I’m not talking milk duds here…I’m talking about those bastard balls that weren’t fully processed and taste like burnt corn syrup. If you attempt to bite into these hard, lame balls you’ll see how gross they look. The original Whoppers beat this strawberry variety any day.
Coming up a close second are these new Reese’s Peanut Butter Whoppers. The package enticed me while I was at the checkout counter. I’m so easily sold. The peanut butter variety has the same type of gimmick as the strawberry, only with a flavor more conducive to a malt ball. To make a candy that has been notoriously paired with chocolate forever into strawberry milkshake was a mistake. I was more impressed with the peanut butter but the original remains the best of the bunch. The peanut butter version has a creamy and accurate peanut butter flavor, but like the strawberry version, it’s hard to eat a lot of them because they can easily make you want to vomit.
During this spooky time of year I feel right at home having a blog. When I check out all of my favorite blogs and websites many of them such as X-Entertainment and Brandedinthe80s.com feature countdowns where most of the posts throughout the month of October are Halloween related. This kicks alot of ass if you’re a fan of the holiday which I most definitely am. I’ve always been a huge fan of horror movies and thrillers and I’ve already started playing the Halloween playlist on my iPod which I spend all year tweaking because I’m a super geek. Unfortunately I’m not writing this to inform you that I’ll have a Halloween related post every day this month, but I’ll do my best. First you’ll notice that I’ve changed the header on the site. This is a classic scene from one of my favorite movies of all time, Ghostbusters. I don’t consider it a “Halloween” movie but Slimer and The Sexy Armpit are “perfect together.”
The second product we’ll take a look at is Jeff’s New York Egg Cream in it’s special Orange Dream flavor. This is a creamy style soda that tastes like a Creamsicle. If you’ve never tasted an Egg Cream you’re really missing out. If you’re lactose intolerant then I feel sorry for you because these sodas are so unbelievably delicious. Jeff’s egg creams precisely replicates these old school sodas. If an “Egg Cream” sounds disgusting, it really isn’t since according to Wikipedia, they don’t contain egg or cream and they were basically described as a “poor man’s ice cream soda.” Think Seltzer mixed with orange and vanilla cream and you have Jeff’s Orange Dream. I’ve also been a big fan of their plain vanilla flavor as well.
At work the other day we came into a windfall of Smarties. It was fun, it was like Halloween. I don’t eat candy a lot now that I’m all “grown up,” but I was a loyal fan of the candy when I was a kid. Smarties were a favorite of mine and I can’t count how many occasions Smarties wound up in my hands. We would get them in birthday party goody bags, on Halloween, and sometimes in a big-ass variety pack mom bought that was filled with candy. Smarties never changed the formula and always stayed true to themselves. The packaging, flavor, and consistency have stayed the same as long as I can remember. This means a lot in comparison with all the rest of the candy out there.
We stuffed our pockets with as much would fit. My coworker and I had lumpy asses. I haven’t had them in so long so I ripped into them immediately and they tasted awesome. There was actually different varieties like Tropical, which didn’t taste too much different than the original, and Bubble Gum! Now, I’m a big fan of the flavor bubble gum as in “Maglione’s Italian Ice Bubble Gum,” and I was hoping that the Smarties would taste similar. After I popped a bunch in my mouth and started chewing I realized that they actually turned into gum. A pretty BAD gum if I must say. It tasted like apples instead of bubble gum. Even worse, was that it was the type of weak gum that seems like your chewing a pansy ass gum that wears frilly violet shirts. I spit the damn gum out immediately. I couldn’t stand it.
It’s such a shame that Smarties has bowed to the pressures of society and started making all these different varieties. That’s the downfall of quality. Why make Reese’s with caramel, Reese’s with white chocolate, Reese’s with pudding, Reese’s cookies, Reese’s with pesto sauce, Reese’s with neon yellow peanut butter, Reese’s with her spoon, the list goes on and on. To all the candy companies: Start concentrating on the original and quit worrying about offshoots! Stop trying to spin-off your candy! Are you trying to make candy or jump the shark?
After checking out their website, I read that they’re a family owned company and they are made right in Union, New Jersey! Not that this makes me forget how awful their Smarties gum is, but it definitely puts them back in my good graces. But that didn’t last long as I continued to peruse their site and saw so many different kinds of Smarties to chose from. There’s even Smarties candy money! Let this be a lesson, stick to the basics. Once you start manufacturing X-Treme Sour Smarties, it’s disastrous!
And what’s with Nestle Chocolate Smarties clogging up search engines when I search for the REAL Smarties? F-them! Does anyone even like them?