New York Comic Con 2013 Recap by Jay

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We’re taking a brief break from the Halloween Countdown, and boy do I mean brief. I’m only 2 sentences in and I already want to get back to celebrating Halloween. New York Comic Con needs to happen in November. October is exclusively for packing in the most Halloween fun as humanly possible, not getting caught up in geekery and action figure exclusives…well there’s always a little room for that. New York Comic Con 2013 is now history, and I must say, if it weren’t for an insane headache and stomach ache, I had a good time. Of course, as usual, I have reservations about it though. Join me and I’ll tell you all about my experience this year at the Javitz Center.

This is only my 3rd official Comic Con which means in comic geek circles I’m an amateur. Not really though, because you only need to go to one of these boundless events to grasp how they work. I was always under the impression that Monster Mania and Chiller cons were chaotic, but they’re super tame in comparison. Comic Con literally brings in people from all over the world and packs them into the Javitz Center to the point where you can walk without getting jabbed by people’s costumes. You can’t walk through anywhere without asking people to let you get by because everyone is staring in awe at everything they pass. The amazing part is, only a fraction of these people read comics.

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I wouldn’t go a full post about comic con without posting the most bubbly and friendly Supergirl I’ve ever met. And what kind of cosplay does a New Jersey Pop Culture Blog post? 
Jay and Silent Bob cosplay of course! Snootchie Bootchies!

One of the main reservations I have about this event is that comic books and their artists haven’t been the main attraction in many years, and they obviously should be. The only reason I go to these is to meet the artists whose work I admire, and to possibly pick up some of their prints. Comic Con has become more about big time companies promoting their wares and cosplayers promoting themselves as a brand (nothing wrong with that, but some cosplayers are truly into the comics and the scene, while others just go as a chance to get pictures taken of themselves). Plus, don’t go thinking you’re going to get great deals on ANYTHING…cause you aren’t.

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Padme by artist Dennis Budd and Red Sonja by NJ artist Dave Bullock

Smaller scale comic book conventions are great for fetching you a ton of dirt cheap comics. Comic Con has tables with comic book sellers, but those prices aren’t that much more reasonable than what you’ll see on eBay. So, going for comics isn’t the best idea. Besides, I get my comics through Comixology anyway, so that solves that.

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The big comic book companies were there in full force, well, at least some of them were. Marvel was mobbed and they were doing gangbusters business. As expected, their booth was one of the most visited on the floor. Conspicuous by its absence was a DC booth. I looked all over for it, but little did I know that there was no DC booth on the con floor! I didn’t consult with the 380 page program that they handed me when I walked in, nor did I download the app in fears that I’d use up more battery power on my phone. If I did look at any of those things I’d probably know that the DC booth was tucked in a hallway far, far away. Once I finally found the limp DC booth about an hour after I arrived, I was so disappointed at what little they had to offer.

The DC booth had all the Superman movie costumes through the years displayed in glass cases. There was a DC video game station and a few other minor details, but nothing that enticed me to stay there longer than a minute or two. I didn’t see much in the way of free crap either.

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I haven’t watched our little friend Sam yet this Halloween season. Trick r Treat is on my watch list for this week and Afterlife with Archie is on my reading list.

Free crap is another big reason why people go to Comic Con. People love free crap. I learned my lesson from past Cons though. I used to take one of whatever was handed to me or available to grab. In the past I wound up with a giant bag of random comic con freebies that I didn’t know what to do with. I wound up trashing most of it and whatever was good enough to keep I gave away to whoever wanted it. I didn’t take one thing this time. OK, blatant lie. I DID take a Real Ghostbusters poster that FearNet was giving away. But that was it, I swear.

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Some NJ ink in the style of the NY Yankees logo and 
a poster for the new Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back MiniMates!

One obstacle with Comic Con is that you literally have to search for a way to keep your shit all together. Unless you come prepared with a giant bag or Uhaul, you might find yourself with a handful of stuff and you may find yourself in another part of the Javitz Center and you may ask yourself “where does that hallway go to?” IT GOES NOWHERE. IT GOES TO THE BATHROOMS. IT GOES NOWHERE YOU WANT IT TO GO. I REPEAT IT DOES NOT GO TO ARTIST ALLEY IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. And I ended up stealing a new garbage bag off the janitor’s garbage bin in order to hold all my stuff. Couldn’t find a damn bag anywhere. If they want me to come back they need to offer me a huge bag as soon as I walk in.

Anyway, good luck finding Artist Alley. You’ll have a better chance finding it if you wore ruby slippers, clicking your heels together, and letting a twister bring you there. For me, that’s the stuff I want and they bury it all the way on the other side of the building. Even on an extremely high speed people mover it would take you 39 minutes to get there from the main entrance. Screw that!

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Went to say hello to Dan Parent who I’ve met a few times and he was very cool as always. I bought a couple of pieces of art from him since I’m a fan of his and of Archie Comics in general. Here’s an original piece of Cherry Blossom and a print of Betty The Vampire Slayer vs. Vampironica. An excellent choice for Halloween!

A few of the toy booths I visited had some cool items that I was enticed by, but it turned out that the sellers weren’t at the table at the moment and they put random dudes in charge of their table. Said dudes knew nothing about pricing on anything and they weren’t authorized to make any sales themselves, so basically they were there to make sure people didn’t steal shit. That’s great for the person who was running the table because if they were in the mood for a sausage sandwich they could go grab one, but sucked for me since I stopped by the tables 6 times. I SAID I STOPPED BY THE TABLE 6 TIMES. 6 TIMES! Man I hope you get that reference. These guys were missing out on a possibly lucrative sale. Wait, what am I saying? What am I going to do with a repainted Skeletor figure that is supposedly rebranded as “art,” for $145 dollars. That’s just utterly f*cking ridiculous.

Go to take in the sights! Stay and absorb all the cosplayers hard work! But, most importantly, support the artists! The big major companies who are strategically situated on the con floor can afford it if you bypass their kiosk that’s merely serving as a sign up center for their silly e-mail list, so next time you go to Comic Con, head straight for Artist Alley and spend a good chunk of your time there. That’s where the magic happens. Literally. The con wouldn’t exist if artists and writers didn’t create the comics in the first place. Otherwise it would just be called New York Con and that’s just a dumb f*cking name.

The Monstrous Miniature Glowing Golf Experience in Edison, NJ

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Yup, now you know you’re in New Jersey…
Aside from New Jersey pop culture, there aren’t many things that The Sexy Armpit is an expert at, that is, except playing mini-golf in a black-lit room full of crazy incandescent murals and animatronic monsters. Monster Mini Golf is to thank for bringing us this experience and in this post we will take a look at some of the New Jersey themed murals on the walls in the Edison, NJ location.

Several years ago, when Monster Mini Golf opened in Fairfield, NJ, they were gracious enough to have us out for a round of mini-golf. They also hooked us up with a few passes for a giveaway which was very cool of them.

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Hopewell Valley is a group of communities in Mercer County, NJ

I immediately fell in love with the concept of Monster Mini-Golf, since mini-golf is actually one thing I’m good at and thoroughly enjoy. I despise regular golf, so please don’t invite me on one of your ridiculously expensive “outings.”

As if Monster Mini Golf couldn’t be more up my alley, a few years ago KISS announced a partnership with the company. Located in Las Vegas, KISS Monster Mini Golf is just as awesome as the other locations, but if you’re a KISS fan it’s euphoric. Non-stop KISS music blasts as you make your way through the rounds which include giant KISS boots and a finale involving Gene’s tongue (naturally). KISS memorabilia adorns the walls and there’s even a KISS shop where you can buy all kinds of KISS stuff. I’ve been there twice and I would take up residence there if I could.

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Christie Street in Edison was the first street in the world to use electric light bulbs for illumination

Since Fairfield is a little bit of drive for us, I was excited when Monster Mini Golf announced a couple of new locations close by a few years ago. After visiting the location in Edison, NJ a few times, I must commend the company for the theme running through the murals on the walls.

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Monster Mini Golf pays Thomas Edison a tribute in this mural also featuring George Lucas

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Monster Golf’s murals usually include their original characters, but this time they incorporated a local motif. The Fairfield location had a zombie Bruce Springsteen, but that was nothing compared to the several New Jersey references that appear on the walls in Edison, and if you’re perceptive you’ll certainly notice them.

Most prominently was the fact that the location is in Edison, NJ, a town named for Thomas Edison, “The Wizard of Menlo Park.” The impact of that probably gets lost on the youth of today, but I always find it amazing that one of the most famous inventors of all time and a pioneer of things we use in everyday life is from the local Sexy Armpit Area. People like me, voracious consumers of media, have a lot to thank Thomas Edison for. He’s responsible for the record player, the movie camera, and the practical electric light bulb.

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In addition to Thomas Edison, another notable Edison native, Susan Sarandon, appears in a mural as well. With a mini Frank-n-Furter doll, this art brings to mind Sarandon’s starring role in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, one of my favorite traditions not only during October, but year round. Above catch a glimpse of a green version of October 2010’s Garden State Playmate.

The Night He Came Home…to South Jersey

It would be preposterous for me to go around posting sensational claims like “every state has an Empire State Building,” or “every state has a St. Louis Arch,” but it’s totally NOT out of the question to say that “Every town has an Elm Street,” because so many towns actually do. Freddy Krueger made that claim in his sixth film, but I can’t seem to recall Michael Myers ever boasting that “All states have a Haddonfield,” and even if he did, it would be completely unfounded.

Haddonfield is a well known town amongst the horror community for being the serene suburb of Illinois where Michael Myers went on a murderous rampage. Although the movie was filmed in California and set in Illinois, the real Haddonfield is in New Jersey, and it served as the inspiration for the town’s name.

Haddonfield would probably be relatively unknown town to the rest of the nation if it weren’t for the film’s co-writer and co-producer, the late Debra Hill, who was born there. Hill and John Carpenter worked on several films together including the first 3 Halloween movies. Hill, who at one time was romantically linked to Carpenter, grew up a mere 10 minutes away in Philadelphia, PA.

If you’ve been to the Monster Mania Convention in Cherry Hill, you’ve probably seen the signs in that area for the real Haddonfield. If you were second guessing yourself by saying “Nah, Halloween was in Illinois…” then technically you are correct, but just keep in mind that Illinois is about 700 some odd miles away from the real Haddonfield! That said, New Jersey doesn’t have sour grapes about the film being set in another state because Haddonfield is already known for another monster, the Hadrosaurus Foulkii. Haddy was the first in-tact dinosaur skeleton ever found and put on display, which is friggin’ cool. What town wouldn’t want their own dinosaur?

Dinosaurs aside, off the top of my head, New Jersey can lay claim to Jason Voorhees, The Toxic Avenger, Vera Farmiga (Norma Bates FTW!) and the inspiration for the setting of Halloween. Knowing that so much of the basis of many classic horror films are rooted in New Jersey is pretty incredible. I think trivia like this is awesome because of how obscure it is. If you’re not a big fan of the Halloween franchise, you might have been unaware of the fact that Debra Hill infused a little bit of South Jersey into Halloween.

In honor of its 35th anniversary, you can catch the original Halloween as it returns to theaters for special screenings around the country. In addition, both Halloween 4 and 5 will also be screened. Check ScreenVision.com for a full list of screenings in your area.

Other sites of interest:
Fictional Entry for Haddonfield on Horror Movies Wiki: http://horror-movies.wikia.com/wiki/Haddonfield,_Illinois
Coldwell Banker mentions the Halloween connection to NJ from a real estate perspective:
Official Site of the Hadrosaurus Foulkii: http://hadrosaurus.com
Official Haddonfield Website: http://www.haddonfieldnj.org/

Leave It To Cleaver

 photo cleaversopranos_zps24bc81ba.jpgIf you were ever yearning for a direct to DVD mafia slasher movie within an HBO show, Cleaver is the way to go, especially because it might be the only one to fit that very specific category. As a huge fan of The Sopranos and a horror fanatic, I was amused when the two worlds began to merge in the 6th season.

 
Christopher Moltisanti wrote the film’s story which seems to mirror his own life. His ideas for the film were inspired by his tensions with his mob contemporaries and the possibility of an affair between his fiance Adriana and his boss Tony Soprano.
 
The premise of Cleaver revolves around a mafia killer who gets betrayed by his people and they kill him and cut him into pieces that they leave all over the city. The body parts come back together (possibly supernaturally) and he comes back to life to exact revenge on those who f*cked him over. Every slasher needs a memorable killer and in Cleaver it was The Butcher, who was aptly named for a movie originally titled Pork Store Killer. Sounds like an upcoming Asylum picture.
 
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWZehc-K2O4]

Described in the show as “SAW meets Godfather II” or “The Ring Meets The Godfather,” the mob/slasher movie eventually got it’s own mockumentary which is included in The Sopranos complete series DVD set and posted above thanks to YouTube user bufflo. There’s also a cult following for the film which spawned memorabilia like t-shirts and mugs.
 
Horror fans not acquainted with The Sopranos would appreciate it because it never held back from showing explicit violence and gore. Some scenes in the series were pretty horrific at times, especially when Christopher’s movie project was getting the spotlight. After the series ended there were tons of rumors floating around about a Sopranos movie, but instead, a real Cleaver movie would’ve reached beyond just viewers of the show and into the massive horror audience all over the world. Are you reading this Michael Imperioli?

Abbott and Costello Meet Jason Voorhees?!!

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Abbott and Costello Meet Jason! by Primo Cardinalli
painted in the style of the classic Abbott and Costello theater one-sheets
Check him out at a future Monster Mania Con!
1948’s Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is my earliest and most memorable experience watching a horror comedy. In many ways, this film was an economical choice for me to watch as a young horror-loving kid because it combined the classic band of Universal Monsters (save for Gill-Man) and a comedy team who I watched in other exploits with my Dad who introduced me to them.
 
In Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, the legendary comedy duo from New Jersey found themselves face to face with Dracula, the Wolfman, and Frankenstein, in what is considered the last hurrah for Universal’s Monsters. It was silly and spine tingling at the same time. It’s been a wish of mine for many years that Abbott and Costello could come alive in some way and run into some of my favorite modern horror icons. As you can see in the painting above, it’s not just a pipe dream of mine, but also of artist Primo Cardinalli who envisioned Abbott and Costello Meeting Jason at Camp Crystal Lake. With the original Camp Crystal Lake located in NJ, this would be the ultimate Garden State horror mash-up and it desperately NEEDS to be made! But how is it possible? It IS…read on!
 
In reading more about the film on its Wikipedia page, I never realized that this film was considered the culmination of a long run of monster movies for Universal. Fortunately though, popularity of the film revived the public’s interest in monster movies and prompted Universal to produce a new wave of monster films throughout the ’50s. Abbott and Costello’s meeting with Frankenstein collected $3.2 million dollars at the box office in 1948. You better believe that this kind of box office magic would still work today.
The idea of seeing Abbott and Costello trapped in today’s horror landscape excites me to no end.
It’s obvious that Hollywood just can’t seem to get horror comedies right and it’s a shame because there’s a place for them as long as they’re respectful to the genre. There’s been a slew of films that have incorporated classic movie monsters in a comedic way that have worked like Monster Squad and Hotel Transylvania amongst others.
Instead of poking fun at the Universal Monsters, Abbott and Costello’s adventures always paid them the ultimate tribute by presenting them properly and without compromising the monster’s scare factor. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein wasn’t exactly chilling, but the monsters maintain their imposing nature. Interestingly, Boris Karloff supposedly refused to be a part of the production because he felt it would be insulting to mix slapstick and horror.
As the Scary Movie franchise and this year’s A Haunted House have proven, poking fun at horror isn’t making any friends in the horror community, nor does the formula produce hit movies which is why it’s time for to get a little retro. A Haunted House 2 is coming next year, but what for? Nobody wants that and it’s time to go back to the basics. At first, old fashioned spooky fun may seem far fetched, but I believe that there’s still hope left to one day experience this type of throwback.
 
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art by Nickelodeon storyboard artist Scott Cooper

I always thought it would be such an awesome idea to pit Abbott and Costello vs. Jason Voorhees. You may be thinking that I’m totally off my rocker for trying to cast two dead comedians to appear in a new movie, but bear with me. If I had it my way, this movie wouldn’t be some weird CGI movie where real footage from other Abbott and Costello films was culled together to create a whole new one because that’s silly Hollywood crap reserved for Super Bowl commercials. My thinking is that the best presentation of a film like this would be in a lush, 1940’s style 2-D animation. The voices can be provided by Abbott and Costello impersonators or any number of the best voice over guys in the business could do it. Bud and Lou would have to be skewed a little but younger, but I can totally see the duo being revived in cartoon form for a modern kids audience. Just take a look at Scott Cooper’s art above and you’ll see what I mean.

Who would Abbott and Costello run into in this movie? Jason Voorhees is easily my top choice for his own feature, but if there were an ensemble cast of monsters like in Meets Frankenstein, I’d love to see them have run-ins with Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, Leatherface, Chucky, and maybe even an appearance by Jigsaw and Billy the Puppet? You can use your imagination, because with 2-D animation the sky is the limit. We already know who’s going to paint the poster and the bluray box, thanks Mr. Cardinalli!

HALLOWEEN 2013 GIVEAWAY!

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Announcing the Halloween 2013 Giveaway here at The Sexy Armpit! This conglomeration of stuff will be sent out to one lucky winner. The details of how to enter are shown in the photo above. This may be the simplest giveaway we’ve ever held here at The Sexy Armpit. If you have any questions please contact me!

www.facebook.com/armpitNJ
@sexyarmpit
sexyarmpit@comcast.net

Package will include all of the above items (2 Ghostbusters comics, Franken Berry Van, Mad Mad Monster VHS Tape, Monster High Draculaura doll, Ghost Story/Circle of Fear DVD, Dracula PEZ Dispenser, Demo Man loose figure, Twilight Zone mouse pad, Mad Mad Monsters tattoo sheet.)

*WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON 10/30/13 (Winner chosen from a list using a random number generator)

Real Ghostbusters Ride Into A Ghost Town…in NEW JERSEY!

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New York and Chicago are home to many of history’s “mainstream” mobsters. The fact is though, the mafia has always been heavily attached to New Jersey culture as well. Even if you weren’t aware of that, The Sopranos helped further cement it (cement shoes style) into public consciousness. More recently, HBO was yet again responsible for directing everyone’s attention to Jersey’s criminal affiliations. This time it was Nucky Thompson, a politician and organized crime boss in Boardwalk Empire which is set in Atlantic City during the prohibition era. Sure, you’ve become familiar with Tony and Nucky, but there was also an animated TV crime lord that you may not remember. His name was Boss Poso. Chances are, if you never crossed the streams and drank your Ecto Cooler every morning like a good little kid, you probably remember this big fat tub of purple ectoplasm.

Growing up in Jersey, I knew of so many people who were said to be “connected.” I can’t imagine that there’s heavy mob activity in North Dakota or Mississippi, so, living here in the Tri-State Area comes with the added bonus of real life exposure to organized crime. It was even in the shows I watched as a kid.

Like a lot of you I was religious about watching The Real Ghostbusters. It was one of my favorite cartoons growing up. Seeing that my state was mentioned frequently throughout the series always amused me. I saw both Ghostbusters films in the theater when they were originally released and I obviously realized that they were filmed and set in New York City, but as a kid, New York City seemed like a totally different world. As I got a little older, I realized that New York City was right through the tunnel, or what we used to call “the straw.”

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My queen Janine Melnitz in Poso’s Clutches – very similar to Leia and Jabba in ROTJ

With our close proximity to Manhattan, it was almost a given for New Jersey to get some air time once in a while. Even with all five boroughs for writers to play around with, they still found reasons to send the Ghostbusters over to Jersey. Not much has changed because the Garden State was still the brunt of jokes back in October of 1989 when the episode of Slimer and The Real Ghostbusters “Partners in Slime” first aired.

In the episode, Poso, a Jabba the Hutt inspired ghost, involved in organized crime, wants to become the godfather of all the ghosts and maintain control over them. He figures that the easiest way to go about this is to take over the Ghostbusters operation. To accomplish this, his minions (who resemble 1930s gangsters) pluck Janine and Louis Tully out of a mall (enjoying our minimally lower sales tax while shopping on Janine’s birthday) by trapping them Tower of Terror style in an elevator. Poso then takes them for ransom and won’t let them go until the Ghostbusters fork over their headquarters and their ‘busting equipment to him.

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Shifter points out Ghost Town, NJ but his finger is NOWHERE NEAR NEW JERSEY!

Slimer apprises the guys of the situation. The rest of the episode involves the Ghostbusters orchestrating a pretty elaborate plan to rescue Janine and Louis. The guys release a ghost, Shifter, who used to be Poso’s sidekick. He’s instrumental in their *SPOILER* eventual nabbing of Boss Poso, whose lair is located in Ghost Town, NJ. When hearing the term “Ghost Town,” it might bring to mind a desolate town out west or down south with tumbleweeds rolling across the dirt. Nah, it’s in Jersey and on the Ghostbusters Wiki it’s described as “a run down town in New Jersey.” Gee thanks, not another one! These episodes were only 22 minutes long, so for the sake of time, the Ghostbusters only had to make the trek over the Hudson river to Jersey in a spooky little “ferry” similar to the one Charon paddles around in the original Clash of the Titans.

Four other great things about this episode:

  • An Undead Hooker
  • Mood Slime returns!
  • Cameos by the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and Samhain
  • A Vigo The Carpathian Shout-Out
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The fact that The Real Ghostbusters wasn’t just a knockoff of the feature film was an element that didn’t bother me. I remember some friends in school not liking the show just because it “wasn’t like the movie.” I doubt the people responsible for the show back then expected 6 year old kids to have such discerning taste. After a really good run of several seasons, the show morphed into Slimer and The Real Ghostbusters. The plots began to feature more of the exploits of Slimer and Janine Melnitz. Each episode became a slightly more goofy and child friendly in nature. Not necessarily worse than previous seasons, just infusing more Slimer. The ghosts weren’t as nightmare inducing, and the major villains weren’t as formidable. But you already know that. Maybe Boss Poso shouldn’t have been lumped in with the likes of Tony Soprano and Nucky Thompson after all!

*Read about The Real Ghostbusters and The New Jersey Parallelogram  and be sure to Take a look at some animation cels from this episode with Shawn from Branded in the ’80s 

“Hey Fun-Ghoul, I’m Sexy Armpit!”

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In my last post I recapped the NJ KISS Expo, but that wasn’t the extent of our adventure that day, nope, not by a long shot! It was a gorgeous Saturday and there was much more to do. Next on the agenda was a place that falls right in line with the Halloween Countdown!

Not often will one of my posts feature a title inspired by one of Rizzo’s lines in the movie Grease. If there are any Pink Ladies out there, savor it while you can. I’m always a sucker for a cheap double entendre, but I’m also a sucker for a good old fashioned, brilliantly named costume shop, and for 26 years the Fun-Ghoul Costume Shop in Rutherford, NJ has been all that. Checking this place out has been on my agenda for a very long time, but over the weekend we finally took a trip there.

I had no idea what to expect from this place before going in. As I mentioned, I’ve heard of the place, but it wasn’t like anyone ever recommended it to me. I’ve seen ads a long time ago in Weird NJ (at least I think I did!), but other than that I was going in blind. All I knew is that they sell costumes. Judging by my Apple maps, I didn’t even think the place existed anymore since it kept bringing us to the same address in the next town over. For a good 10 minutes I was absolutely convinced that this place had become a chiropractor’s office. The Fun-Ghoul Shop is located at 155 Park Ave in Rutherford, but we kept getting directed to 155 Park Ave in Lyndhurst which is exactly a mile away. It was frustrating, but by the time I became officially fed up, we’d finally found it!

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While walking up to storefront, My friend L.C and I agreed that it felt like we might have been headed into the Magic Shop in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Upon entering we were greeted by an employee who offered his help if we needed anything. Things weren’t incredibly organized, but the place definitely had personality. I saw a few animated Dracula statues, mannequins, and some random masks and wigs around the store, and it was pretty cool, but I had this feeling that there had to be more. The shop had a healthy stock of costumes, but it wasn’t anywhere near as vast as a Spirit Halloween store. It’s unfortunate, but the Spirit stores are like the Wal-Mart and Targets of costume shops and they don’t give local businesses much of a shot. In Fun-Ghoul’s case, they’ve survived because they diversified and they’re open all year long.

See, it’s not just a costume shop, the Fun-Ghoul footprint spans 3 connecting storefronts on Park Avenue. I knew there was more to this place! The tall gentleman who greeted us began chatting with us about what kind of costumes we were looking for and I explained that for a long time I’ve wanted to stop in to see what their place was all about. Then I asked him what was in the other adjacent shops.

I didn’t think it would be anything too offbeat like a taxidermist or shrunken head supply store, but I admit the possibility of that was there. Once I probed a little bit, the guy told me that he was asked to work the 3 shops all day. I sympathized with him and said “So that means you have to walk back and forth to the stores and lock up after you leave each one?” He verified that was precisely what he had to do. Knowing that info, you’d think I would leave the guy alone and not make him go crazy, but I was so curious to see what was in the other shops. “Can you take us into the other stores?” Yes, I was that annoying guy who’s bothering this dude on a beautiful Saturday.

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It was early afternoon and neither the town, nor its stores seemed to have many people around. Fun-Ghoul was empty when we got there, so it gave us ample time to walk around and snap photos, something I may or may not have been allowed to do. Thanks to our Times Scare fiasco, I now have an irrational fear of using a camera. Plus, I didn’t feel as bad basically asking for a store tour.

“Before we ask you to lock up and take us in to the other shop, what do the other stores sell anyway?” He explained to me that they have the costume shop, the costume rental shop, and…a PROP shop. My ears must’ve perked up as if I was a dog because the idea of a prop store piqued my interest.

“Oooh can you take us into the prop store?” I was like a little kid. He locked up and brought us over into the other store. Upon entering I thought to myself “this is exactly what we came for.” Picturing this place in your mind isn’t difficult. Think of your neighbors half finished basement filled to the brim with the most random and elaborate Halloween decorations ever. That is this store, and it was glorious.

The first thing I noticed were the two humongous Oscar statues. Not everything was Halloweeny, but the majority of it was pretty macabre as you can gather from the photos. Everything was for sale. I didn’t ask for pricing on anything because I just unloaded a wad of cash earlier at the KISS Expo and I knew the day wasn’t over. As I stood in awe snapping 650,000 photos, I noticed our store employee was nowhere to be found. Our friend L.C said “Hm, what’s back here?” and I looked toward the back of the shop where I saw an open doorway that let a dim light peek out. L.C started to walk toward it.

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Still unaware of where our shop employee vanished to, I cautiously shouted “Is it alright if we go back there?” And I heard him say “Yes, come back here.” It was time for a Shaggy and Scooby-style GULP. His voice sounded like it was coming from the back room which indicated to me that he was just waiting for our curiosity to lead us there.

Fearlessly, I walked toward the doorway. Once inside, it all made sense. I knew a place like this must have had a secret room or something. It was right out of a movie. The room was like a dark ride without the boat ride. It’s like a mini-haunted walk through that must be seen to be believed! I don’t know if I’m just not hanging out with the right circle of friends or what, but I’ve lived in Jersey my whole life and never once heard about this. I guess it’s just something you need to stumble on yourself, but if I hadn’t asked the nice guy at the store if we could check out the other shops, we would’ve left having seen only a costume shop.

I didn’t even ask to go into the costume rental part of their store because I felt I reached the pinnacle of what they had to offer. Besides, there were Smurf heads, Easter Bunny, and Frosty the Snowman heads with their respective full body costumes neatly organized for people to rent. It’s kind of creepy when you walk by the storefront and see the heads staring back at you through the window. Totally different experience when someone is wearing one and taking pictures with children.

I didn’t make a purchase at Fun-Ghoul, but it was well worth the confusion of getting there. If I ever need a sarcophagus or a squishy, life-size alien body for a staged autopsy, I know where to go. More stores need employees that lure you into secret rooms that spontaneously transform into haunted attractions after switching on a black light.

The Fun-Ghoul Costume Co.
155 Park Avenue
Rutherford, NJ 07070 

NJ KISS Expo 2013 Recap

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This weekend was packed with stuff that I want to tell you about. The first of these adventures was the New Jersey KISS Expo at the NJ Convention & Expo Center in Edison, NJ.

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Oh, you know there’s an old adage that my great great great Aunt Florence used to say and that was “If you’ve been to one KISS convention, you’ve been to them all.” That might be true, but after going to a shit ton of them in my life, I can’t say there’s ever a moment when I’m at one that I’m ever NOT amused every second. Of course, if you’re not down with KISS, which many people aren’t, then you might not enjoy one of these, but there’s also a chance that if you aren’t a fan, you might be leaving as a newly inducted member of the KISS Army. That’s usually what happens.

KISS cons and expos have a way of seducing non-fans. An outsider might see the mystique and aura that surrounds the band, especially if they know nothing about them. That’s the best part of KISS. Walking around the expo center in Edison on Saturday, was no different than the other KISS expos I’ve been to, but it’s just a good time and a chance to not only buy KISS stuff, but also mingle with fellow KISS Army members. It was a total geek-out for us.

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One time a friend once asked me, “What do you do at a KISS convention?” I always thought that was a silly question, but it really isn’t because not everyone knows what KISS is all about. For many fans, including myself, it’s about the music foremost, but there’s a large part of it that’s about collecting cool KISS crap. So yeah, buy some KISS stuff, look at some KISS stuff, listen to a KISS tribute band, can you see the underlying theme here?

Sometimes though, it’s almost like you MUST buy something just to justify why you go to KISS cons. My only minor complaint about the NJ KISS expo is that attendees pay anywhere from $10-$20 dollars admission, but the show is relatively small. There are 2 large dealer rooms and that’s about it. Unless you purchase a ticket to a V.I.P signing, such as Tommy Thayer (or last year was Peter Criss I believe) that’s the extent of the show. I was hoping this year would be bigger, but it was pretty much the same as previous years. Also featured was KISSNation, a KISS Tribute band, but next year they need to get the larger space in the building and make the event a bigger deal. They can open up their dealer rooms to not only KISS dealers, but also toy and pop culture dealers as well.

You want me to stop with all the jibber jabber and cut to the point where I tell you what I bought? Actually, I will do that because if I don’t, I’ll literally continue writing about KISS until 6 a.m tomorrow morning. Luckily, for brevity’s sake, I only picked up 2 things. Well, it was ALMOST four.

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The only reason why I decided against the above pictured jacket was because it probably wouldn’t have fit me. Otherwise, why wouldn’t I want a ridiculously colorful KISS jacket that looked like it was made out of a kid’s plastic kite from Toys R Us in 1991? I still have my KISS rain slicker made out of a yellow Slip ‘n Slide material from ’86 that I never wear. In retrospect, cooler heads prevailed here, and by cooler I mean I wasn’t swayed by my emotions. A cooler head would obviously be wearing this insane KISS jacket while writing this.

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That jacket would really go well with a silver $20 dollar FUCK ring. Just to explain that one…it’s a Twent-ttty-doll-har ringgg that has the word F-U-C-K on it. Who would ever need a wedding band or an engagement ring when you can have a FUCK ring?

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For realz though, my first real acquisition was a KISS poster. the poster was affectionately labeled “Pink Creatures Poster.” I would’ve bought it on best name principle alone. KISS fans know what this means, even the casual ones. It’s a whimsical title, but it’s not a secret code, it’s just stating that the background is pink and the album it was made in promotion of was Creatures of the Night, and poster means it’s a big ass photograph printed on a quite large piece of paper. Keep in mind that this is a 30 year old poster, not one you could find all over Spencer’s in the mall in 1999. The poster features the late Eric Carr, my favorite drummer, and it caught my eye because its pink background stood out. I admit that was part of why I bought it. It’s always cool to see KISS in front of a background that’s not black or gray. KISS did pose for a lot pictures in front of brightly colored canvases in the late ’70s as well as through the ’80s, and this was one of the cooler ones.

Let me make it abundantly clear that I DO NOT need any more posters. I own so many damn posters that I could probably wallpaper the entire interior of the New Jersey Expo Center. At this point, I have two framed posters waiting patiently to be put up on my wall and this new one’s probably waited 30 some odd years to get put up and now it won’t see the light of day until, I don’t know, 2023? Sorry pink creatures poster 🙁 you’ll always be posted right here on my blog.

kissexpo09Next up was an old metal magazine. Typically I wouldn’t buy just a random old rock or metal magazine, but I found the cover to be pretty funny and appropriate. As if you hadn’t noticed, my favorite rock band of all time is KISS while Miss Sexy Armpit’s favorite “rock” band is Bon Jovi. I loved Bon Jovi in the ’80s and even in the ’90s, but basically all of their modern stuff has been totally weak. They lose even more points for alienating Richie Sambora and then firing him! If you know Richie, he’s a genuinely kickass guy and deserves much better treatment than that. So screw you Jon Bon Jovi!

KISS vs Bon Jovi? NO F*CKING CONTEST. Just blast a few of the hardest KISS tracks like “Parasite,” “Deuce,” “War Machine,” “I Stole Your Love,” and “Unholy” and you’ll know in a second who’s the better band. Even performing their weakest tracks in a concert 600 miles away from New Jersey, KISS would still blow Bon Jovi into the Atlantic Ocean. I’m pretty sure this was one of the easiest ways to sell a magazine in January of 1988. Motley Crue vs. Skid Row! ROUND 2 – FIGHT!

Great Geek Gorge #10: Pre-Halloween Haul

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Some people I know are often curious to see how I spend my money. Or should I say blow my money. Some people prefer to hoard their money, but my approach is that you can’t take it with you, so enjoy it while you are here. Many people live by that type of credo, but some indulge in a more extreme fashion than others. A woman can go out and buy a purse for $400 bucks and have no problem justifying that purchase, so I feel that an action figure, a box of cereal, and some snack cakes are more than worth it.

Batros Figure – Masters of the Universe Classics

In the MOTU Classics line, every figure and vehicle is referred to as “museum quality,” which I can’t argue with. The price point is about double or triple the cost of an action figure on a  rack in Toys R Us. That sounds crazy, but believe me, I don’t buy every figure that comes out. The money I have spent on figures from this collection has been well worth every penny.

The time and careful attention to detail put into these figures is incredible. The badass looking Batros, stealer of information and books, looks like he just walked out of a TV showing his ONE episode appearance in “The Great Books of Mystery.” He’s part of Matty Collector’s Filmation line, which is inspired solely by characters from the original cartoon series as opposed to the mini-comics, or 2002 animated series.

Halloween Crunch

So far, the Monster Cereals have been all the rage this season, and rightfully so, but I’m afraid Halloween Crunch is being overshadowed. Since it’s introduction in 2007, I haven’t had the easiest time finding Halloween Crunch locally. The last couple of years I’ve found it at Wal-Mart, but before that I felt like it was some kind of treasure that only appeared at certain stores around the country. Several of the gimmick Cap’n Crunch variations have been very elusive, but Halloween Crunch is easily my favorite. I’d even walk the plank and say that Halloween Crunch is my favorite of all the seasonal gimmick cereals presently offered throughout the year. It turns my f’n milk GREEN, what more is there to say?!!

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Justice League Fruit Snacks

The Justice League fruit snacks box art is incredible and there was no way I could pass these up, especially with that giant notification at the top of the box that these are um…NEW! It’s exciting to see all the DC heroes getting some attention finally. As always, Batman looks like he’s about to kick somebody’s ass for taking a picture of his box.

If only these existed when I was in elementary school! Fruit snacks were as big a part of lunch time in school as the type of chips you brought. There was a certain measure of respect and jealousy if someone brought a type of snack that you hadn’t eaten before or one that was harder to find. I always considered myself lucky if I had PB&J, a Ssips juice box, a bag of Doritos (or Bravos which sound second rate, but are also very good), and a dessert such as anything Little Debbie (which we’ll get to in a minute) or a “pouch” of fruit snacks.

Early on here at The Sexy Armpit I wrote about my affinity for 3 types of fruit snacks in the 80s, there was Sunkist Fruit Wrinkles, Shark Bites, and Thunder Jets. Most of the fruit snacks are similar today, containing one or two offbeat colors like black or pastel blue. Below you can see that Superman is pastel blue which pretty much excludes him from portraying a fruit flavor. Something tells me that touting “real fruit juice,” doesn’t pertain to the pastel blue variety of fruit snacks.

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The fun part about fruit snacks like Shark Bites and Thunder Jets was the chase. The commercial would get you all geared up to rip open your pouch to see if you got one of the specially colored and flavored snacks. The Great White and The Stealth Bomber respectively were the chase variants as it were. I don’t think there’s a mystery fruit snack in these, but you can compare the box colors to the ones I got and easily notice that the black Batman is supposed to be purple. The flavor was grape-like, but I’m not sure if it’s officially grape or blackberry. Either way, these brought me right back to the lunch table in school!

Green Margarita Mix in a Glass Skull, Target Exclusive “Ghoulish Potion”

Target just sucks you in, doesn’t it? Every damn time I’m in Target I wind up spending an exorbitant amount of money. In this case though, I am able to balance out my ridiculous purchases, like this glass skull filled with margarita mix, with other more justifiable purchases such as actual food, albeit occasionally healthy food, as well as necessities such as toilet paper, toothpaste, and laundry detergent. Let’s see how this shit turns out. I’m sure it’s going to taste like every other margarita mix, but one never knows. It may taste like Mountain Dew, we shall see momentarily.

The bottle clearly puts it over the top. I wouldn’t have bought margarita mix if it was in a witch, ghost, or werewolf shaped glass bottle, but skulls always do the trick for me. Since I probably couldn’t drink a whole bottle of vodka in less than a year or two, I’d probably never buy Dan Akroyd’s Crystal Skull vodka. Tequila and margaritas on the other hand will disappear rapidly at my place.

Verdict: not so good. After the mix was mixed it tasted more bitter than sweet and I prefer it to skew a bit on the sweeter side. After having margaritas at Jose Tejas in Woodbridge, most other margaritas don’t taste as good. Fortunately, after the mix is done, we are left with a cool bottle. I’ll probably dump the mix and put some Berry Blue Kool-Aid in it.

Tales From The Crypt Season 2

It’s easy to regret impulse buys, but Tales From The Crypt Season 2 seemed like a great deal. I picked it up for $9.99. Before I committed to it by dropping it in my cart at Wal-Mart, I checked Amazon and a few other sites on my phone to make sure it was a good price. If I could get it on Amazon for $5.99, I would’ve dropped it right back in my cart. At the time, Amazon listed it for well over $20 dollars so I bought it. I wasn’t actively seeking the Tales From The Crypt series, but Halloween is coming up and I figured even if I watch a couple of episodes it was worth the purchase.

Batman Tattoos

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It feels like every time I go to Target or Wal-Mart I wind up buying fake tattoos. Even though I’m an adult and have actual tattoos, for some reason I get sucked in by kids fake tattoos big time. Reason for falling into the fake tattoo trap is probably because I always loved fake tatts as a kid (what kid doesn’t like getting a fake tattoo?), plus they aren’t permanent, so if I want the Riddler AND Batman on my arm right next to each other, I can do that. Better yet, tonight I can finally pretend what it would be like to have a full sleeve of Batman tattoos. I didn’t even realize that some of these were glow in the dark a.k.a phosphorescent! Now I’m excited. I also just remembered that I have 2 packs of Justice League tattoos that I never opened. By the end of the night I may become the Lucky Diamond Rich of comic book circles.

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After opening the package I forgot what a project the fake tattoos are. The ritual that your parents went through to get the tattoo on you and the anticipation that overcame us is a memory a bunch of us have. I don’t really know anyone my age who has never had a fake tattoo applied to them as a kid. You should get some and act like a kid one night. Only thing is, if you’re deciding on getting a real tattoo, this isn’t a good indication of what it would be like to get one because there’s absolutely no pain involved, and these will probably peel off by the end of the night.
Little Debbie Pumpkin Delights

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Even though they are smiling, those are some pretty scary pumpkin faces
for what they consider a “cookie”

If there was a movie about my childhood, Little Debbie Snack Cakes would easily get free product placement. In our house growing up we had a huge, deep drawer that was aptly named “the snack drawer,” because we were so insanely clever. This drawer would always be crammed with all kinds of snacks that my sister and I could eat when we got home from school to hold us over until dinner time.
The snack drawer was a who’s who (or I should say what’s what) of ’80s snacks. The snacks were there as more of a safety precaution really. They prolonged me from literally becoming a raving lunatic who destroys anyone and anything obstructing my mission of maniacally seeking food. In other words, by time I got home from school I was starving. When I was a kid, being hungry was always so much more of a dramatic affair too. Don’t ask me why because looking back, school let out at 3:30 and it was only a couple of hours before that when I ate lunch. Nowadays I usually go 5 or 6 hours from lunch to dinner.

At any given time there would be Peanut Butter Boppers and various trendy snacks of the day, Drakes Funny Bones and Coffee Cakes, some really old Pixy Stix banished to the bottom rear, and then dominating the cavernous drawer were the Little Debbie products such as Swiss Rolls, Nutty Bars, Peanut Butter Bars, Oatmeal Cream Pies, Fudge Brownies, and Strawberry Shortcake Rolls. Reading this laundry list of snacks it sounds like we were the fattest fucks ever to walk the planet in the ’80s, but really my sister and I practiced self control. Most of the time we’d be limited to one of these snacks after school and we adhered to it.

Little Debbie is one of the companies who does an excellent job with “Fall-ifying” their offerings. Around September/October you start seeing these Pumpkin Delights, which actually are pretty delightful. They are considered a soft cookie and inside is pumpkin filling. The Pumpkin Delights have stiff competition though since Little Debbie also offers other gimmick items for the season like Bat Brownies, Brownie Pumpkins, and the ever popular Fall Party Cakes.

I hope you’re enjoying your Fall season so far. October is just a few days away so make sure to keep coming back to The Sexy Armpit for more of the Halloween countdown!