Sludge Central

The Ghastly Side of Boardwalk Empire: A Gallery

Posted on September 8, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Tonight is the Season 4 premiere of HBO’s incredible series Boardwalk Empire. Set in Atlantic City during the prohibition period, the superbly acted show brings you into the life of politician/gangster Nucky Thompson (Steve Buscemi). Often, his world isn’t as glamorous as you might think.

Such as with most of the shows on HBO, many beautiful women have starred in Boardwalk Empire such as Gretchen Mol, Aleksa Palladino, Kelly Mcdonald, and Heather Lind. The beauty ends there because most of the time, the show isn’t pretty. Brutal killing is common practice, so if you are faint-of-heart, you’ll be looking away often. Richard Harrow’s mangled face might also prove to be unsettling for you as well.

Events that take place in Boardwalk Empire can be considered shocking and gruesome so let’s take a look at the dark side of the show. I’ve scoured the Internet to bring you an array of ghastly, grotesque and downright creepy interpretations of some characters featured in Boardwalk Empire.

I own this piece – couldn’t resist getting it a while back:

via artist Steve Rolston on Deviant Art

I never knew it existed but it’s f*cking awesome: Pearl Cosplay! via RedChurippu on Deviant Art

This Richard Harrow mask has made the rounds all over the Internet thanks to one of my favorite artists Jon Defreest via the original Vulture link

Richard Harrow Fan Art via NastyNoser on Deviant Art

Phantom of the Boardwalk via Jhanquaza on Deviant Art

Ventriloquist dummies are almost ALWAYS creepy so here is Nelson Van Alden (a.k.a ZOD) as a ventriloquist dummy via artist Micro on Society 6

Thanks for checking out this post. Pay a visit to all the amazing artists featured here. I leave you with Van Alden’s eye bugging out. Your welcome.

http://www.hbo.com/boardwalk-empire/index.html

Mural Memories and Macabre Scenes in Middlesex NJ

Posted on September 7, 2013 by sexyarmpit

The store window of Ghouls Gags & Gifts, a Halloween costume shop, features masks of Jason, Vader, and Chewbacca in the window along with rental costumes of Dracula and Wonder Woman. A Thriller zombie dance is happening in the street while the Bride of Frankenstein looks like she’s heading into the store do some damage on her credit card.

The artist drew a happy fanboy from NJ reading Weird NJ and wore a Mezco Toys t-shirt

I’ve always been a big fan of hand painted wall murals. My Aunt and Uncle had several done in their house before I was born and they are still there ’til this day. I admire the shit out of them every time I visit. There’s something about artists applying their work directly to a wall of a place you live in everyday that evokes such a one of kind feeling in me. To a lesser degree it’s like a tattoo. This all depends on how good the artist is of course. My sister drew on her walls when she was a kid, and that’s certainly not the type of wall artwork that I had in mind. Her sloppy scrawling of “I love Jordan Knight” although memorable, is nothing compared to the interior wall art we’ll look at in this post. I appreciate wall murals most when the subject matter reflects the inhabitants’ vibe and personalities, such as at Ferraro’s Pizzeria and Pub in Middlesex, NJ.

I love how the trees seem like they are growing out of the mural and
the canopy fits right over the view of the inside of the cafe

Depending on the nature of the mural I tend to appreciate the kitsch factor. When there’s a lot of details to investigate I’ll wind up mesmerized. As I mentioned, the murals my Aunt and Uncle have in their place include a ’50s diner scene as well as a scene of the New York City skyline viewed from within Central Park. I have vivid memories of studying these as a kid. They seemed so grand and enormous in scale to me when I was young. In comparison to having Samantha Fox and LJN WWF action figure posters plastered all over my walls, a mural was serious business. A mural is actual art. It’s not a framed replica of art or a vintage movie poster. It’s much more permanent. If you get bored with a poster in a frame you can just remove it and slip another one in. This was the real deal – directly on the wall.

Elvira, Vampira, or non-descript Goth woman? Up to your imagination.

When I went with Miss Sexy Armpit to Ferraro’s for a birthday party for a dear friend a couple of years back, I wound up frozen in amazement once inside the party room. My eyes squinted while my head scanned the walls slowly back and forth to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Sure enough, there were these cool murals all over the walls. It not only gave the space a cozy atmosphere, but it was also kitschy without being tacky if that makes any sense. If the walls were all just one bland color, such as beige, the atmosphere would’ve been excruciatingly dull. These murals made being in the space feel like it was another dimension set apart from the rest of the restaurant. It’s not often a restaurant has such a conversation piece like this that distinguishes it from other places in the local area.

Girls Gone Wild Mardi Gras Edition Starring Slave Leia and Jabba The Hutt

The element of surprise also played a factor in my admiration for these murals. I can’t say I expected to see any of “my friends” on the walls of what I thought was a run of the mill Italian place. By friends I mean Elvira and Slave Leia. The murals were like an explosion of pop culture characters along with an infusion of local flavor. The murals feel like they come alive in certain aspects. I’ve held onto the pictures I took that night and have been meaning to post them during the last two Halloween Countdowns, but I kept forgetting that I had them. I hope you enjoy perusing them as much as I did. Check out the place if you’re in the area. The food is really good and they have some excellent liquid concoctions at the bar.

This isn’t so much scary as it is a bit perverse. You can’t see it, but the person opening the

towel is actually a dude. Just kidding. And the guy with the mirror/ping pong paddle has NO EYES! That part is true. That must have some deeper meaning.

Ferraro’s Pizzeria and Pub
275 Lincoln Blvd
Middlesex, NJ 08846

Friday the 13th Juice Boxes from The Holidaze!

Posted on September 6, 2013 by sexyarmpit

photo HolidazeHi-CHorror_zps3963e020.jpg

via http://the-holidaze.blogspot.com/2013/09/hi-c-horror-collection.html

Cliff from The Holidaze blog has created his own line of horror movie inspired Hi-C juice boxes. Since I’m a huge fan of the Friday the 13th franchise, and F13 is based in New Jersey, I wanted to share these with you. These are badass! Cliff did an awesome job with them. I LOVE the vintage Hi-C style box on the left that I grew up with as a kid. That one takes the color scheme of the Friday the 13th Nintendo game that was recently made into a highly collectible action figure. Check out more at The Holidaze via the link above.

A Clerks Dark Ride? A Bit of Disney In Leonardo, NJ

Posted on September 6, 2013 by sexyarmpit

In the first episode of the Clerks; The Animated Series titled “Leonardo Leonardo Returns and Dante Has an Important Decision To Make,” Billionaire Leonardo Leonardo makes his triumphant return to Leonardo, NJ and unveils his giant monument of consumerism, Leonardo Tower. Naturally, Jason Mewes thought the tower looked “like a big bong.”

L.L’s new tower is all part of his diabolical plan to turn the town of Leonardo into a “doomed pleasure resort town where the people of Leonardo will work underground as mindless slave drones and live off the crumbs of the rich…”

He strategically erected his new store the QuickER Stop right across the street from the real Quick Stop, nearly putting Dante and Randal’s livelihood in jeopardy. The original Quick Stop is about to go out of business, but fortunately, something good did come out of all this: Dante and Randal get the chance to go on a cool “dark ride” style tour of the new QuickER Stop.

As an homage to one of my favorite places on earth, Disney’s Haunted Mansion, Dante and Randal hop into a revolving Doom Buggy outfitted with a speaker to hear Leonardo’s braggadocios voice-guided tour. When the ride comes to the end, a ghostly greenish-blue apparition of Leonardo Leonardo appears in between Dante and Randal in their Doom Buggy!

After the tour of the QuickER Stop, the guys attempt to foil Leonardo’s master plan. On the way, they bat-climb up the Leonardo Tower only to encounter two doorways. One is a your average completely regular doorway while the other is the MAZE OF DEATH! Out of two options, the marginally intelligent clerks chose the MAZE OF DEATH! Mwahahahaaaa!

eBay Has Your NJ Zombie Hunting Permits

Posted on September 5, 2013 by sexyarmpit

You all better have your zombie hunting permits ready. It’s only a matter of weeks before literally all of New Jersey is taken over by zombies. I’m not kidding. In October we’re gonna have zombies down south in Atlantic City, and zombies up the Parkway in Asbury Park. Even though they are slow, they will begin to permeate neighborhoods. Considering the Guinness World Record for zombies will be broken this year, you better have your shit together. I listed the seller names of each one of these so you can look them up on eBay if you’re are so inclined.

If you’re seriously considering staying in Jersey when zombies roam the state, you might want to start getting prepared now. I’ve got you covered and did all the research for your ass. You’d think a local gun shop or even a town hall might be registering people for zombie hunting licenses, right? Actually no, in a surprising twist, eBay is your one stop shop for New Jersey zombie hunting permits. Once in a great while eBay does come through for something. I can’t guarantee they’re legit, but I can guarantee that you’ll seem either ever so slightly more skilled at killing zombies, or you’ll just look like a total dork with bullets whizzing passed your head. Who cares if they’re counterfeit anyway? What you really need is a badass gun, or enough guns to necessitate a rack if you catch my meaning.

If you want to seem more official to the oncoming zombies, then you might want to opt for the “State of New Jersey Certified Zombie Hunter embroidered patch.” From at least several feet away this one will make you look like you’re a decorated soldier or P.O.W (Probably Obsessed w/ Walking Dead.) Good luck out there. In the end, the zombies don’t give a crap what kind of patches or permits you have on.

Great Geek Gorge #9: Pumpkin Everything

Posted on September 3, 2013 by sexyarmpit

photo starbuckspumpkin01_zps432eec38.jpg

On Twitter a lot of my friends have been tweeting photos of stuff they are seeing in stores like Fall themed snack cakes and Monster cereals. Every year all I remember is saying to myself “Halloween, already? It’s still summertime!” Usually stores are overzealous and jump the gun by a few weeks. I’ve been to every damn grocery store around here and haven’t seen much of anything reflecting Halloween yet, aside from candy. At the time of this post, none of my local stores have Monster cereals on the shelves, while it seems like mostly everyone I know in other parts of the country has already been bragging about having multiple boxes of them for at least a week. Maybe we are jumping the gun? Ah, f*ck no. It’s never too early to start celebrating Halloween or the Fall season in general. It’s the best time of the year. Christmas is great and all, but it’s too damn cold up here in Jerz. The Halloween season is perfect and I’m hoping we get it’s weather and it’s goods sooner than later.

If you follow me on Instagram you know what I had this weekend. I waited all year for it and damn did it taste good! It was my first sip of pumpkin coffee from Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts this season. I indulged in both over the weekend. The Starbucks Pumpkin Latte is so far ahead of Dunkin Donuts’ Pumpkin coffee in terms of flavor. Starbucks pumpkin tastes like pumpkin pie and I don’t know if they’re actually murdering pumpkins out back to make this stuff or what, but it tastes awesome. I still feel a bit too anxious for fall to arrive though. The gross heat, humidity, and sick thunderstorms we’ve had here in Jersey this weekend makes Fall feel like it’s so far away.

I’ll be showing you a couple of things I did manage to find in a moment, but first, something I DIDN’T buy. Usually I buy two of everything regardless of knowing if it’s good or not. That’s a complete mistake because more than half the time, it usually sucks. I’m an easy target for gimmicky shit and limited edition crap, but this time I didn’t let myself get suckered.

Take pumpkin spice M&Ms for example. It’s not like I don’t enjoy M&M’s because, what’s not to like? They’re little pellets of chocolate covered in a colorful candy shell. They come alive as wide-eyed candy mascots on TV too. All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t ordinarily go out to purchase a bag of M&Ms. On a rare occasion I might get a craving for a fun sized pack of peanut M&Ms at a vending machine, but I’ve been burned many times on the full sized gimmick bags too many times.

Any time a new variety comes out like Peanut Butter or Coconut M&Ms, I’m usually disappointed. I wasn’t going to be seduced by a cute orange M&M dressed up like a pumpkin on the front of the bag leering at me in Target. As I picked up a bag of Pumpkin Spice M&Ms excitedly, I was overcome by dejavu, and then I threw them back on the shelf, and walked away proudly. Not before taking a picture of course. I’m sure they’re delicious, but I’ll never know because they don’t sell packs of just 3 M&Ms just for tasting purposes.

My best purchase so far isn’t what you’d think. When it comes to beer I don’t have expensive taste. I always prefer the middle of the road beers. I don’t enjoy ales or trendy microbrews. That said, I’ve spent the last few fall seasons buying literally cases of beer that went to waste because I wound up hating it. This year I was on an A-Team style mission. I visited all of my local liquor stores to find a pumpkin beer that I would enjoy the taste of and would bring to mind the flavors of the season. I realize that a lot of the seasonal pumpkin beers really work for many of you, they just aren’t for me. Drinking an ale makes me feel like I’m drinking bitter muddy water.

Since my taste preference is for the basic type of beer, I looked for a pumpkin lager, not an ale or IPA anything else that might exist. During a trip to the local Joe Canal’s, I found a 6-pack of Lakefront Pumpkin Lager and I was really excited. I brought it home and chilled it for a while. Later I cracked one open and was immediately smitten with the taste. It was exactly the pumpkin beer I was looking for, but where has it been all my life?

A little further investigation lead me to find out via the Lakefront Brewing website that it’s the ONLY pumpkin lager brewed in the WORLD. How the hell is this possible? If the highest selling beers in the country are the most basic beers that exist, why wouldn’t the pumpkin beers get a wide release in that same style? Who cares, I finally found what I was looking for, but what were the chances? If I never found this I would’ve kept looking for one seasonal style of beer that is nearly non-existent.

Miss Sexy Armpit and I each enjoyed one last night. The lager is brewed with pumpkin and spices and it’s definitely apparent. The consistency is smooth, and almost creamy for a lager. There’s not much effervescence and the head is minimal, but the aftertaste is amazing. It left a resounding pumpkin pie and spice flavor in my mouth. It’s one of the most enjoyable beers I’ve ever had. Snotty beer connoisseurs would scoff at this. Keep in mind that I am used to drinking typical lagers and pilsners, so if you are like me, then you’ll LOVE this. Now, onward!

Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts wasted NO time hitting store shelves. In fact, they were my first purchase for the Halloween season several weeks ago along with candy corn and mellocreme pumpkins. To me, Pop-Tarts are rarely bad unless they are some zany variety like Wildlicious Wild Berry, and yes that’s actually a real flavor. These have a decent pumpkin flavor and they come through to fill the void in your breakfast portion of your fall lineup. I’ve yet to try them toasted, but I imagine they would be even better. Some people think toasting a Pop-Tart is grounds for the death penalty, but not me. I reserve toasting for special occasions though, and by special occasions I mean when I’m not being too lazy to get the toaster out.

Next up, we have the Tazo Pumpkin Spice Chai Latte. Tazo is now a division of Starbucks and this one of their pre-made mix cartons that you can serve either hot or cold. I prefer to have it cold, which is not only tastier to me, but also easier to prepare. Just pour equal parts milk and the latte mix over ice and whammo – you have a cold Pumpkin Spice Latte. Definitely a nice addition to the barrage of pumpkin stuff hitting stores.

Out of all this stuff I’d easily say the Lakefront Pumpkin Lager was my favorite purchase and I recommend it to you. Thanks for stopping by and come back to The Sexy Armpit soon for more of the Halloween countdown festivities!

This Year’s Halloween Header Is Inspired By…

Posted on September 2, 2013 by sexyarmpit

photo AliceSweetAliceposter_zps62294247.png

For the past several Halloween countdowns I’ve created custom blog headers to enhance the celebration. Many of them have been parodies of horror film posters or inspired by things that remind me of the season. For example, I’ve parodied The Lost Boys poster, and last year I was inspired by Lodi, New Jersey’s own, The Misfits. This year I incorporated both horror and New Jersey. The source material is a bit obscure, but not to the horror maniacs out there.

Filmed in Paterson, NJ in 1976, the independent horror film Alice, Sweet Alice starring a young Brooke Shields inspired me this year. The creepy movie has a cult following amongst horror fans, but isn’t super well known otherwise. If you can get your hands on a copy, it’s definitely worth adding to your Halloween viewing agenda this season.

Click Here to Read The Sexy Armpit’s review of the film which features opinions of other horror bloggers as well.

Halloween 2013 Is Upon Us!

Posted on September 1, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Halloween 2013 has a nice ring to it.

Dinosaur Dracula officially ushered us into the Halloween season in a radical fashion at midnight last night. We have arrived, and I’m excited. As Matt at Dino Drac mentioned, we’ve got a while to go before the day we wait for all year. Ultimately, the most fun is in the build-up to October 31st, so let’s revel in it together. Please join me for a Sexy Armpit-style Halloween. This year will feature even more ghastly fun than ever before.

OK, here’s the situation. All throughout September, The Sexy Armpit will be all “Halloweeny,” and then beginning in October I have something extra special for you, and dare I say it, pretty different from what you are used to. I’ve been planning this for a couple of months and I’m hoping you enjoy it.

What I have up my sleeve for October is still not 100% complete, but I’m working on it each night. It’s more subtle and not the typical Halloween countdown material. If I buy something halloween-themed or I’m doing the usual stuff like that it will most likely be posted in September.

Since Halloween is so important to me and I’ve been taking part in the countdowns for a long time, it was time that I came to the party with a different approach, and it hasn’t been easy. I’ve ran into a lot of challenges along the way.

The season inspires me and I want it to reflect in the content I’m delivering here. It’s time for me to take things a bit more seriously and not just f*ck around. This is all very vague, I know. Hopefully it does pique your interest enough to want to come back and check out what I have planned for October 1st. It’s not as much of an in your face October from me as you might expect. After all, there’s only so many reviews of Pumpkin Spice Milk you can do. This October, I want to delve deeper into the season and bring you with me.

For those fellow bloggers reading this, be sure not to burn yourself out. If you’ve been doing the countdown thing for a long time, you know it’s not easy. We have a long stretch. Take a few days off once in a while. Most of us don’t get paid for this so make it fun. Don’t let it become your job. Check out everyone else’s blogs too because there’s clearly a lot of hard work that goes into them and it yields a lot of creativity and entertainment.

CHECK OUT THE BEST POSTS FROM HALLOWEEN 2012:

Christina Ricci – Garden State Playmate October 2012

The New Jersey Witch Trials?

Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers: Horror Movie Prequels from Blinky Productions

Eerie, Indiana’s New Jersey Connection

X-FILES: The Jersey Devil

Amityville House at Bargain Pricing

Podcast Challenge Accepted Captain Needa

Posted on August 30, 2013 by sexyarmpit

I’m gonna leave poor Captain Needa out of this since he really has nothing to do with it. OK, so, no one really challenged me to do anything, but I wanted to make it sound more intriguing to you. Being challenged sounds like it requires a lot of hard work to complete, but listening to various podcast episodes was not like climbing K2 I can assure you. I enjoyed discovering some new shows and I will tell you more about them in this post.

On my journey to expand my podcast listening palette, I realized I might have to temporarily forgo my typical shows in order to incorporate some new ones. One of my favorite podcast for the last few years has been The Nerdist, and they’re mega popular so they don’t need any more press or accolades. Same goes for Smodcast (Kevin Smith’s podcasting network) shows such as Fatman on Batman. Let me say that I love listening to those shows, but this week I felt the need to see what else I was missing. I felt like I might have been trapped in a podcasting bubble.

As stated many times before here at The Sexy Armpit, I’m like the Sy Sperling of the Nerd Lunch podcast. I’ve been a frequent “4th chair” guest on the show, but I’m also a fan. So, if you’ve been dragging your feet and still haven’t checked out their show, now is a great time to jump on. C.T, Pax, and Jeeg just celebrated their 100th episode that featured the return of former members of the show as well as clips and questions for various guests they’ve had on through their run such as myself. Just as a side note, in addition to a bunch of other episodes, I’m proud to say that I was on episode 69 DUDES!

In the process of looking for further podcasts to check out, I turned to the next logical option: The Cult Film Club Podcast. The CFC is hosted by Paxton Holley, Shawn Robare, and Jaime Hood all members of our stake of geekery on the Internet.

The crew gets into detail about films that may not usually get the spotlight such as one my favorite ’80s cult films, The Wraith and The Beastmaster. What I find most appealing about this show is that I usually walk away with some tiny bit of knowledge about a film that I may not have been aware of previously. Toward the end of their conversation they task each other to recast the films they are discussing which makes for a fun and interesting time. Between life, family, blogs of their own, and other projects, I have no idea how they keep up with it all. I suggest checking them out. They’ve got a really cool looking website and graphics. http://cultfilmclub.com/

Not sure how I could be completely unaware of one of the most popular horror podcasts around, but sometimes I’m pretty oblivious to things. Bloody Good Horror has a huge fan base and for good reason. These guys are good. They’ve been at it for so long and their crew has an awesome chemistry because they genuinely seem to be good friends. I’m not sure if they actually are, but it sure sounds that way. Coming from a dude like me who spent many years working in FM and AM radio, this show has a polished sound, from the bumpers to the beer suggestions. They let each other speak and the pacing never gets boring. Pick out a few of your favorite horror films, chances are they’ve done a show about some of them, and listen to one of the best horror podcasts available.

Other shows I checked out and enjoyed include UnderScoopFire Podcast, and He-Man.org’s Roast Gooble Dinner Podcast. As for famous people, I’m not going to gush over their shows because they have networks behind them throwing them wads of cash, but I avidly listen to Stone Cold Steve Austin’s show, Jay Mohr’s non-sports show, as well as many of Kevin Smith’s various podcasts.

Thank you for joining me to read about my podcast challenge. If you still haven’t made the jump to discovering the vast world of podcasts, get on it! There’s a lot of poorly produced crap out there, but there’s also some real high quality, independently produced shows that would love to gain new listeners. Head over to iTunes and subscribe to some of these shows now – they are FREE!

Why Jay Mohr Should Play The Riddler

Posted on August 30, 2013 by sexyarmpit

photo jaymohrtheriddler00_zps9f723291.jpg

Arkham City’s Riddler and Jay Mohr

http://www.jaymohr.com/

If you thought Ben Affleck playing Batman was weird, wait ’til you get a load of this. I think the Verona, NJ-born comedian Jay Mohr should play The Riddler. Yeah, not shitting you. If you can see beyond his dead-on-balls accurate Christopher Walken impressions, continue reading to see where I’m going with this.

Obviously there’s almost zero chance of seeing The Riddler appear in 2015’s Man of Steel 2, but down the road I think this would be such an unexpected casting win.

After looking at his film and TV career, you’d be surprised at how many different projects Mohr has taken on. He’s proven his comedic and dramatic acting chops, but more importantly, this is the type of role I could see him really getting into. As The Riddler, I see Mohr being able to infuse a multifaceted approach to the villain. Previously in the Bat-films, we haven’t really seen The Riddler get sadistic, or even sympathetic, and these are traits that Mohr would be able to deliver intensely on the big screen. Think about it, Jim Carrey was totally over the top and glammed out as The Riddler in Batman Forever, while The Riddler we saw in Batman: the Animated Series lacked any element of Carrey’s bombastic take on the character. We’ve yet to see a live action version of the Riddler depicted in the video game Arkham City, nor have we seen a live action take on The Riddler from 2004’s animated series, The Batman voiced by Robert Englund.

The Riddler in Arkham City can be obnoxious and narcissistic, two idiosyncrasies that Mohr is a bit of an expert at. In the TV series Ghost Whisperer, his character Professor Rick Payne has been described as annoying, abrasive, rude, yet still quite amusing. Mohr is also known for playing heelish characters in movies such as like Jerry McGuire, and Suicide Kings.

As an actor Mohr’s got a quirky sensibility, but he gives the impression that beyond his smart ass exterior, he’s somewhat dark and twisted. Alot of my reasoning for this left field casting choice comes from the element of his personality revealed in the 2000 slasher, Cherry Falls. Starring Garden State Playmate and one of my all time biggest crushes Brittany Murphy, Falls was marketed as another in a long line of Scream knockoffs, but when looking back on it, it actually was pretty original ahead of it’s time in some respects. The film dealt with gender themes as well as tinkering with horror tropes such as the intent to murder virgins rather than the typical promiscuous teenagers.

Cherry Falls gets a bad rap and I personally don’t know many fans of this film, but I dig it. Underrated isn’t quite the best description for the film, because I think if more people knew of it and saw it it would easily be more widely regarded as one of the better horror films to come out of the early 2000s – a time when tons of shitty horror movies were getting released. It’s not necessarily a “scary” film, but definitely kind of effed up. It was never released in theaters and had a bunch of issues with the MPAA. Entertainment Weekly gave it an A-. Dread Central said “…it remains an enjoyable example of post-Scream carnage – save for a terrible performance by Jay Mohr…”

If you could imagine The Riddler a bit more sick and twisted, either like the Arkham Riddler pictured above or even more like the Marilyn Manson-esque version in the 2004 animated series The Batman, Jay Mohr is the man for the job. Sure there will be an insane Batfleck style backlash on Twitter in the extremely minuscule chance it happens, but if we’re being told to believe in the proprietor of Fashionable Male as Batman, then is this such a stretch? What do you think?

*IMDB says that Mohr is a New York Jets fan, so he already has an affinity for green, which means we’re halfway there.