WATCH: “GET SLUDGEY TO THE STARLAND!”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1_mysYJMxA?rel=0]
The Sexy Armpit’s first appearance of Sludgey (played by Miss Sexy Armpit) and guest starring the Dirty Jersey Rockers Scarlet Carson. Sludgey was made by Puppatoons. Video was written, directed, and edited by The Sexy Armpit. Please watch it and LIKE it! If you think it’s funny send it to someone who might get a kick out of it. Thanks for your support! P.S: WATCH IN HD!!!
*Get your tickets for Scarlet Carson‘s CD release party on September 24th at Starland Ballroom in Sayreville via this link at Ticketmaster.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.58: Toy Story 3

Toy Story 3
Woody, Mr. Pricklepants, Buttercup, and Trixie in Toy Story 3
WOODY: “…Hey guys look I don’t know where I am!”
TRIXIE: “We’re either in a cafe in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey…”

I’m all for a company who milks their properties for all they are worth. Sometimes though, Disney really scrounges. For instance, I had no idea there was a third installment of Cinderella, let alone a sequel! Yes indeed, you can look it up for yourself, Cinderella 3: A Twist in Time went straight to DVD, and so did Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea. There’s also a Little Mermaid prequel, Peter Pan 2, Fox and the Hound 2, Lilo and Stitch 2, Tarzan 2, Mulan 2, Lady and the Tramp 2, Pocahontas 2, 101 Dalmations 2, and perhaps the most baffling…The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. Seriously? Journeying into Pixar territory we have Cars 2, and today’s movie: Toy Story 3.

When the original Toy Story was released in 1995, I thought it was an incredibly imaginative film, and I still do. The Toy Story franchise is one of those Godfather type instances where the sequel may actually be better than the original, or at least funnier. I never thought I’d see a follow up to TS2 10 years after the sequel was released, but leave it to Disney! While I still love TS2, part 3 was pretty friggin’ great also. 
Although I thought it was released too long after Toy Story 2, there were a couple of things I loved about Toy Story 3. First, the story continued in a perfect way. In case you haven’t seen it I won’t spoil too much, but I identified with the film because when I was a kid my Dad broke it to me that I was growing up and I needed to part with my toys because I wasn’t a kid anymore. We gave a lot of my toys and action figures to the local day camp – a catastrophic event that I’m sure a lot kids endured. It was pretty frigging devastating for me, but as we see in Toy Story 3, it’s more devastating for the toys! 
The casting of Michael Keaton as the Ken doll scored major points with me. The world always needs more Michael Keaton. I miss seeing him star in movies and we need him back in a big way. His voice role as Ken allowed him to go back to his comedy roots and really do what he does best. When I first watched the movie I wasn’t even aware that Keaton was going to be the voice of Ken so it was a cool surprise. There’s nothing like hearing Michael Keaton play one of the most famous dolls of all time. He plays Ken very vain, but with a wink. He brags about his dream house having an entire room just for trying on clothes and compliments Barbie on how much he loves her legwarmers. I’ll tell you one thing: Taylor Lautner couldn’t have pulled that off!

Toy Story 3 is streaming on Netflix now!

When Push Comes To Shove: WARRIOR – Review by Nick Holden

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The Sexy Armpit’s featured writer Nick “N.J” Holden is back! Here’s his review of WARRIOR, a film featuring scenes filmed in Atlantic City as well as Tom Hardy a.k.a BANE in Dark Knight Rises!

You know what a crowd-pleaser is? Sure you do, when a movie makes the audience happy, such as when Daniel LaRusso rose up to kick uber-bully John Norris into the next world in The Karate Kid (the 1984 version, not the lame-ass remake) or when T.S. finally won Brandy’s heart in Mallrats (with a little assistance from good buddy Brodie). Both movies told simple stories and relied on the strength of the characters to push everything forward, and in some cases, made the film memorable despite plot holes and typical Hollywood clichés. The new film Warrior is a throwback to the crowd-pleaser, and while it won’t score points for originality, it makes up tremendously in character and brutal, but not gratuitous, martial arts action.

Brendan Conlon (Joel Edgerton) is a former mixed martial artist turned teacher who is faced with overwhelming debt that threatens to leave him and his family homeless. Long estranged from his father (Nick Nolte), a former alcoholic boxer, he soon finds himself competing in small independent venues until he sees the brass ring; Sparta, an elimination-style tournament in Atlantic City that could help him avoid financial disaster. On the other side of the spectrum is his younger brother Tommy (Tom Hardy), a former Marine running from his past who turns to his father to help him train for Sparta. Eventually, after several violent battles, the brothers find themselves facing each other in the main event amidst much tension and family drama.

Basically, it’s Rocky meets The Fighter, only set in the world of MMA, fitting since it has exploded all over due to the popularity of Ultimate Fighting Championship, or UFC, Strikeforce, and other promotions all over the world. Actors Edgerton and Hardy completely immerse themselves into their roles by bulking up (especially Hardy, who looks like a smaller version of The Hulk) and undergoing extensive martial arts training for the film’s numerous fight scenes. Also appearing in smaller roles are real-life fighters Nate “The Great” Marquardt, Erik Apple, and Anthony Johnson, giving the film an authentic feel. The appearance of TNA wrestler Kurt Angle as an invincible Russian fighter (shades of MMA superstar Fedor Emelianenko) seems a tad cartoonish, but the showdown between him and Brendan is one ferocious battle to be seen on film. Nick Nolte does an admirable job as the absentee father who tries to reconnect with both sons, but finds himself at odds with his own demons.

Mostly set in Pennsylvania, the film’s conclusion takes place in New Jersey’s own den of sin, Atlantic City. One of the more memorable takes place in the dead of night on the shores of NJ, when both brothers have a powerful reunion, with each man not sure of the other’s motives or if their fractured family will survive their in-cage encounter. A strength in Warrior is the focus on the individual above all else; there are no real villains that stand in the way of the brothers’ quest for glory, only their own pasts. Brendan struggles with trying to decide if he really has what it takes to go all the way and take home the ultimate prize. Tommy is running from his past and, while begrudgingly trains under his father, tries to make up for his own misgivings as a son and soldier. 

The film does have its flaws, however. It runs a tad too long (a hair over two hours) and the conclusion does leave many unanswered questions as to where the family stands after the final fight. It also has the clichés we’ve seen before; the principal who is against Brendan, then cheers him on, Brendan’s students all rallying for him, and montages of the training regiments. But if you’re into a crowd-pleaser on a nice weekend night or a fan of MMA, then Warrior is a nice breath of air; not fresh air, but good air nonetheless.

A Little Bit of Jersey in Disney World

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photo from 2719 Hyperion

Since I just returned from a trip to Disney World, this is a perfect time to take a look at a very random Disney/Jersey connection. I found it a few months back while absorbing the posts of the 2719 Hyperion blog which deals in all facets of Disney. In one of their Vintage Snapshot posts by Jeffrey Pepper in June 2011, an old photo of a crate reveals that The Sexy Armpit wasn’t the only bit of Jersey in Walt Disney World.

If you aren’t familiar with the Imagineers, they are the bright folks who design the attractions and use psychology to formulate minute details around the Disney theme parks that make the experience so awesome. Occasionally, as Jeff Pepper mentions in his post Vintage Snapshot! – Early Crate Parkeology, the Imagineers like to label random items around the park with Disney references and even little inside jokes. As if there aren’t enough Hidden Mickey’s and other secrets to search for around the park, crates are apparently another popular item to look out for.
The photo above, provided by 2719 Hyperion, shows two crates on the Jungle Cruise circa 1972. Visible in the photo are two addresses written on each crate. The crate on the left says it belongs to Leon Okerman who has an Orange, NJ street address – one that doesn’t even exist on Google maps. I can’t really make out what it says under the address except for the word PAINT in all uppercase letters. The crate on the right is for R.H Jeschke and has an Atlanta GA address that doesn’t exist either. 2719 Hyperion posed the question as to whether this was actually another one of the Imagineers inside jokes or did these two people actually exist? Just another little mystery in Disney World! 

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 83: Sons of Anarchy NJ

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SOA T-Shirt in a store on the Atlantic City Boardwalk

Although fictional, the Sons of Anarchy may very well be the first thing that pops into your head when asked to name a motorcycle club. Sure, the Hells Angels are probably the most recognizable, but the Sons of Anarchy are about to embark on their 4th season of their own show tonight on FX.

SOA are based in California but they also have chapters all over the U.S and around the world. Members of this outlaw motorcycle gang are recognized by the logo on their vest. The logo is white on black and depicts a grim reaper holding a scythe with an M16 handle and crystal ball showing the anarchy symbol. The various regional chapters are cited under the logo and this one is from the New Jersey chapter of the SOA.

The existence of a New Jersey chapter may be the idea of the show’s creator, executive producer, and full blooded Jersey guy, Kurt Sutter. A graduate of Rutgers University, Sutter was also a writer on FX’s “The Shield.” Sutter has proven his versatility by serving as writer, actor, director, and producer on both The Shield and his own creation, Sons of Anarchy. In real life, Sutter is married to Katey Sagal (Peggy Bundy) who also plays Gemma on the show. According to his IMDB profile, he’s got pediophobia, which means he’s scared of dolls.

Sutter grew up in Clark NJ watching a lot of cartoons and told reporter Linda Moss in an interview on New Jersey News Room, that he learned “the essentials of storytelling from Hanna Barbera.” You can watch the premiere of Sons of Anarchy tonight at 10pm on FX!

Follow Kurt Sutter on Twitter and check out his blog!

Jon Bon Jovi Does Not Work For Me

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gFlfuqcsF0?rel=0]
Surprisingly “Work For The Working Man” sucks only a little bit less than the rest of the tracks on Bon Jovi’s latest effort The Circle. The second I heard this blah medium paced rocker previous to it’s release in late 2009, it’s lyrics struck me as ironic coming from an obscenely wealthy music icon. I’m a working man and Jon Bon Jovi sure as hell doesn’t work for me, otherwise he’d still be recording songs that make me jump out of my chair and play air guitar in front of my mirror.
Jon Bon Jovi’s limp songwriting as of late is partly because in the past several years he’s been too concerned with being an entrepreneur and hosting political galas to be a real rock star. Why concentrate on writing kickass songs when there’s hobnobbing to do, hands to shake, pockets to fill, and horned up wives to flirt with? Rock stars always boast that there’s no better job in the world than to play their music in front of crowds on a nightly basis. Sure, being a successful musician or rock star is lucrative, and as you know, offers a lot of tremendous fringe benefits. So why is this guy singing about losing his pension and having to work 2 jobs just to get by?
Jon Bon Jovi’s net worth is estimated to be in the same range of the number of records his band has sold: 100 million. Listening to Jon sing lyrics that question “Who’s gonna work for the working man?” is ridiculous. Jon brazenly announces that he’s “here trying to make a living” in the first line of the song. It’s a warm and fuzzy sentiment, but really just a futile attempt at appealing to the hard working average middle class citizen – the very group of people responsible for igniting the band to fame in early ’80s New Jersey. Most of them aren’t rock stars, but some did take a crack at it after seeing him make it big. Where are they now? Probably looking to be interviewed by The Sexy Armpit.
Jon Bon Jovi may have grown up in middle class suburban Sayreville, New Jersey, but it wasn’t very long before Bon Jovi’s hit records started making them millions. Oh, the woes of having a family and trying to make ends meet on a one hundred million dollar budget! I know Jon, it must be a real challenge to get those utility bills paid at the end of the month when dealing with such a meager salary. I hear the Bon Jovi clan may even have to skip Christmas this year. You know, sometimes I have $9 dollars left in my account when I’m done paying bills? Look out, airing on E! Network soon, Jay’s True New Jersey Story
Talk about Captain Crash, more like Captain Obvious! Themes such as the economy, unemployment lines, and government involvement are as easily detectable in the song as the moments in concert when Jon’s about to twinkle his spirit fingers. You can see them coming from 7800 miles away. The song’s clunky title, awkward chorus, and political theme fail to unite with the run of the mill Jovi musical background. Which reminds me about an old story. Once upon a time…not so long ago, Bon Jovi sang a song about a working class couple. Although “Work” shares a similar chugging musical intro that recalls their signature song “Livin’ On A Prayer,” their hopes to evoke the same emotions as “Prayer” has for the last 25 years were squashed.
John F. Kennedy’s Inaugrual Address in 1961 included his famous call to action “…ask what you can do for your country.” Essentially, Jon lyrics stand behind Americans who work their asses off every day and are still getting screwed. Now it’s the governments turn to help the people out a little bit, and no matter your political beliefs, that’s not a bad idea that Jon has. The bigger issue here is why he and his guitar slinger Richie Sambora couldn’t turn these passionate sentiments into a huge walloping rock song with an indelible chorus that doesn’t merely ask a question, but instead commands results. Rock music needs to resist and challenge the status quo, but unfortunately Bon Jovi’s “Work” output is too sluggish to be taken seriously.

Straight No Chaser at Harrah’s in Atlantic City

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E8znrSgxqM?rel=0]

Rock, metal, pop, new wave, I enjoy it all, except for a capella. It’s not like I loathe a capella music, it’s more of the fact that I’d rather just hear songs the way they were originally recorded. So, it was ironic that for the past couple of years there’s been an ongoing joke I’ve had with Miss Sexy Armpit about the a capella band Straight No Chaser. I knew nothing about these guys except for the fact that they were appearing every damn place I went. If I was walking down a hallway, leaning up against a wall, or surfing the net, I would somehow encounter Straight No Chaser, without fail, especially while in Atlantic City.

You can’t really go anywhere in A.C without hearing this group mentioned. I grew so sick of hearing about them that I started working them into everything I said to point out how ludicrous their name sounded. Soon I met up with one of my best friends for pizza (Sciortino’s if you’re wondering) and he started gushing about how amazing this singing group was who he saw perform in Atlantic City a few weeks prior. Of course, it was Straight No Chaser which made me laugh. I couldn’t escape these guys! I still wasn’t sold. 
On top of all that, Miss Armpit informed me that she got us a couple of tickets to their Back To The Shore concert at Harrah’s during Labor Day weekend. I appeased her and said “I’ll go,” even though I was less than enthusiastic about it. Fast forward a day or two later and even my parents came home from a weekend trip to A.C totally raving about the time they had at a recent Straight No Chaser show. I needed to check these guys out to see what all the fuss was about.

SNC are an all dude a capella group from Indiana who have tremendous voices and harmonize flawlessly. They perform a wide range of cover songs, all of which you are familiar with, from pop songs to TV theme songs. The band recreates all the vocals, background music, and sounds you hear in the original song purely using their voices. Now I’m trusting all the high praise that I’ve heard about them and looking forward to the show! Tickets are available at the link above.

Here’s SNC live in A.C with medley’s of BRUCE and Bon Jovi courtesy of YouTuber DaisyKary:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lPBWPbHr00?rel=0]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WeithIkKRQ?rel=0]

Futurama’s Got Jokes 2

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Jersey is again the punchline of a joke in a Futurama episode. Fry and Bender decide to become roommates in “I, Roommate,” episode 3 of season 1 which originally aired in April of 1999.

It’s decided by the group that Fry has to move out since he’s being a slob and fouling up the business. They have no choice but to kick him out. After Fry moves into Bender’s apartment that’s as small as a closet, they set out on a search for a new apartment for the both of them.
During a montage of clips showing the duo’s quest for a new place to live, we see them go through all kinds of weird places including one apartment that turned out to be an MC Escher painting come to life. 
But the moment Fry visits an apartment that looks suspiciously perfect, he’s in disbelief as the realtor shows them around.

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FRY: “Well I give up…what’s the catch?”
REALTOR: “Oh, no catch, although we are technically in New Jersey.”
Immediately after seeing the New Jersey apartment he was convinced they exhausted all their options. Fry determines that he hasn’t looked at “one place even remotely livable.” Eventually, the odd pair are able to move into the apartment of one of Professor Farnsworth’s recently deceased colleagues.