Laura Prepon is August’s Garden State Playmate!

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“Pardon me, would you have any Grey Prepon?” What are the chances that actress Laura Prepon got that about once a day as a kid living in Watchung, NJ? You might say the chances are extremely low that someone would say something that supremely lame, even a kid. Although, you might think differently when you find out that Watchung is a pretty well-to-do town and it’s very common for inhabitants of those types of places to have an affinity for gourmet mustard puns. Fortunately, it seems that the condiment related harassment that quite possibly ruined her childhood didn’t have any effect on her acting career. Or did it? Prepon is still working so that’s a good sign.

Apparently there’s a small group of Prepon detractors out there who like to make their passionate hatred for the actress abundantly clear. One of those guys is “parlance-263-43691,” who, in an IMDB review, felt strongly enough to rant about her performance in the short lived Chelsea Handler (former Garden State Playmate) inspired show, Are You There, Chelsea?

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She may not be the most versatile actress, but I don’t think she’s as awful at comedy as this guy claims: “Where do I begin? Laura Prepon couldn’t act her way out of a box; the timing and delivery of whatever comedic value there is in the writing is completely lost when it falls limply out of her mouth.”

Even if she was the worst actress of all time, would you ever would go out of your way to write and post a review on how miserable of an actress she is on IMDB? It’s true that actors put themselves out there and become vulnerable to online punishment, but I don’t think Laura Prepon is so bad that she deserves to be ruined on IMDB. That said, people should have a little bit of sympathy for her considering the lifetime of heartache she went through with that damn mustard joke. It drove her straight into Scientology.

At 5’10” she’s a tall drink of water and I wouldn’t recommend messing with her in a woman’s prison, if you’re ever in one with her that is, or if you’re near a TV when she’s on it and in prison. I’ve never seen Orange is the New Black and even though I’ve heard it’s getting good reviews I probably won’t be investing my time in it since my viewing schedule is booked up through my death. In the Netflix original series, Prepon plays Alex Vause, a lesbian and fomer drug dealer. Recent news stories covering her possible departure from the show have caused quite a stir. The rumors range from monetary disputes to the possibility that her character may get killed off and the producers want to keep it under wraps.

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Pictured here in a 3-way kiss as Reanna in the 2002 comedy Slackers. I remember seeing this in the theater and the best parts included Prepon trying to have some “alone time” and of course Jason Schwartzman being highly entertaining as Cool Ethan. 

Prepon also appeared on a few short lived TV shows, one off roles, and also landed a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother. In addition to her on-screen roles, she voiced characters in the animated series American Dad and the video game Halo 2. None of that can come close to the character I first saw her play. She will ALWAYS be Eric’s girlfriend Donna Pinciotti from That ’70s Show. That show was a huge part of my life for its entire run, except for a few episodes toward the end. You may remember her as Hot Donna. How about some pricey mustard to slather on that Hot Donna of yours?

www.SexyArmpit.com

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments 76: Rules of Engagement in A.C

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Rules of Engagement
Jeff and his friends winning at a blackjack table 
while their friend Timmy is supposedly bringing them good luck.
I find it to be a challenge to keep up with sitcoms. Every Fall season I see one or two commercials for a new show that I get geared up for, and then, after I watch two episodes, my attraction for them usually fizzles out. Rarely, there’s one that I get really into. Rules of Engagement wasn’t one of them. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy the particular episode that we’ll be looking at in this post though. Actually, it was mildly amusing and moderately memorable. To be honest, I’d probably be writing that it was completely forgettable if the action of this specific episode didn’t happen in one of The Sexy Armpit’s favorite places, Atlantic City, NJ.

If you’ve never seen an episode of Rules of Engagement, here’s the quick IMDB synopsis:

“Two couples and their single friend, all at different stages in their relationships, deal with the complications of dating, commitment and marriage.”

The recently cancelled Rules centers around Jeff (Patrick Warburton) a financial manager who claims he buys socks in New Jersey to avoid paying additional tax on them, and his wife of several years, Audrey (Megyn Price), an editor at Indoor Living magazine.

The show is set in New York. Exactly what part of New York is beyond me. Jeff loves New York sports teams, so it seems like they probably live in a nondescript part of Manhattan, especially since his wife works for a magazine which is likely located in the city. In this episode, everyone wound up about 130 some odd miles away in A.C…at the Taj Mahal to be exact.

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In Season 4 episode 3, “Atlantic City,” Jeff is heading down to A.C for a bachelor party, but the plans get squashed after he finds out that the bride has decided to dump the groom at the last minute. Jeff and his friends soldier on because they want to party despite the wedding plans being cancelled. Jeff opts not to inform Audrey about the non-existent bachelor party, but she winds up finding out anyway when she sees the former groom at a local cafe and confronts him.

Rather than sit home and take care of her annoying Aunt Judy, Audrey coerces her friend Jennifer into heading down to Atlantic City along with her, using the enticing offer of a free spa weekend as bait. Her plan is to get Jeff back for lying to her.

Soon, Jeff finds out that Aunt Judy cancelled her visit with Audrey, so for the rest of the episode the two of them make phone calls to each other featuring Aunt Judy impressions, fake doctors, and anything else that would keep up each others lies. Neither of them give up the battle, which is how Miss Sexy Armpit and I would probably act in a situation like this.

This was a decent episode, and I checked out a few others to get a better feel for the show. It’s not a classic show, but it’s fun for what it is. I enjoyed Patrick Warburton’s dry delivery and his chemistry with Megyn Price. They’re certainly not written to be the typical TV couple because they share a more realistic, imperfect relationship.

Rules occasionally whips out some pretty snappy dialogue also:
Russell: “Look If I wanted sex with strings attached, I’d bang a marionette.”
Timmy: “Now there’s a puppet show you don’t want the kids to see.”

Presently, you can watch Rules of Engagement streaming on Netflix also starring David Spade, Oliver Hudson, and Bianca Kajlich.

www.SexyArmpit.com

First Openly Gay WWE Star Hails From New Jersey

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Darren Young coming out seemed like a shock to the wrestling world, but it really wasn’t. Many of the WWE Superstars were well aware that one half of the Prime Time Players was gay and it didn’t change his position in the company either way. In fact, it may even give his career a big boost.

The story broke recently via TMZ, as all these tabloid stories usually do. Even though Young has been with WWE since signing with NXT in 2009, he’s still a relative newcomer to the big time. And now, for reasons beyond his in-ring ability, people are becoming familiar with his name. Just last night on Monday Night Raw, Young was prominently featured in a tag-team match.

Although billed from Miami, Florida, Young, whose real name is Fred Rosser, was born in Union, NJ and began his wrestling career at IWF in West Paterson, New Jersey. After several years of wrestling on the indy circuit, Rosser signed with WWE developmental. The NXT rookie was mentored by CM Punk and soon after Darren Young appeared on WWE TV as part of the brash Nexus faction.

Young was even referred to as the black John Cena by some fans. He had the right look and physique and would’ve gotten a push, but I’d wager to say that Young wouldn’t have announced he was gay if he felt it would be detrimental to his success within WWE. If anything, revealing his personal sexual preference has only brought him more notoriety. In some ways this seemed like a strategic business move – one that was probably passed through the corporate hierarchy in WWE before Young broke the news to TMZ.

Can’t you just see Vince McMahon’s reaction if he was opposed to Young coming out while still on the active roster? It probably wouldn’t be long before Young heard that famous growl:”You’re FIIRRRREEED.”

If Young did in fact make the announcement on his own, without WWE’s knowledge, I give him credit for being brave. Either way, WWE would be accused of sexism and discrimination if they retaliated against him in any way, or worse, let him go for making the announcement without their knowledge. As supporters of their Be a Star bullying campaign, WWE would look like super hypocrites.

Never put it passed WWE to see dollar signs in Young’s courageous admission. In our diverse culture, sexual preferences shouldn’t make a difference, but in the wrestling world there’s been several gay wrestlers through the years who kept it to themselves. For some of those WWE Superstars their decision for it to remain a secret had a lot to do with personal reasons, the views on sexuality in the country, or for others, it was the fear of losing their highly sought after position in the company.

If WWE approves of Cameron from the Funkadactyls discussing her option to get breast implants on Total Divas to show that not all women need to have them, WWE may have even encouraged Young to come out to exploit the fact that they are a non-discriminatory company to work for. After hearing of all the wrestlers dying WWE needs as much ammunition to tout as they can get.

www.SexyArmpit.com

Dawn of the Mallrats and Zombie Clerks

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“Dawn of the Mallrats” by Chris Ott
“You’re dead Mallrat” isn’t just a line in the movie anymore.
Nowadays it seems like everybody wants to be a zombie, walk like a zombie in a parade, or make zombie parody art, which leads us to today’s entry.
When checking out the London 1888 online store after picking up one of their shirts over the weekend at Monster Mania, I also noticed artist Chris Ott’s love for Kevin Smith.
“Dawn of the Mallrats” is a faithful mash-up print of Dawn of the Dead and Mallrats. The connection here, of course, is that monument of consumerism, a mall, actually, let me rephrase that – THEE MALL.
When it was released in theaters in ’95, Mallrats was my ultimate movie. You could imagine how a Jersey teenager who spent a lot of time at the mall, loved Clerks, and wanted to be a filmmaker like Kevin Smith, would latch on to a film like Mallrats so hard, especially considering that I lived about a thousand feet from two of the most popular malls in the state. One of which just happens to be the mall that has a truly convincing Easter Bunny.
In the artwork Brody and TS haven’t been inflicted yet, but we see that Jay and Silent Bob, Shannon, Gwen, William, that d-bag Mr. Svenning, and even Stan Lee are all full fledged undead. Even with just a quick glance you can see that Ott really paid attention to details. Clearly, William’s eye bugged out, quite possibly from staring at the magic eye picture of that sailboat too long…or was it a schooner?
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Christ Ott’s Zombie Clerks print: http://london1888.bigcartel.com/product/clerks
 
Also check out Chris Ott’s zombified Clerks print. The gang is all here out in front of the Quick Stop in Leonardo, NJ! Awesome stuff Chris!
www.SexyArmpit.com

Mother F’N Monster Mania Recap August 2013

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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The 3 Ts of Monster Mania. sTop buying more shiT you money wasTer.
I don’t need anymore fucking t-shirts. Seriously. I have about 450 damn t-shirts. I’ve written about t-shirts over a hundred times at this blog. I wear one every single day. But did I really need to buy 3 more of them? Read on my friends as I answer that burning question as well as give you a quick recap of the Monster Mania convention that went on in Cherry Hill, NJ this weekend.

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Friday the 13th Blood-splattered Lunchbox

Many people who go to conventions like Monster Mania go with an objective. Within the last couple of years they’ve become very routine to me and I’ve been heading there just to browse and meet up with friends to shoot the shit for a while. Usually there’s at least one thing that I’d like to pick up. Sometimes it’s a DVD and rarely there’s a lower tier celebrity appearing who I have a very specific question for. This past weekend became a ridiculous impromptu party with Dino Drac, Freddy in Space, and myself, but I’ll let Dinosaur Dracula do what he does best as he explains that one right here at this link.

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Random sculpture of Hollywood Hulk Hogan’s skeleton still putting himself over in the afterlife

Anyway, what do I always wind up buying? T-shirts. Always t-shirts. My life is consumed by them. It’s a love/hate relationship. This time around I came home with 3. What’s even more insane is that I was flirting with the idea of buying 2 others! That would’ve been 5 shirts in one Monster Mania con.

The first shirt was devised by Shit Movie Fest and Curious Goods, with art by London 1888 and I picked it up for a reason. “Where’s the Fucking Bourbon” is a line from Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3 and it never fails to amuse me. I read last year that the aforementioned crew was making this tee and I thought it was an awesome idea, but par for the course, I forgot all about it. Luckily, they had some left when I stopped by their setup this weekend.

Next up is the incredible tee from Electric Zombie. Lots of old school WWF inspiration over there. Check out their awesome horror related art. This tee called “Camper” has a hottie backpacking through the woods near Camp Crystal Lake. Notice the Jason mask hanging off the backpack. This is just a sampling of the kick ass creations they were offering. I really wanted to buy more, but I had to stop myself.

And finally, I supported our monstrous friends, The Ghouligans with their logo shirt. They have new episodes on the way so stop by their official site.

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Killer Workout from VHSPS

In the DVD department, I stopped by the VHSPS store and picked up the ridiculous cheese-fest known as Killer Workout a.k.a Aerobicide which was recommended to me by @thedarkhours from KillerReviews.com. This tweet of mine made him aware that this sort of thing IS my bag baby. By the way…this movie is so fucking AWFUL.

This installment of Monster Mania exceeded my expectations for reasons other than the crap that I brought home with me. Like I said – check out Dinosaur Dracula’s run down of all the insanity that went on there.

www.SexyArmpit.com

Do The Hustle…The American Hustle!

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk3Bzss8hYI?rel=0]

I’m already doing the hustle for American Hustle. All I can say is HOLY SHIT I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE. Is it Christian Bale’s already killer performance that’s grabbing me? Is it the Zeppelin music bed that does it? Is it Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence looking HOT? All of the above actually. The Jersey aspect is merely icing on the cake. Clearly hyperbole, but I am obsessed with this movie already.

Summary straight from IMDB:

“The Story of a con artist and his partner in crime, who were forced to work with a federal agent to turn the tables on other cons, mobsters, and politicians – namely, the volatile mayor of impoverished Camden, New Jersey.”

Directed by David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook) and featuring a tremendous ensemble cast including the aforementioned actors, as well as Brad Cooper, Louis C.K and Jeremy Renner, American Hustle may be the movie of the year. It hits theaters in December and I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets a few Oscar noms. Jennifer Lawrence for best hair, Amy Adams for hottest bathing attire, and Christian Bale for best Welch man doing a Bronx accent.

One of the first comments on YouTube under this trailer insists that this is going to be one of those movies that casts a bunch of great actors, but the movie turns out to be crap. There’s always a possibility of that, but this was after he pleaded to get Amy Adams naked in a movie. Whoa there buddy…that’s Princess Giselle AND Lois Lane you’re talking about here! She’s no Lindsay Lohan who’s desperately displaying her stuff to the entire world in The Canyons in hopes of resurrecting her career. Adams is on a whole other level and she just seems to be climbing higher with each role she takes on.

If you’ve seen David O. Russell’s previous films, you know you’re in for a treat. If you aren’t familiar with his films, at the very least, check out The Fighter, an amazing film that truly showcases Christian Bale’s depth as an actor. More recently though, Silver Linings Playbook is possibly the most finely acted film I’ve seen in years. As many directors tend to do, Russell likes to cast his usual team of actors in his films. In this case, it’s combining key cast members from both Silver Linings and The Fighter which can only equal good things. 

www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 109: Dunkin’ Donuts Rebuild NJ

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RebuilDD NJ T-Shirt available at Dunkin’ Donuts
The weekend shore traffic on the Garden State Parkway is just as busy as it is every summer. It’s apparent that the damage from “superstorm” Sandy hasn’t deterred people flocking from all over to experience their summer excursions to the Jersey Shore. All the stuff you hear that people from Jersey are “resilient,” is not just the news trying to be dramatic – it’s true. Same goes for the tri-state area. You may encounter snobbery in L.A, and southern hospitality in Tennessee, but you will not encounter quite the exact same never say die attitude that we have here.

Between the bumper stickers and the t-shirts it seems that Sandy got a lot more press than it deserved, and it’s STILL happening. The worst part is, not all of the profits from merch sales are going to beneift the victims of the storm. I like to assume that the ones that are on the level are donating at least a percentage of the profits to people who lost everything in the devastating hurricane.

I haven’t been frequenting Dunkin Donuts lately, but the past few times I did happen to stop in before work, I noticed this “Rebuildd NJ” t-shirt for sale. It’s good to see Dunkin’ Donuts is showing their support for NJ, especially since there’s one around every damn corner here. Let’s just hope the profits don’t go to opening the new franchises they have opening up in California soon.

Check out another NJ/Dunkin Donuts related post:
www.SexyArmpit.com

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments 75: The Super Friends!

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After popping in the Super Friends DVD “A Dangerous Fate,” I was surprised at how ridiculous some of the episodes were. When I was a kid, this show was my ultimate weekly cartoon viewing. It was certainly a different time for superheroes, but ever since extreme realism and darker themes took over the DC Universe, it’s hard to look at these old cartoons the same way. It sucks to say “old cartoons,” but it’s true, the Super Friends comprised my earliest Saturday mornings, and I have no regrets. I have most of the Super Friends official DVD releases, and once in a while I throw one in and watch a few episodes. It turns out that the episode I watched over the weekend had a little surprise for me.

“Elevator to Nowhere” from season 6 aired on September 27, 1980 and featured a team-up of Wonder Woman and The Atom. The events of this episode make it very clear that the Super Friends were easy marks and they allowed themselves to get scammed by villains all the time. If you’re a diabolical villain, luring any combination of Super Friends members into your lair or demonic device was not particularly difficult by any means and by that I mean it was like convincing a young child to calm down by giving them candy or balloons.

After hearing a message left on their emergency scanner, Wonder Woman and The Atom are “streaking” across the city in her invisible jet. They arrive at the lab of a scientist named Dr. Wells. (I wonder if that was Pamela Wells father?) The Atom was noticeably perturbed that he had to wake up in the middle of the night for this and he let Wells know about it. Why though? Isn’t he used to getting woken up in the middle of the night to save citizens from near disasters and fight off super-villains with his buddies?

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Washington Crossing the Delaware and finds those foreign spies 
Wonder Woman and The Atom in Trenton, NJ

Within about 30 seconds things get very TOP SECRET. And no, I’m not referring to the Val Kilmer movie. While in Dr. Well’s TOP SECRET underground lair, our heroes inadvertently waltz into a TOP SECRET time machine in the form of an elevator, which is still top secret thus far. Very coincidental that both happen to be top secret. This was nearly 20 years prior to Dr. Evil from Austin Powers mind you.

This is the moment where I was thinking “Wouldn’t it really be something if they end up in New Jersey somehow? Nah, that would never happen.” I just started getting a feeling. And sure enough, moments later, Wonder Woman pressed a button in the time elevator and accidentally activated it and sent them to Trenton, New Jersey in December of 1776 – the middle of the Revolutionary War. As you probably know, New Jersey was a major hub of activity during the war and General Washington spent much time in various places around the state.

Wonder Woman and her tiny pal are mistaken for foreign spies and arrested by the Continental Army – a fact that must’ve been conveniently overlooked in our history books. They are brought to General Washington so he could decide their fate and it’s here that The Atom gives him the idea that he’s going to be President. Just like the scene where Marty tells Goldie Wilson that he’s going to be Mayor of Hill Valley! At this point things get a little half assed. They get back to the elevator which sends them onto a Spanish galleon in the late 1600s where they meet a pirate, and then they encounter some dinosaurs as they head even further back to 70 million years BC to nab Wells.

Overall, this short episode is a pretty lame representation of the series. Perhaps it’s length limited it’s ability to be a really great parody of The Time Machine. All this talk of getting trapped in an elevator makes me think. I wish someone would make a Super Friends style parody of the 2010 film, Devil, using the DC heroes, now that would be pretty damn awesome.

www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 108: Toxie’s Almost 30th Anniversary Shirt

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The always eloquent Darth Vader once said, “It is pointless to resist…” and I’ve proved him right. Early on, there was a time when I tried my very best to look away whenever the horror t-shirt company Fright Rags released a cool new special edition shirt, but within the past few years, they’ve beaten me into submission. There was absolutely no way I could deny some of their amazing limited run shirts, including Friday the 13th, and their KISS inspired KILL tour shirt. Today, I’ll show you one of their most recent tees, an “Almost 30th Anniversary” Toxic Avenger edition.

Fright Rags enlists only the best artists to provide artwork on their t-shirts, but unfortunately I have no idea who the credit goes to for this superb work. This Toxie shirt is a prime example of the high quality and attention to detail that Fright Rags has become synonymous with. I’ve seen and owned so many mediocre shirts with my favorite characters on them through the years and this one blows most of them out of the polluted water.

On the front of the shirt, Toxie stands tall over a river of bubbling chemicals, mop in hand, in front of the American flag and chemical plants in the distance. Two hotties kneel beside him. This is some incredibly dramatic…and smelly stuff. To make it official, the Troma logo is on the back of the tee.

Toxie fans will be delighted and should show their appreciate that Fright Rags paid such an excellent tribute to the Almost 30th anniversary of the FIRST Superhero from New Jersey! At the time of this post, I’ve come to the point where I handed Fright Rags over my bank account information so they can just speed up the process of getting me these masterpieces in the future.

www.SexyArmpit.com

Conjuring Up Some Jersey Connections

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Usually I wait for the crowds to die down before seeing a brand new movie while it’s in the theater. Ever since Insidious and Sinister boosted my confidence in the horror genre, The Conjuring trailer had me wanting to see the movie right away. I was anxiously waiting to see it, but I held off until the second weekend to avoid crowds. On purpose, as I usually do, I chose an odd time to see the film, thinking I would avoid obnoxious people. Turns out that my strategic planning didn’t make a difference, but it didn’t matter because the experience I had watching the film overwhelmingly outweighed the annoying people who surrounded me.

Judging by both box office receipts and reviews, I can tell you that The Conjuring is a superior horror film and it’s success is no fluke. It seems like behind every success story is some type of New Jersey connection. The Conjuring made me feel like I was part of the Perron family as they moved into an old, possibly haunted farmhouse in Rhode Island. Eventually the audience is just as mortified as the Perrons are, but they shouldn’t be shocked at what they see since they moved there from New Jersey – a minuscule bit of trivia that is only mentioned nonchalantly by Roger Perron, the man of the house, in all his ’70s glory, played perfectly by Ron Livingston (Office Space). Roger’s wife, Carolyn (Lili Taylor), enlists Ed and Lorraine Warren, a real life couple of paranormal investigators who also teach classes on demonology.

March 2013’s Garden State Playmate, and now well known for her incredible performance as Norma Bates on Bates Motel, the lovely Vera Farmiga, plays Lorraine Warren while Patrick Wilson, star of Watchmen, and Montclair, NJ resident, plays her husband Ed. Together they visit houses that may be haunted and try to get to the source of the issue by postulating realistic reasons for what caused their “bump in the night.” That isn’t all they do for the Perron family though. You’ll have to go see that for yourself.

The Conjuring is a throwback. It’s the type of creepy film that they just don’t seem to make anymore, and damn it was just plain fun. Director James Wan and his team mixed classic movie thrills with practical effects to create an extremely tense and scary atmosphere. Wilson and Farmiga carry the film, but Taylor, Livingston, as well as the actresses who played Perron’s daughters all give outstanding performances.
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