Rob Zombie’s Super Monster Sex Action Tour Is Coming To Starland Ballroom

He claimed he would be swearing off horror for a while to delve into other genres, but Rob Zombie isn’t keeping his word. There’s more movies and music to be made and Zombie seems like he’s Never Gonna Stop. I’m more than cool with his self-defiance. The hard working and hard rocking horror icon, a.k.a Rob Cummings, will be unleashing his own brand of hell onto the Starland Ballroom is Sayreville, NJ on Saturday, June 6th 2015. It’s the Super Monster Sex Action Tour, and it’s gonna be insane.

Zombie’s ability to churn out new music is astounding. This guy is a creative machine. For Zombie fans, each of his albums have consistently delivered, all while throwing up a middle finger to the mainstream. I’m hoping a few new tracks will be unveiled at the sold out show.

How does he do it all? I have a hard time working, blogging, and putting the dishes away, but this guy writes and directs films AND tours in support of albums crammed with songs he writes and records with his band. Whatever magic juice he’s drinking, gimme some of that!

In the movie realm, on the horizon for Zombie is his own crowdfunded horror film, 31. Early clues such as plot, storyboards, and character design point to this being the best work of his career, which is encouraging for people who were left underwhelmed by The Lords of Salem. Not saying it’s a great film, but personally, I enjoyed it.

Also coming up, he’ll be executive producing and providing some voice work for the animated The Hills Have Eyes: The Beginning. Getting Zombie on board for an installment in this franchise couldn’t be more in his wheelhouse, it’s a total no-brainer.

Back to the topic of Zombie’s concerts – they are always quite a spectacle. You won’t be hearing any A Capella or harmonizing, it’s all about the rock. You’ll have a bad case of rockneck from all the headbanging. He often throws in some surprises too. For instance, last year, at his concert in Camden, NJ, Zombie brought out the Catman himself, Peter Criss, for a special performance of “God of Thunder.” He eloquently urged his legion of fans in a courteous manner that, “Now would be the time to take out those stupid fucking phones, you might want to film this…” You can check out the entire clip courtesy of Jim Powers’ YouTube account below.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfyteTznq-U]

New Monster High Dolls? They’re All Together Ooky…The Jersey Devil Family?

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Some days I just can’t take my attention off Deviant Art. It’s an addicting endeavor for me. I remember a while back when friends used to tell me they’d be on MySpace for hours, but I used to log in merely to check my messages, possibly update my status depending on how motivated I was, and then just log the f*ck out. Deviant Art is really the only site I will become mesmerized by. Some people are addicted to Reddit or Buzzfeed and I just can’t get into them. Maybe I like Deviant Art so much because I get to look at pictures? Well, who doesn’t? It’s no different than when I was a kid and loved looking at the pictures in a book when someone was reading me a story. And just the same way it was back then, every once in while you find something really cool as you’ll see when we pay a call on The Jersey Devil family.

The New Jersey artists, CelebiObsession, Ninapedia, and her little sister seem to be huge fans of Mattel’s Monster High line of dolls and cartoons, a trait I share and don’t make it much of a secret. The artists clearly have pride in the fact that they’re from Jersey because they decided to bring New Jersey into the world of Monster High. It seems like a no brainer for them to incorporate New Jersey’s most notorious urban legend with the popular doll series based off classic movie monsters.

Honestly, there hasn’t been a more logical character breeding like this since the original Monster High lineup. Frankie Stein, Draculaura and the other characters’ lineage makes sense. If there actually were Monster High characters from Jersey, there’s such a low chance that they’d be anything other than relatives of The Jersey Devil. Think about it, how perturbed would the Italian community be if dolls came out who were offspring of a long dead Jersey mob boss or since they are aimed at younger kids, a demon guido? That would cause problems so I’d definitely see the brain trust at Mattel taking the fastest route to the Pine Barrens on that one.

Long story short, that wacky red bastard J.D invited me over for a few brews and to meet the family, so here they are below and if you’d like to visit the artists who created them you can visit their pages listed here: http://ninapedia.deviantart.com and http://celebiobsession.deviantart.com

Lillith Leeds – JD’s eldest daughter
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Trenton Leeds, Lillith’s older brother, digs disco fries, a popular late night snack at diners
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The artists named each of The Jersey Devil’s family members appropriately. All their last names are Leeds which is based off the actual family that spawned the legend of The Leeds Devil. Their first names are all based off places in New Jersey, except for Lilith, JD’s eldest daughter, who would most likely be the first to get the Monster High treatment out of all of these characters. Or perhaps simultaneously released with Trenton Leeds, as a brother-sister two-pack? Oh, I’m so tremendously geeky. Now, let’s take a look at the younger siblings in the Leeds family.

Dover likes sandwiches from the Rutgers Grease Trucks and has a twin sister, Camden
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Camden likes Salt Water Taffy, a candy with a long history at The Jersey Shore
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Harmony and Newton
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I find all this extremely creative and it’s the exact type of mash up of pop culture and the state of New Jersey that I love to capture here. The only flaw I could dig up on these is that I can’t help but thinking the characters should be older so they can truly be in Monster High School rather than Monster Elementary or Monster Middle School. Or some sort Monster Home School. Mattel take note, this is a good idea. And give those ladies a kickback when these go into production.

Do The Hustle…The American Hustle!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk3Bzss8hYI?rel=0]

I’m already doing the hustle for American Hustle. All I can say is HOLY SHIT I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE. Is it Christian Bale’s already killer performance that’s grabbing me? Is it the Zeppelin music bed that does it? Is it Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence looking HOT? All of the above actually. The Jersey aspect is merely icing on the cake. Clearly hyperbole, but I am obsessed with this movie already.

Summary straight from IMDB:

“The Story of a con artist and his partner in crime, who were forced to work with a federal agent to turn the tables on other cons, mobsters, and politicians – namely, the volatile mayor of impoverished Camden, New Jersey.”

Directed by David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook) and featuring a tremendous ensemble cast including the aforementioned actors, as well as Brad Cooper, Louis C.K and Jeremy Renner, American Hustle may be the movie of the year. It hits theaters in December and I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets a few Oscar noms. Jennifer Lawrence for best hair, Amy Adams for hottest bathing attire, and Christian Bale for best Welch man doing a Bronx accent.

One of the first comments on YouTube under this trailer insists that this is going to be one of those movies that casts a bunch of great actors, but the movie turns out to be crap. There’s always a possibility of that, but this was after he pleaded to get Amy Adams naked in a movie. Whoa there buddy…that’s Princess Giselle AND Lois Lane you’re talking about here! She’s no Lindsay Lohan who’s desperately displaying her stuff to the entire world in The Canyons in hopes of resurrecting her career. Adams is on a whole other level and she just seems to be climbing higher with each role she takes on.

If you’ve seen David O. Russell’s previous films, you know you’re in for a treat. If you aren’t familiar with his films, at the very least, check out The Fighter, an amazing film that truly showcases Christian Bale’s depth as an actor. More recently though, Silver Linings Playbook is possibly the most finely acted film I’ve seen in years. As many directors tend to do, Russell likes to cast his usual team of actors in his films. In this case, it’s combining key cast members from both Silver Linings and The Fighter which can only equal good things. 

Drive-In and Fly-In Theaters In New Jersey

Richard M. Hollingshead, Jr. (a sales manager at his father’s auto parts company according to Wikipedia) opened the first Drive-In move theater under the name Park In-Theaters, Inc on June 6th, 1933 on Crescent Boulevard in Camden, NJ. Usually each car paid under a dollar for admission, vastly less than the astronomical prices for movies today. You can read the history of Hollingshead and his theater via this link at the History Channel’s website.

The mid-’80s saw the decline of the Drive-In movie theater. Hope is not lost though. Within the last few years the dine-in trend is coming back, so maybe we’ll see the resurgence of the Drive-In theater?

At the height of the Drive-In craze, Newark, NJ had one of the largest Drive-Ins in the country, but things started to get out of hand. In 1948 Ed Brown’s Fly-In and Drive-In opened in Asbury Park, NJ. Planes landed at a nearby airfield and were allowed to taxi to the back row which was designated for planes.Sounds like Disney’s Cars world, doesn’t it? This outdoor theater had space for 500 cars and 25 airplanes. The formula must have proven successful since another generic Fly-In/Drive-In opened in Belmar in the ’50s.

Considering that I’m not a huge fan of the revamped Dine-In theater gimmick, chances are, the Drive-In Theater wouldn’t appeal to me much either. Apparently, many people in my family managed and worked at a drive-in theater in New Jersey for several years and during high school and college I worked at the local theater as well, so I have a unique perspective. Ultimately, I’d rather be on my couch relaxing while watching a blu-ray and sipping some iced tea and chowing down on food that a waitress doesn’t have to interrupt the movie to bring over to me.

If you’re feeling nostalgic and you want to take the fam out for a night at the movies, why not bypass the usual 24-plex and pay a visit to The Delsea Drive-In in Vineland, New Jersey!
http://www.delseadrive-in.com/

*You can find some of the information in this post at http://www.driveintheater.com/drivhis1.htm#oddities

SNL Gets Cookie Monster, Sexy Armpit Gets Johnny Fiama

Thanks to Muppet Wikia‘s vast amount of Muppet minutia, we now know that Johnny Fiama hails from Camden, New Jersey, a fact he revealed during his appearance on an episode of Family Feud. Now that we know he’s a Jersey guy, it’s not surprising that his last name is actually an anagram for Mafia!

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Heeeeere’s Johnny…Fiama that is!

In 2002’s It’s a Very Merry Muppets Christmas Movie, Johnny Fiama sings a hilarious “Jingle Bells” accompanied by Rowlf on piano. Soon he gets interrupted by his loyal monkey sidekick, Sal Minella, who has a Christmas gift for him.

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“I sold my moped to buy you this solid gold record player!”

The Muppet character Johnny Fiama didn’t show up to the party until the short lived prime time TV show Muppets Tonight, but he’s been a welcome addition the gang ever since. Johnny seems to be stereotypically Italian, and inspired by the great crooners such as Tony Bennet, Dean Martin, and Frank Sinatra. He even hosted “The Johnny Fiama Show” on Muppets Tonight.

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“It looks like somebody’s been drinking a little too much egg nog!”

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thesexarm-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B003XURDCC&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

Underwater Shark Tunnels: Will We Ever Learn?

It’s one thing to watch sharks swim around gracefully from afar in a tank, but it’s a totally different story to be almost completely surrounded by them as they fantasize about what’s for lunch. In the name of attracting more people, several aquariums around the country feature walk through shark tunnels. Have we not learned anything from that enthralling cinematic achievement, Jaws 3-D?

As if the 3-D revival craze in the early ’80s wasn’t horrifying enough, JAWS 3-D plainly warned us NEVER to go into any tunnel that looks like THIS:

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It may sound like fun when you’re sitting in front of a movie screen watching Jaws with 3-D glasses on, but when you are actually in the real thing, it’s a very different experience. For those of you who enjoy risking life and limb, The Shark Realm at The Adventure Aquarium in Camden, NJ has a 40 foot, 550,000 gallon shark tunnel that will have you literally handing over your body parts in exchange for the shark’s mercy on your soul.
Something tells me that, eventually, sharks will be the answer to the population problem in the U.S. Anytime one of those ferocious bastards wants to crash through the glass and dine on some dirty Jersey flesh, carnage and utter mayhem could be mere moments away. If you haven’t experienced Dennis Quaid’s tour de force in JAWS 3-D, you better log on to Netflix or order it on Amazon before you head out to your local Aquarium, and because you are missing out on a total shlockfest.

*Read more about Dennis Quaid’s Deep Dark Shark Secret

The Adventure Aquarium also has the option to Swim with the Sharks. You won’t catch The Sexy Armpit doing that anytime soon, but the dude from TLC’s CAKE BOSS had the guts:

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 34: Brewster’s Millions

“C’mon, this is Hackensack, New Jersey, no scout comes here you understand that? A train’s going through the outfield right now…” – Spike Nolan, Brewster’s Millions

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It’s only a matter of days before pitchers and catchers will be reporting to spring training. To get you geared up for baseball season, today’s entry features 1985’s Brewster’s Millions starring Richard Pryor. If you are a baseball fan and you haven’t seen this, it’s worth adding to your Netflix queue. The film is actually based on George Barr McCutcheon’s 1902 novel which spawned several movies, but this incarnation is the most well known. In addition to it’s baseball backdrop, New Jersey also plays a  significant role in the film.

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We first see Brewster (Pryor) as the pitcher on the minor league Hackensack Bulls. At first the film is reminiscent of 2000’s The Replacements, and it’s possible that this low rent, rag tag baseball team might get a shot at the big leagues later in the movie. Once the plot is exposed as fairly un-baseball related, the story becomes a bit cockamamy. Brewster stands to inherit $300 million dollars from his deceased great uncle, but only if he’s able to spend $30 million in 30 days. Brewster does everything he can to spend the dough, including running for Mayor of New York City and hiring the New York Yankees to take on the Hackensack Bulls in a 3-inning exhibition game.

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Brewster’s Millions is one of those ’80s films that seems to get lost in the shuffle. The film is mildy humorous, thanks mostly to John Candy as Brewster’s friend, Spike Nolan. Candy was clearly not given the best material to work with but was still amusing as always. As the main character, Monty Brewster, even Pryor’s performance was mediocre at best. The storyline isn’t meant to be hysterical, but one would think that combining the comedic powers of Pryor and Candy on screen would equal gold, but it’s unfortunately not the case. I’m in no way implying that there are no funny parts in this film, but just not as many as I had hoped.

According to IMDB, Jennifer Beals was up for the role of Brewster’s love interest and financial advisor, Angela Drake, but the role ultimately went to Lonette McKee. McKee’s performance was dull and the film could’ve used a female lead with some sort of spark. McKee and Pryor didn’t have much chemistry at all and just the idea of Beals playing the role of Drake is much more enticing. I’m not sure why Beal didn’t get the role, but after reading more about Beals’ career, it seems to be a trend. She passed up the role of Appolonia in Purple Rain, and she was apparently the first choice to play Andie in Pretty in Pink, but lost out to Molly Ringwald.

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Friday the 13th Part III’s Gloria Charles in a Camden Braves Jersey

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Billboards at Pulaski Field: National Bank of Bergen County and Hasbrouck Dairy

Also thanks to IMDB, the exterior shot of Torchy’s Bar is also seen in 1979’s When a Stranger Calls:

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“…he was out drinking ’til 3:30 at a bar in Plainfield last night…”

Brewster’s Millions offers various other mentions of New Jersey, Newark, and the fictional Hackensack Bulls baseball team. Look out for a hysterical cameo by Rick Moranis as Morty King King of the Mimics and Yakov Smirnoff as Vladimir the driver.

We’re Rated #1 in CRIME baby!

Can’t seem to think of something you are thankful for? Here’s an obvious one: YOU PROBABLY DON’T LIVE IN CAMDEN! Yesterday, in the ritzy “City Crime Rankings,” cqpress.com reported that Camden, NJ, has the highest crime rate in the country.

It’s a huge win for Camden since last year they were ranked #2! This year, Camden worked diligently and battled back to snag the #1 spot. At this point, New Jersey has so many feathers to put in their cap that I’m pretty sure that cap is going to fall off pretty soon. We have the most toxic waste, insane traffic, expensive tolls, unquestionably the most obnoxious people, the worst basketball team, and now we’re officially home to the most dangerous city in the U.S. You can grab the widget on the left at cqpress.com.