NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 68: NJ Zombie Walk 2010

People are dead serious about zombies. All over the country zombie walks will take place on Halloween weekend, and you will be in danger unless you take the proper precautions. It may be wise to order yourself, your significant other, and your kids some protective tees which will make it clear to the zombies that you are NOT breakfast, but merely horrendous tasting innocent bystanders. The survival tee was cool last year, but this year there are 2 versions! The first is for men (or women who like to wear men’s t-shirts) and shows a male zombie ripping through a Garden State Parkway sign, and the second is a babydoll tee for women that features a female zombie tearing through a New Jersey Turnpike sign.

NJ Zombie T-Shirt
NJ Zombie Baby T-shirt

The last t-shirt is splattered with an exclusive bloodied New Jersey ZOMBIE license plate which is available with a $25 dollar donation. There’s a lot more to look at and purchase, so visit the official New Jersey Zombie Walk website where you can get all the info you need to join in the walk and get other awesome NJ Zombie merch. If you can swing it, try to make a donation because proceeds will go toward offsetting the cost of putting on the event. Their website explains that there are rental, permit, and insurance fees, so shell out the cash muthatruckas! The 3rd annual NJ Zombie Walk kicks off at Asbury Park Convention Hall on the afternoon of October 30th!

Halloween Events around New Jersey

Not in the Halloween spirit yet? Well, you don’t have much time left, but a good old fashioned Haunted Hayride through some spooky woods will definitely do the trick. The Field of Terror in East Windsor, NJ is New Jersey’s largest corn maze/haunted hayride event. We took a Sexy Armpit excursion there last weekend and had a great time. It was a perfect night, the air was crisp, the moon was bright, and we even ran into The New Jersey Ghostbusters!

Disco of the Damned

Every year Asbury Lanes and Paranormal Books present an over the top Halloween party and it’s always the place to be. If you still have not made your Halloween plans, then click over to ticketweb and order your tickets! Tragedy performs their signature metalized versions of The Bee Gees hits! The Sexy Armpit will be there, in costume of course. What costume will I be wearing? Not telling!

Loew's Jersey Theatre
The Landmark Loew’s Jersey Theatre in Jersey City is keeping it real. Really scary that is! Each year, New Jersey’s most legendary theatre presents horror movies during October. Starting tonight you can check out Brides of Dracula, Son of Frankenstein, and the original Nosferatu with a creepy live organ providing the soundtrack!

Rocky Horror Asbury Park
The Revision Theatre is presenting their production of The Rocky Horror Show on stage! This is the real play folks, you won’t just be watching the movie on a screen. There’s already great buzz on the actors and costumes so I’m looking forward to it! If you can’t make it, I’ll let you know how it is! Hope it makes me shiver with antici…pation! What are your plans for Halloween?

Joan Jett in Jersey

In honor of Joan Jett’s birthday, here are a couple of classic, pro-shot performances of hers that took place in New Jersey. The first is from 1983 in the now defunct Capitol Theatre in Passaic, NJ, a venue that featured concerts of so many now legendary acts. The second is from 1982 at Convention Hall in Asbury Park NJ. Thanks to the YouTube channel of karinarudzinska, we are able to see these vintage clips!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 50: The Saint in Asbury Park

new jersey,asbury park,the saint,t-shirt

The Saint in Asbury Park, NJ is one of the best venues to discover new bands in the Tri-State area. Since 1994, the stage at this corner bar has been graced by major label acts, local up and coming bands, and artists hailing literally from around the globe.

On a recent visit to Asbury Park, I stopped into The Saint for a beer. As I sat on a stool at the bar, I absorbed the atmosphere. The multicolored lights saturated the various concert posters, memorabilia, and other quirky decor hanging on the walls. To the right, I noticed a band setting up their equipment on the stage, and even though I was curious to stay and check them out, my eyelids were already involuntarily shutting on me. I just can’t hang anymore, especially since I was up at 5:00 am that morning. As my girlfriend and I were about to call it a night and hop back on the GSP, Lipstick and Cigarettes, were plugged in and ready to rock the crowd. I peered around at people’s faces in the bar and everyone was waiting patiently, so I figured this band must be pretty good. One girl standing not too far from my stool who said her name was Stephanie, seemed like a fan, so I asked her if she saw this band before: “Yeah I did, and this is only their 2nd show actually,” ahh, thanks for the info Steph. Normally “only their 2nd show” would be a surefire signal for me to hightail it out of there, but after hearing merely 20 seconds of their opening song “Burn This City,” I knew they were my type of band.

lipstick and cigarettes,band,the saint,asbury park

Almost all the songs this trio performed were instantly memorable. I was sold on their bouncy, energized, retro rock vibe. Chris, the lead singer and guitarist of Lipstick and Cigarettes, could have been yanked out of a video from the early days of MTV with his skinny tie and black button down shirt. His voice matched the visual, creating a sound similar to many new wave bands with the prefix “The” in their names like The Cars, The Fixx, and The Knack. Their drummer, Erik, provided killer beats throughout the show, especially on the intro to “Alibi.” He infuses the songs with a rhythm that made me feel like they could have been on an ’80s movie soundtrack. But providing the key female element in the band is their bassist, Sarah, who probably gets so sick of hearing all the Cassandra from Wayne’s World references, so unless you want to get punched in the mouth, you better think twice about asking her if Crucial Taunt is playing The Gasworks this week. Sarah provided backing vocals on a few of the songs, such as “White Tie Affair,” but the band would benefit from making Sarah and Erik’s backing vocals more prominent in every song, which would provide a fuller, more distinct sound.

During the concert, I admired how meticulously constructed their pop rock songs were. For instance, “Taking it Slow’s” big “Whoa-Oh” chorus was fun, less sugary than the sweet power pop of Tinted Windows, and way less effeminate than Franz Ferdinand. Accentuating their set was a fresh cover of The Romantics’ “Talking in Your Sleep,” while some of their best tracks followed such as “Sleight of Hand” and “Dangerous Eyes.” As they brought it home, the crowd wanted more. Although unsure of what song they would do, Lipstick and Cigarettes delivered an encore. After some back and forth, Sarah was elected to sing. She enticed all the guys in the crowd with her alluring vocals on Blondie’s “Call Me,” and of course, she slapped some bass as well.

The show was over and I wasn’t tired at all after seeing Lipstick and Cigarettes. The second the show ended I basically interrogated the drummer Erik and tried to shake him down for a CD, but he claimed they didn’t have one made yet. That got me more than a little pissed considering that I could totally picture myself cruising around this summer with the windows down blasting their music. I thought he was just joking around and didn’t want to give me a copy, but then he mentioned that this would be their last live show for a while since they are working on writing and recording their debut album. Damn, I was glad that we decided to hang out! I admit that I was unsure if I wanted to stick around for a band I knew nothing about and whose music I have never heard, but that is the type of unexpected magic a place like The Saint offers. All the classic bands started somewhere, and if I’m lucky I may have witnessed one in the making.

LIKE Lipstick and Cigarettes on Facebook
and
visit http://thesaintnj.com to check out their event schedule

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.38: Baby It’s You

Baby It's You
I had not heard of Baby It’s You until a couple of years ago when I discovered that it was based in Trenton, NJ so I wanted to check it out. Recently, I rented it from Netflix and even though there’s been many occasions where The Sexy Armpit has been known to save a film merely based on its ties to New Jersey, as you will read in this review, even with the added feature of seeing Rosanna Arquette’s boobs for the bazillionth time, Baby It’s You is better left undiscovered.
Baby It’s You, is based on a story by Trenton-born Amy Robinson, and begins in 1966, and progresses into the early ’70s. The soundtrack is classic, but even it can’t incite the plot, if you want to call it that, to miraculously become interesting. Considering the film was made in 1983 and is set in 1966, when I heard the first Springsteen track play it was obvious the filmmakers were taking some creative license. Featuring some of Springsteen’s best songs worked well within the film and it kept with the Jersey theme, but it wasn’t enough to rescue the dismal film out of the depths of the Delaware River.

Baby It's You
The flaw of the film is that the two main characters are unlikeable. Our main character, Jill, played by Rosanna Arquette, gets courted by a more suave version of a greaser who calls himself Sheik. Sheik (Vincent Spano) dresses to the nines to make up for the fact that he’s pretty much a loser and has daddy issues. For some outrageous reason, he thinks that he’s going to be a singer someday and make something of himself. Shiek’s mom is very sweet and encouraging while his father is tough on him. I didn’t feel bad for Sheik’s home life at all, nor did I have any sympathy for Jill’s situation. Jill seemed to have a perfect situation, she was an above average student who lived with 2 caring parents in a nice house. She aspired to be an actress and she succeeded in high school and college, but not without Sheik proving to be a distraction in her pursuit.

asbury park,new jersey
Get this, Sheik’s aspirations were not to be an actor like Jill, but to be a singer like Frank Sinatra. Now, if he could only actually SING then he’d be headed in the right direction! This guy looked like he would be a crooning version of Tony Manero. His dream is to do a night club show where he lip syncs to songs from Sinatra, Dean Martin, Paul Anka, and others. What kind of a lousy dream is it to lipsync to songs played from a stereo at a night club half filled with old drunk people? The dude winds up working at a club in Florida lip syncing along with songs, not even doing Karaoke. Karaoke singers seem like Pavarotti compared to this guy. If you’re halfway decent at the video game Rock Band then you already have more talent than Sheik! With all his expensive suits helping to play up his image, Sheik was clearly trying to find an identity. Sheik was overcompensating for the fact that he didn’t really have any talent, but knew that he wanted to be a famous singer. It was hard to relate to this character, since it’s easy to realize when you just aren’t cut out for something.
His advances toward Jill were just plain creepy. They didn’t even know each other and he just plopped himself down at her lunch table one day, came on strong, and then wondered why she wasn’t receptive to him. Eventually, Jill falls for this metrosexual bad boy. She agrees to let him take her out. Sheik brings her to a dive bar and ignores her to hang with his friends at a completely different table for the entire night. What a douche! Oh yeah, was there a time when you were allowed to drive on the boardwalk? Or was this another way for him to demonstrate what a badass he is? Shiek was basically the film’s answer to late ’60s guido. Maybe guidos have a license to drive on the boardwalk?

Baby It's You
“The way I figure it, there’s only 3 people in the world that matter. 
Jesus Christ, Frank Sinatra, and Me.” 
– Albert “Sheik” Capadilupo (It’s must be the late ’60s version of GTL)
Sheik had a bad temper. Spano played him like a completely unhinged slimeball, especially when Sheik informs Jill that he got kicked off the basketball team. She tries to get away from him and tells him to leave her alone “Whattya think you’re too f-cking good for me?” he says before launching her school books down the hallway. He throws a fit and hits the locker like an immature little bitch. What’s with this guy? Was this how Jersey Shore would have been in 1966? In a later scene, while looking for Jill, he trashed her dorm room before she returned. After she walks in to see him, Arquette barely shows any feeling of shock that he has just completely trashed her place. “…my stuff” she says in a docile tone. Yeah. That’s what I’d say if I came home to find that my shit was thrown around the room and the place had been totally ransacked. “…my stuff.”

Asbury Park
As you can see, Jill is just plain stupid. Sheik and his pal actually wind up kidnapping Jill and her friend. He grabs them, tosses them in the car, puts a gun to them, and speeds away. Maybe I wasn’t interpreting this scene and the ones that followed correctly, but it seemed like a truly dumbass move for Jill to forgive him after what he did. If I put myself into Jill’s character, I just can’t relate to her, but you can bet your ass that I would NOT continue dating someone who kidnapped me at gunpoint. Crazy bitch!  Is this entire movie just about Jill’s infatuation with “the wrong guy?” How pathetic. At one point, Sheik even bangs one of her best friends!
The theme of the film seems to be “I’ll love you no matter how fucked in the head you are.” With all the emotions that were desperately pleading to be relayed to the viewers, they never come across. It’s a shame because the movie intends to mirror the frustration, confusion, and chaos that makes up a teenagers transition into adulthood. It’s a downer and it fails to convey these feelings because of our lack of sympahty for the two main characters. Their lives aren’t that bad, in fact, they are pretty damn good. After watching the film, the characters seemed like 2 spoiled brats who are bored with their suburban upbringing. They are basically normal teens who are going through the same crap that everyone else goes through. Baby It’s You isn’t sure what it wants to be, but what it does agree on being is a f-cked up love story with some damn good shots of Asbury Park.

Asbury Park
asbury park,new jersey

Joker, Joy Buzzers, and Jersey

new jersey,joy buzzer,joker,batman
I’ve just discovered that we actually are just a bunch of ball busters over here in Jersey. The man partly to blame for that is Soren Sorenson Adams.  You can thank his company, S.S Adams Co. for cheap gags such as the stink bomb, itching powder, and my personal favorite, the snake nut can! The S.S Adams Co. is also responsible for creating one of The Joker’s most memorable and ruthless pranks.

Adams was born in Denmark in 1879 and came to the United States at age four. His family moved to Perth Amboy, NJ where his father owned a bar. Sorensen was working as a salesman for a dye company when he discovered that the dyes he was selling had an ingredient that made people sneeze. Sorensen detected which additive created the effect and launched The Cachoo Sneezing Powder Company in Plainfield, NJ. In his Wikipedia entry, it actually claims that there was a “sneezing powder craze that swept the country.” Can you imagine walking around town and everyone is frantically snorting sneezing powder and sneezing like crazy everywhere you turn? That sounds gross. I wouldn’t walk out of the house without a motorcycle helmet on. I hate when people sneeze on me. What the f-ck is a “sneezing powder craze”? Was there actually a time when people thought getting sneezed on was so commonplace that they thought it was much weirder if they WEREN’T getting sneezed on? How did America end this craze is what I want to know. This is proof that Wikipedia is no Funk and Wagnalls.

new jersey,joy buzzer,joker,batman
Antoine got a little hot under the collar!
Batman’s arch enemy The Joker should be indebted to Adams for providing him with one of his trademark lethal gags. The prototype to what would become known as the Joy Buzzer was designed in 1928. Then, in 1932, Adams copyrighted the final product and, unlike The Joker’s version, it wasn’t deadly. The Joy Buzzer brought S.S Adams Company huge success which lead them to move into a new factory in Neptune, NJ. In addition to the Joy Buzzer, Adams is said to have invented over 600 items, and patented around 40.  Adams has a long list of tricks and puzzles to his credit as well as other novelty items such as the squirting nickel, the money maker, and the bar bug in ice cube. Adams died in Asbury Park, NJ in 1963.
Go to http://csadams.com/ to read more about The S.S Adams Company.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 25: Asbury Lanes

asbury park,new jersey,t-hisrt
Pictured above is the official Asbury Lanes T-Shirt, which is available for an affordable $15 bucks at this link: http://www.asburylanes.com/merch.htm

There were a few requirements I had when determining what to do on Halloween night. New Jersey offers an endless amount of options from costume parties to haunted houses, and like Clark Griswold I wanted to ensure the optimum amount of fun for The Sexy Armpit crew.

What were my stipulations? I didn’t want to spend $10 per drink, I didn’t want to drive too far, but I did want to be in a place where I would be recognized for who I dressed up as: the early ’80s version of Macho Man Randy Savage and my girlfriend was Miss Elizabeth. If I went to some snotty upscale place, and believe me, there’s many of those to choose from in Jersey, I would be looked down upon. I like to go places where I feel like I fit in. I narrowed my search down to The Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel which was offering The Shining: Red Rum, Red Rum Party, which would have soaked me $50 bucks at the door. My budget was basically non-existent, so I scratched that one off real quick. The hefty entrance fee was justified though, since winners of their costume contest would win big prize money: Best costume won $1,000 cash! Still, I opted for something more affordable, and more my style. Ultimately, I wound up merely a few blocks away.

In association with Paranormal Books, Asbury Lanes held The Bloodlust Ball. The masquerade’s cover charge was only $15, which included entertainment, snacks, and Halloween candy. For those who haven’t been there, you also have the option to bowl some balls. The vibe was very cool and I knew we were in for a great time as soon as we sat down at the bar. The drinks were priced very reasonably so you wouldn’t have broken your bank if you were out to get tanked. We caught a few minutes of the Yankees game and then I was recognized, “Hey look, that guy is Macho Man!” Throughout the night we received compliments on our costumes and praised other awesome ones as well! We ran into Emma Frost/White Queen, Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, and even Charles Manson and Sharon Tate. We had a blast and I definitely made the right choice!
asbury lanes,bloodlust ball,new jersey,halloween
Two aspects of The Bloodlust Ball set it apart from the rest of the parties I could have attended. First, DJ Jack the Ripper spun hours of retro ’80s tunes and cranked out tracks that I also have on my iPod like Prince’s “Sexy M.F,” and Whodini’s “The Freaks Come out and Night.” Did I mention the burlesque performers? Our host for the evening was the wickedly entertaining Weirdee Girl, who usually performs in Brooklyn and other venues in New York. Every hour she introduced other burlesque performers, all of whom presented their own unique show. The second performer, Justina Flash of The Gyronauts, put on quite a spectacle. Take a peek at what she does with a flaming hula hoop in this video:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2022772&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

Asbury Lanes
209 4th Avenue
Asbury Park, NJ 07712

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 21: New Jersey Zombie Walk

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Here’s the official T-Shirt of the NJ Zombie Walk that took over the streets of Asbury Park last weekend. The illustration on the front of the tee depicts a zombie ripping through the outline of New Jersey with green slime splattered in the background. If you missed out this year, make sure you get there next year! Within the next few days, the official site will feature pics of the event: www.njzombiewalk.com

The House Where Charlie Lived by Clint Miller Jr.

I’m the slowest reader of all time. My “to read” list is backed up with books, blogs, magazines, and of course, comic books. There’s no way I’d ever make it through a Stephen King novel. Fortunately, Clint Miller Jrs., The House Where Charlie Lived, is a quite manageable 222 pages.

This month for the Halloween Countdown, I’ll be recommending and reviewing books that involve horror, ghosts, or the Jersey Devil and are also inspired by New Jersey or written by an author from The Garden State. It doesn’t sound like there would be many books that fall into the previously described category, but many of them do actually exist. The first one that I DUG UP, (ahh I’m a sucker for lame Halloween jokes – call me the male version of Elvira) is by NJ native Clint Miller Jr. Inspired by true events, The House Where Charlie Lived is available now and seems like it will be a great read for me during this Halloween season.
I had the chance to meet Clint Miller Jr. at a book signing at my new favorite store that is not Amazon: Paranormal Books and Curiosities in Asbury Park, NJ. Miller was ego free and seemed like a regular dude, not some snobby writer. That’s the way it is here in New Jersey. Our new state slogan: “Snobby writer free in Jerzee.” Miller was breezy as he discussed the book with me, as well as his Jersey roots.

The eerie cover of Miller’s book intrigued me as the gravitational pull magnetized me to it. Just a glance at the cover art will send chills down your spine. Visit the book’s official website and read the teaser, I guarantee you’ll ask when the movie version is coming out.

In 1963, a quiet seashore community becomes the focus of an intense police dragnet when Thomas Lepp gunned down three New Jersey state troopers. Artis Weyland, inspector with the High Crimes Division, leads the manhunt for Thomas Lepp, a psychopathic man suspected of brutally killing his wife, Emma, and her son Charlie.

The police have a hard time identifying Emma – her body has been chopped to pieces. They never find her head. Her young son, Charlie, is never found at all.

Nearly 40 years later, Allen and Jennifer Cherones, along with their son, Carl, have purchased a two-story house through their good friend and realtor, Ronald Avery. To help fix it up, Allen turns to his brother, Doug, and together the three set out to turn it into a dream home.

What seems like a deal to good to be true turns into a real nightmare for the family. They seek the help of their new neighbors, Dorothy and Roger Faustine, who help them unravel the home’s bloody past.

When the ghostly threat becomes all too deadly, the family realizes the former residents of this house have never left and are now looking to reclaim it. Now the Cherones’ young boy, Carl, is placed in imminent danger as Thomas Lepp returns to finish his dark deed.
Looks like I have another one to add to my list…