WATCH: “GET SLUDGEY TO THE STARLAND!”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1_mysYJMxA?rel=0]
The Sexy Armpit’s first appearance of Sludgey (played by Miss Sexy Armpit) and guest starring the Dirty Jersey Rockers Scarlet Carson. Sludgey was made by Puppatoons. Video was written, directed, and edited by The Sexy Armpit. Please watch it and LIKE it! If you think it’s funny send it to someone who might get a kick out of it. Thanks for your support! P.S: WATCH IN HD!!!
*Get your tickets for Scarlet Carson‘s CD release party on September 24th at Starland Ballroom in Sayreville via this link at Ticketmaster.

Jon Bon Jovi Does Not Work For Me

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gFlfuqcsF0?rel=0]
Surprisingly “Work For The Working Man” sucks only a little bit less than the rest of the tracks on Bon Jovi’s latest effort The Circle. The second I heard this blah medium paced rocker previous to it’s release in late 2009, it’s lyrics struck me as ironic coming from an obscenely wealthy music icon. I’m a working man and Jon Bon Jovi sure as hell doesn’t work for me, otherwise he’d still be recording songs that make me jump out of my chair and play air guitar in front of my mirror.
Jon Bon Jovi’s limp songwriting as of late is partly because in the past several years he’s been too concerned with being an entrepreneur and hosting political galas to be a real rock star. Why concentrate on writing kickass songs when there’s hobnobbing to do, hands to shake, pockets to fill, and horned up wives to flirt with? Rock stars always boast that there’s no better job in the world than to play their music in front of crowds on a nightly basis. Sure, being a successful musician or rock star is lucrative, and as you know, offers a lot of tremendous fringe benefits. So why is this guy singing about losing his pension and having to work 2 jobs just to get by?
Jon Bon Jovi’s net worth is estimated to be in the same range of the number of records his band has sold: 100 million. Listening to Jon sing lyrics that question “Who’s gonna work for the working man?” is ridiculous. Jon brazenly announces that he’s “here trying to make a living” in the first line of the song. It’s a warm and fuzzy sentiment, but really just a futile attempt at appealing to the hard working average middle class citizen – the very group of people responsible for igniting the band to fame in early ’80s New Jersey. Most of them aren’t rock stars, but some did take a crack at it after seeing him make it big. Where are they now? Probably looking to be interviewed by The Sexy Armpit.
Jon Bon Jovi may have grown up in middle class suburban Sayreville, New Jersey, but it wasn’t very long before Bon Jovi’s hit records started making them millions. Oh, the woes of having a family and trying to make ends meet on a one hundred million dollar budget! I know Jon, it must be a real challenge to get those utility bills paid at the end of the month when dealing with such a meager salary. I hear the Bon Jovi clan may even have to skip Christmas this year. You know, sometimes I have $9 dollars left in my account when I’m done paying bills? Look out, airing on E! Network soon, Jay’s True New Jersey Story
Talk about Captain Crash, more like Captain Obvious! Themes such as the economy, unemployment lines, and government involvement are as easily detectable in the song as the moments in concert when Jon’s about to twinkle his spirit fingers. You can see them coming from 7800 miles away. The song’s clunky title, awkward chorus, and political theme fail to unite with the run of the mill Jovi musical background. Which reminds me about an old story. Once upon a time…not so long ago, Bon Jovi sang a song about a working class couple. Although “Work” shares a similar chugging musical intro that recalls their signature song “Livin’ On A Prayer,” their hopes to evoke the same emotions as “Prayer” has for the last 25 years were squashed.
John F. Kennedy’s Inaugrual Address in 1961 included his famous call to action “…ask what you can do for your country.” Essentially, Jon lyrics stand behind Americans who work their asses off every day and are still getting screwed. Now it’s the governments turn to help the people out a little bit, and no matter your political beliefs, that’s not a bad idea that Jon has. The bigger issue here is why he and his guitar slinger Richie Sambora couldn’t turn these passionate sentiments into a huge walloping rock song with an indelible chorus that doesn’t merely ask a question, but instead commands results. Rock music needs to resist and challenge the status quo, but unfortunately Bon Jovi’s “Work” output is too sluggish to be taken seriously.

Straight No Chaser at Harrah’s in Atlantic City

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E8znrSgxqM?rel=0]

Rock, metal, pop, new wave, I enjoy it all, except for a capella. It’s not like I loathe a capella music, it’s more of the fact that I’d rather just hear songs the way they were originally recorded. So, it was ironic that for the past couple of years there’s been an ongoing joke I’ve had with Miss Sexy Armpit about the a capella band Straight No Chaser. I knew nothing about these guys except for the fact that they were appearing every damn place I went. If I was walking down a hallway, leaning up against a wall, or surfing the net, I would somehow encounter Straight No Chaser, without fail, especially while in Atlantic City.

You can’t really go anywhere in A.C without hearing this group mentioned. I grew so sick of hearing about them that I started working them into everything I said to point out how ludicrous their name sounded. Soon I met up with one of my best friends for pizza (Sciortino’s if you’re wondering) and he started gushing about how amazing this singing group was who he saw perform in Atlantic City a few weeks prior. Of course, it was Straight No Chaser which made me laugh. I couldn’t escape these guys! I still wasn’t sold. 
On top of all that, Miss Armpit informed me that she got us a couple of tickets to their Back To The Shore concert at Harrah’s during Labor Day weekend. I appeased her and said “I’ll go,” even though I was less than enthusiastic about it. Fast forward a day or two later and even my parents came home from a weekend trip to A.C totally raving about the time they had at a recent Straight No Chaser show. I needed to check these guys out to see what all the fuss was about.

SNC are an all dude a capella group from Indiana who have tremendous voices and harmonize flawlessly. They perform a wide range of cover songs, all of which you are familiar with, from pop songs to TV theme songs. The band recreates all the vocals, background music, and sounds you hear in the original song purely using their voices. Now I’m trusting all the high praise that I’ve heard about them and looking forward to the show! Tickets are available at the link above.

Here’s SNC live in A.C with medley’s of BRUCE and Bon Jovi courtesy of YouTuber DaisyKary:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lPBWPbHr00?rel=0]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WeithIkKRQ?rel=0]

Motley Crue, Poison, and The New York Dolls in Holmdel NJ

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir1KkVjHOIY?rel=0]
Motley Crue “Wild Side” at PNC 2008 footage by The Sexy Armpit

Tonight the concert tour that many of us rock fans dreamed about since we were kids is stopping at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ. Motley Crue, Poison, and The New York Dolls will rock the amphitheater tonight in what’s sure to be a kickass show. The parking situation at PNC is terrible but it’s a hell of a night and it’s a great venue for a show once you get inside. The Sexy Armpit will see you there if you are going!

This tour marks Poison’s 25th anniversary tour which they are billing as “Glam-a-Geddon 2011,” and there are rumors that this may be their last tour, at least for a while. They’ve been touring almost non stop since the early 2000’s. Motley Crue is said to have a new CD on the way and aside from Mick’s health issues, they show no signs of slowing down. With their new lineup, The New York Dolls are promoting their most recent album Dancing Backward in High Heels.

Now for some Poison footage Sexy Armpit style with “Talk Dirty To Me” from 2008:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvgD-SYCKKw?rel=0]

Huey Lewis and The News At The State Theatre In New Brunswick

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“Is the Heart of Rock and Roll still beating?” Wendy from Roadside Wonders asked me via Twitter. (Click HERE if you would like to follow me) Well Wendy, the answer is a definitive YES. In what seemed like an impossible task, Huey Lewis and The News rocked the packed State Theatre in New Brunswick last night even while failing to play some crowd favorites.

The diverse audience who came out to see Huey Lewis and The News included older folks, young teenagers with their parents, and thirty-somethings who wanted to time travel back to their youth. But not everyone was bouncing around and dancing like I thought they would be. Sure everyone was clapping, but for some reason whenever I sit in a balcony section of a theater, no one ever wants to stand up and get crazy. Of course, the level of craziness is a lot more subdued at a Huey Lewis concert than in comparison to say…a Slayer concert. Moshing is basically non existent, except for the people in the middle rows just trying to get out for a pee break.

I’m spoiled because I’ve been to so many concerts where everyone is standing and losing their minds. From KISS, Motley Crue, and Bon Jovi to Prince and Lady GaGa, people are always standing, dancing, and acting nuts. The crowd wasn’t as loose for Huey Lewis and the News until they started pulling out some of their hits. After performing a few tracks from their 2010 album Soulsville, a tribute to the artists and music of Stax Records, the Lawrenceville NJ High School graduate said that he knew we were probably all getting worried that they weren’t going to play any hits. Everyone started to laugh and clap because they knew it was true. Huey then assured us they would definitely play the big hits.

In addition to cuts from Soulsville, Huey also threw in some deeper tracks from their hit albums, which I thought was cool, but since I had not experienced a Huey Lewis and the News live show I would have preferred hearing more of their popular singles. I wouldn’t have minded hearing more obscure tracks if I had previously saw them in concert a bunch of times.

Some of the big songs they eventually whipped out were “The Heart of Rock n Roll,” “I Want A New Drug,” and “Working For A Living” I knew “Back in Time” wasn’t an option since it’s mostly remembered by fans of Back to the Future. They did perform “Power of Love,” which Huey prefaced with the fact that back when they wrote and recorded the song he had no idea they would be playing that song at every show for the rest of their career.

During their encore Huey polled the audience to see what songs they wanted to hear. A bunch of people were yelling “If This Is It” including my Dad and a boisterous woman in front of me, but to no avail. I thought “Hip to Be Square” would’ve been a definite staple on the set list, but no such luck with that one either. He took a request from a guy in the first row who was begging for “Bad is Bad,” which wouldn’t have been my choice, but I was still cool nonetheless. For the several months leading up to the show all I wanted was to hear them perform “Pineapple Express,” one of their best songs in years. I must have been smoking some Super Red Espresso Snowflake because if Huey didn’t play one of their early hits “Do You Believe in Love,” he sure as hell wasn’t going to play a track that was only featured during the credits of a stoner movie starring Seth Rogen and James Franco.

The Dirty Pearls Video Premiere Party – THIS THURSDAY!

This Thursday the wait is finally over! The Bowery Ballroom in NYC is the place to be on 6/30 when The Dirty Pearls not only perform, but also premiere their brand new video for their new single “Who’s Coming Back to Who.” Also performing live will be the best rock bands New York City has to offer including Star Killer, whose lead singer is NJ-born Jasin Cadic, Panzie, and Sweet Fix. Below you can watch my exclusive interviews with all the bands appearing. See you at the Bowery Ballroom this Thursday! Don’t have tickets? Get them HERE!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-t-XQB_YoM?rel=0]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg101wFZ1C8?rel=0]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KysevVnbaA?rel=0]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzCj3zVDcdI?rel=0]

Who’s Going To The Dirty Pearls Video Premiere Party?

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After receiving a record amount of entries for any contest ever held here at The Sexy Armpit, one lucky winner will be receiving tickets to see The Dirty Pearls video premiere party at the Bowery Ballroom in NYC! The winning entry was determined by its creative merit, and if it offered that extra oddball flavor that appeals to The Sexy Armpit so much. If you did not win, that doesn’t mean that your entry wasn’t a good one, it just means that the winner went above and beyond to create an extremely insane and dirty entry. The winning entry was coherent and was based on real life events as well.
CONGRATULATIONS TO BRITTANY FROM QUEENS VILLAGE N.Y!
Her entry managed to incorporate Jizzy Pearl, RATT, Faster Pussycat, Six Flags Great Adventure, a couple of lewd sexual situations, and a big stuffed zebra. Although I can’t reprint the whole entry here, it was highly amusing and deserving of the WIN! We’ll see you at the show Brittany! And thanks to all of the participants!
THE DIRTY PEARLS VIDEO PREMIERE PARTY!
JUNE 30th BOWERY BALLROOM, NEW YORK CITY
– The Dirty Pearls Performing Live and premiering 2 brand new music videos!
– Also Stark Killer, Panize, and Sweet Fix in concert
– Hosted by Penthouse Pet Justine Joli
– Other Special Guests

TICKET GIVEAWAY: Get Dirty with The Dirty Pearls!

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There’s been many famous PEARLS throughout history, but how many of them would you actually want to get DIRTY with? Starting today right here at The Sexy Armpit we have your chance to score two tickets to experience The Dirty Pearls live in concert at their huge “Who’s Coming Back to Who” Video Premiere Party at the Bowery Ballroom on JUNE 30th, also featuring the finest rock bands NYC has to offer Star Killer, Panzie, and Sweet Fix. You’ll not only see all these bands rock out, but you’ll also witness special guests AND the premiere of The Dirty Pearls epic video for their latest single “Who’s Coming Back To Who?”

Below is a list of famous Pearls throughout history. All you need to do is choose who you would like to get down and dirty with and email us a sentence stating why you chose that person. Example: “I’d like to get DIRTY with Jizzy Pearl because I wanted to f*ck him when I was 12″ or if you don’t swing that way then, “I’d like to get Dirty with Pearl S. Buck because her last name rhymes with —-” You catch my drift. The funniest or most creative answer wins! Feel free to come up with your own. HAVE FUN!
SEND YOUR SUBMISSION TO: SEXYARMPIT@COMCAST.NET
SUBJECT LINE: THE DIRTY PEARLS
Here are your options:
1. Minnie Pearl – Country comedienne known for always wearing a hat with a price tag hanging from it and starring in the TV show Hee Haw. Her pickup line to a young “feller” was “How-w-w-DEE-E-E-E.”
2. Jizzy Pearl – Rock Singer best known as the front man of Love/Hate, and formerly of RATT, L.A Guns, and Adler’s Appetite. Pretty sure his nickname says it all.
3. Pearl S. Buck – Pulitzer Prize winning author of the sleep inducing The Good Earth. The First women to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. If “descriptions of peasant life in China” turn you on, then Pearl S. Buck will blow your mind.
4. Earl “The Pearl” Monroe – A true basketball pioneer, Monroe is a Hall of Fame Point Guard who played for the New York Knicks and the Baltimore Bullets. He was great at handling balls if that helps sway your decision in any way.
5. Pearl Gallagher – The 3rd maid on Diff’rent Strokes played by Mary Jo Catlett. Pearl was sort of like a mix of Mrs. Garrett and Julia Child. After the crushing departures of Edna and Adelaide, Pearl sure knew how to fill the void if you know what I mean.
CONTEST WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED 6/20. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BYPASS THIS CRAZY CONTEST THEN PURCHASE TICKETS HERE!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF9MPf6BP90?rel=0]

The Cars at Roseland Ballroom in NYC

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLG9P7VTlak?rel=0]
Not even the best salesman could’ve convinced me to buy into “The New Cars.” Do you even remember them? From 2005-2007 Todd Rundgren, Prarie Prince, and Kasim Sulton joined Greg Hawkes and Elliot Easton to form this offshoot band. I’m glad I held out because the original band reformed last year. Except for the late Ben Orr, The Cars are back with a new album, Move Like This, which they have been promoting through a ten city tour of the U.S and Canada. On May 25th, 2011 The Cars revved their engines over to a SOLD OUT Roseland Ballroom in New York City. Are The Cars rusty? You Might Think that, but I found them to be just as pristine as when I first heard them.
After reading reviews of the first few dates of The Cars tour, I was pleased to know that they are a no nonsense band. They didn’t have an opening band, they didn’t wait for 2 hours to go on stage, and they didn’t B.S about politics and who we should vote for in the next presidential election in between songs; all they did was delight the crowd with their new wave brand of rock and roll.
After stating a reunion would never happen, Ric Ocasek was finally back on stage with his band mates where he belongs. Front and center with his signature black hair and big sunglasses, Ocasek looked so comfortable up on stage that I’m pretty sure they could play another 10 – 15 years. I didn’t expect Ocasek to sound exactly like he did back in the day, but he sounded right on point. There were some moments when he backed away from the mic to play his guitar and his vocals trailed off and a couple of times where he seemed a little off key, but aside from that it was like listening to the studio versions. No one was there to hear him do vocal calisthenics anyway. All the electronic bleeps and bloops sounded perfect and the background vocals in the choruses provided that key element that helps make the songs so catchy.
It was really a trip getting to see a band whose songs and videos mesmerized me as a kid. I never saw The Cars live and it was amazing to finally get to experience their show. The setlist was a good mix of old, new, and rare. They played hits like “Good Times Roll” and “You Might Think,” but their new material really brought them alive. They seemed to have a blast with songs like “Blue Tip” and the hard rocking must download “Keep on Knocking.” The revitalized Cars showed that extra jolt when kicking into new tunes like “Sad Song” and “Free.”
A concert on a Wednesday night is tough so The Cars took pity on us and made it an early night for the sold out crowd at Roseland. The audience wasn’t obnoxious and people weren’t pushing and shoving, at least in my area of the floor. The band didn’t make us wait long for their encore either. The three song encore included “Just What I Needed,” “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight,” and my favorite, “Moving In Stereo.” With the vitality of the material on Move Like This, I hope The Cars continue to make new music because judging by their concert in New York City, they haven’t missed a beat.